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CacodemonLeader
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Posts: 367
Registered: 06-01


Cacodemon Leader swipes the gun from Doomboy, with an angry look at Doomboy.

What the two didn't know is that this BFG didn't use ordinary Energy Cells, but it used it's own ammo, which it regenerates rapidly. It starts to glow.

"Huh?" Doomboy reminded Caco, "But that gun is starting to glow with Green light."

Cacoleader looks at the gun, and listened to what it said:

"The Static Demons can be defeated by destroying the Evil Selkis, the evil robotic scorpion who was a terror during the time when the Kilmaat attempted to do their plans of reviving King Ramses. Selkis must be stopped, and you should leave it to the one who got tooken here. The fate of Doom World depends on his cunning."

"Okay, I'll scan for B.J. then," Caco said.

Taking what resembled Ghostbusters PKE meter, Caco scanned the whole area for B.J., and to Cacoleader's surprise, he saw that he was heading for the burrow of... ...the evil Robo Scorpion Selkis.

"Doomboy, lets head for the top of the Defunct Clans Forum! I found a way to get in!" Caco told Doomboy.

"I sure hope you can find a way," Doomboy replied, "Cause if it isn't true you're dead."

Caco set the detector to Teleport, and he and Doomboy were tooken directly to the entrance of Selkis's Burrow, where B.J. is waiting.

Old Post 10-08-01 02:39 #
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Naked Snake
HAHA I AM A FAG AND I CAN'T CHANGE THIS TITLE ANYMORE


Posts: 11313
Registered: 05-01


"Took you bastards long a freaking nuff!" B.J. shouted!

Old Post 10-08-01 02:49 #
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CacodemonLeader
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Posts: 367
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"Okay then, I'll call up my Cacodemons!" Cacodemon Leader told B.J. and Doomboy.

Cacolead blew into a customized Shotgun, which played the music of Spineshank's "New Disease". One by the one, the Cacodemons Came.

"Okay my Servant Cacos," Cacolead began, "I have gathered you all here to tell you that the location of the whole problem is solved. Find all the Good Doomers around Doomworld and get them to this place, Selkis's Burrow. You cacos are my best ones and we're running out of time, so scatter around and find all the Doomers and get them here. Me, B.J. and Doomboy will go into Selkis's Burrow now, so tell them that we entered the burrow."

"Uh, Leader, isn't the place where Esco is waiting where we are now?" One of the Cacodemons Spoke.

"Oh. I guess it is," Cacoleader replied, "Which means... ...ESCO! NO WAY AM I LETTING A ROBOTIC SCORPION DESTROYING DOOMWORLD'S ONLY RESIDENT, GHETTO NIGGA!!"

And with that, Cacolead dashed into Selkis'a Burrow, with B.J. Blazkowicz and Doomboy following him. The Cacos, shocked by the event, decided to follow the orders Cacodemon Leader gave them, and they scattered around to go searching for all of the Good Doomers in Doomworld. Somehow, Katarhyne also found the burrow and decided to go exploring into it, no matter what dangers are there to come.

Old Post 10-08-01 03:12 #
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Naked Snake
HAHA I AM A FAG AND I CAN'T CHANGE THIS TITLE ANYMORE


Posts: 11313
Registered: 05-01


"Oh god. It reeks of ASS down here" Kat said, feeling around in the dark.

"Boo!" A voice shouted out from the darkness. Kat wasnt scared a bit, instead she pulls out a Winchester to blow the persons head off.

"Dont shoot its me BBG, I got spookyeyes!" BBG said. Kat grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and pulled him close, and said "Do that again, and I will tear your balls off and feed em to a newbie!". BBG swallowed some spit and his pride as he took point with a WW I flamethrower.

Old Post 10-08-01 03:24 #
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Kid Airbag
Not really a kid. Not really an airbag. WHAT THE HELL IS IT?!? Who's asking? Are you French? An airbag is a safety device in a car that inflates during a collision and blocks you from smashing your head into the dashboard or steering wheel!


Posts: 6359
Registered: 12-00


Meanwhile, Macvilwhore, deadnail, and Archvile46 boarded a helicopter from within the confines of the hidden forums and prepared to parachute down onto the top of Selkis' burrow, to attack it from above.

