Your Last Game Story

I started playing Deus Ex a few days ago. Today I got to the MJ12/Versalife lab in Hong Kong. I stunned all the MiBs, so I get their stuff, and then killed all the MJ12 soldiers and scientists, except the few lab assistants who didn't turn hostile.

Then I release the madman and the greasels.. and the greasels are so happy about getting released from their prison, they turn neutral toward me and start eating the dead scientists. Then I feed all the dead and unconscious to them. Too bad I couldn't get them greasels as my sidekicks.

I've flushed every toilet, hacked every ATM and stolen all the money everywhere so far.

I stunned Maggie Chow and her assistant and then threw them out of the window. Somehow they both survived the fall. But if I jumped out of the window, I exploded. I also destroyed all their furniture and stepped over their cat, and let the junkie living in the garage get access to the house.

I was also showing my dance moves to the girls at the lucky money club, and spilled my coffee all over my floor.

Jimi said:

Then I release the madman and the greasels.. and the greasels are so happy about getting released from their prison, they turn neutral toward me and start eating the dead scientists. Then I feed all the dead and unconscious to them. Too bad I couldn't get them greasels as my sidekicks.

I am totally doing that when I get there.

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I recently purchased Far Cry 3: Blood Dragon.

One of the best purchases of my gaming life, the game is absolutely brilliant so far.

There is something so entertaining about rigging a car with C400 and then ghost riding it into a fortress to watch the shrapnel fly.

mrthejoshmon said:

I am totally doing that when I get there.

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I recently purchased Far Cry 3: Blood Dragon.

One of the best purchases of my gaming life, the game is absolutely brilliant so far.

There is something so entertaining about rigging a car with C400 and then ghost riding it into a fortress to watch the shrapnel fly.

I own Blood Dragon on PS3 and PC. I played the PS3 version and just couldn't get into it, but I find that I can't get into a game until I hit 3 hours. Then my mind has been trained.

I've got more game stories. After the horse boss of Shadow Warrior, I felt bad for killing it. The giant dude was just trying to shut a gate the entire time. Here I was killing him. Jeebus what is my problem? Its the only time that I felt bad for killing something or someone in a game. Maybe it was seeing the boss struggle.

After playing through Ghostbusters: The Video Game, I feel like I don't have my own story. Just the game's own story. The only real somewhat story that I have was derping around using the slime tether. I was lost in a section, so I started thinking oh this must be a puzzle! Then I tethered slme, to barrels through barricades hoping the slime would shoot the barrels through the barricades. Nope.

Playing pub MVM expert on TF2 has gotten awful lately with Valve handing out free Tour of Duty tickets. However, there are now at least full servers. I've been trying to teach 0 tour players how to succeed, but in the end, people do what they want. Try to teach them how to bottleneck, nope they stand wherever and enemies run by with the bomb.

To balance that out, I managed to fall into a group with a 100 tour and we managed to carry the 4 0 tours. We went through two entire missions with only a lost wave or two. It was surprising. Normally 3 great players can carry 3, but rarely 2 can carry 4.

My last game was "Tom Clancy's Splinter Cell : Conviction" ,less stealthy then any previous Splinter cell game i ever played but a better storyline,the Fast excution (However it's earned by manual execution) just sucks ,The game that was meant to be a stealth game was ruined with that little shit,eventhough it's better then the latest one which is blacklist as most of people are saying, i feel like i'm just going straight forward and killing, however i still like it's unique execution and interrogation systems :),intelligent NPCs are nicely done =3 they notice broken Doors,windows,lights and may notice you if you're not hiding in shadows, and i love how the storyline goes the way you want (There are separate endings) ....

I played Warhammer 40,000: Armageddon, which is a rather exciting and easy-to-enjoy game with a furious difficulty curve. I captured an Ork Warboss and had to transport him through a mountain pass so the Commissariat could "interrogate" him.

