Is every game movie dogshit?

I generally don't like the lightened tone; I want Postal to be dark, they've been slowly abandoning that ever since the first game, and the movie/3rd game is when that transition from black humor to juvenile slapstick completed.

Ha, it never even hit me Postal could be seen as dark. Perhaps player agency is a problem with video game adaptations. The more freedom you have, the more different experiences players will have. No one movie can account for all possibilities.

Since no one has mentioned it yet, the Double Dragon movie is so bad it's... well, still bad, but enjoyably so. In short bursts.

Trivia about the Mario movie: there was supposed to be a sequel, but it did so poorly that that idea was scrapped immediately.

Also, what about games based on movies based on games? There's Street Fighter, a Double Dragon one.. any others?

Silent Hill was aight. I've never played the games, but I watched my friend play one or two of them extensively, so by the time the film came out, I was moderately familiar with the setting. It captured the look and feel perfectly, and even used music from the game. The monsters that appeared really seemed very close to their digital counterparts. It's unfortunate that the plot was completely disengaging, and the whole "evil religious bitch controlling the ignorant masses" thing in the second half of the film was super contrived. It's a case of a video game movie almost perfectly capturing important aesthetics and elements, but completely failing to imagine a compelling story.

I actually liked the first silent hill movie. But other than that, the lion's share of video game movies are terrible. However, I did think Mortal Kombat was good for a campy 90s action movie.

Phml said:

Ha, it never even hit me Postal could be seen as dark. Perhaps player agency is a problem with video game adaptations. The more freedom you have, the more different experiences players will have. No one movie can account for all possibilities.

I take it you've never seen what the first game is like? Here's a small sample:

http://imgur.com/JS2QU5a,h7bJwsw,pCAzFw8,hHsx2lt,lB6oosb

Isn't it ironic that AAA game devs are constantly rolling out the 'games and movies are so close' crap yet the film makers can't seem to broach that 'closeness' and turn the game source material into a decent film?

PS: Except Mortal Kombat. That film's great! And the FPS part of the Doom movie was an unforgettable cinema experience for me (perhaps not all for the right reasons though!).

Most of them. I liked the first 2 Resident Evil movies, although I'll admit they weren't the best things to hit the big screen. Doom was okay at best. The Mortal Kombat movies were really good.

Max Payne was horrible however. I remember seeing that with my friends and I was the only one who didn't like it. Easily one of the worst movies I have ever seen.

plums said:

Since no one has mentioned it yet, the Double Dragon movie is so bad it's... well, still bad, but enjoyably so. In short bursts.

Trivia about the Mario movie: there was supposed to be a sequel, but it did so poorly that that idea was scrapped immediately.

Also, what about games based on movies based on games? There's Street Fighter, a Double Dragon one.. any others?

Yeah I remember that movie and Abobo. Alyssa Milano with short blonde hair.

Sodaholic said:

I take it you've never seen what the first game is like? Here's a small sample:

http://imgur.com/JS2QU5a,h7bJwsw,pCAzFw8,hHsx2lt,lB6oosb

Please, the loading screens were the darkest thing about it. The actual gameplay was batshit hilarious with does of insanity under the fact you were shooting up anything from retirement homes to supermarkets. You were shooting up towns that had been destroyed by meteor showers that still had parading marching bands for some reason.


And I just realized, I had that game from a HumbleBundle, DRM free... I don't think I have it anymore because the computer it was on burned out and I lost the link. I'm kinda sad now.

Average said:

Isn't it ironic that AAA game devs are constantly rolling out the 'games and movies are so close' crap yet the film makers can't seem to broach that 'closeness' and turn the game source material into a decent film?

I suspect that most filmmaker who direct a game movie have this misguided idea that, because the source material isn't a novel or a previously existing film, that a game based movie must exhibit some abstract "otherness" to it, because, you know, it's based on a game.

I forget who said it - but someone said recently that you can't approach these things as "a movie based on a game" but rather "a movie based on a story, which a game is also based on".