Old Post 10-08-01 04:13 #
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CacodemonLeader
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Meanwhile, in Selkis's Burrow, Cacolead was annoyed by the argument that Bigbadgangsta and Katarhyne were having.

"YOU GUYS! THIS IS SELKIS'S BURROW, NOT A FORUM!" Caco yelled at them.

The two stopped arguing.

"Hmm, my caco servants seem to be doing a pretty good job," Caco continued.

"Well," Kat said, "I just saw deadnail, liam, Ralphis, and Archvile64 come here."

"And I also saw deathwarrior coming as well," bbg continued.

Then the three heard a loud Scream from a stunned Doomboy. The three head for the room where B.J. and Doomboy were there, stunned.

"Uh, well I found out what could happen to us if we get defeated by Selkis," Doomboy started, "Cause if we lose, then we will feel lovesick and we're gonna constantly be forced to look for love, until no one is left here."

"SHIT!" Cacoleader yelled, "B.J., we must not fail, otherwise Doomworld will never be the same again, and you're gonna be effected by the problem yourself."

"I'm always ready for anything," B.J. told Cacoleader, "Cause after all, I destroyed the Angel of Dea..."

"Angel of Death?" Doomboy asked.

"ACK!" B.J. Shrieked. "Now one of yous have found it out. You guys don't think I'm mad do you?"

"Nah," Cacoleader replied, "Cause I believe you 100% and besides, I played Spear of Destiny already, and you were in the game."

Also, what they forgot to see, was an inscription of someone by the name of Archvile46, with the words "I thought I could fuck with ling... ...OOPS!" and the word "BANNED" and a number of "-10000". That inscription was useless anyways, or is it?

Old Post 10-08-01 04:19 #
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Naked Snake
HAHA I AM A FAG AND I CAN'T CHANGE THIS TITLE ANYMORE


Posts: 11313
Registered: 05-01


"Come on guys, we got the firepower, the brains, and of course the kick ass, me." BBG said.

"MERF!" Somebody shouted from the darkness. It was Red_Warrior. "I think I can help, I gotta little plush demon that I can bring to life" she said, her hair flowing mid-shoulder, and armed with alota guns and ammo. She looked like a female Terminator.

"Um...a little demon?" caco asked.

"Yeah. Watch this!" She put the demon on the ground, said "MERF!" and the things eyes shone red. It grew and stood up. The group all point their guns at it except RW.

"Its safe" she said, assuring the group. BBG pulls out a PSG-1 sniper rifle, puts a LAW and STINGER anti-aircraft missile launcher to straps on his back. He loads rounds into the PSG-1, shoulders it and pulls out his trusty Desert Eagle. He loads it and looks around. "Look guys, I only have 1 pair of NVGs. I guess, I get em, but I do have so glow sticks. I will wear them on my back. Follow the glow sticks" he says as he prepares to take point.

Old Post 10-08-01 05:18 #
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danarchist
The Origional Danarchist


Posts: 1660
Registered: 01-01


Meanwhile in another corridor...

...a dark form races along, huffing, "damnit I'm late...I don't want to miss anything else. Next time I post in the Polls Forum, I must remind myself not to doze off."

The Danarchist hurried around another corner, his trenchcoat flapping behind him. A grimace stretched across his cyborg face in determination.

All of the sudden, he came upon a dead end, almost running head first into the stone wall.

"Thats funny, I could have sworn this continued on."

"HahA that wat u thik, u balls shit snakes!", came a voice from behind him.

"Oh-no, I though we had disposed of you long ago."

"My jus lef for finding a Wolf sight. But non wer in Argntina. Me is pisd. I hav to go soon, now."

"Damn you username", Danarchist said as he turned. In front of him he saw the generic, featureless being that was the most annoying sonofabitch this side of Newdoom. "Who are you working for?"

"I werk fr noone, xcept th evl from Pos Hel."

"Well then I must destroy you," replied the Danarchist, after deciphering the incoherent babble. Like the lightning-quick dart of a cobra, a double-barreled shotgun came out of his coat, aimed for username's skull. He cocked it, then smiled, "there is no chance, make your time."

"Wat, u stoopid Damer?"

<BLAM>

"Ow, my fac...dam ball!"

<BLAM>

"My stumik."

<BLAM>

"Me nardles. U Damer Snake!"

By this time, username lay bleeding on the ground. the Danarchist cocked his shotgun once more. "Serves you right, son-of-a-bitch," said the Danarchist, walking away, "you were kind of funny though."

