ID HAS BETRAYED US

ID Software has BETRAYED us!
How DARE they not recreate every single monster from Doom 2, pixel for pixel, color for color!
They have strayed from what keeps Doom a unique experience! God! And those environment textures. It's as if they wanted to give us the middle finger.
The ONLY way they could have made a real Doom game, is if they had simply just used the old Flats and wall textures. What were they thinking? It's not Doom if it doesn't use every single ounce of gameplay and textures from it's original, 1993, 22 year old counterpart!
And WHAT did I see in the demo? Was that a weapon held on the RIGHT of the screen?
God, now it's just like EVERY shooter out there. Absolutely nothing making it a separate experience.
And don't get me STARTED on how they DARED to use 3D models for everything.
When the hell will they learn that the only true Doom experience is one where all items, monsters and props are flat textures.
The fact that the game supports 16:9 resolutions is DISGUSTING.
It won't feel the same if I can't play it at 320x200 resolution, and all enemies in the distance are made of only five pixels.
I say we stop this outrage, and boycott Doom, and ID Software, for disrespecting it's fans in such a distasteful manner.






I hope everyone knows that this is a joke, and I'm simply poking fun at all the people complaining about aesthetics.

They better not screw up Doom 5 in the spring of 2357.

I have yet to see anyone actually make this argument. But I sure have seen a lot of hyperbole from people who can't handle anyone not liking what they like.

I picture those types of people as the kind who yell into their mic while playing Team Fortress 2 and then going on an hour long rant after about the idiot medic who dared shoot someone one time instead of doing nothing but healing them all game. (AHEM, one of my former roommates from years back, AHEM)

Find a flaw in one tiny thing and clearly the entire thing is just terrible and id has failed us.

I myself found a few flaws in some things but I'm still pretty damn excited to get my hands on it eventually. You really can't please everyone.

I think we've had enough satire of the whiners who can't handle the 21st century.

How dare they not have Morgan Freeman as the voice of Doomgy [sic and canon].

How dare they not have monsters that shoot laserbeams from their eyeballs all over the place. How dare they not have Doomgy go into a super market and come across a baron of hell eating all the snacks like a greedy jerkweed. How dare they not have Doomgy and every monster and character in the game made out of knives. How dare they not have Powerslave-esq Metroid-inspired progression. How dare they not have Aubrey Hodges compose the music and sound effects for this game. How dare they not have the stupid darts. How dare they dare not have a Sonic-inspired ranking system. How dare they not have daisy scream at you over an intercom in rabbit noises. How dare they not have a cacodemon-riding minigame. How dare they not have reverso-fatalities where you smash a monster back together and back to life and sick it on another monster. How dare they not have a selfie stick to show off to people your accomplishments or your favorite scenes in the game. How dare they not have John Romero's floating head come around like Doctor Robotnik to ruin your day by whipping you with his silky hair. How dare they not have Symphony of the Night Richter-esq super sliding kicks.

How dare they completely ignore Doom 64 and not call it Doom 5.

How dare they.

Jaxxoon R said:

How dare they completely ignore Doom 64 and not call it Doom 5.

How dare they.

You mean Doom 65, surely? I know many of us would rather forget some of them, especially Dooms 35 through 41, but we can't whitewash the franchise's history.

It can make you feel blue, but you know what they say. Da-Ba-Dee, Da-Ba-Dee, life goes on.

The audacity! First Doom 3 waz too slow and dark and Doom 4 is too fast and gory!!!!! BETRAYED FROM THE VERY START.

Let me play devil's adcotate here, because I've been uttering the same things over and over on this forum with positivity and realistic comments...

Guys, I was disappointed by Doom at the press conference. The imps THROW their fireballs in an unrealistic ark rather than launching them like traditional imps. They jump and lunge like horny monkey, but they don't move like classic imps, which is just to say they should stand there like brown snipers.

The map color felt a little too yellow and there weren't any blue carpets like traditional Doom had. I didn't see any lifts, there was no wall humping for secret doors. The chainsaw cut enemies in half which is just so dang time consuming rather than mauling them. I didn't see any hand to hand combat that ends up with Doomguy's fist in an enemy's face.

Let's talk about a break in the immersion. Am I going to have to inspect every weapon that I find? Pry it from a cold dead hands and look over it for a few seconds. How am I going to survive getting a gun in death matches when I can just easily be picked off like that? Having to break off someone's arm and use it to unlock a door is time consuming. What ever happened to getting a key and using a door rather than having to open it via a control panel.

