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Tek
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Registered: 10-01


Howdy again,

This is an update to (Another) Doom Story pt. 4. Give my your comments and concerns.

(Another) Doom Story pt. 4.1


I'd not even dreamed of anything like what PFC Williamson described to me. A fireball throwing devil…Hell was upon us! I decided I would pray to Buddah a bit harder from then on. Hopefully, he'd intervene this time.
I took a look up from my rations. The guy who introduced himself as Private Jared Stevens had gone out to check out the explosion. Private Kosky was going insane it seemed--Frederick told me he'd only just weeks ago gotten out of training. I knew how he felt--this whole situation was freaking me out as well. Kirin stood weakly against a wall. He looked tired.
I looked back at my rations, a bowl of chicken noodle soup and a cute little plate spaghetti and meatballs. Artificial though they were, they provided a good eat and a nice change from UAC's low-budget cafeteria crap. And it was all encased in a nice little plastic lunch-box type thingy with a spork and everything! It reminded me of airline food, but it tasted a whole lot better.
"I wonder what they're doing in there?" Kirin thought out loud, breaking the long silence between us.
"I dunno," replied Frederick. "But I'll bet money that Peterson and the pointmen are dead. They're just lookin' for their bodies."
Kirin grinned. "Quit being so goddamn dramatic! "
"Yeah, fuck you."
The conversation ended there.
I didn't know who Frederick was referring to, but "Peterson and the pointmen" were almost certainly members of the unit. Apparently even the military men had fallen victim to whatever horrible thing that had infiltrated the complex.
I slurped up the rest of my chicken soup and drank my coffee from tin cup. Absently, I felt the field bandages that Harry Williamson had wrapped around my midsection. It still hurt near my stomach, but not bad--Williamson had done a helluva job at a field dressing.
I thanked Buddah for the marines--they sure new how to treat a victim! I made a mental decision for me to make a donation to the veterans' fund, should I get out of this situation alive.
I checked my watch.
2:47 AM, Earth Standard Time. I'd been up for about a half-an-hour now. It was LATE, and time to catch forty winks, I decided, as I relaxed and slumped against the wall. I closed my eyes and shut out everything else.

*****

I woke up to find everybody still awake. I knew marines were tough, but I didn't think they'd be tough enough to stay awake for more than eight hours. Stevens and Williamson weren't even back. Then I checked my watch. Only thirty minutes had passed since I nodded off.
"You snore loud, Ho." Said Frederick, still leaning against the security station wall. He grinned.
I grinned back. "Sorry."
He nodded, and returned to his normal stone-cold marine expression.
I checked for my pistol and extra clips, hoping to Buddah that they had not relieved me of them. Thankfully, my Glock 21 and my five extra clips were where they should be. I sighed in relief, but was brought violently back to my senses as I heard something hiss way off to my left.
"Shit" was all I could say as I stood up and unholstered my Glock.
Frederick and Kirin were way ahead of me as they stepped forward and cocked their weapons.
I looked over to where the hiss came from. Just as Williamson had described, a devil stood before us, all three meters' height of it looked absolutely horrifying. Its brown flesh had spikes jutting out of it, and its clawed hands clenched and unclenched in anticipation. I knew right then that it was one of the things that had attacked me the night before.
Adding to the horror of the situation, another one rounded a corner and joined it with an ear-splitting roar.
It was now or never.
I pulled the trigger frantically, pumping 9mm bullets into one of the monsters' left leg. The demon winced in pain, but kept advancing. The marines joined me in shooting at the monsters, ripping through their rough hides.
Yet they kept coming.
One raised its right hand, and I noticed a hole in the middle of the palm. I didn't have time to get a good look, though, as it started glowing red.
I stepped back as I heard a humming sound, like an electric generator powering up. I dodged as a fireball erupted from the thing's hand and flew right at Kirin. Kirin dodged left, but was too slow and the fireball clipped his right shoulder. He went down, screaming in pain. Part of his armor caught on fire.
I stopped firing and ran to help him as Frederick kept shooting.
The shooting stopped as I bent down to help him.
I heard two death howls come from behind me, and a sizzling sound, like bacon being fried. But the more important issue right now was Kirin's wounds. He had stopped yelling and was now only wincing as he pounded out the flames on his armor. A good chunk of flesh had been burned off of his shoulder; they looked like third degree burns.
Frederick pushed me aside and produced some bandages from one of the many packs on his belt. He knelt down and gently wrapped some around Kirin's shoulder, and in my eyes, neglecting to treat his burns.
Answering my questioning look, he said "Aloe treated bandages. They help treat burns."
I nodded in apprehension and walked over to inspect the corpses.

*****

Thanks for reading!
I have a small case of writers' block, so if you have any suggestions on which way the story should go, tell me! There are rules, though. I will not:
A)Add any sex parts.
B)Add TOO many new characters.
C)Kill off either Williamson or Chris Ho, as the story is told from their point of view.

I know that I ruined half the story for you--sorry, but I'm coming up short on original ideas, and the story isn't very original either; just a rehash of Doom's overall story. So this tale could use some original ideas, and this community has no shortage of them!




Old Post 11-01-01 01:01 #
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