MajorRawne
Member
Posts: 446
Registered: 04-10 |
Gents, I think our female friend might not appreciate sexual references, let's show her that at least some men in the world do not go around sexually harassing people.
In other news I wrote a fething review about Zero Day and never submitted it, and I was a lot less generous than the person who actually covered it. Basically I hated everything about it and couldn't believe how crap it was. I submit my review here NOT to invalidate the other review, just because I spent over an hour playing through and writing it so you can all fething well read it.
ZERO DAY (mp3 edition)
Oh dear Emperor on his Golden Throne. I was going to help the mapper's writing career by telling everyone about his upcoming novel, Zero Day, which has provided inspiration for this wad. I was going to wish him well; I was also going to ask him to change the main character's name from JEREMY GOVERNMENT to something that will not get his manuscript chucked straight in the bin by an editor with no appreciation of crap names.
Then I fired the mapset up. At first I couldn't believe what I was seeing. I think it's been about 10 years since I saw maps like these, and they were 1994 wads. In fact I don't think I've EVER seen maps like these. They're... I mean they're... Jesus Christ, just look at the screenshots.
Every map is broadly the same. There are some narrow bits and many, many open areas. Now I appreciate overscaled maps, I really like them in fact, but I have rarely seen one done well. I just like the sense of weird, nostalgic awe they evoke. In that respect this wad is a winner. In every other respect... just look at the screenshots. Oh feth, I've wet myself.
I got a few minutes into map one before I couldn't stand it any more. The architecture is appalling, the weapon placement sucks my arse cheeks – and the less said about monster deployment the better. Suffice it to know that I have never seen such inept monster placement since playing that shite Fiffy wad last week. Again, that was from 1994 or something, I'm not sure because all I remember was printing Fiffy out and flushing him down the toilet straight after playing his maps.
AND EVERY MAP IN ZERO DAY IS EXACTLY THE FETHING SAME.
It's unplayable and has no redeeming features AT ALL. I cannot believe anyone would play this lot through and enjoy it. I couldn't bear more than a few minutes of it, yet I soldiered on to be accurate with my complaining.
All I can say in summary is, I hope you're better at writing novels than you are at building Doom wads mate.
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06-19-11 02:07 