Not sure if this is true, but I heard Metal Gear Solid (Playstation) was originally supposed to be a movie. I'm glad it wasn't, and became one of the best games ever instead.

Bucket said:

I forget who said it - but someone said recently that you can't approach these things as "a movie based on a game" but rather "a movie based on a story, which a game is also based on".

^More directors need to live by this sentiment.

Average said:

Isn't it ironic that AAA game devs are constantly rolling out the 'games and movies are so close' crap yet the film makers can't seem to broach that 'closeness' and turn the game source material into a decent film?

This has annoyed the shit out of me for a while now - but then again, most AAA titles with "great storylines" are usually lackluster games with stories that are done to death. (Thinking of Halo and CoD here, I get tired of the constant praise for the "great" storylines they feature... Spare me.)

The average GTA storyline is actually some of the best video game cinematography (is that what it's called?) of the modern generation.

Oh, and the Ghostbusters game - does that really count as a movie game when the story of the game doesn't actually follow the story of the movies? I mean, it builds on the movies so I guess it does, but either way, that game was hella awesome.

Which GB game are you talking about, geekmarine? I have the NES one and man, that is a piece of shit, but I assume that's not the one you're talking about!

Also, Doom cops a lot of flak, but if the demons were from hell and the armor/weapons actually looked like the ones we all know and love, it would have been an excellent videogame B-movie. As it is I'd still probably be generous enough to give it 3 stars, I've watched it twice in my life (once about a decade ago, and once last year) and honestly I was surprised by how "not completely terrible" it is, all things considered.

If they do make another, I really hope the Doomguy knocking out his superior officer - who was probably freshly posessed, or something - will be a scene in the film. How did they miss that opportunity for mindless violent action? That's what we're all there for!

The Resident Evil movies were complete dog shit and very disappointing to me since I played the crap out of 1, 2 and 3 whilst young. Now the animated RE movies were actually good, miles better than those bs mainstream dumbass, full of super power movies. Rant over.

Doomkid, I'm talking about the one that came out for PC and consoles in 2009. I certainly wasn't talking about the NES one, dear God. No, the recent one was actually really good. But yeah, since the game technically takes place after Ghostbusters 2, I just don't know whether to count it as a movie game or not.

The only game movie I recall being any good, aside from the first MK, is Silent Hill.

Maes said:

Postal: The Movie is a great movie based on a great game.

I don't think I'd say the movie was great, but it wasn't quite as terrible as most Uwe Boll fare. I appreciated that he poked fun at himself in it.

Has anyone seen the Super Mario Bros. anime movie from 1986? I thought it was actually pretty decent aside from a few issues here and there such as the Bros. working at a grocery store instead of being plumbers, Luigi's color scheme and the ending.

IMO it was much better than the 1993 live action flick. There's subbed versions of it on YouTube. Kind of a shame it was never dubbed and released outside of Japan.

Also, while it was technically not a movie, the 1996 Sonic OVA was really good too.

I heard there was some show about Sonic from the 90s that was pretty good, and it aired alongside another Sonic show which was shit. I think NostalgiaCricket reviewed it.

Also, I do believe there were plans for a MGS film, but it was dropped after SMB flopped. THen they started talking about the film again, in which case Uwe Boll wanted to jump on, and the project was canned faster than the first time. Now they're talking about another one.

Also, anyone see Need for Speed film yet? And there's the new Ratchet film too.

Patch93 said:

Has anyone seen the Super Mario Bros. anime movie from 1986? I thought it was actually pretty decent aside from a few issues here and there such as the Bros. working at a grocery store instead of being plumbers, Luigi's color scheme and the ending.

It had a lot of flaws - Bowser's voice sucks ass. That said, it's much better than the "real" Mario cartoons we got in the US. They could remake it these days with all the minor flaws ironed out and I'm sure lots of kids and adults would buy it and enjoy it.