He hadn't walked thirty feet however, when he recieved a kick to the head. "What the Hell?"

"I now suprporerful, you Snake Damer! Evl has givn I regeration times 30,00."

Without replying, Danarchist swung his shotgun's butt towards username's head. username grabbed the gun and flung it towards the wall. Punching Danarchist in the nose, breaking it.

"Ah, crap!" Danarchist bent over as if in pain, but as username came closer for another blow, Danarchist did a somersult backwards, planting his booted foot firmly between username's legs. Strangely, the enigmatic Wolf-fan did not show any sign of pain.

Danarchist flew at username, hitting him in the face with a high roundhouse kick. A few punces later, and the demon again lay unconcious on the ground.

"Damn you," yelled Danarchist in pain. He held his hand to his nose and a bright light filled the corridor. When the
illumination had subsided, his nose was completely healed. Just then the dead end dissapeared, and the corridor continued on.

"I knew it," said the Danarchist as he grabbed his shotgun and continued on. Little did he know, but behind him username began to stir once again.

"Ball Shit Snake Damers tink Im a nakked Afrikanes, but I am assassn for evl now. I dont hav any tim, my 28.8 runs low, bt I wil retrn." He rose up just then, and waved his hand. Another temporal breach opened up before him, and he stepped through.

Old Post 10-08-01 05:22 #
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Naked Snake
HAHA I AM A FAG AND I CAN'T CHANGE THIS TITLE ANYMORE


Posts: 11313
Registered: 05-01


"Kat, here, take the NVGs. They are hurting my eyes, and take the glow sticks too" BBG said, handing Kat the NVGs, and rubbing his eyes. She swiftly kicks him in the balls.

"Ohhhhh, what was that for?" he asked.

"That was for being in love with Red_Warrior" she said.

"Oh.......my nards. Why do you care" he asked.

"Heh, I just needed a reason to kick someone in the sac" she said, smiling. BBG got up slowly, groaning in pain, agony, and yes, holding his scrotal area, eyeing Kat, making sure she wasnt gonna try anything funny. Another scream bellowed from BBG as Red_Warrior kick him in the balls.

"Merf, thats for "being in love with me" on a dare just for a ciggarette" she said.

"I feel your pain brother" Caco said, worry in his eyes, yet a smile on his face.

Old Post 10-08-01 05:30 #
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DoomZero
BANNED


Posts: 50
Registered: 09-01


DoomZero aimed his Magnum .87 at Selkis, and fired over and over untill the thing died. All of the static Demons disolved, and Finally, B.J. met up with Zaldron again. "So, I suppose this is it. It's been nice knowing you." B.J. said, smiling, but slightly depressed. "Yeah. See ya, Newbie." Mac said. Zaldron then opened up a golden ring of energy, and B.J. stepped through it. He was back in American territory. But the members of Doom World forgot one thing. B.J. still had the BFG.

SEVERAL YEARS AFTER...

B.J. crouched in the woods, silent as a mouse. His sneak attack skills had grown in exilence ever scince his first mission. He was preparing for a sneak attack, when suddenly a ring of blinding light appeared below him. He fell through into DoomWorld, which was blazing in flames. Zaldron and the others were frantically running around firing at strange creatures like pig demons, but black. Deadnail, yelling over his gunfire, said: "B.J.! We have another problem! The Darkness Demons are running around hacking into and destroying Forum Worlds everywhere!" B.J. smiled evilly. "No, really?" He pulled out the good old BFG from years ago, modified and fully charged. "It's good to be back."

TO BE CONTINUED...

Old Post 10-08-01 05:33 #
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Katgut
Post Out Of Order


Posts: 673
Registered: 05-01


In the Control Room, the stench of potsmoke covered everything like a badly knit cannabis blanket. In one corner sat the Supreme Lord, KNorton. As he toked over and over, he chanted his mantra: "Fnord. Fnord. Fnord. Fnord. Fnord."

Just then, Linguica and Arioch burst in. "Get off your motherfuckin' hippy stoner ass, KNort! We got shit in Sector 666!"

"Fnord. Fnord. Fnord. Fnord. Fnord."

"God damn fnordback loops..." arose a voice from the floor.

"Fnord. Fnord. Fnord. Fnord. Fnord."

