Mancubus
Register | User Profile | Member List | F.A.Q | Privacy Policy | New Blog | Search Forums | Forums Home
Doomworld Forums : Powered by vBulletin version 2.2.5 Doomworld Forums > Special Interest > Fan Fics / Fan Pics > Help me write this one: B.J. and the Big F'ing Gun.
Pages (2): [1] 2 »  
Author
All times are GMT. The time now is 20:17. Post New Thread    Post A Reply
ZZ_TOPPER_X
Old Post 10-03-01 23:55 		This person is on your Ignore List. To view this post click [here]
DoomZero
BANNED


Posts: 50
Registered: 09-01
A man shrouded in a black cloak emerged from the ring of bright light. He stepped down onto the cold hard floor of the cell. B.J. could see nothing beneath the hood, but he could tell the bieng was watching him. He rose a single finger towards the ring of light, and it dissapeared. He then glanced at the bars. As B.J. watched in awe, the bars melted into liquid metal, which oozed along the floor. As the guard replied something in German, the cloaked figure grabbed him by the throat and hoisted him upward. The gaurd twitched and weezed, trying to breath. The creature simply tore his lungs out effortlessly. He walked down the hall. Fort some reason, he couldn't figure out why, he decided to follow. He grabbed the dead guards pistol, and went along with him.
Old Post 10-04-01 01:28 #
DoomZero is offline Profile || Blog || Email || Homepage || Search || Add Buddy IP || Edit/Delete || Quote
danarchist
The Origional Danarchist


Posts: 0
Registered: 01-01
"Uh...excuse me...who are you?", asked B.J.

"My name is not important to you, but our destinies are linked," replied the figure, "You see, there has been a disturbance in the time stream, and a great evil is threatining the existance of the entire universe."

"Great, but what does that have to do with me?"

"You shall see" The figure raised his finger once again and opened another portal down the corridor, just as a squad of brown shirt Nazis led by an SS officer, came aound the corner behind them...
Old Post 10-04-01 14:58 #
danarchist is offline Profile || Blog || Email || Search || Add Buddy IP || Edit/Delete || Quote
Naked Snake
HAHA I AM A FAG AND I CAN'T CHANGE THIS TITLE ANYMORE


Posts: 11558
Registered: 05-01
"Halt!" yelled the guard. B.J. raised his pistol and started to fire, but the hooded man sent a wave of fire towards the guards, setting them on fire.

"Look, I aint going nowhere until you tell me your name" B.J. said, angry.

"My name is Zaldron" the figure said...
Old Post 10-04-01 20:47 #
Naked Snake is offline Profile || Blog || PM || Search || Add Buddy IP || Edit/Delete || Quote
DoomZero
BANNED


Posts: 50
Registered: 09-01
B.J. stared for a minute, then said: "Zaldron? What kind of a name is Zaldron? I thought you'd be Jim, or Carl..." The Nazis began to fire, but the bullets simply, stopped, spun around, and killed thier launchers. The man known as Zaldron gave him a glance. "I'm not from around here. I don't perticularly recall being in a "World War 2". There wasn't such a thing in my relm." "Wheres your relm?" B.J. asked. Zaldron made the faintest reply. "Doom World." B.J. stepped back a bit. He seemed more frightened by the minute. "I'd hate to live there! Sounds painfull." Zaldron turned around slowly to be facing his follower. "Well, that's unfortunate for you, because that's where were going."

Old Post 10-05-01 04:25 #
DoomZero is offline Profile || Blog || Email || Homepage || Search || Add Buddy IP || Edit/Delete || Quote
Naked Snake
HAHA I AM A FAG AND I CAN'T CHANGE THIS TITLE ANYMORE


Posts: 11558
Registered: 05-01
Zaldron waved in the air, and a sound of fabric tearing rung out, as a temporal gateway opened up, and Zaldron motion for B.J. to enter.
"Um...how in the fuck did you do that?" B.J. asked, perplexed.
"I have mod status" Zaldron replied.
"K..." B.J. replied, still a little befuddeled.
"Now, let us go to DOOMWORLD" Zaldron said, his voice, deep like that of a warrior. They stepped through the gate, and ended up in a realm of blue, black and gray. A group of people stood there, ages, colors and sexes varying.
"Welcome!" Said one of the shorter ones "My name is Liam!" said the little boy.
"Go to goatse! HAHAHAHA!" said another person, who looked a little odd, like he had some sort of accident as a child, causeing him to be disfigured.
"You shall see our problem soon enough" Zaldron said...
Old Post 10-05-01 05:27 #
Naked Snake is offline Profile || Blog || PM || Search || Add Buddy IP || Edit/Delete || Quote
Katgut
Post Out Of Order