Since when does Doomguy hold a weapon on his right and not in front of him like a pistol or a penis? How will I ever aim without knowing my projectile goes forward? What's up with the aim cursor looking up and down? This is Doom fellas, its meant to look left and right with automatic vertical aiming. I can shoot down a cacodemon without ever seeing him in Doom 1. I can't handle this new aim mechanic. If they're going to throw that in, why not throw in reloading too?

Enemies don't gib, they disintegrate. That sucks. Where's the blood? Where's the gore? Oh its in the fatalities. Doom Kombat! Yeah Doom 1 never needed fatalities, because you were killing things too rapidly. These glowing enemies prepped for fatalities is just silly. Health and ammo leak out of them? Yeah an imp ate a med cit and some bullets. Golly.... Makes sense to me. I can understand checking a body in Doom for a weapon or ammo, but not from a fatality. Its breaking the entire franchise for me.

Speaking of breaks the entire franchise that double jump... really? If our lord and savior John Carmack wanted Doomguy to double jump or even jump, he would have programmed it. Enemies can fall off ledges, so clearly a jump mechanic could have been done. Oh man I can't wait to play someone's 3D platforming wad! Notice how I said wad and not map.

Imagine the crap wads there will be flooding the system when everyone can make them. That's why the original Dooms were wise to not include a level editor. You need to have a barrier of entry for quality control. Anyone can make a video game now and look at the crap on Steam, that's why you need to have third party editors where the real men can make maps that aren't prefabricated piles of garbage.

As for the enemies, they all just stand around waiting to die. 90% of the time they're dead before they ever get a shot off. Why aren't there 30 enemies on screen at once like a giant pit of imps with a cyberdemon in the center like all the good wads? Barrels that tumble and explode? That will just get us all killed.

Barrels need to stay in one perfect place where they can explode next to us or enemies. Their barrels aren't even full of toxic ooze. I didn't even see any neon green slime in either map. Neon green slime = Doom. That's why they went to Phobos in the first place. Why is this even on Mars? wtf was Phobos used for a better game called Doom 1?

Hell isn't the Mt. Erubis I know. No lava, no grey walls, no caco demons around every corner. Specters don't become visible when they're about to die. They're meant to be shadows and not invisible!

Baron's charging? Really? So Barons are the new pinkies now just bigger? Does everything need to charge and lunge? Doom is a shooting gallery. You're the one that's supposed to move and run, not the enemies. The revenant flies now? So I guess someone played Duke Nukem from 15 years ago and thought oh we need that now. He has a laser scope? In my day he just shoots rockets, no warning, no give aways... you just know that revenant means rockets.

That Cyberdemon wasn't standing tall, he was in a pretty tight area where we can't circle strafe and run around. It looks like he's got a flame thrower, because I know rockets sure don't fire from a ball of heat.

Mancubus looks tall and shoots green fireballs? Well someone in the color department should be fired for that. His face doesn't have tentacles. he's meant to lie on the floor nursing baby imps while his tentamouth eats whatevers on the floor next to him.

End of fake rant. hope someone reads it.

No seriously, I want a game to exist with everything I just listed. That way I could leave Doom forever and die happy.

Jaxxoon R said:

No seriously, I want a game to exist with everything I just listed. That way I could leave Doom forever and die happy.

Michelle Rodriguez would make a better Doomguy voice.

But...but the weapons are too weak! And the monster die too easily!

geo said:

Michelle Rodriguez would make a better Doomgy voice.

FTFY

Best thread :D

Nicely put.

Piper Maru said:

But...but the weapons are too weak! And the monster die too easily!

That's why you need 30 on screen at once.

id software clearly peaked with wolfenstein 3d

Piper Maru said:

But...but the weapons are too weak! And the monster die too easily!

Nice, Oxymoron?

Jaxxoon R said:

How dare they not have a cacodemon-riding minigame.

