The Doom Comic Revealed (Again)
Some time in 1996 a couple of guys got together and smoked what was apparently a large amount of crack and then injected pure heroin into their eyes and then proceeded to create what is now known only as 'the Doom comic'.
Say those three words (in that order) to any Doomer and they'll probably respond with one of the many taglines made famous by the comic. Throughout its sixteen pages of madness the main character (the Doomguy) utters many inane phrases while killing various hellspawn without so much as a second thought. Why he feels the need to talk to himself the entire time we'll never know, but I'm guessing he was smoking what the authors of the book were.
The great minds behind the comic include names like Michael 'Splatter' Stewart, Steve 'Body Bag' Behling, Tom 'Gallows' Grindberg and Edd 'Dead' Fear. The comic actually has two authors, which makes it all the more puzzling because I can't for the life of me comprehend how this work could possibly require two minds. Still, I supposed when you're working on something this awful you probably want to take a breather every few seconds to keep your brain from exploding.
Anyways, the basic plot (if you want to call it that) of the comic is a lone space marine on his quest for a gun. Oh, but not just any gun, the gun. The BFG, of course. Throughout his quest he happens upon smaller guns, which he uses to maim a variety of monsters including imps, specters, 'big-mouthed floating thingies', zombies and a variety of other generic monsters which could be anything really.
It should be noted, of course, that he goes through all this to get rid of a cyberdemon who has committed the heinous crime of standing there and letting the marine punch him in his 'huge guts'. Folks, you just can't make stuff like this up.
One of my most favorite parts in the comic is when the marine inadvertently falls into some radioactive sludge and suddenly, in the middle of a massive killing spree, starts to preach about how humans are ruining the environment and how we'll be leaving a destroyed planet to our children and our children's children. The whole panel is such a random segment from the rest of the comic, which provides wholesome family fun (in the form of killing shit) and then goes off on a tangential environmental crusade, albeit a pretty half-assed one.
Ahh, but I've blabbered enough about this comic. You're probably fussing in your seat by now (if you haven't skipped ahead) wondering what all this has to do with you. Well, we here at Doomworld think that this comic has been in the shadows far too long. We think that what is quite possibly the most hilarious piece of modern literature (intentionally or not) should no longer constricted to its limited release. Thus, we present to you, in all its bloody glory, the Doom Comic.
Warning: Comic may cause brain damage. Do not operate heavy machinery for at least three hours after reading the comic.