Posts: 674
Registered: 05-01
Then a group of six rabbits dressed in business suits comes over. All at the same time, they say, "Hi, we're bigbadgangsta."
Zaldron replies, "Fuck you, where the hell is Esco, Lord of Light?"
"Oh, he's *fzzzzt* castle behind the *fzzzzzt*" and they flicker out into static.
"You see, B.J., that's the problem. The Static Demons have been taking over this place. You must find Esco and get his help."
Old Post 10-05-01 14:34 #
Katgut is offline Profile || Blog || Email || Search || Add Buddy IP || Edit/Delete || Quote
Naked Snake
HAHA I AM A FAG AND I CAN'T CHANGE THIS TITLE ANYMORE


Posts: 11558
Registered: 05-01
Then a person walked in. He had enough guns and ammo to take down a small country.
"I am bigbadgangsta" the person said.
"We're bigbadgangsta" the guys in the suits say. The real bigbadgangsta pulls out a flamethrower and burns them all.
"FEAR!!!!" he yells as he toasts the beasts. "Zalrdon, we think Esco is in 'da blunt house'" he says.
Old Post 10-05-01 20:33 #
Naked Snake is offline Profile || Blog || PM || Search || Add Buddy IP || Edit/Delete || Quote
DoomZero
BANNED


Posts: 50
Registered: 09-01
B.J. couldn't have been more confused. "What the bloody fuck is going on?" He asked, but not many responded. Then, a flash of blinding red light exploded from the ground, And a figure covered in black armor appeared. "You must be B.J. Blazkowitz. I am the leader here. You can call me DEADNAIL."
Old Post 10-06-01 03:52 #
DoomZero is offline Profile || Blog || Email || Homepage || Search || Add Buddy IP || Edit/Delete || Quote
Naked Snake
HAHA I AM A FAG AND I CAN'T CHANGE THIS TITLE ANYMORE


Posts: 11558
Registered: 05-01
"deadnail huh?" B.J. asked, a little sarcastic.

"If you dont like it you can eat my fuck cause I'm a happy republican, so suck my dick until the back of your head caves in!" said deadnail, pissed off.

"Ok, ok! God, dont have a hissy fit" B.J. said. This sparked a chant of "free Hissy!" which confused B.J. more. "Ok, fuck you, you, you, oh...you for sure, you and you!" He said pointing to the crowd "I aint gonna get mixed up in this bullshit".

"Really? What if we said we were gonna have Macvil(e)whore piss in your wifes coffee? Then let Bigbadgangsta write a few porn fics starring Ralphis and your daughter, Sandy? Then having Lüt over there force your son to listen to the band Lüt? Now will you get mixed up in this bullshit?" Zaldron asked. This made B.J. mad. He swung for Zaldron, but a Chinese man stopped him.

"That would not be a good idea" the man said, still grasping B.J.'s arm with a tight grip.

"Meet arioch, hes my bodyguard. He once fended off 30 stupid newbies that were asking for warez, all alone with no defense other than an edit button" Zaldron said.

"Yes, as you can see, I am very strong. If I can kick 30 newbies assess then you would be like a little baby to me" arioch said.

"Zaldron, everything is ready. The timeflux glavanoxitronitatorizationizaler is ready" another man said.

"Wha?" B.J. asked.

"Thats Linguica, the tech man, he does computer stuff" Zaldron said.

"Well, lets quit talking and get down to the ass kickin'" deadnail said, holding up a .30-.30 bolt action sniper rifle.
Old Post 10-06-01 04:04 #
Naked Snake is offline Profile || Blog || PM || Search || Add Buddy IP || Edit/Delete || Quote
Kid Airbag
Not really a kid. Not really an airbag. WHAT THE HELL IS IT?!? Who's asking? Are you French? An airbag is a safety device in a car that inflates during a collision and blocks you from smashing your head into the dashboard or steering wheel!


Posts: 7619
Registered: 12-00
"All right," Linguica said. "Our first target is named Shotgun Bill, AKA Super-Joe. Last reports have him in a public library somewhere."

"We'll find him," deadnail growled, shifting his sniper rifle from one hand to the other.