Unfortunately, there was an entire Ork Clan between me and safety. the first time, I tried to negotiate the mountains, taking a circuitous route to avoid a packed centre area with Ork Nobz holding several buildings. There were tons of Orks and Gretchin, backed up by tanks and artillery. I got mobbed and slaughtered. OOPS!

The second time I grouped my force in the centre and hammered my way through the centre of the map with a tank battalion on my arse. I actually got right to the end of the map when the Gorgon transporting the Warboss got blown to shit. OOPS! Maybe I shouldn't have sent it in first ;)

Funny how it takes three Leman Russ detachments to kill a single Grot Tank detachment. The Orks are miles harder than in Final Liberation, if you encounter a whole Clan you might as well switch off and read Horus Heresy fiction.

geo said:

Playing pub MVM expert on TF2 has gotten awful lately with Valve handing out free Tour of Duty tickets. However, there are now at least full servers. I've been trying to teach 0 tour players how to succeed, but in the end, people do what they want. Try to teach them how to bottleneck, nope they stand wherever and enemies run by with the bomb.

This has been difficult. Had a truly awful Engie last time I played a few days ago, and God what a nightmare. He upgraded the wrong shit and never knew where to put his stuff. Basically he upgrades his shotgun and nothing else.


On TF2, I don't remember if I shared this story, because I think I started to type it out but never finished it. Was playing ctf_turbine on TF2 as the Spy when I came down the stairs to confront a Pyro, Demo, Soldier attack. Soldier shoots the ground behind me, launching me straight at them. I just kind of knife uselessly, but having been forcefully thrown into the Demoman I facestab him in mid-air, and then I get burned by the pyro. I found it hilarious, really.

Clonehunter said:

upgrades his shotgun

Unless it's the rescue ranger, which is actually kind of useful, I'd say votekick for that alone :P
I miss TF2, particularly MvM, shame it's seconds-per-frame level unplayable for me.

Clonehunter said:

This has been difficult. Had a truly awful Engie last time I played a few days ago, and God what a nightmare. He upgraded the wrong shit and never knew where to put his stuff. Basically he upgrades his shotgun and nothing else.


On TF2, I don't remember if I shared this story, because I think I started to type it out but never finished it. Was playing ctf_turbine on TF2 as the Spy when I came down the stairs to confront a Pyro, Demo, Soldier attack. Soldier shoots the ground behind me, launching me straight at them. I just kind of knife uselessly, but having been forcefully thrown into the Demoman I facestab him in mid-air, and then I get burned by the pyro. I found it hilarious, really.

I'm usually engi. Like 4/5 times. I try to be demo if I'm playing with rookies. Gotta get the experience somehow. What I laugh about is when people don't feel I'm a good engi, because they're too unseasoned to know better. So I let them be engis and watch the team get rolled.

Unseasoned players sometimes say fuck the 'metagame.' As soon as someone calls it a metagame, they've already lost.

The airstabs are always awesome. The rare times I play as spy, I just drop down onto people and stab them. Engis working on things, jump on the engi to stab them.

If the frame rate is awful, time to dumb down your visuals. If its still awful, it might be the server itself.

I loved playing as a rambo medic in ETQW "Quake Wars", shame the game died quite quickly due to TF2.

Another tale from World of Tanks.

Assault battle on Karelia, defending side. Allied E25 rushes off to the enemy spawn and gets the shit blasted out of him within moments of the match starting, then goes into a spastic rant about the rest of us being noobs because we weren't supporting him.

Sadly this sort of moronic behaviour is all too common.

BaronOfStuff said:

Sadly this sort of moronic behaviour is all too common.

Not only is it common; it is the norm, which is really sad.

Free to play is a cesspool. I've never played World of Tanks, but well you can judge by who you don't let in.

World of Tanks? World of taking a Matilda or an artillery tractor against a Tiger, more like. I love being the underdog, but not when I get a single shot which bounces off my opponent while they blow me to pieces in one hit from miles away. Now I know how the Americans must have felt when they arrived in Africa.

