Funny Anecdotes

Someone made this post, then it went to hell.

There was this major/minor skirmish between an Elephant and a mouse. Mouse eats some cheese and farts on the "Kurds"...heh...and waves its big-little-propaganda weapons around, Elephant goes "peanuts"...heh...and tramples on everyting in site just mabye getting lucky enought to hit the little "mouse".

Cartman ate a lot of food and got fat

Kenny was created by Matt Stone and Tray Parker just so we could laugh at him when he his mutilated in various ways.

You and I post in the DoomWorld forums because we have nothing better to do, atleast some people don't

People watch CNN, therefore they become brainwashed.

Bush becomes prez, therefore we can make jokes.

I think, therefore I am.


Nuff' said

MagnuM said:

I think, therefore I am.


Nuff' said

Cogito ergo sum.

EDIT: w00t! Go Renè Descartes!

1. You made that post just a few hours ago.
2. It didn't go to Hell, because it's just one silly post in the War thread.
3. The mods are getting a little low on patience with you right now.

patience is a virtue ya know.

And I'm sorry if I upset them. So what i posted it twice. I thought it might look a little better in a funny anecdote string err...thread, whatever you call it. Oh yeah a thread!

Killer Impatience, yeah oh yeah yeah!...

MagnuM said:
I think, therefore I am.


Nuff' said

I am, therefore I suck.

MagnuM said:

I think, therefore I am.


Nuff' said

You think?

On the morning of the day of the Apocalypse, Willy woke up and made himself bacon and eggs and rye toast. He did usually eat bacon, but since today was such a special day, he figured why not. Like most people these days, he had a hard time keeping his food down, but that didn't stop Willy from eating. He enjoyed food too much. Willy went outside. he loved to breathe fresh air. He decided to head across the street and visit his good friend Bob. When Willy got to Bob's house, he found that Bob, in utter despair, had shot himself in the head.
"Some people have no patience whatsoever" Willy proclaimed.
"Well, I'm not going to kill myself. I'm sticking it out. Today's a special day, the last day of planet Earth and I'm going to enjoy myself. Maybe today I won't go to the health spa. Maybe I'll just stay here and drink all of Bob's beer. Or maybe when Bob's wife comes home, I'll take her out dancing. Yeah, that's it: dancing. I'm going home to get changed!"
Willy raced out the door into the street, not noticing the runaway steamroller that flattened him into a pancake in less that one second. The world would have to end without Willy.

Ct_red_pants said:

I am, therefore I suck.

Hey, that's my line, returd.

Hilda said to Harry, "Come down here and make love to me!"

"I can't do both!", he said :)

"Meanwhile, back on the ranch..."

Once I got drunk on holiday, so I went back to my room and I tried to get something out of my suitcase but the floor was slippery, so I fell in, I was trying to be as quiet as possible because I thought my mum was asleep. Every time I tried to get out I slipped back in again. After two hours I gave up, curled up inside the suit case and zipped it shut. I couldn't get out in the morning. 'How could my friends ignore the rolling, bouncing, screaming suitcase?' I thought when some angry guy opened it. Then I realised I had gone into the wrong room and case.

I was drunk, how was I supposed to know?

Little Faith said:
Hey, that's my line, returd.

You have 4 replies to beat me to it. :P

You're not me, therefore you're irrelevant.

DC

A Story:

Finaly, the day had come. I stood there in front of the DMV with the plastic card in my hand. A genuine driver's licence. Finaly, after 20-odd years of nothing, maybe I could get my life into my hands. The drive home was refreshing, especialy since I was the driver. But on the way back from the City, a sense of dread began to wash over me. What could possibly be wrong on such a nice sunny day as today?

I pulled over at a stand by the side of the road selling various refreshments. I ordered myself up a Mike's and began to sip. It was cool, and quenched my thirst but still, something was wrong. Very wrong. A shadow passed over me as a cloud blotted out the sun. I looked up only to see it was not the sun at all. The entire sky was going dim. The sun went out and was extinguished to mere coals, a dull cold rock, like the moons around it. Wait...moons? Earth has but one moon. What is going on, I thought to myself. Thats when He came.

He imposed his image onto my conciousness. Though I could not see him, I knew his image. Though I had never heard his name, I recalled it in an instant. Though he spoke not to me, I could hear his words. "I come," said the evil presence. "All the other Tainted shall die by my hand and there will be only Me." I suddenly felt hunted. I suddenly knew who I was. I was one of the Tainted. I was one of the ones He wanted. But I was safe for now. The others, they had all used their powers to get themselves positions in society. But my unfocused mind had never been able to refine this otherworldy sense to get me anywhere. All my life I had been jobless, lost, without any sense of direction. But this low profile had saved me. Though he knew who I was, he had not the power to find me. Not yet.

Just then I snapped back to my surroundings. The sky was still black, but now heavenly bodies fought against each other in the void above. Meteros smashing into planets and obliterating them. Moons being crushed in the wake of large comets. Chaos, destruction, doom.

Yet no one seemed to notice. An old TV at the roadside bar played Saturday Night Live reruns as the bartender thumbed through the latest news paper. People passed in the streets, somehow empty looking now, but not seeming to care at any rate. They walked on, oblivious to the turmoil around them.

But I knew. He will come to kill me. First the others, one by one. Then me. By that time, his power will be so great that the destruction of the world would be but an afterthought. That's that. The end. We are all doomed.

---
And so ends the dream I had last night. I swear, if this keeps up any longer, they are going to have to commit me.