AlexMax
Forum Regular

Posts: 757
Registered: 01-03 |
I think a little explination is in order.
At the time, I was under the assumption that Ty had not gotten back from his trip, and had not bothered to check the database to see if it had updated. I found out a week or so later that in fact he HAD updated it, and that I had a boatload of WAD's to review. I decided to start knocking them out, but in desperatio, I decided to put in my reviews into the /newstuff maker directly instead of going from text file to /newstuff maker manually. Naturaly, the worst happened, and when I took a break, Opera shit a brick and I lost the WAD's I had done.
Days passed. WAD's piled up. My interest waned. I kept setting aside time to do /newstuff, but I found that my interest in doing /newstuff was fading, that I would rather spend what free time I had doing other things, such as playing Natural Selection.
So...what now? Well...after some soul searching, I've decided that the next newstuff contribution I do will be my last.
Why? Well, it's not fun anymore. I could be working on /newstuff RIGHT FREAKING NOW, knocking out a couple WAD's, but you know what, I just got done with a playthrough of Radiant Silvergun. Tonight I'm going out to dinner and I've got a class tomorrow morning at 8am. Now, these are all little things, but I'm finding that playing Doom has been the absolute last thing I've wanted to do recently when I get free time.
It's not just because I dropped the ball a few weeks ago with /newstuff. Really, it's more than that. I've realized that I've been IRCing it and messing around a little bit too much recently, and found that if I pulled myself away from it for a week (like I had been doing), that I found that I really didn't miss it. I no longer had to be pissed off when I heard what the latest dumb thing that the ZDaemon administration or Carnevil did to friends of Unidoom. I didn't have people bugging me to finish Odamex CTF, and I wasn't making promises to people about maps I'd do or tasks I'd do that I'd feel guilty about for not following through on. I shouldn't be thinking "Oh god, not this again." when someone private messages me about some random thing. I don't feel like playing doom anymore, I just don't give enough of a shit to be a semi-intergal part of the community anymore.
Pretty much all the fun in the Doom Community that I got previously from being in an awesome clan and dominating multiplayer is now ruined for one reason or another, thanks to complete fucking assholes. Odamex is a light at the end of the tunnel, but who knows when that's going to reach public hands, or if anyone will still care when it's released. Whatever. I'm done. Wake me up when I can play some fucking online doom without feeling like I'm walking on eggshells around people. I just want a vacation from the whole mess.
P.S. dean, AIM me, faygo
Last edited by AlexMax on 01-12-07 at 21:16
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