MajorRawne said:

World of Tanks? World of taking a Matilda or an artillery tractor against a Tiger, more like.

Well you must be to blame there by platooning with someone using at least a Tier V vehicle; standard matchmaking won't let your Tier IV Matilda encounter a Tier VII Tiger!

I won't argue that the matchmaking is flawed in other ways, though. In particular the frustrating tendency for battles to be 'top heavy' with lower-tier vehicles being nothing more than two or three pinatas for seven or eight upper-tier vehicles to one-shot.

Well I played Far Cry 3: Blood Dragon with far better results this time. It was a lot of silly fun with a lot of glsitches. The first silly fun was the fact I needed to get from point A to point B on the map, so I took a jeep. Simple enough. Well I don't like following roads. I just like to go in a straight line so I don't have to go weaving around a map that I don't know about and probably won't care about when I'm done with the game. Well I drove through a bush and got stuck. I figured, oh it must be a bunch of rocks that I'm stuck against. Couldn't drive forward, couldn't drive backward. So then I got out of the jeep.... then fell to the ground. Turns out I was stuck in a tree perfectly. That wasn't a bush, it was a cliff that I had driven off of.

Later on as I was clearing out a compound, I was snagged on the game's many staircases. For whatever reason, normal walking up staircases always stops me. I need to jump over the first stair before I can walk up stairs. It doesn't matter what staircase it is. Its an amazing bug. Well one time I jumped and instead of jumping, it dropped me straight through the floor! I always thought that when you enter a compound the game puts away the exterior world and opens up an interior map level. Nope. Everything is always loaded. I saw the compound and the world as I fell through space. It was difficult to look up, the camera wanted to face down.... probably in sadness of glitching so bad. Marlow Briggs and the Mask of Death had done that to me too.

Next up, the game ran out of ideas for main missions, so it threw me in some kind of horde mode. Lucky for me they gave me one super charged weapon at a time and had me killing zombie scientists. What's a game without zombies? Yeah I don't know. The game liked to laugh at itself constantly calling them "Running Dead." Yeah I get it. I didn't need to hear it a dozen times. Anyway, in between shotgunning off zombie heads and explosive sniper rifling them.... I found a turtle. An adorable turtle just in the path. He ducked his head in, but I waited for him to poke out again. Amongst all the senseless violence, there's still a bit of humanity in me.

I really warmed up to the game in the final hour. Of course it has to end when it got good. It kicked off with a comical training montage. Nothing like a cybernetic commando training his robot arm. Then it was followed by a hilarious love scene of a cybernetic arm finger walking its way up a naked back. It was all gold when I thought the game's comedy was awful.

Then after getting to mow down enemies with my arm laser, I had a lot of fun riding a dragon with a battle chair on it. Complete with kitten talk from the dragon. Every silly Internet cat meme was pulled out of the bag for that one last hurrah. Followed by a cut scene instead of a boss fight.

I was happy with no boss fight, since the previous boss fight of two blood dragons was awful and long. I needed to wait until they posture up to shoot them in the heart. Well when they posture up that's because they're going to shoot lasers. It was a very small window of time. Then when the first one was dead, the antagonist flooded the room with soldiers. Well flooding the room with soldiers just makes it easy for me, because the dragon gets distracted trying to eat them.

I was finally able to beat that harpy island in Serious Sam without taking a hit, except for one unlucky/lucky rocket exploded right on my face, which killed all those invisible monsters. Then I just circled the island and machinegunned all the harpies. This was also my first try on it in this current playthrough. Serious skill!

I beat the marshhopper room in the next level on 2nd try. This room has usually caused me a lot of deaths too.

My roommate and I were playing Resident Evil 5 earlier today. A lot of people despised its focus on combat, which is funny because I was never impressed by either RE's puzzles or the story, so I preferred the focus being on action. The game is surprisingly fun, despite the astonishing lack of strafing or moving while aiming/reloading.