"This guy won't stand a chance against the fish clan," Arioch said cooly. "Let's get this fucker."
Old Post 10-06-01 04:20 #
Kid Airbag is offline Profile || Blog || PM || Email || Search || Add Buddy IP || Edit/Delete || Quote
Naked Snake
HAHA I AM A FAG AND I CAN'T CHANGE THIS TITLE ANYMORE


Posts: 11558
Registered: 05-01
"I want to take him out." Bigbadgangsta said, eyes cold.

"Alright, but you must do it in the proper fasion" said deadnail, whos muscles strained the black armor he wore, which matched his expensive sunglasses.

"It is always the way" Bigbadgangsta said. He leaps high into the air, doing a backflip and runs off.

"Holy fuc-" B.J. was about to say when deadnail said

"Blowjob...I mean B.J. , we need you to take out this freak, his name is pizzaboi. Hes an infamous lamer, and he deserves to feel the wrath of the DW forum warriors" deadnail spoke, like a warrior should, with clear perfection and a volume that would deafen a non gun user.

"Sir, I have a request" said another person "I want to frag swinewave." the person said, holding an M-16a1 with a grenade launcher, silencer, bayonet and scope.

"Sure, go get em Cacodemon Leader" Zaldron said.

"What the hell is going on?" B.J. asked.

"We are at war with the fallen ones" Zaldron said.

"The who?" B.J. replied.

"The fallen ones are users who were banned from entering DOOMWORLD" Linguica said.

"Well, if it helps me save my family I will help" B.J. said.
Old Post 10-06-01 04:31 #
Naked Snake is offline Profile || Blog || PM || Search || Add Buddy IP || Edit/Delete || Quote
Kid Airbag
Not really a kid. Not really an airbag. WHAT THE HELL IS IT?!? Who's asking? Are you French? An airbag is a safety device in a car that inflates during a collision and blocks you from smashing your head into the dashboard or steering wheel!


Posts: 7619
Registered: 12-00
"Ok," Arioch said. "You're in."

"Here's your mission," Lüt began. "There is a man known as Executor666. He has not fallen yet, although Ling and his army have inflicted heavy damage on him. It shouldn't be too hard to get him, since he has been severely wounded already."

"We're gonna pair you with Archvile64," Arioch continued. "He was once a fallen one, but has become a double agent for us."

"Dammit, why do I get stuck with the newbies?" Archvile growled. "Oh, well, let's get moving, newbie. We've got a job to do."
Old Post 10-06-01 04:37 #
Kid Airbag is offline Profile || Blog || PM || Email || Search || Add Buddy IP || Edit/Delete || Quote
DoomZero
BANNED


Posts: 50
Registered: 09-01
"Okay, So...what gun do I use?" B.J. asked, anxious to kick some ass. Archvile64 sighed, and gave him a large energy weapon. "What the fuck is this?" "A Big Fucking Gun. Just be lucky a guy like you who doesn't even have a Post yet gets a gun like that. It's one of DeadNail's personal guns." B.J. grumbled, but generously took the gun. Suddenly, someone burst through a window. DeadNail sighs. "Do you ALWAYS have to break one of my windows, Lut?" B.J. scratched his head. "'Lut'? Whose Lut?" He asked. "Me." He responded. "He's by far the strongest troop we have so far." DeadNail added. "I have a message, DeadNail. Another group of Executor666's posts have gone to Post Hell." Lut said. "Uh...can I go now?" B.J. asked. "Typical Newbie." Macvillewhore whispered. "Yeah." DeadNail said. "Alrighty then," Archvile64 said. "Lets kick some Fallen ass."
Old Post 10-06-01 05:56 #
DoomZero is offline Profile || Blog || Email || Homepage || Search || Add Buddy IP || Edit/Delete || Quote
DoomZero
BANNED


Posts: 50
Registered: 09-01
B.J. Had just spent a couple hours kicking ass. Now he was bloody and wounded, like most. Bigbadgangsta had gotten rid of Shotgun Bill, and had come to Executor666 place, guns blazing. They had finally reached the inner area. "Okay, so wheres this Executor guy?" B.J. asked. "Should be right around the corner..." Archvile64 responded. B.J. spun around the corner, to come face to face with Executor666. He laughed, as he pulled out a huge cannon, and fired right next to B.J. A tear opened in the floor, sending B.J. falling into it, screaming. "Blazkowitz!" Bigbadgangsta yelled. But he was far too late. B.J. landed in a pit of darkness, soaked in noxious green fumes, making it nearly impossible to breathe. B.J. began to cough and gag, and fell to the floor. The gas was burning his eyes, causing contstant puking and a horrible pain in his whole body. His head pounded. He gasped, "Wh-Wh...Where...am...I...?" Suddenly, Shotgun Bill appeared from the darkness. "Post Hell." He replied, grimly. He laughed evilly, sending chills through B.J.'s spine. Was there anyway out? Or whas he doomed for eternity?
Old Post 10-06-01 06:08 #
DoomZero is offline Profile || Blog || Email || Homepage || Search || Add Buddy IP || Edit/Delete || Quote
Naked Snake
HAHA I AM A FAG AND I CAN'T CHANGE THIS TITLE ANYMORE


