Crendowing
I've lost my unbanned status....I couldn't be happier :P
Posts: 2722
Registered: 01-01 |
I have finally come up with a name!
Here goes:
THIS DIFFICULTY IS SO HARD THAT NOT EVEN THE BEST DOOMER CAN BEAT IT...NOT BY A LONGSHOT BUDDY! GUESS YOU MIGHT AS WELL PUT THAT GUN DOWN, STAY WHERE YOU ARE AT, AND LET THE SLAVERING BEASTS OF HELL MAUL YOU TO SHREDS. NONE OF YOUR SHOTS WILL MATTER, FOR DAMAGE ON THIS DIFFICULTY IS ABOUT TEN MILLION TIMES LESS THAN WHAT IT USUALLY IS. HA HA, GUESS YOU GET THE LAST LAUGH. ALL THE MONSTERS NEED TO DO IS LAY A FINGER ON YOUR WORTHLESS 200% ARMOR AND YOU'LL SPLATTER INTO OBLIVION! WOW, THAT BLOODSTAIN ON THE FLOOR WHERE YOUR BODY USED TO BE IS JUST THE BEGINNING OF WHAT'S TO COME NOW THAT YOU'VE PICKED THIS DIFFICULTY LEVEL. YOU WERE OUR ONLY HOPE FOR SALVATION AND DESTRUCTION OF THESE HELLSPAWN. THANKS TO YOU, ALL OF HUMANITY WILL SUFFER, BE TORTURED, MAYBE EVEN PERISH. CITIES WILL BURN, THE GROUND WILL BE BARREN, AND CORPSES WILL COVER WHAT ONCE WAS BEAUTIFUL LAND. NICE GOING BUDDY. NOT ONLY THAT, BUT YOUR WIFE AND KIDS WILL BE TORTURED, MAYBE EVEN RAPED! ALL THEY'LL ASK IS, "WHY?" RIGHT BEFORE THE IMPS OR BARONS OR WHATEVER SLITS THEIR THROATS. YOUR BUDDIES LOOKING DOWN, OR RATHER, UP UPON YOU FROM HELL WILL ASK, "WHY'D YOU DO IT BUDDY? DID YOU REALLY THINK YOU HAD THE GUTS OR SKILL TO DO IT? MAN, NOT EVEN GOD COULD DO THIS! GOOD LUCK TRYING TO GET ALONG WITH ME DOWN HERE!" I'LL BET THAT EVEN YOU WILL BE KICKING YOURSELF IN THE ASS FOR CHOOSING THIS DIFFICULTY! WHEN YOU ARRIVE IN HELL, WHOEVER RUNS IT WILL BE LAUGHING HIS ASS OFF AND DANCE ALL OVER YOU. WHO KNOWS? MAYBE IN A FEW THOUSAND YEARS EARTH WILL BE DESTROYED AND NOTHING LEFT OF IT WILL REMAIN EXCEPT MAYBE A CHARRED ROCK. THE DEMONS WILL JUST LEAVE EARTH LIKE NOTHING EVER HAPPENED AND MOVE ON TO ENSLAVE SOME OHTER USUSPECTING WORLD. ALL THIS JUST BECAUSE YOU CHOSE THIS DIFFICULTY LEVEL. HUMANITY WILL ONLY BE A MEMORY AT BEST? WHY? WHY? COME ON BUDDY! CAN'T YOU JUST GET SOME COMMON SENSE INTO YOUR HEAD? ASK YOURSELF, "DO I HAVE WHAT IT TAKES? CAN I REALLY SAVE EARTH AT THIS HIGH A DIFFICULTY?" WELL, DON'T BOTHER ASKING BECAUSE THE ANSWER IS SIMPLE...NO, YOU DON'T, AND NOBODY DOES! YOU'VE WASTED ENOUGH TIME JUST READING WHAT THE NAME OF THIS DIFFICULTY LEVEL IS, SO WHY BOTHER EVEN SELECTING IT? DO YOURSELF AND THE REST OF THE UNIVERSE A FAVOR AND DON'T PICK THIS DIFFICULTY LEVEL! CAN YOU POSSIBLY THINK OF ANYTHING DUMBER TO DO THAN PICK THIS DIFFICULTY?????
Imagine all that on the menu. Heh. Also, you know how when you pick Nightmare, it gives a warning before you start (Are you sure? This difficulty isn't even remotely fair)? Well, here's my warning for this new difficulty:
FINE! GO AHEAD! I WASTED ALL THOSE WORDS FOR NOTHING! WE'RE DOOMED NOW BECAUSE OF YOU! I HOPE YOU'RE PROUD OF YOUR DECISION, YOU CUM GUZZLING, MONKEY ASS RAPING, SON-OF-A-BITCH! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE NOW, THANKS TO THIS DECISION OF YOURS! YOU MIGHT AS WELL START WRITING YOUR EPITAPH NOW, IF YOU'LL BE LUCKY ENOUGH TO GET A GRAVESTONE! I HATE YOU MAN! I HATE YOU! I FUCKING HATE YOU TO FUCKING HELL! I DIDN'T WANT IT TO END LIKE THIS, BUT NOOOOOOOOO, YOU JUST HAD TO PICK IT, DIDN'T YOU? NOW YOU'RE GONNA GO DOWN IN HISTORY AS THE MOST SHAMEFUL MAN OF ALL, THE MAN THAT BROUGHT DEATH AND DESTRUCTION TO HUMANKIND! SOME HERO Y0OU ARE! HUMANITY WILL BE LUCKY IF IT EVEN HAS A HISTORY AFTER THIS! NO, WE WON'T. WE'LL ALL BE ROTTING IN THE GROUND OR HAVE BEEN EATEN BY A DEMON OR AN IMP BY THE TIME YOU FINISH WITH THIS DIFFICULTY, WHICH SHOULDN'T LAST TOO LONG. GOODBYE, AND THANKS FOR NOTHING, NUMBNUTS! I CAN'T BELIEVE MORE TIME HAS BEEN WASTED TRYING TO WARN YOU OF THE DANGERS AHEAD, AND YOU WERE TOO THICK-HEADED TO LISTEN TO ME! BOO FUCKING HOO! I REALLY WANNA FRAG YOUR ASS NOW!
You get the idea; the player will become so frustrated with reading all that that they'll never pick it if their life depended on it!
(Note: I hope you're not taking this serioiusly)
|
10-10-01 20:03 