Just as Tom came in, the voice said, "Fnord yourself! I'm trying to get stuff done."

"Shut up, MDenham, you don't get JACK FUCK done. And where the hell is The Nether Regions?"

"Tom, one, you're an ass, two, it's not TNR, it's Sandstone, and three, you're an ass. Get the fuck out before..."

"Fnord. Fnord. Fnord. Fnord. Fnord."

"FUCKING HELL!"

Old Post 10-08-01 05:50 #
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Astewart41
Loser


Posts: 110
Registered: 04-01


While everyone else was off fighting the deranged mental nutcases of the darkest recesses of Post Hell, Astewart41 had a mission: To fight, and kill, the crazy English/Vocabulary-loving Anti-Harsh Language/Religious and Moral Values Hypocrite, the entity known as "Executor666".

Astewart41 found Executor666's domain, a large castle spanning 5 stories high, adorned with English Textbooks and Church Hymnal books. He also noticed a small discoloration in the wall surrounding a flood gate, pushing open the small hidden niche, he found a crate full of magazines, each wrapped in Cellophane. The layer of dust was so thick, he couldn't see what was inside, so, reaching into his pocket, he took out his Swiss Army knife, and cut through the Cellophane wrapping. Inside he found various assorted Gay porn magazines, and a note, no, make that, love letter, from Anonymous. The note read (In shitty computer linguistics form): "hey baby i luv u ex666, i kno when we rnt together you think about me nekked thigh deep in tofu, so if you r really horny, read these and imagine me, k, love you buh bye xoxoxoxoxoxo, Anon"

Astewart41 dropped the note, disgusted, and put the years-supply of Playgirls back into the box, ready to lose his lunch, (remembering that, thanks to Macvilewhore's coffee, he didn't have any lunch to lose, now).

Inside, he entered, and few numerous odd commodities inside the castle. Numerous tapestries littered the walls, each seeming to have a different theme...

"Barney, Teletubbies, Sesame Street..." Mumbled Astewart41, looking over the odd ornaments, one caught his eye in particular "Hentai Anime Porn!" said Astewart41, obviously surprised.

So this guy has something for Asian people too? Or just Anime? Thought Astewart41.

Suddenly, a large gigantic Pikachu (y'know, from Strokemon) jumped out at Astewart41, belching those odd little soccer ball things that they use in Strokemon to give procto exams to the dogs and cats in the movie, sometimes to remove dead Gerbils from animals who were homosexual, and had seriously bad awry felching sessions... ANYWAYS...! Back to the story, the Pikademon lumbered towards Astewart41, belching the balls (That sounds about right) and farting loudly. Asteart41 almost gagged, as the potent, yet nonetheless awful sour smell permeated the air. The Pikademon had to be 700 pounds at least.

Astewart41 readied the Bayonets on his SIG-COW and started to stab wildly into the demon, hearing the characteristic "Pika-pik-pik-pikac-pikachu!", but in a manner that sounded like it had been recorded using Sound Recorder, and edited to slow the wav speed down 100%, suddenly, a horrendous scream rang out through the small chamber, and Astewart41 pulled a glistening bulbous object up to eye level from his Bayonet.

...He had somehow stabbed the Pikademon's testicles off, and the Pikademon was still screaming, but this time, it sounded like Richard Simmon's was being fisted by a man with fingers the size of KFC drumsticks.

Astewart41 hurried past the tormented Pikademon, but not before stuffing a Frag Grenade in the Pikademon's ass and running like shit does after eating Mexican.

After the gigantic explosion, Astewart41 looked back into the small chamber, and noticed the room was completely different, in terms of colors.

Red, Yellow, Green, Blue, Black. All those colors were what was left of the Pikademon, in addition, many chunks of flesh and entrails hang from the wall, and off the candelabras and chandeliers.

"Damn, too bad I didn't have my camera with me... My friends would KILL to see what I did to that horrible piece of shit!"

...To be continued by someone else. (Hopefully)

Old Post 10-08-01 06:18 #
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danarchist
The Origional Danarchist


Posts: 1660
Registered: 01-01


Meanwhile, the Danarchist was still running through the corridors, searching for his companions...