Posts: 11558
Registered: 05-01
"Archvile! Use your blazeboard exploitation skills and get him out of there!" Bigbadgangsta yelled.

"Cant! Didnt figure out how!" he replied. Then suddenly something clicked. Lüt! He had the FID=1 bug! He could remove people from post hell!

"Lüt! Use your mod skills to pull B.J. outta post hell!" he yelled into the radio. He looked down at Shotgun Bill, and he pulled out the Vulcan Cannon. It was hefty, but any gun that could spray off a few thousand rounds per minute was a friend of his. Damnit! He has followers. Spirits of the damned! Not banned users but the souls of the unused usernames! Shit!

"Archvile! Watch your back!" BBG yelled. Archvile pulled out a pair of Uzis and started firing away, dropping a few damned souls.

"BBG could use some back up! There are WAY to damn many!" He shouted over the moaning as the souls got closer, and over the sound of gunfire and death. BBG jumped down, landing next to archvile. He handed archvile a hatchet.

"If things get rough or you run outta ammo use this." BBG said before he ran, yelling like a primal beast, and rushed into the crowd of creatures. The occasional body part flying into the air was a signal that he was still alive. Archvile kept firing with the Uzis until they ran dry. He tossed them aside and pulled out his personal favorite, the Mac-10. He blasted away at the advancing creatures, they still relented. He then relized that they were getting back up!

"BBG! BBG!? ANDY! WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU!?" he yelled, hoping for BBG to respond. He didnt. Anger welled up in Archvile and he holsted the Mac-10. He whipped out the hatchet and used the one he already had and prepared to take on these hellish creatures no matter the cost.

Lüt was busy trying to get B.J. outta post hell. He couldnt remeber the way to do it! It had been so long! Oh god, DOOMWORLDS only hope was resting in the hands of Lüt and his crazy forum bug...
Old Post 10-06-01 08:00 #
Naked Snake is offline Profile || Blog || PM || Search || Add Buddy IP || Edit/Delete || Quote
Katgut
Post Out Of Order


Posts: 674
Registered: 05-01
...Meanwhile, in a fog-filled room, a circle of chanting acolytes suddenly stopped and an eight-foot-tall cyborg came out.

"All right, what do you want? Fnord," the figure said.

"Mistah Noaton, we have repoats, uhhh... I say, we have repoats of a new and more powerful foace fo' the Ling Crew."

"Damnit, esco, drop the bad Southern accent. So Ling has a new follower, does he? Fnord."
Old Post 10-06-01 12:55 #
Katgut is offline Profile || Blog || Email || Search || Add Buddy IP || Edit/Delete || Quote
Kid Airbag
Not really a kid. Not really an airbag. WHAT THE HELL IS IT?!? Who's asking? Are you French? An airbag is a safety device in a car that inflates during a collision and blocks you from smashing your head into the dashboard or steering wheel!


Posts: 7619
Registered: 12-00
...back in the gloomy depths of post hell...

Archvile continued firing his uzis into the crowd of advancing Damned Spirits.

"I think we lost BBG!" he shouted. "Mac, get the coffee gun prepped up! We're gonna need it!"

Macvilwhore pressed a button on his acidic coffee gun, and it began to charge up.

"Hurry!" Archvile shouted, as he dropped one of his uzis that had run out of ammo. "We're running out of time!"

"Ready!" Mac shouted, and turned to face the advancing wall of Damned Spirits. "Eat coffee, suckers!" he yelled, and streams of acidic coffee began pouring from the gun's muzzle onto the unfortunate spirits, and they began melting away. Slowly, Mac and Archvile began backing away as they continued firing into the mob. Just as it looked like they would be getting somewhere, the floor dropped away, and both of them went tumbling down a slimy tunnel.

"Post Hell!" Mac said. "Gas masks on!"

"Lüt, get us out of here!" Archvile said into his portable radio. The reply was filled with static, but he could still barely hear Lüt say, "I'm trying, but I forget how! It's been too long since I did this!"

