Astewart41
Loser
Posts: 110
Registered: 04-01 |
While everyone else was off fighting the deranged mental nutcases of the darkest recesses of Post Hell, Astewart41 had a mission: To fight, and kill, the crazy English/Vocabulary-loving Anti-Harsh Language/Religious and Moral Values Hypocrite, the entity known as "Executor666".
Astewart41 found Executor666's domain, a large castle spanning 5 stories high, adorned with English Textbooks and Church Hymnal books. He also noticed a small discoloration in the wall surrounding a flood gate, pushing open the small hidden niche, he found a crate full of magazines, each wrapped in Cellophane. The layer of dust was so thick, he couldn't see what was inside, so, reaching into his pocket, he took out his Swiss Army knife, and cut through the Cellophane wrapping. Inside he found various assorted Gay porn magazines, and a note, no, make that, love letter, from Anonymous. The note read (In shitty computer linguistics form): "hey baby i luv u ex666, i kno when we rnt together you think about me nekked thigh deep in tofu, so if you r really horny, read these and imagine me, k, love you buh bye xoxoxoxoxoxo, Anon"
Astewart41 dropped the note, disgusted, and put the years-supply of Playgirls back into the box, ready to lose his lunch, (remembering that, thanks to Macvilewhore's coffee, he didn't have any lunch to lose, now).
Inside, he entered, and few numerous odd commodities inside the castle. Numerous tapestries littered the walls, each seeming to have a different theme...
"Barney, Teletubbies, Sesame Street..." Mumbled Astewart41, looking over the odd ornaments, one caught his eye in particular "Hentai Anime Porn!" said Astewart41, obviously surprised.
So this guy has something for Asian people too? Or just Anime? Thought Astewart41.
Suddenly, a large gigantic Pikachu (y'know, from Strokemon) jumped out at Astewart41, belching those odd little soccer ball things that they use in Strokemon to give procto exams to the dogs and cats in the movie, sometimes to remove dead Gerbils from animals who were homosexual, and had seriously bad awry felching sessions... ANYWAYS...! Back to the story, the Pikademon lumbered towards Astewart41, belching the balls (That sounds about right) and farting loudly. Asteart41 almost gagged, as the potent, yet nonetheless awful sour smell permeated the air. The Pikademon had to be 700 pounds at least.
Astewart41 readied the Bayonets on his SIG-COW and started to stab wildly into the demon, hearing the characteristic "Pika-pik-pik-pikac-pikachu!", but in a manner that sounded like it had been recorded using Sound Recorder, and edited to slow the wav speed down 100%, suddenly, a horrendous scream rang out through the small chamber, and Astewart41 pulled a glistening bulbous object up to eye level from his Bayonet.
...He had somehow stabbed the Pikademon's testicles off, and the Pikademon was still screaming, but this time, it sounded like Richard Simmon's was being fisted by a man with fingers the size of KFC drumsticks.
Astewart41 hurried past the tormented Pikademon, but not before stuffing a Frag Grenade in the Pikademon's ass and running like shit does after eating Mexican.
After the gigantic explosion, Astewart41 looked back into the small chamber, and noticed the room was completely different, in terms of colors.
Red, Yellow, Green, Blue, Black. All those colors were what was left of the Pikademon, in addition, many chunks of flesh and entrails hang from the wall, and off the candelabras and chandeliers.
"Damn, too bad I didn't have my camera with me... My friends would KILL to see what I did to that horrible piece of shit!"
...To be continued by someone else. (Hopefully)
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10-08-01 02:39 