"Damn it, I've been running through these corridors for several years and the last person I met was username, but I gunned his ass down. Then there was Wilson, but I lost him in a storm at sea. Oh wait...wrong movie. Anyways I've been running in these corridors for years without anyone to talk to. Dammit, HTML makes this go a lot faster. And now I'm talking to myself. WTF?"

While he was rambling, he did not notice that the floor beneath him began to crumble. After a few more minutes of ranting, he fell through...

Old Post 10-08-01 06:32 #
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deathz0r
Bitch fuckin' stole me chaingun!


Posts: 3612
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damnit, thanks for plagarizing my "doom community story" idea. now i'm pissed off.

Old Post 10-08-01 07:41 #
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CacodemonLeader
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Unfortunately, even though Selkis was defeated, the Robotic Scorpion's body blows up to reveal hundreds above hundreds of Mites and Scorpions.

"SHIT!" Cacodemon Leader yelled, "I should have known that was going to happen. We're gonna have to destroy them all if we are going to win!"

"WTF?" Archvile64 was saying, "We just whupped that Scorpion's Ass!"

"Well," Cacolead continued, "Selkis just so happens to have been working with the Kilmaat, which is now long gone."

Taking a flamethrower with super-burn, and a Nuclear Warhead gun (Don't worry, the Nuclear Warhead gun is in the Starship Troopers TC and it doesn't cause nuclear reactions where the blast was at)

Then Caco shoots the Nuclear Warhead, and from a distance, many of the Mites and Scorpions have been destroyed, but there was still too many. Just then, Caco sees a rather familiar bug figure, which seemed to be...

"Hello!" The Evil Bug said, "My name is Kilmaatikhan. Think you guys were going to stop me? Even if you defeat me once, I'll still get yous!"

Everyone got stunned and started attacking. Unfortunately the hard shell of Kilmaatikhan was unable to get pierced through.

Old Post 10-08-01 13:27 #
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deathz0r
Bitch fuckin' stole me chaingun!


Posts: 3612
Registered: 01-01


suddenly, out of nowhere, deathwarrior appears and heyo's the fuck out of the demons. peace is prevailed. people praise deathwarrior's ass.

THE END

Old Post 10-08-01 13:44 #
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CacodemonLeader
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"NO WAY!" Kilmaatikhan Said.

Kilmaatikhan sends a couple of Meat-Eating Monster Balls after deathwarrior. Deathwarrior avoids them and destroys them, but still unable to still destroy Kilmaatikhan.

"HAHAHAHA! You Doomers will never destroy me!" Kilmaatikhan laughed.

B.J., quite annoyed by that Scaled Pest, decided to use the Unknown BFG weapon, and aimed it at Kilmaatikhan. The BFG charged, and shot a glow of Blueness towards Kilmaatikhan. Kilmaatikhan blows up in a bunch of guts. Unfortunately, Kilmaatikhan comes back to life as a Red Meanie snake. Everyone tried to run away from it, but they failed and they become injured. Cacolead uses the Super-Burn flamethrower on Kilmaatikhan, and Kilmaatikhan complains, and burns in flames. Later, Kilmaatikhan finally dies, in a Very BIG explosion!

"Whew!" Cacolead said, "Finally the evil Kilmaat has been destroyed, and things shall go along good."

"But," Zaldron asked, "We still never found Esco yet."

"SHIT!" Cacolead shouted, "We forgot about him."

"Oh well," Zaldron concluded, "At least he is okay now.

So B.J. waves goodbye to the Doomers and he goes back home, finally. Everything is now okay, until next time......................

Old Post 10-08-01 13:53 #
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Liam
the Bard formerly known as the Bard


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And then Liam wishes he had time to finish DWJ 3 so that this forum isn't so full of shit.

Old Post 10-10-01 02:04 #
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deathz0r
Bitch fuckin' stole me chaingun!


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And then Liam wishes he had time to finish DWJ 3 so that this forum isn't so full of shit.
please do it before more people plagarize my ideas!

Old Post 10-10-01 08:37 #
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ZZ_TOPPER_X
Old Post 10-20-01 03:26
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Zaldron
Sex Cauldron


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MY EARS ARE RINGING

Old Post 10-20-01 03:50 #
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Katgut
Post Out Of Order


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And then Liam wishes he had time to finish DWJ 3 so that this forum isn't so full of shit.
please do it before more people plagarize my ideas!
Mmmm, we like Tek.

Old Post 10-20-01 06:41 #
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