Suddenly, a gigantic shadow appeared above them. It was BBG's alter ego, an evil version of BBG that ruled Post Hell.

"You'll pay for killing my sidekick, Shotgun Bill!" it roared, and stomped towards them.

"Split up!" Mac shouted, and they both began running in different directions.

Archvile continued running down a long, dark corridor. He couldn't hear the beast behind him, so he stopped to take a breath and look around.

Around him were putrid piles of dead posts. He bent down to look at one. "FIRST P0ST!" it said. This meant he was in the oldest section of post hell. It hadn't been ventured into since Post Hell first came into creation. A rotting stench filled Archvile's nostrils. He went further into the room, and saw a rotting corpse on the floor.

"Mewse!" he exclaimed. "So that's why you haven't posted for months!"

He re-loaded his remaining uzi before continuing up a steep sloping hallway. Reaching the top, he entered a gigantic underground structure with many floors. He looked on the floor, and saw various things scribbled there. He could read "8/04, 10:14 PM", and "Every one of my posts is meaningful", among others. This was the legendary custom titles thread. It had once been a great thread up in the above ground forums, but it had fallen into severe disrepair and Ling had no choice but to destroy it.

Suddenly, Macvilwhore burst into the door across the room, carrying a wounded B.J. "It's right behind us!" he shouted. "Get us out of here, Lüt!"

"I can't remember how!" Lüt replied frantically, over the radio.

"Change the FID to 1!" Archvile said. "It'll bring this topic and all of the damned souls in might have in it back up to the general forums, but it's our only way out!"

But then, the radio was knocked out of Archvile's hand as the BBG-beast entered the room.

"Now you shall pay for what you've done!" it shouted, and prepared to launch a gigantic fireball at the three forumers, when suddenly, the structure began to shake violently, and their visions began to blur. He felt dizzy and nautious, like only he had when he manipulated the forums before. This meant his plan was working.

Suddenly, he lost his balance and toppled to the ground. He heard a heavy thud across the room, which meant the BBG-beast had also falled. His vision was growing dimmer...

Then it was over. He blinked, and saw clearly light streaming through various holes in the structure. They were back on the surface. The beast jumped up before any of them could do anything, laughed maniacally, and burst through the wall, into the general forum, followed by an army of damned souls.

Archvile scrambled across the floor to where his radio had fallen. "Lüt, you and Fraggle ready the hidden forums, so we can get as many people down into them as we can before it's too late. Then tell Ling and Arioch to assemble the forum army."

The damned souls and their demonic leader were running rampant throughout the forums. The army would be able to stop them, but it was going to be a long, hard battle.
Old Post 10-06-01 16:06 #
Kid Airbag is offline Profile || Blog || PM || Email || Search || Add Buddy IP || Edit/Delete || Quote
Astewart41
Loser


Posts: 110
Registered: 04-01
As they snapped out of the haze, Astewart41 walked in, drinking some coffee.

Archvile64 turned to Astewart41, and said, "Where'd you get that coffee?"

Astewart41 said, "I found it in the armory, weirdest fucking place for it, doncha think?"

Archvile64 suddenly started to gag, and turned away.

"What?" Inquired Astewart41.

"Do you know Macvilewhore does to his coffee?"

"I don't think this is his special sauce blend," replied Astewart41.

As soon as he said it, Astewart41 suddenly gagged and threw up everywhere, after reading the label on the coffee mug:

"DANGER: CONTAMINATED URINE SPECIMENS IN COFFEE, USE ONLY FOR RALPHIS AND EXECUTOR666, AND OTHER SPAMMING WORTHLESS MORONS. -MACVILEWHORE®-"

Astewart41 was feeling dizzy.

"You okay?" Inquired Archvile64.

"I don't know, replied Astewart41," and amended "Yeah, I'm fine, just let me go stick my finger in my throat and gag it out.."

(Ten minutes later, Astewart41 walks back out of the bathroom, looking considerably more slender, the entire gang gasps as they see Astewart41 almost looks like one of them food-deprivated Ethiopian people)

"What?" Asked Astewart41.

"HOLY FUCKING SHIT!" Exclaimed BigBadGangsta, "HOW DID YOU DO THAT?!" He continued.

"I drank some Macvilewhore® coffee, the contaminated stuff, beats the fuck outta that Stacker II shit!"

Suddenly, Lüt broke through yet another window.

"I got them out!" Shouted Lüt.

"Got who out?" Inquired Astewart41?

"The guys, ya know?!" Exclaimed Lüt, exasperated.