Yeah, there were two Sonic cartoons in the early 90s - one is often referred to as Sonic SatAM to differentiate it from the other. That one - Sonic SatAM - was actually very good, fleshing out the world, characters, etc. and actually telling an engaging story. The other one, the one not called Sonic SatAM, was more like a Looney Tunes cartoon - paper-thin plot that was just an excuse for a bunch of slapstick gags.

It's actually kinda interesting - they took what was essentially no plot at all, and actually made something with it, telling interesting stories without completely crapping all over what Sonic was about.

The Sat-AM Sonic was good, but is difficult to appreciate as an adult. There's a lot of silly, unrefined dialogue, clumsy attempts at humor and of course, Sonic's oh-so-90s "cool factor." Granted, it was a kid's show, but it hasn't aged as gracefully as I had hoped. Excellent kid's show though, and surprisingly dark.

Flesh420 said:

The Resident Evil movies were complete dog shit and very disappointing to me since I played the crap out of 1, 2 and 3 whilst young. Now the animated RE movies were actually good, miles better than those bs mainstream dumbass, full of super power movies. Rant over.

The worst thing about it is that the newer Resident Evil games try to mimic the movies now with brainless action, and it's a wonder why they flop so badly.

Clonehunter said:

I heard there was some show about Sonic from the 90s that was pretty good, and it aired alongside another Sonic show which was shit. I think NostalgiaCricket reviewed it.

Also, I do believe there were plans for a MGS film, but it was dropped after SMB flopped. THen they started talking about the film again, in which case Uwe Boll wanted to jump on, and the project was canned faster than the first time. Now they're talking about another one.

Also, anyone see Need for Speed film yet? And there's the new Ratchet film too.

Yeah the good one had Steve Urkle as the voice. There was supposed to be a fan movie with Steve as the voice as well. The shitty cartoon show even got its own game.

Is Need for Speed about the game?

The Zelda cartoon was pretty awesome. I even rewatched it 4 years ago and it was still good. Unlike the Super Mario Super show. Wow that is shit watching it now. Back then it was better in my mind, but kidz grow up.

Moronic and overly-analytical wall of text incoming


On the subject of movie adaptations of games and Sonic, the Japanese OVA (later released in the west with all episodes merged together as "Sonic the Movie") was pretty much perfect. It helps a lot that the original devs (particularly Naoto Oshima) had tight control over the content and tone. It's so much closer to the games in every way.

Sonic isn't a douchebag like in post-Adventure, is generally laid back and low-profile but is quick to irritation if anything bothers him. Knuckles isn't portrayed as slow/stupid, he was naive in Sonic 3 (for good reason, he never met outsiders before in his life), but that says nothing about intelligence. Tails can actually handle himself, being of some actual use than as a useless meatsack that constantly must be rescued as in the first two American TV series.

The movie is soaking with atmosphere. Really cool and efficient looking floating cities bathed in sunlight, forested wastelands, what is clearly post-apocalyptic New York City devoid of life except for vines and other intrusive vegetation, and so on. The electronic music complements it very much and is perfectly fitting for what Sonic should be*, it sounds just like the Sonic CD soundtrack (not the butchered muzak one, but rather the one the game was actually designed for).

It's not stupid and slapstick, nor is it overly dark. It's entirely self-aware and doesn't take itself more seriously than what it's worth** yet doesn't put itself down, either. I guess what I'm trying to say is that its tone is rather mature (by Sonic standards) and can be enjoyed and appreciated by a diverse audience.

The rest of the franchise seems to suffer from limited writing narrowing the appreciative audience to juvenile and/or sophomoric audiences. See overly lighthearted and politically correct childishness that only really appeals to 4-12 year olds (AoSTH), or, god forbid, gothic early teens who just discovered that they can act all "rebelious", looking like a ponce while thinking they look cool, adult and mature when in reality it's just the opposite (SatAM, Sonic Adventure 2, Shadow the Hedgehog, Sonic 06, etc.).