We decided to play Gears Of War 3's "Beast Mode" on the hardest difficulty.

One of us were a Kantus (Medic) and I was a Boomer (Big grenade launcher fat bastard) whilst the other was a ticker (Little bastard suicide unit). The strategy we had worked very effectively and we actually pulled the thing off. I would down multiple enemies and the ticker would self destruct on them (whilst the Kantus healed me). The worst part however was when a silverback (Walking chaingun and rocket unit) wandered into spawn and camped there.

That sucked.

I became thane in all of the holds of Skyrim. But decided to go into early retirement, when broken mods destroyed the world. Some of the housecarls, and mercenaries decided to go on sit-in strike, and became indignant, apparently. Might as well continue to role-play, even with this shitty situation.

Having multiple followers ruined my game. I had EFF, and one of my followers would not leave from my side, after I dismissed her. So I said, fine I could live with that. So I uninstalled EFF, and installed UFO. Seemed to work fine with the exception of the prior follower. She eventually went home, but became unable to follow there after. Then the same issue happened with another NPC follower. At that point, I said "fuck this game", and quit to desktop. I should be focusing on my projects anyway.

Having multiple NPCs following kinda sucks anyway. It breaks the balance of the game. Moreover, they crowd you when you're trying to navigate through narrow corridors. Though I would say, have two NPC was a sweet spot, when you play on Master or Legendary difficulty.

I played Batman NES for the first time in two decades. Breezed through it. NES hard! Its weird how many hard games that I can breeze through. It makes me want to try other old games to see how tough they are. Maybe its just me and I spend too much time gaming vs the average youtuber that complains about hard games.

Then I played Volt and it quickly got impossibly tough and just not fun due to how awful the cut the rope mechanics are on a mouse and keyboard. Not to mention the poor level design with physics.

When I played Evolve on someone's PS4 it was shit. 20 minutes would go by without a firefight. Why? Human players learn to run. My friend said oh its just that play style. Well 5 hours into the game and I had around 15 - 25 fire fights. I was just so bored, but my friend demanded to play it. Funny when someone demands you play a game and won't play it themselves. Wow what a fun game to watch someone else play! Its just a mechanic that denies you fun.

After that, it was onto AirMech a dual stick MOBA. It was awesome until I played against humans and it turned into the same MOBA bullshit that it always is. Each game took 2 hours and I was bored to tears after 20 minutes. It was just a dull struggle. Yet it was so fun against non human AI. Maybe because its programmed to lose while humans are programmed to have bullshit tactics that work like 2 dozen rocket launchers, then slowly bring the back rocket launchers to the front and slowly inch your way closer. The sad part is long after I had mentally given up, my human partner wouldn't fail so the match just kept going and going. I felt like wow I got shit to do. How do people just sit for 2 hours in some intense tug of war? Then I realized. Money tournaments.

Played some Dead Space. Repeat tapped the "breadcrumbs" in front of the first door. Kendra looks at me mouth open.

I get to the Bridge. The big monster at the bottom throws me into a wall. I get stuck there, nothing seems to be happening, except the life bar just drains until I die, then I finally fall off from the wall. And I had full health...

I'm at the Hydroponics. There's a monster in front of a door. I launch a force grenade on it. Then start throwing some big block at it. Eventually the big block flies into some unreachable place and the monster isn't dead yet. I thought I'll let it come close and then finish it off with the force blast. It charges forward, I blast it 5 times with the force, but no effect. It looked like it was just going to charge and ignore me. So I thought I'll also ignore it, but then suddenly it grabs me.

Still at the Hydroponics, now facing the boss monster. It swings a tentacle. I dodge the first swing. The second swing hits somewhere near me. Game freezes for 10 seconds. Game unfreezes, the tentacle is gone away and I've lost half my health.

This game seems to be only able to damage me with bugs and glitches.