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spoiler - highlight to read:


In the story, he is demoted to sub-vice-private and is turned into Sgt. Kelly errand-boy, doing all sorts of menial tasks like sweeping floors, delivering packages etc. At least, he was issued a sort of all-terrain "Mars Moon" scooter to quickly travel between the various UAC bases in order to deliver packages quickly, lug his janitor gear etc.

When the shit hits the fan, he was just returning to the Hangar after such a "mission". He finds himself the sole survivor in the base, he thinks that it's a wonderful opportunity to clear his name (and perhaps reach Sgt. Kelly's office and destroy the documents reporting his demotion before they get sent back to Earth. In that way, and with no witnesses, it will have never officially happened). Armed with the gun from the dead marine in front of him, and the mobility of his super-janitor Mars Moon scooter, he sets forth on his mission. The rest, as they say, is legend.

This explains very well the speed achieved (analyzed to death to be about 12.5 mph/25 mph for walking/running and 45 mph for wallrunning), comparable with a moped, and his terrain negotiating and movement limitations.

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sgt dopey said:
The way I think that doomguy can run at insane speeds and carry a hell of a lot is that he takes steroids, lots and lots of them

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40oz said:
cacodemons hot gas theory

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Hey you turkey weeds that ain't no ****hole. You guys know those big beach balls that you blow up with air. Well the Cacodemons are inflatable and the big Cyberdemons have to inflate them every morning, using their Cyberlips. That's why the Caco's float so nicely, they're full of hot Cyberair. Also that's why they deflate like a sack of crud when you plug em full of lead.

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geo said:
> CARRYING WEAPONS
Flat technology. Watch Ultra Violet and they demonstrate flat technology. Things like a sword can fit into a belt. An entire child can be in a laptop computer.

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D_GARG said:
DOOM is infact the start of a new generation of cyberdwelling dudes and chicks who are batteries for a DoomsDayMachine which is not a solid mega mecha but a communication machine which is spread far across the earth to start certain natural disasters or other sad and epic events of destruction or why not instead MLP becomes REAL and the cosmic ecvations becomes fully calculated and alien races or gods comes to earth to pickup geneticly perfected humans to bring them to edens garden (AKA gods crib) and then when the cycles are reset it will take another 2000-2500 years before next divine delivery of humans will be on its way to eden and no one will notice one signel thing.
DOOM in numbers= D=4 O=15 O=15 M=13 =4+15+15+13=47=4*7=28=2*8=16

so there will be 16^16 elements that will do its part in this entire process and just as many demons/angels to ensure nothing will go wrong

wile we're at it yasunori Kato will be there to destroy Tokyo but will only go so far that he awakes Taira no Masakado just in time to keep the eastern world in balance. if youre waiting for M Bison to show up you will only find Kato, exept that you will never find him unless he finds you.

meanwile in the north an ice age will break out to wipe the weak out of the northen surface to make sure that the odds of finding geneticly perfect humans will increase by some 2% over the affected area.


then in some distant future one man will gain demonic powers by visiting hell and make it back, becomming so possesed that he'll make this jurney some hundred times and find immortality given by the false heavens and then be betrayed by the UAC because of their desire for more resources from distant worlds and darkness will be balanced out in order by him until hell turns its attention back to alien-god races that they've fought since ancient-cosmic times.

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Face23785 said:


Opium?

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sgt dopey said:
The way I think that doomguy can run at insane speeds and carry a hell of a lot is that he takes steroids, lots and lots of them

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MSPaintR0cks said:
There is not only one doomguy, but one for every weapon, all walking behind each other as one big line. When you change a weapon, the doomguy carrying that one quickly runs to the front of the line where the camera is (which is also being held by a doomguy). All of them are so fast (they wear roller skates) that you don`t see them when you turn around. They quickly move behind the camera.

That or another theory I read somewhere here two years ago. Doomguy is sitting inside a shopping cart with all his weapons. The shoppin cart is being steered by another doomguy. That explains the speed.

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MSPaintR0cks said:
There is not only one doomguy, but one for every weapon, all walking behind each other as one big line. When you change a weapon, the doomguy carrying that one quickly runs to the front of the line where the camera is (which is also being held by a doomguy). All of them are so fast (they wear roller skates) that you don`t see them when you turn around. They quickly move behind the camera.

That or another theory I read somewhere here two years ago. Doomguy is sitting inside a shopping cart with all his weapons. The shoppin cart is being steered by another doomguy. That explains the speed.

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fraggle said:
However, I'm having difficulty visualizing 9-10 Doomguys on rollerskates in a line all carrying different weapons. Could someone perhaps come up with an illustration?

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MajorRawne said:
The Cacodemons in Doom 64 were modelled after a dog poo someone saw in a park. So were all the other monsters. And the weapons. And the levels. Id software secretly call Doom 64 "Doom: the poopoo in the park edition".

Sorry, I couldn't think of more relevant conspiracies, but these theories are more convincing than any of the 9/11 theories.

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