Liam
the Bard formerly known as the Bard
Posts: 3927
Registered: 08-00 |
Alex: Hello folks, I'm Alex TreBard, and this is the second week of...
<crowd yells along>DOOMWORLD JEOPARDY</crowd yells along>
Alex: Let's meet our contestants..
Alex: First... X-DOOM! X-DOOM, what do you do?
X-DOOM: I great doomer in the deathmatch. You beat me in a deathmatch? I thinks not.
Alex: Ok... well, our next contestant... Dima! Dima, what do you do?
Dima: I run a secret PC game espionage agency. My spies break into company computers and leak information on much-awaited games.
Alex: Wow, must be hard work...
Dima: It's VERY hard work, and all these fucking ass suckers UNDERAPPRECIATE me for it! Fucking morons!
Alex: Well I'm sure it can't be-
Dima: I give them accurate secret info on the game that they're all looking forward to the most and they LAUGH ALONG to some stupid idiot game these fucking admins play with me! Fucking assholes!
Alex: Dima, we have to move alo-
Dima: That website means so much to me and the admins just play banning games with me! *sob*
Alex: Ooookey dokey... well our reigning champion, Mordeth, has suffered critical injury from a bunch of Warez site webmasters when he attempted to break into their headquarters to stop a warez smuggle. So, we have a replacement player tonight... say hello to bigbadgangsta!
Bigbadgansta: Hey!
Alex: What do you do, Bigbad?
Bigbadgangsta: I get mad se><0r.
Alex: Sounds... interesting.
Bigbadgangsta: Yeah. I just had se><0r the other day, 8/28/01, 8:21 PM...
Alex: Wonderous. Now let's start the game, shall we? The categories are...
THE FOCUS, HERETIC, FAMOUS MODS AND TCS, JOHN ROMERO, DOOMWORLD FORUM PERSONALITES, and DOOM DEMON RHYME TIME.
Alex: Bigbad, please pick a category.
Bigbadgangsta: Heretic for 300.
THIS IS THE NAME OF A LARGE
"GREY HEAD" MONSTER WITH
MULTIPLE ATTACKS, INCLUDING
A TORNADO AND FIREBALLS
*ring*
Alex: X-DOOM?
X-DOOM: Whats are Ironlich
Alex: ... it's what is Ironlich.
X-DOOM: Know I. Thats whats I said.
Alex: Well I suppose it's right anyway. X-DOOM, pick the next catergory.
X-DOOM: Take forums personalitys for 400
THIS DW FORUM PERSONALITY
IS FAMOUS FOR THE PHRASE,
"CHRIST IN A DUMPTRUCK".
*ring*
Alex: Bigbadgangsta?
*ring ring ring*
Bigbadgangsta: Mmmh... oh... yes... ohohohhh...
*ring ring*
Alex: Bigbad, what are you *ring* doing to that *ring ring* button?
*ring*
Bigbadgangsta: *ring* Ohhohoo... what? I'm-*ring* ohhh...- getting mad-OHHH YES *ring ring ring*-se><0r from the *ring* button.... OH!
Alex: Well stop and answer the question!
Bigbadgangsta: OHHHH... ohh... what? Oh, yeah... uhm... who is deadnail?
Alex: That's correct... yuck, I'm having nightmares tonight... uhm... ok bigbad, pick the next category...
Bigbadgangsta: Demon rhyme time for 500.
THORNY BROWN DEMON'S
PROSTITUTION AGENTS.
*ring*
Alex: X-DOOM?
X-DOOM: Wait, answers on tips of toungue... yeah, Imps prostitution agent.
Alex: It has to rhyme, X-DOOM.
X-DOOM: Rhyme?
Alex: Nevermind. Anybody else?
*ring*
Alex: Dima?
Dima: What are Imps' Pimps.
Alex: Correct. Pick the next category.
Dima: The Focus for 200.
Alex: IT'S A DAILY DOUBLE!
Dima: Huh?
Alex: You put a certain amount of money on the line before the question. If you answer the question right, you get said amount of money added to your total. If not, it's subtracted from your total. You have 500 dollars, how much will you wager?
Dima: What? You don't trust my answer? You think I'm wrong?
Alex: I dunno... you haven't-
Dima: I get my info from RELIABLE SOURCES! Fuck this stupid game!
Alex: Dima...
Dima: Whether I'm right I lose the money, whether I'm wrong I lose the money! How do you like that, you fucking ass hole!
Alex: Uhm... doesn't work that way... don't you want-
Dima: I want some fucking respect! Playing fucking games with me! Dammit! My 1337 hax0r friends will delete your board!
*question board breaks down*
Alex: Oh great, not again. Oh well, skip to final jeopardy I guess. The category is "INFERNO", the answer is...
THIS INFERNO LEVEL INCLUDED
MANY TELEPORTS, AND ONLY
ONE COULD BRING YOU FORWARD
TO A ROOM WITH MANY DEMONS.
Alex: Please write your answers and wagers now...
<cheesy music>doo doo doo doo doo doo dah, doo doo doo doo dah, da da da da da, doo doo doo doo da da da, doo, do do doo, do, do, dooooo *bum bum*</cheesy music>
Alex: And X-DOOM, what's your answer?
WHERE ARES EPISODE 3 5 LEVELS?
Alex: Sorry, we need a level name. Your wager?
300 DOLLAR
Alex: Oooh, that brings you down to zero... Dima?
THIS IS SUCH CRAP.
PLAYING WAGERING GAMES
LIKE YOU DON'T TRUST ME
Alex: Sorry, wrong. Wager...
FUCK YOU ALL.
Alex: No... we'll knock you down to zero for that. Bigbad?
Alex: Hmm... your answer AND wager are just big white splotches.
Bigbadgangsta: Huh?
Alex: You did use that pen, right?
Bigbadgangsta: Pen... ohh! this thing is for writing!
Alex: Well that's enough bad thoughts for today. Seeya next week on
<crowd yells along>DOOMWORLD JEOPARDY</crowd yells along>
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08-31-01 01:49 
