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Linkrulezall
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Posts: 429
Registered: 05-12


I have to go outside and mow the lawn in 5 minutes and need a way to make it not boring. Please help.

Old Post May 11 2014 22:02 #
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purist
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Measure how much lawn you can mow in 10 minutes and then try to beat that record.

Old Post May 11 2014 22:05 #
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Canofbacon
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Put rockets on it and mow with super speed.

Old Post May 11 2014 22:07 #
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Seeker_of_Truth
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Posts: 349
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purist said:
Measure how much lawn you can mow in 10 minutes and then try to beat that record.

I've done something like this before. I usually passes the time for me because I'm trying to make a certain time.

Old Post May 11 2014 22:13 #
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Membrain
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Here, use this:

Old Post May 11 2014 22:15 #
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chungy
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It takes you five minutes to mow your lawn? Why are you even complaining?

Old Post May 11 2014 22:29 #
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Linkrulezall
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chungy said:
It takes you five minutes to mow your lawn? Why are you even complaining?

Ever since the jet thrusters on the mower broke it actually takes more like 45 now.

Old Post May 11 2014 22:38 #
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Caffeine Freak
black and shiny


Posts: 826
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Listening to my headphones always makes work a much more rewarding experience for me. Just keep 'em on the whole time, and keep pushing that mower, it makes it a less tedious experience.

Old Post May 11 2014 22:53 #
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Maes
Why don't I have a custom title by now?!


Posts: 13979
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If you have tree-hugger type neighbors, make sure that you're using an old, smokey, gas-guzzling chopper that rapes Mother Earth with incompletely combusted hydrocarbons and think of how much the tree huggers must "suffer" while you use it.

Old Post May 11 2014 23:02 #
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Technician
a little slice of /pol/


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My lawn is primarily moss and dandelions, so I may have to cut it three times a year.

Feels great!

Old Post May 11 2014 23:34 #
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geo
didn't know being a forum staple was a bad thing


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Landmines.... or just listen to music. Just music. Mow in small circle sections lawn circles.

Last edited by geo on May 12 2014 at 00:04

Old Post May 11 2014 23:44 #
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Quasar
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The patterns of grass/weeds (if not pefectly uniform) in your lawn are actually the borders of nations of tiny people. When you are mowing, you are like Godzilla razing all their buildings as they flee underground for protection.

*shrugs*

Old Post May 12 2014 00:03 #
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Ralphis
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Not everything in life is fun. This is a great lesson

Old Post May 12 2014 00:06 #
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GoatLord
I really should think before I post.


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Get stoned, enjoy the droning sounds and sun, jam some tunes on headphones.

Old Post May 12 2014 00:43 #
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TheCupboard
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Lawns are a waste of natural resources.

a) They reduce space for trees.
b) Reduce space for insect environments to thrive.
c) Waste water trying to keep them green when many other local plants would be better off with less maintenance.
d) Many fertilizers, insecticides, herbicides and other chemicals find their way into the food chain, greatly affecting higher order predators.
e) Mowing the lawn is a waste of fossil fuels.

Make a statement and find ways to reduce the amount of surface area devoted to growing grass.

Old Post May 12 2014 02:14 #
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Membrain
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While you are most certainly not wrong, (I couldn't agree more, in fact.) I get the feeling that there's some variety of external motivating factor at work here. Parents, probably. :P

Old Post May 12 2014 02:27 #
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Pure Hellspawn
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TheCupboard said:
Lawns are a waste of natural resources.

a) They reduce space for trees.
b) Reduce space for insect environments to thrive.
c) Waste water trying to keep them green when many other local plants would be better off with less maintenance.
d) Many fertilizers, insecticides, herbicides and other chemicals find their way into the food chain, greatly affecting higher order predators.
e) Mowing the lawn is a waste of fossil fuels.

Make a statement and find ways to reduce the amount of surface area devoted to growing grass.

If only I could work from home lol. I'd save like 2 hours worth of fuel a week. My cars a hybrid but still.

Soon, they'll find out a way for ME to run on electricity. Oh wait, I already do.

Old Post May 12 2014 02:30 #
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Clonehunter
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Posts: 4741
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TheCupboard said:
Lawns are a waste of potential development.

a) They reduce the space for inground pools.
b) Reduce space for dog houses.
c) Waste water trying to keep them green when you can simply lay concrete and not have to water anything at all.
d) Many fertilizers, insecticides, herbicides and other chemicals find their way into the ground, making it less safe for the workers who will be building the above and may file for lawsuits as a result.
e) Mowing the lawn is a waste of energy that can be spent watching TV.

Make a statement and find ways to develop your unused lawn.

ftfy

Old Post May 12 2014 02:33 #
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Nomad
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TheCupboard said:
Lawns are a waste of natural resources.

a) They reduce space for trees.
b) Reduce space for insect environments to thrive.
c) Waste water trying to keep them green when many other local plants would be better off with less maintenance.
d) Many fertilizers, insecticides, herbicides and other chemicals find their way into the food chain, greatly affecting higher order predators.
e) Mowing the lawn is a waste of fossil fuels.

Make a statement and find ways to reduce the amount of surface area devoted to growing grass.

This. Sabotage the lawn and convince the parental units to plant a vegetable garden instead.

Old Post May 12 2014 03:10 #
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vtm
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get a fake one, always green, never grows.

Old Post May 12 2014 04:12 #
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GreyGhost
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Mow a Pacman maze in the lawn, then spend the rest of the afternoon being chased around it by imaginary ghosts.

Old Post May 12 2014 04:34 #
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Captain Red
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Old Post May 12 2014 05:50 #
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GreyGhost
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I'd forgotten about the flying lawnmower - here's another. :)

Old Post May 12 2014 06:14 #
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Looper
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http://dagobah.net/flash/lawnmower.swf

Old Post May 12 2014 06:48 #
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joe-ilya
I once dreamt of a humanic penetration interaction


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Eat it.

__________________
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Old Post May 12 2014 06:54 #
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fraggle
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Listen to something with headphones, but not music. Listen to something interesting: could be an audiobook, or maybe a radio show or a debate. Give yourself something to think about while you're doing something mundane.

Old Post May 12 2014 07:03 #
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Philnemba
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When I use mow my grass before me and my wife moved into an apartment, I use to hum various video game music that I know from the top of my head.

Old Post May 12 2014 07:45 #
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Waffenak
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For me listening music while moving the lawn always does the trick

Old Post May 12 2014 08:38 #
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Maes
Why don't I have a custom title by now?!


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Just get some local shepherd to get his goats/sheeps to go all KEKEKEKEKE ZERG RUSH on your lawn.

Old Post May 12 2014 10:11 #
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MajorRawne
Senior Member


Posts: 1512
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Dangle your penis in front of the mower, a bit like leading a pig with a carrot on a stick. It's highly exciting. "Will this be the day I chop my winkle off?" You do need quite a gargantuan penis, not a problem for me (as many broken and weeping women will attest), but I get the impression everyone else here has little ones like toothpicks with an olive on the end. ;)

BA-DUN-TUSH!

Old Post May 12 2014 10:28 #
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