"Guys? What? What the hell is going on here? I just came in here to post my progress on my "Fortress: Eye Of Evil" project and...."

(Astewart41 notices the door to Post Hell glowing a radiant bright green, and opens it)

"HOLY SHIT!!!" Exclaims Astewart41, eyes wide with surprise.

"Yeah, quite a mess in there, eh?" Says Linguica, as he enters the room.

Macvilewhore enters the room, carrying what appears to be a drum that would be used to power a Vulcan Cannon on an F-14 TOMCAT, only that it has two very lagre pots of coffee in the top.

"Heheheheh. What's up guys?" Asked Mac, covered in green slime and demon entrails.

"Uhhh... Not much... Is that the kind of shit you put in the armory to use against the stupid useless troll spamming morons?" Asked Astewart41.

"Yeah, hope you didn't drink some!" Said Mac, in a worried voice.

"WELL WHAT THE FUCK?! HOW DO YOU THINK I LOST 62 POUNDS IN 10 MINUTES?!" Screamed Astewart41.

"Oh... M-M-My... Go-God..." Stammered Mac as he noticed Astewart41's considerably leaner figure.

"FUCK JENNY CRAIG! BWUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Exclaims an excited Macvilewhore, and then continued "I think I should set up franchises with this shit!"

Linguica broke the chit-chat and hands Astewart41 his favorite weapon from ICD-DDF, the SIG-COW Infantry Rifle with Double Bayonets, and some C4, Grenades, and two Colt .45 Caliber handguns.

"You aware of the situation?" Asked Ling.

"Nope, I just came on to post my progress about EYE OF EVIL." Replied Astewart41.

"We're going up against Executor666 and the other jizzwads that take the fun out of li-, I mean, the DW forums." Continued Linguica.

"SWEET JESUS! GOOD! WHAT CAN I DO?!" Asked Astewart41.

"As far as I'm concerned, you can kill them all yourself," replied Linguica, "Your mission, should you accept it, is to plant C4 Charges on the support structures of EXECUTOR666's domain, and detonate them from a safe distance... BOOM!"

"Anyone coming with me?" Asked Astewart41, in a worried tone.

"Nope, this is a one man mission for you, you're our saboteur, part of the mission depends on you, the next assault will be against a bunch of Warez sites owners, which will be directed by Mordeth." Said Ling.

"Sounds good, can I fight in that one too?" Asked Astewart41, excitedly.

"If you're still alive, yes!" Replied Ling.

Astewart41 gulped and swallowed the lump in his throat, and put on his body armor, and strapped his gear.

(Okay, now it's your turn to decide Astewart41's - I mean, my fate, people... :D)
Old Post 10-06-01 17:28 #
Astewart41 is offline Profile || Blog || Email || Search || Add Buddy IP || Edit/Delete || Quote
deadnail
i define my reality through misery


Posts: 2144
Registered: 06-00
*groan*

A thirty thirty Winchester is not a sniper rifle, its a wild west rifle. You can still buy them but they're usually illegal to fire because the bullets go so Goddamned far, and they really are accurate as hell. ************, so long as we're all playing make believe I'd rather have a Robar .50 BMG rifle.

Shooting through a tank like a torch through butter is pretty damn handy. =D

In the future, though, can you guys lose the ghetto fabulous shit like Uzis and Ingrams? I mean, c'mon, what the fuck?

If I was going to take a pistol with me into a bad situation it'd be a Glock 21C with an internal Lasermax site and two prebans. If it takes more than 25 shots then you're just in the wrong Goddamned gunfight.

...but to keep this story going, just when AssWart thought things were their blackest out of nowhere came Username. Immidiately the scene fell into total chaos, with all the women killed and the cattle raped.

Just then...
Old Post 10-07-01 00:17 #
deadnail is offline Profile || Blog || PM || Email || Homepage || Search || Add Buddy IP || Edit/Delete || Quote
Astewart41
Loser


Posts: 110
Registered: 04-01
The ground opened beneath Deadnail, and an angry gaping hole swallowed Deadnail whole.

Astewart41 began to laugh his ass off, and then, suddenly, a gigantic African Swallow carrying John Cleese took a massive dump all over the whole gang, afterwards, John Cleese began to bombard the gang with cartons full of SPAM.

