Would you date someone who is transgendered?

phobosdeimos1 said:

Phobus, was she overweight? Out of curiosity

No, not that I'm aware of (certainly not skinny though). I'd say she was "alright". Not breath-taking, not bile-inducing, but somewhere around the middle. Better looking than one or two of the girls I've woken up next to when I've been out drinking far too much, but not as attractive as either of my ex-girlfriends.

Heh, now I just sound shallow :P

Yes, I would. Then again, I myself am a trans woman.

yukib1t said:

Yes, I would. Then again, I myself am a trans woman.

Pre-op, Post-op or not gonna get an op?

Op.

Yes.

Who the fuck cares if they're transgendered? It doesn't bother me.

Coopersville said:

No. Not even Kat.

Not even once

Mr. Chris said:

Yes.

Who the fuck cares if they're transgendered? It doesn't bother me.

This.

Mr. Chris said:

Who the fuck cares if they're transgendered?

I do. No matter how much they mutilate their bodies to look like women, they're still men, whether they're willing to admit it or not.

So no, I wouldn't date a transgender woman

To actually answer OP's question, I can only say that I'd be able to give a definitive answer after coming across said situation personally. My gut reaction is, "Sure," but then again, there's a plethora of other factors that I haven't even begun to consider, much less the one's I have. Of course, the physical attraction would be there.

Ah, yes, there's also this classic Doomworld conundrum.

Quick OT: Shit, has anyone heard from Patrick?

To clarify my position on it, I'm totally fine with them, I just wouldn't want to be in a relationship with one. Because no matter how much they are female physically, it would just feel weird to me at the core to know that they're still technically in a male body.

Now, if brain swapping was possible (as in, FTMs and MTFs not changing their bodies in any way, but just getting their brains surgically swapped), then I may actually consider it, because I have no problem with the mentality aspects of it, just the physical aspects.

Of course, neuroscience isn't advanced enough to do that yet, so the answer is still no.

Craigs said:

I do. No matter how much they mutilate their bodies to look like women, they're still men, whether they're willing to admit it or not.

So no, I wouldn't date a transgender woman

Good, that leaves more transgender women for me. Sucker.

I would. It doesn't bother me at all, excluding the trust issues of keeping something like that hidden. Not only am I in a similar position to OP, but my closest friend is transgendered.

Mr. Chris said:

Yes.

Who the fuck cares if they're transgendered? It doesn't bother me.

:D

phobosdeimos1 said:

Pre-op, Post-op or not gonna get an op?

Op.

Just like yours are none of mine, my genitals are none of your business.

I have been in a relationship for six years and am still a virgin. Let's say it turns out she was once a man...it seems like it wouldn't make much difference at this point, since we've never had sex, so I guess in that case I'd say I'm okay with it. This is assuming, of course, that in this scenario she looks exactly the same; you know, no subtle "manly" features.

I will be with anyone, so long as I truly love them and value our relationship.

With that in mind, dating someone transgendered (it'd be a transmen in my case) would have sexual issues, as I'm not entirely interested in innies in bed--That's not to say a couple couldn't make it work, and if we loved each other, we'd make it work, it'd just be a complication.

The responses to this thread make me smile, I'm surprised as many people are as open minded here.

PRIMEVAL said:

Would I date one? No. If you're not comfortable enough with yourself that you have to change, then how can I be comfortable around you? You're not who you say you are.

Would I continue to date if I found out? No. As Soda said, deceit. Sorta goes back to my first point.

Also, in my personal opinion, it's a bit creepy. But whatever floats your boat. As long as I'm not in it.

You're a dick.

eargosedown said:

The responses to this thread make me smile, I'm surprised as many people are as open minded here.

I just thought up a couple of questions that are even more awkward than the OP's. If these can't close some of these open minds then nothing will.

If it turned out that your current girlfriend/boyfriend/whatever suffered from gender dysphoria, would you stay with them during and after a sex change?

If no, can you imagine loving anyone enough that you would stay with them through a sex change?

Aliotroph? said:

This is well into the realm of "I'll let you know when it happens."

Pretty much this.

Creaphis said:

If it turned out that your current girlfriend/boyfriend/whatever suffered from gender dysphoria, would you stay with them during and after a sex change?

If no, can you imagine loving anyone enough that you would stay with them through a sex change?

Yes. This doesn't always happen, married or just dating, but it does more than you probably think.

Maybe will, I don't know.

eargosedown said:

I will be with anyone, so long as I truly love them and value our relationship.

Honestly, this is my view on said situation. I've never tried to value a relationship based on anything else other than "do I truly like/love that person?" If the answer is no then I don't worry about it. If I ended up meeting a transgender whom I truly fell in love with then there wouldn't be a second thought in my mind, despite what anyone would say. If you have the feelings, don't let society dictate how you "should" feel.

Grain of Salt said:

No, that's incredibly stupid.

Two people in love, irrespective of what organs they have or want to have, typically want to have sex with each other. If there's no sexual attraction it's not a romantic relationship.