*Naoto's version of the original universe.
**Sonic Adventure 2 and especially Sonic 06's writing takes itself far too seriously.

geekmarine said:

Yeah, there were two Sonic cartoons in the early 90s - one is often referred to as Sonic SatAM to differentiate it from the other. That one - Sonic SatAM - was actually very good, fleshing out the world, characters, etc. and actually telling an engaging story. The other one, the one not called Sonic SatAM, was more like a Looney Tunes cartoon - paper-thin plot that was just an excuse for a bunch of slapstick gags.

These days, I think of both shows for what you mentioned above and the inverse.

SatAM took itself too seriously and hasn't aged well. At least in season 1, they reduced Tails to an absolutely useless waste of screentime that contributed near-nothing to the plot. The loosely related Archie comic was even worse (especially later on). Ken Penders is generally to blame for turning things into his own poorly-written grimdark furfag fanfic entirely lacking any and all self-awareness. His work and tone serves as a basis and inspiration for typical cancerous fanfics, just see Sonichu (though just like Penders, something was deeply wrong with Chandler as a person to produce such sick content).

On the other side of the coin, there are advantages to the "stupid" show as well. While I don't like the juvenile slapstick tone or that they again turned Tails into a waste of screentime, it at least doesn't take itself seriously and feels closer to the games in having proper badniks (not fucking stormtroopers like SatAM), Robotnik is closer to his game counterpart's personality and is genuinely funny at times thanks to his late but talented VA, and the protaganists just freely wander diverse environments instead of cowering and hiding in fear in some sort of stupid eco-terrorist camp.

In any case, I dislike both shows. It's best to be intoxicated to be able to merely tolerate either show, and you're better off watching something else if it comes to that.

geo said:

Yeah the good one had Steve Urkle as the voice.

Actually, there were three shows with Urkel. Underground, the third show nobody has mentioned yet in this thread, is the truly shit one.

geo said:

There was supposed to be a fan movie with Steve as the voice as well.

Oh god, is that the one made by that creepy diaper fetishist or whatever he was that only managed to pinch an incredibly stupid preview trailer?

geo said:

The shitty cartoon show even got its own game.

Which one is the "shitty show"? Spinball was somewhat heavily influenced by SatAM, and Mean Bean Machine was actually just Puyo-Puyo reskinned to be themed after AoSTH.

I've enjoyed Postal: The Movie (in a "hey, this is just like the game!" way); thought Doom was alright, with a great first-person bit; liked Silent Hill (never played the games); really enjoyed Mortal Kombat; really liked Need for Speed and found the first couple of Resident Evil films ok. All the others I've watched have ranged from "meth" to flat out bad. As far as I'm concerned, it's all about them delivering what you turned up for. I wanted high-powered exotic cars doing ridiculously dangerous racing in Need for Speed and they gave me that in spades, plus an OK plot and some good humorous moments. In Doom they delivered the action and references but screwed the setting ("plot" is too generous) with the monster origin story.

I think a good property to make a film out of has to have an open setting that you can base a story in without messing with the game OR needs to have a strong enough story that you can just retell it. Personally I like the idea of getting something like Bioshock and showing a story of how life was there before the game, or showing a random slice of Garret's career outside of the Thief games. The Warcraft movie looks like it might be taking this approach, which might be cool.

Sodaholic said:

[i]Which one is the "shitty show"? Spinball was somewhat heavily influenced by SatAM, and Mean Bean Machine was actually just Puyo-Puyo reskinned to be themed after AoSTH.

Sonic SatAm had it's own game in the works but was shit-canned.

I really don't understand why people think any of the Sonic cartoons were good, they were just complete and utter garbage in my eyes, I could even go as far as to say that the first Mario cartoon was much less shitty and annoying than them, however the next two Mario cartoons would be equally as bad as the Sonic cartoons though

I'm surprised that there are no duke nukem movies yet, Mick Bay could easily make a film out of that.

I'm thinking Dolph Lundgren to play him, as Arnie is over the hill now... Anybody got Bay's number? We're on to something here!

I watched the Sonic OVA cartoon once and only once. That was enough. It was pretty terrible the whole way through. I mean, tons better than the slapstick syndicated series, but hardly appreciable past the juvenile years. Very forgettable.