Michael Bay's Latest Mission: Ruin the Ninja Turtles

Teenage Mutant Alien Ninja Turtles doesn't have a good ring to it.

I'm kind of looking forward to it, actually. I'm immune to butthurt because:

1. The Turtles have had alien origin stories in the comics before, nevermind that most of the antagonists are aliens (or robotic products of alien tech) as well.

2. A lot of terrible TMNT content has been made before. TMNT3, The Next Mutation, and even the 2007 CGI film are some immediate examples. At worst, I expect it to be more enjoyable than those.

3. TMNT is kind of suited to be a Michael Bay film. Whatever he does will only compliment the Turtles because they've basically been brand-pushing action stars since the day they became popular.

The problem I have with that is the TMNT were never aliens. True, the mutagen had alien properties and one of the main villians was an alien (Krang) but... I had been hopeful it would be awesome, even a bit dark, but with Michael Bay attached to it, I doubt that will be the case. It will likely be yet another crappy TMNT movie featuring Zak Neutrino flying around in his space cadillac, half of the movie budget being spent on the Tetrodome exploding, Splinter dying (by explosion) and as a general rule, the characters having less depth than the many explosions that happen throughout the film.

EDIT: Actually, now that I think about it, TMNT was always really heavy on the explosions. I remember Baxter Stockman, Beebop and Rocksteady all exploding when defeated in the game Turtles In Time (which was an awesome game), so who knows...

Wasn't the Doom movie also guilty of this trope ("the monsters are aliens/the result of genetic meddling, rather than from Hell, therefore meddling with genetics is evil, leave that to God"), presumably to please creationists or some-such? Calling something "alien" is apparently less controversial and more "creationist" than claiming that they were mutated from humans/with human intervention. I wouldn't be surprised if that's the real reason for going with the aliens theme.

Here's Raphael's rant on this issue! Also, you have to agree with him:

I'd rather he make a Battletoads movie instead.

Ichor said:

I'd rather he make a Battletoads movie instead.

I'm still waiting for a Cheetahmen movie.

Maes said:

Is it being the first google result a good enough "excuse"? Not that I should apologize for not bothering to pass stuff through PC filters.

It was the first result because you specifically chose to use a dehumanizing, demeaning word as the search term. You are quite clearly racist.

Redstar said:

It was the first result because you specifically chose to use a dehumanizing, demeaning word as the search term. You are quite clearly racist.

Nope nigga, I just have N-word privileges because I don't live in the Anglosphere and so I dunno have a massive PC stick in mah ass, knowhaumsayin' muddafuckah?

Maes said:

NIGGER KING

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

I've got no problem with Michael Bay remaking old horror movies, but I really want him to leave my childhood alone. I've often thought about reinventing franchises but the turtles are one thing that shouldn't be messed with. Teenage MUTANTTTTTTTTTT Ninja Turtles.

I thought the last animated movie TMNT was on the right path for a new franchise.