Several maps later...
D stepped through the door. He felt a distinct stinging in his eyes and thought it would be a good time to helmet up.
He walked close, almost precariously so, to the pit in front of him, observing it's contents.
-Green shit. What were they doing on Phobos that would require a big pit of glowing green liquid?
D decided not to give a green shit about the green shit. Until he saw a body-suited human figure sitting in the corner. Not a zombie, because from what he had seen so far, zombies have no idea how to chill the fuck out, man.
The figure didn't move. D lifted his shotgun, and shot it at the ceiling, directly above whatever it was.
Showered in debris, the figure leapt up and screeched
-I don't wanna diiiiiiiie!
D laughed at his whiny high voice and replied
-Are you a man?
-Y.yyyyy…yes, and my name's Buddy!
-Buddy's not a marine name. What are you doing down there?
-Phobos security! I fell down here trying to find my way to the secret exit.
-OK Buddy, how long do you think your suit will last?
-A while! I've been down here for a few hours already. I was just having a nap…
-Look Buddy, I've got demons to waste and zombies to fuck up. Look, I'll go and find a rope or something cause whoever built this thing didn't have a grain of sense, cause it doesn't even have a god damn ladder.
D stepped back from the pit, ignoring Buddy's pleas to not leave him. He decided to move on.
The UAC security door started sliding up. Someone had opened it from the other side. The cacophony of grunts and screams was deafening, the smell was lethal, like the kind of farts he was accustomed to passing the morning after downing 10 beers on Mars' all-u-can-drink Tuesdays.
The door opened to a room full of zombie UAC security, hideous brown monsters, and even more grotesque pink ones. They all paused their orgy of acting like tards and looked straight at D.
-I am looking for a way back to Mars. I cannot find a way back to Mars.
Before they could even process the frustration in his voice, D had already blasted all of them to bits with his shotgun. The pink thing was now a semi-living heap, moaning. The brown monster was a brown pile of guts, and the UAC security were now spattered all over the walls.
The pink thing grunted and D pointed his gun at it.
- Hey baby, what's going on?
It gazed at him absentmindedly, the way something dying or something stupid does.
- No? No? NO?
The sound of the marine's maniacal laughter after he blew the pink thing's big head to component parts bounced off the walls off the room, only softened each bounce by the big fleshy pile of corpses on the floor.