The Hell Connection

OK, this is my first time at writing Doom fan fiction. I have been kicking this idea around in my mind for about 2 months now, so tell me what you think of this first chapter.

By the way, it happens right after you kill the icon of sin...


The Hell Connection
Chapter 1

It's dead. That horrible, ugly, techno-demon is dead. Thank God, if there is still a God. It's dead...it's dead...what's that noise? more demons teleporting in?...no...not more...so weak...wait...it's four marines, in bright shiny green armour...and 2 UAC medics in white armour... thank god it's over...


...Blackness...


Your mind quietly thinking back, back beyond the icon, beyond the arriving on Earth... You remember... the House of Pain... It had UAC pipes, what were they doing there? And the capitol of Hell... Pandemonium... it had the same layout as a UAC outpost... What the hell was going on?!?...


What's this?... Where are you?
White...
soft...
sterile...
must be...hospital?

"You're awake. The General will want to speak to you"

Dumb...clueless...nurses...


tell me what you think. Should i do a 2nd chapter?

Not bad, not bad at all, but a little short don't you think?

You have my permission to do a second chapter, but please make it a bit longer. And another suggestion: work it out in a writing programme before submitting it on this forum if you don't do that already.

this was just a "sample" of THC...i have more, but i need sufficent support.

PS: i will write whatever and whenever i feel.

let me rephrase the above...

This is about half of Chapter One. I was attempting writeing on a word prosser about a month ago, but i started to stray away. however i have decided to restart writing it.

i love anagrams...hehehe

this was just a "sample" of THC...i have more, but i need sufficent support.

PS: i will write whatever and whenever i feel.

Ok.
you've got my support as I think this is a fine way to begin a story.