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Eris Falling
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The 79th enemy in E1M2.

Old Post 03-02-13 11:27 #
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Kontra Kommando
Let's attack aggressively


Posts: 1554
Registered: 02-13



Mr. Freeze said:
What do you call a white woman with a yeast infection?

Cracker with cheese.



Q: What do you call a black girl with a yeast infection?

A: Moulignon Parmesan

Old Post 05-29-13 18:54 #
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Kontra Kommando
Let's attack aggressively


Posts: 1554
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Q: How did the redneck mother know her daughter was having her period?

A: Because her son's dick tasted funny.

Old Post 05-29-13 19:07 #
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Kontra Kommando
Let's attack aggressively


Posts: 1554
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A man walks into a bar and bets the bartender $100,000 that he could piss into a glass 10 feet away without spilling a drop.

The bartender accepts the bet, and the man proceeds to piss all over the bar, the floor, and even in the bartender’s face.

The bartender, who despite being covered with urine, gleefully declared, “Okay, now you owe me $100,000”.

The man walks over to another guy who gives him $500,000, and then gives the bartender the $100,000 he owed him.

The bartender then asked who the other guy was, and the man responded: “I bet that guy $500,000 that I could piss all over your bar, and in your face, and still have you smiling.”

Old Post 05-29-13 19:22 #
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Krispy
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Posts: 1196
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Why is a redneck murder so hard for cops to solve?




Because there are no dental records and all the DNA's the same.

Old Post 05-29-13 22:18 #
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jval
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Posts: 192
Registered: 09-05


Salesman: We have high quality and low prices. Which do you prefer?

Old Post 05-30-13 04:26 #
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Scypek2
Member


Posts: 600
Registered: 01-12


Once upon a time, a family of imps were eating breakfast. Suddenly, their little son asked:
- mommy, why was your bedroom door closed last evening?
- it's... - his mother stopped, puzzled.
- honey, we have to get it over with - said her husband quietly. - who else, at his age, still thinks that we're all being spawned?



(that's what I have in my head every time somebody interrupts a biology-esque thread saying that demons are supernatural, illogical etc. and there's no point in discussion)

Old Post 05-30-13 22:42 #
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Stroggos
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Posts: 181
Registered: 04-09


Q: What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm?
A:
Spoiler:
Rape.

Old Post 05-31-13 09:59 #
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Stroggos
Junior Member


Posts: 181
Registered: 04-09


Q: What do a dog and a child with leukaemia have in common?
A:
Spoiler:
They're both not going to see 15.

Old Post 05-31-13 10:08 #
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BaronOfStuff
Senior Member


Posts: 1413
Registered: 06-08


Hans Lipschis, 93, has been arrested in Germany on suspicion of having been a guard at Auschwitz during the Holocaust.

He admits to working there, but claims he was only a cook.

Spoiler:
I doubt that claiming to have been in charge of the ovens is going to help his defence much.

Old Post 05-31-13 10:23 #
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TheSpazztikOne
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Posts: 416
Registered: 07-11


How do you circumcise a redneck?

Kick his sister in the jaw.

Old Post 05-31-13 12:41 #
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Eris Falling
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Posts: 3099
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How do you stop a redneck?

Paint him blue.

Old Post 05-31-13 12:57 #
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BaronOfStuff
Senior Member


Posts: 1413
Registered: 06-08


Lisa has 750 friends on Facebook. A week later she adds 150 more to her friends list. What does she have?

Spoiler:
Huge tits.

Old Post 05-31-13 13:19 #
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Stroggos
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Posts: 181
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Doomworld: Fine and morally outstanding citizens of the internet.

Old Post 05-31-13 15:37 #
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Clonehunter
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Two russianish people join a marathon.


And they blow it up.

Old Post 05-31-13 16:48 #
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Technician
Still no custom title


Posts: 8142
Registered: 08-04



Clonehunter said:
Two russianish people join a marathon.


And they blow it up.

Some lines just shouldn't be crossed, Clonehunter.


Sometimes, even finish lines.

Old Post 05-31-13 17:37 #
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Kontra Kommando
Let's attack aggressively


Posts: 1554
Registered: 02-13


A little girl accidently walked in on her parents having sex, and asked what they were doing. The mother frantically reponded with, "oh no, leave the room quick, we're just trying to make you a suprise cake."

The next day, the mother finds the little girl licking the bed, and the mother asked what she was doing. The little girl answered, "I'm just licking the icing off the cake."

Old Post 05-31-13 18:58 #
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Clonehunter
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Technician said:
Some lines just shouldn't be crossed, Clonehunter.


Sometimes, even finish lines.



heh

Old Post 06-01-13 01:25 #
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mrthejoshmon
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Posts: 1677
Registered: 12-12


I would tell you a joke about the intestine, but you might not get it as it's an inside joke!

Two men walk into a bar, those stupid bastards!

Three men are on a plane, they fell off.

Those jokes are bad on purpose.

Old Post 06-01-13 13:33 #
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killer2
Member


Posts: 655
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mrthejoshmon said:
I would tell you a joke about the intestine, but you might not get it as it's an inside joke!

Two men walk into a bar, those stupid bastards!

Three men are on a plane, they fell off.

Those jokes are bad on purpose.



I got the first 3 ones, but I don't think I quite understand the fourth...

Old Post 06-01-13 18:02 #
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mrthejoshmon
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killer2 said:


I got the first 3 ones, but I don't think I quite understand the fourth...

It's sarcasm, the guy who told me them believed they were good.

Old Post 06-01-13 19:58 #
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scifista42
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Posts: 3020
Registered: 05-12



mrthejoshmon said:
I would tell you a joke about the intestine, but you might not get it as it's an inside joke!

Two men walk into a bar, those stupid bastards!

Three men are on a plane, they fell off.

Those jokes are bad on purpose.


To be honest, I didn't get any of them, until I read killer2's post, which changed my mind a bit and then I was able to get the first.

Nevermind. I'm no native English. Also I know I didn't miss much.

Old Post 06-01-13 21:50 #
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