The End. J/K

(Don't count this as part of the story)
Old Post 10-07-01 00:49 #
Astewart41 is offline Profile || Blog || Email || Search || Add Buddy IP || Edit/Delete || Quote
Naked Snake
HAHA I AM A FAG AND I CAN'T CHANGE THIS TITLE ANYMORE


Posts: 11558
Registered: 05-01
At the main control center people were preparing for the battle when the door burst open, and a figure, covered in blood and clothing tattered, stood.

"Who the fuck are-" Lüt was about to say.

"Dont give me that shit" the figure replied

"I know that voice" archvile46 said "ITS BBG!" he yelled.

"Arg. I need 5 things. A beer, a woman, a bed, some blankets and a carton of smokes." he said, panting, and wiping blood from his face.

"We dont have all that" said Ling "but I think deadnail has some smokes" he calmly said.

"Here ya go, get cleaned up, we are getting ready for battle" deadnail said, tossing BBG some smokes.

"Ok" he replied.

"Wait, how did you escape?" archvile46 asked.

"Well, I couldnt jump, so I cleared a small path, and jumped down into the storm drains." he said

"Um...there arnt any storm drains" Ling said

"Oh...that would explain the green fog and shit" BBG said. Everyone in the room eyes shot skyward.

"YOU ESCAPED FROM POST HELL!?" deadnail asked "HOW!" he said.

"It wasnt easy" BBG began...(finish my sentance)
Old Post 10-07-01 17:58 #
Naked Snake is offline Profile || Blog || PM || Search || Add Buddy IP || Edit/Delete || Quote
DoomZero
BANNED


Posts: 50
Registered: 09-01
"I had to hack into DoomWorld and Post Hell itself, and I basically blew a hole in Post Hell. The nearby Posts were caught in the fire." BBG explained. "Well, then...we don't have to worry about any Post floods. What's our next assignment?" Lut asked. "Well, our primary target, Anonymous, was sent into Post Hell over fifteen times. He had masterminded the invasion of Idiot Newbies and Damned souls. We need to get him to stop the invasion." Deadnail said. "Im in." B.J. Boldly stated. Suddenly, another guy burst through the window. "This is DoomZero. He is also fairly new. You will be working with him, B.J." DoomZero grinned. "All righty, lets get this thing going."

A FEW HOURS LATER...

"Deadnail, are we there yet?" Lut asked. "Yeah. Were outside the main door, dumbass." Deadnail growled. So did Macvillwhore's stomach. "I...I...n-need....COFFEE!!!!" Macvillwhore screamed. "Okay...you can have Coffee when were done with this." Deadnail said smugly. So, they burst through the door and stormed Anonymous' fortress. Shortly afterwards, they were in Anonymous' room. They found him on a throne covered with pornographic pictures of men. "Eeeeewwww..." DoomZero said. "Everybody knows he's bisexual, so we should just get over it." Lut moaned. Anonymous released thousands of Damned Souls, and a huge gory battle insued. B.J. had used all his ammo exept for one last Shootgun shell. He aimed at Anonymous' head. "I only need one clear shot..." B.J. was interrupted by a clicking noise. "So do I." King Xtreme coldly replied.
BLAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NEXT: THE CONCLUSION TO THE STORY!!!!
Old Post 10-07-01 19:22 #
DoomZero is offline Profile || Blog || Email || Homepage || Search || Add Buddy IP || Edit/Delete || Quote
ZZ_TOPPER_X
Old Post 10-07-01 19:40 		This person is on your Ignore List. To view this post click [here]
Naked Snake
HAHA I AM A FAG AND I CAN'T CHANGE THIS TITLE ANYMORE


Posts: 11558
Registered: 05-01
Kat ran towards one of the hell minions, slit its throat and screamed like a wild banshee. Everyone in the DW forums was helping, even Ralphis! Ralphis had fragged at least 67 minions of evil. The LAW strapped to his back rattled, and the two Berretta 9mm's he held had delt much death. He watched as archvile shot the head off a minion with a Remington Double Barrel shotgun. He was so enthralled by his skill he almost didnt see Liam the Bard in trouble. Liam's gun had run out of ammo and in the middle of reload, his gun was knocked outta his hands and he was slowly backing away from a large minion. Ralphis fired, and fired, until the beast fell. He picked Liam off the ground and handed him a gun. "Lets get these fuckers. TTYL! LOL!" he said, walking with Liam, shooting, killing, stabbing, maiming.
Old Post 10-07-01 20:38 #
Naked Snake is offline Profile || Blog || PM || Search || Add Buddy IP || Edit/Delete || Quote
DooMBoy
Heh
(but Stupidity still cannot be concealed)


Posts: 8115
Registered: 12-00
All of a sudden, another temporal rift opened. The cries of "Free Hissy!" stopped and Zaldron, deadnail, and B.J. stared. It was DooMBoy.
"Hey, I thought this was going to be a serious story," qouth DooMBoy.
Old Post 10-08-01 01:54 #
DooMBoy is offline Profile || Blog || PM || Email || Homepage || Search || Add Buddy IP || Edit/Delete || Quote
Naked Snake
HAHA I AM A FAG AND I CAN'T CHANGE THIS TITLE ANYMORE


Posts: 11558
Registered: 05-01
"Looks like you were wrong." said deadnail.

