Gez
Why don't I have a custom title by now?!
Posts: 6458
Registered: 07-07 |
Sometimes, WADs with a very simple idea executed properly can be astoundingly good. Unfortunately, Dagobah is not one of those WADs.
Ooh, burn! It was a fine diss!
Truly, stronger flames have never been fanned over the whole Internet. The seething insult that pervade this sentence, with its hideous impertinence in daring to claim a mod is not "astoundingly good", has never been dreamed of before. I should say, for the horror of the experience is unrelenting, nightmared of. There is no worse fate than being deemed "not astoundingly good".
To quote the author, the map is "a series of six rooms with emphasis on intense battles rather than delicate architecture." This essentially boils down to some very dull moments of holding down the trigger and having monsters come through doors to their doom or imps getting hit from behind by a Cacodemon and infighting. Even on UV (the readme claims difficulty is not implemented, yet the monster count was higher on UV when I tested), the only times most players will die is either getting impatient and rushing into a room or falling prey to the one trap which will most likely send a dumb-fire Revenant rocket straight into your back before you even realize you triggered it.
Here the critic demonstrates how little he knows. Instead of rightfully taking the author's description for granted, as is right and proper for any civilized person, he has the cheek to trust his own, inferior judgment to render his verdict. This philistine claims that shooting through a door and waiting for the hordes of monsters to get stupidly into the line of fire is dull. This shows on his part a lack of appreciation for the clever use of audacious tactics.
Health is enough to keep you going even if you make some mistakes and the ammo is just enough to let you get through, keeping you in reliance on drops from Former Sergeants and Chaingunners.
Wait -- this doesn't sound too negative. Is he saying the map is balanced adequately? Generous enough not to be frustrating, but still tight enough to force alternating between weapons and having the loot fallen enemies. Sounds good, in fact. There may be hope for him yet!
In total, the map will probably take less than two minutes to complete, and I sadly can't say I really enjoyed the two minutes.
Damnation! I spoke too soon! The unrepentant knave was just trying to lull us into a false sense of security before striking again with this backhanded backstab. How backward! I have to take my words back.
The architecture is not horrible,
To the uninitiated, this might be a positive remark; but we are now wise to this scoundrel's tricks. This faint praise is just another example of his negativity. Instead of saying "the architecture is excellent", or "breathtaking", or "splendid", as he should have; or maybe even just "okay" if compliments really scald his lips (well, fingertips) as much as it seems; he has to place a negative word and a word with pejorative connotations.
but it's puzzling why the author would choose to create such a simple and tiny map instead of a decent sized one.
Size matters not, as a wise little green man once said.
There may be a few people who will appreciate it, but it's not going to be going on my hard drive any time soon.
Hah! He betrayed himself here! Since he reviewed it, it was already on his hard drive! The joke is on him, and all is well that ends well.
Well, now that we have analyzed in details this miscreant's calumnious slander, it is made obvious that graver offenses have never been committed in the history of mankind. This review was a crime, nay a blasphemy; with no fairness whatsoever and no mitigating factor. The reviewer went out of his way to discourse over imaginary flaws, spoke of none of the qualities (though, honestly, he would never have been able to stop if he had only started), and exhibited vile malignancy throughout his logorrhea of aggression.
Cjwright79 is entitled to receive nothing but glowing praise for his worthy efforts. Anything else will result, justly, in thread derailment about the lack of social grace exhibited by certain people.
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02-05-10 21:45 