WAit, you mean like Quidditch!? like slow-motion air soccer? Rocket League but with cacodemons?!?!

raymoohawk said:

id software clearly peaked with wolfenstein 3d

How could promote such tasteless, mild carnage? WolfenEVIL 3DEVIL did whatever it could to destroy traditional Christian values and replace them with those satanic Nazis from those children fantasy movies with Harrison Ford in them. We can't let our children grow up in a world with such offensive gore and evils. I was most appalled at the fictional evils portrayed in the game. Nazis are fictional relics of History's imagination. We need our children to grasp the firm, pulsating Sword of the Lord (TM) and use it to strike down real evils, like Demons, Satyrs, Satans, and Muslims. iD Software once looked like a happy company with good values when they blessed us with Commander Keen, which was a good wholesome game that reminded us that illegal aliens invading our perfect God-given UNITED STATES OF AMERICA have no place here, and that even our children need to be armed to the teeth in order to wipe out the evil border crossers (Relayed to us in the prophetic image of fictional aliens). We need wholesome entertainment, such as Super Noah's Ark 3D, a good game gifted to us from God with every copy of the Bible Man film collection. You hedonistic Satanists! I'll see you in Hell, where I'm standing at the pearly gates, eating Munchkins served to be by damn dirty apes.

Clearly the best game is Ethnic Cleansing and Catchechumen or whatever those games were called.

You are racially cleansing the undead. They're a race of people too or a status of people. We shouldn't be promoting killing so many things. We should really be hugging them so they realize they should put down their weapons. Like a stealth game where you surprise them with hugs so they don't shoot you.

Killing demons is misogyny. All gamers secretly think of women as demons so when they're killing them they're living out their fantasies.

gamul312 said:

Killing demons is misogyny. All gamers secretly think of women as demons so when they're killing them they're living out their fantasies.

As I've pointed out on the forum, imps is women.

Jaxxoon R said:

How dare they not have John Romero's floating head come around like Doctor Robotnik to ruin your day by whipping you with his silky hair.

This needs to happen in a wad.

geo said:

That Cyberdemon wasn't standing tall, he was in a pretty tight area where we can't circle strafe and run around. It looks like he's got a flame thrower, because I know rockets sure don't fire from a ball of heat.

And was the player about to use a BFG on him? Regular weapons can harm the Cyberdemon in Doom 4? Well, that really undermines the Soul Cube, doesn't it!?

gamul312 said:

WAit, you mean like Quidditch!? like slow-motion air soccer? Rocket League but with cacodemons?!?!

Nintendo's got you covered with the new Metroid.

esselfortium said:

I have yet to see anyone actually make this argument. But I sure have seen a lot of hyperbole from people who can't handle anyone not liking what they like.

This. I don't think even I get nearly as bitchy-whiny as the community at large is implied to by the parodies. And I was initially like the one guy who didn't love everything about the showcase.

I think on the most common criticisms everyone might actually agree - we don't want pixel by pixel, color for color, but the videos are definitely missing a core element from Doom1/2/64 that is as important as "killing demons" - level layouts that create tension, necessitate exploration, enable a slightly tactical approach, and such. The gameplay in the old dooms seems a bit deeper, more involved than the distilled "run into the middle of everything and just move erratically, the supplies will come to you and the demons won't give you too much trouble" style we've been shown.

And I don't believe anyone can argue that the aesthetic style of demons and hell in general has shifted a lot from the original games (as I said in another thread, it's more generic fantasy demonic than satanic and/or occult).

And the third common complaint we seem to have is that the fatalities (including the chainsaw kills) interrupt the pace too much.

I think these are all reasonable points, no?

Janus3003 said:

Nintendo's got you covered with the new Metroid.

There's NO new metroid, that was all a hallucination!

Janus3003 said:

Nintendo's got you covered with the new Metroid.

All I can think about is the new Doom so I haven't seen it. Is it good? I hope it's good.

DooM_RO said:

All I can think about is the new Doom so I haven't seen it. Is it good? I hope it's good.

-No Samus
-Play as Galactic Federation guys (a quick shot in the trailer makes me think that they're actually Miis)
-Chibi-style graphics that look like they come from a DS game
-No real exploration
-Sporty mini-game as one of the main features

Now I need to go see if that Metroid Doom mod is still being developed.

Just saw this trailer today,and wow it's so fucking great, The graphics, the feel .. everything else, even the environment is super sweet :D .

Janus3003 said:

-Sporty mini-game as one of the main features

I thought they presented that as just another game that is packaged with the main one. Not that it makes the main one any less of a punch in the nads.

I've already made a satirical video just for this occasion