"Oh..." said DooMBoy.

"Get outta here unless your gonna fight!" Bigbadgangsta said, pointing his Desert Eagle Mark XIX .50 Cal Action Express at DooMBoy. A minion jumped at deadnail, without looking he shoved a Ka-Bar combat knife into its stomach, pulled, gutting it, and threw its lifeless body to the ground.

"Lets get a move on guys" deadnail said
Old Post 10-08-01 02:02 #
Naked Snake is offline Profile || Blog || PM || Search || Add Buddy IP || Edit/Delete || Quote
CacodemonLeader
Powerslave Fanatic


Posts: 369
Registered: 06-01
Cacodemon Leader, after thwarting the Kilmaat, saw what was happening. In his hand, he was carrying a BFG of some sort, but it wasn't an ordinary BFG, it did not even look like the BFG that the DOOM Community never even know of. He floated down to see what was going on.

"Bloody Hell!" Cacodemon Leader said, "What the hell is going on here?!? Where did B.J. Blazkowicz go? Isn't he and you good Doomers supposed to be going after the Static Demons? Oh well, if you see B.J., tell him I left this awkward BFG behind."

"Huh?" Doomboy muttered.

"I was unable to figure out how this motherf*cking hunk of junk worked, and all my attempts have been failures. Dest even tried to Hijack it so it could go against me, but luckily the Kilmaat destroyed him, before I had to destroy the Kilmaat myself," CacodemonLeader said all at once.

And Cacolead added, "Um mac, you better get your Coffee Cannon ready, cause thy Static demons have come."
Old Post 10-08-01 02:19 #
CacodemonLeader is offline Profile || Blog || Email || Homepage || Search || Add Buddy IP || Edit/Delete || Quote
Ralphis`
Rape Survivor


Posts: 1214
Registered: 06-01
Ralphis continued running with Liam to nowhere. Where are they running to? They finally get to a room full of crates. Ralphis, strapping on his M16 with the M203 attached (nade launcher), walked into the darkness. A sudden blow knocked him to his knees. Retaliating, Ralphis rolled out of the way to look up and see a tall dark figure. Suddenly a huge explosion occurs and both Ralphis and the fiend turn to look in that direction. Ralphis, taking advantage of the situation backed up and fired a full 30 round clip into the fiend's upper body. Falling to the ground, the beast let out a large yell. What was the explosion?
Old Post 10-08-01 02:20 #
Ralphis` is offline Profile || Blog || Homepage || Search || Add Buddy IP || Edit/Delete || Quote
Naked Snake
HAHA I AM A FAG AND I CAN'T CHANGE THIS TITLE ANYMORE


Posts: 11558
Registered: 05-01
Cacodemon Leader relized that leaving that gun with DooMBoy wasnt that intelligent. He ran back to get it back, but DooMBoy was gone.

"Where the fuck is he!?" CacoLeader yelled.

"DIE! FNORD!" He heard DooMBoy yell, watching DooMBoy blasting away with the BFG thingy.

"Damnit! Stop wasting ammo" Caco yelled.

"No! Fnord!" DooMBoy said.
Old Post 10-08-01 02:26 #
Naked Snake is offline Profile || Blog || PM || Search || Add Buddy IP || Edit/Delete || Quote
All times are GMT. The time now is 20:17. Post New Thread    Post A Reply
Pages (2): [1] 2 »  
Doomworld Forums : Powered by vBulletin version 2.2.5 Doomworld Forums > Special Interest > Fan Fics / Fan Pics > Help me write this one: B.J. and the Big F'ing Gun.

Show Printable Version | Email this Page | Subscribe to this Thread

 

Forum Rules:
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts 		HTML code is OFF
vB code is ON
Smilies are OFF
[IMG] code is ON
 

< Contact Us - Doomworld >

Powered by: vBulletin Version 2.2.5
Copyright ©2000, 2001, Jelsoft Enterprises Limited.

Forums Directory