My girflriend asked me out of curiosity if I'd stay with her even if she got a sex change. (it's not uncommon of her to come up with questions involving highly unlikely scenarios to test my love) With a bit of hesitation I said yes. Then as a curveball she said "Would you still have sex with me even though I was a man?" and I said no. "Then whos gonna fulfill your sexual desires?" I have no idea. I think after all that I'd be turned off from sex for a while. Then as a perk she said "that's okay if I turned into a man I'd let you cheat on me." Whaaaat? "I'd be physically taking my pussy away from you so I think it's only fair."

I was pretty bewildered about how that conversation went but the topic quickly changed before I sat there being awkward for the rest of the night.

Grain of Salt said:

So this is one of those happy occasions when my guesses about someone's opinions, based on a fragment of text, turn out to be 100% correct. My original reply stands, and I have nothing to add.

Why not make it interesting for the reader and explain why you think it's stupid to say that sex is an act engaged in between two people who fancy or love each other, instead of giving me some aloof response such as this.

Gotta love this thread. The people who said "yes" are labeled as open-minded, while the people who said "no" are labeled as dicks. Apparently only certain opinions and preferences are acceptable in the EE forum subsection. Ridiculous.

I have quite a few transgendered friends in various stages(pre-op, post-op, mid-op). And in addition(as you might guess), I have many friends who either date or are in partnerships with transgendered people. Even though I am a straight male in a relationship with a woman, I regularly patronize gay bars and private clubs which cater to fetishes and BDSM, and so do a number of my friends. My girlfriend and I visit these places and fully support the establishments as well as their clientele, many of whom are transgendered. Having said that, I don't think I'd date someone who was transgendered. Nothing against them obviously, but it's just not my preference. Kinda like how some people are attracted to certain ethnicities while others aren't. But I'm sure that somehow this preference equates me to a draconian troglodyte in the eyes of certain people on DW forums.

Grain of Salt said:

Most notably, there are people who are asexual but not aromantic, and this alone makes it beyond reasonable doubt that romantic attraction occurs outside of any sexual context.

I've had this discussion with people elsewhere in the past. My feelings are that asexuality is unnatural when you claim to be in love with someone nonetheless. Perhaps the way I worded my original response wasn't one my best efforts, but when someone says they fancy someone but aren't in it for the sex, I would suggest they just have mixed feelings about the other person. The fact that they are transgender is neither here nor there.

Grain of Salt said:

It's pointless to argue with someone who can project their opinions onto others as openly as that.

When you post intimate information on a public internet forum you're automatically inviting the opinion of some idiot like me to be projected openly upon you. You can hardly say I'm to be blamed for voicing an opinion and making an observation when it's given free roam in the first place. Since the majority of the Doomworld collective is American, I'm sure I don't have to lay out the concept of freedom of speech here.

Vordakk said:

Gotta love this thread. The people who said "yes" are labeled as open-minded, while the people who said "no" are labeled as dicks. Apparently only certain opinions and preferences are acceptable in the EE forum subsection. Ridiculous.

If you're talking about AndrewB's post I think that's more a reaction to "If you're not comfortable enough with yourself that you have to change, then how can I be comfortable around you?" which is kind of a shitty attitude. Not being interested in a lady who used to be a man is fine, as it can be as simple as a matter of taste, but PRIMEVAL's sounds like he's indirectly suggesting that people who aren't comfortable with the gender they are assigned can just learn to deal with it (I'll give him the benefit of the doubt and say that he probably didn't mean it that way).

eargosedown said:

I will be with anyone, so long as I truly love them and value our relationship.

Which would be exactly where the problem would start for me in this instance - if it is(/used to be) a man then I'll feel no physical attraction (as I've already gone through before) so I'd not see a close relationship as anything other than a friendship, so I'd never want to date them. Love for me is physical as well as a romantic mental state.

Creaphis said:

If it turned out that your current girlfriend/boyfriend/whatever suffered from gender dysphoria, would you stay with them during and after a sex change?

If no, can you imagine loving anyone enough that you would stay with them through a sex change?

As I've told one of my ex's that I'd dump her if she started smoking (she didn't start, so my attempt at preserving both of our health worked) I think I can safely say that anybody changing their gender on me mid-relationship would no longer be in a relationship with me. I'd still like the person an awful lot, so if they were really, definitely 101% certain that this huge, life-changing undertaking is exactly what they want to do then I would support them in that decision as best I can and be there for emotional support and all that, but the relationship would end the second they made that decision.

And yes I am aware that confronting them with this truth when they're already ready to go for the decision would mean that I'd presumably be the last person they'd want to talk to ever again, but I've had that over considerably less.

The fact is that the change would affect us both and I'm not prepared to change my sexual orientation just because they're prepared to change their gender.


However, I'm assuming I've already been labelled as "closed-minded" and "a dick" so those two questions presumably weren't aimed at me in the first place.