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Maes

All da other portable consoles are shit!

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Whether your friends to kill his wife in the forehead, the ball is worth 1.


3 across, six letters.

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That sentence is my favorite since it actually sounds like a game description, although what game it's describing is a bit nebulous :)

How that got created from the original ("Whatever killed your buddies deserves a couple of pellets in the forehead") is hard to fathom.

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david_a said:

That sentence is my favorite since it actually sounds like a game description, although what game it's describing is a bit nebulous :)

How that got created from the original ("Whatever killed your buddies deserves a couple of pellets in the forehead") is hard to fathom.

whatever -> whether
your buddies -> your friends
killed -> to kill
a couple -> his wife
pellets -> the ball
deserves -> is worth

Basically, standard grammatical cluelessness coupled with wrong choice of meaning for synonyms. Typical of automatic translations.

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Nems said:
inb4 someone ports Doom onto this

Kagemaru_H said:
Um, do you even see a proper Doom on a GB Mono (i.e. not just a Wolf3D clone)? I'm afraid the closest you have is "Soldier", or hacking Soldier for a Doom theme with blood and all.

I've played Doom on an iPod mini (via homebrew firmware); I'd believe it if Doom was ported to this.

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DeumReaper said:

I've played Doom on an iPod mini (via homebrew firmware); I'd believe it if Doom was ported to this.


The iPod mini is still infinitely more powerful than the GameKing, hardware-wise (GameKing: 6502@6Mhz, 8-bit, iPod mini: dual embedded ARM CPUs@ 90MHz, 32-bit) so the iPod is actually closer to a dual Pentium 100 in processing power, plus it has a better screen (if it had a VGA, it would probably beat your first Pentium PC hands down).

However there are Doom Maze War 3D ports for systems with LESS CPU power than the GameKing (C64, ZX Spectrum, TI-99/A etc.) so if it had a better screen...why not.

However with such a small screen the very least it could have no further pixelation (because the pixels would be already maxed out!) and insanely smooth framerates, with 6x the CPU power of a C64 ;-)

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exl said:
Who'd buy that?

Heh, I'd probably be more inclined to buy something like this than a serious console or hand held... mainly out of humorous amusement.

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myk said:

Heh, I'd probably be more inclined to buy something like this than a serious console or hand held... mainly out of humorous amusement.


I have a collection of some pretty obscure stuff, like LIDL's Java-based handheld "MILLENIUM MX 1000" or the GameKing III famiclone, as well as a number of sophisticated "multi tetris" and some older stuff. Sometimes you even find something that's actually playable and not beaten to death already (e.g. one Famiclone I got recently had Super Mario Bros 3, very unusual) but often you get just generic 1-st gen garbage (PLEASE, I'm sick of seeing Track & Field and Duck Hunt on Famiclones).

DeumReaper said:

I'd believe it if Doom was ported to this.


The only thing preventing it is the half-assed approach the Chinese manufacturers use when ripping-off creating new games for it. Brian Provenzano's hardware reverse engineering proved that they stored levels as large bitmaps (no tiles, no sprites), sounds as looping samples (no synthesis) etc.

If third-party development was possible it could do some wicked stuff though (the screen has 4 shades of grey and the 6 MHz 6502 CPU has power to spare even for a fully 3D game, at that resolution, 48 x 32 pixels). Max cart size is about 512 K (for 4-in-1 games, single ones are 128K).

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Suddenly, "All your base are belong to us" sounds like proper grammar.

"Bran -new racing?" :)
IT'S A RACE TO THE BATHROOM, BECAUSE ONE HAD TOO MUCH BRAN, AND THE NEXT REST STOP IS 20 MILES AWAY. CAN YOU MAKE IT?

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Georgef551 said:

IT'S A RACE TO THE BATHROOM, BECAUSE ONE HAD TOO MUCH BRAN, AND THE NEXT REST STOP IS 20 MILES AWAY. CAN YOU MAKE IT?


I must give you some respect man. Good toilet joke. I award you 3 Golden Ferguson toilets, personally broken in by Al "Shoehorn" Bundy himself.

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Maes said:

If third-party development was possible it could do some wicked stuff though (the screen has 4 shades of grey and the 6 MHz 6502 CPU has power to spare even for a fully 3D game, at that resolution, 48 x 32 pixels). Max cart size is about 512 K (for 4-in-1 games, single ones are 128K).


So I'm thinking Doom could be possible as a 512K 4-in-1 (to cover Ultimate Doom) with some clever compression techniques.

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I vote that someone should make a voiceacted video out of that engrish, as a lulzy guide to Doom. One-up Zero Wing forever more!

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Kagemaru_H said:

So I'm thinking Doom could be possible as a 512K 4-in-1 (to cover Ultimate Doom) with some clever compression techniques.

Mmh, Doom in 48x32 pixels, four shades of gray. This would be so worth it!

Someone makes a custom playpal were all colors are reduced to which of four shade of gray they're the closest, and try it in a port that allows custom resolutions to see what it looks like 48x32. Then play through, say, Plutonia 2 with it.

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Ragnor said:

I vote that someone should make a voiceacted video out of that engrish, as a lulzy guide to Doom. One-up Zero Wing forever more!


Make that a voiceacted video (or rather, audio file) of the Doom Comic in engrish, and I'm in ;-)

Chinglish:
Who is a person and half? I am a person and half. The madman packs the human and half. You do not have to be wrong I not possibly fixed…With mine hand! Blasting explosive! I cook with the gas! I have several vertebrae and crazy fully. That is your spinal cord baby, digs it.

Japlish:
Are the person and half who? I am the person and half. Atrocious packing person and half. Me with my hand…Not being able to lock by mistake there is no with you at all! Dynamite! I have cooked the gas! I have a handful of vertebra and the head of the lunatic sufficiently. Obtaining you obtain, that the baby of your spinal cord, is that you dig.

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I'd like to see a mod with monsters based on those engrish descriptions. I can't imagine what a Heavy Weapon Dandy might look like. :p

Also:

the tragic death of the body explosion

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Maes said:

I must give you some respect man. Good toilet joke. I award you 3 Golden Ferguson toilets, personally broken in by Al "Shoehorn" Bundy himself.

Well, eventually, SOMETHING has to hit! :)

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Snarboo said:

I'd like to see a mod with monsters based on those engrish descriptions. I can't imagine what a Heavy Weapon Dandy might look like. :p




Yes that is an arm-mounted chaingun.

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