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RDMonkey
Green Marine


Posts: 38
Registered: 06-09


This is the ending of Doom 64 with some slight story edits :P. Also my first Fan Fic. Hope you guys like it!


The teleporter throws you once again into an unknown land. But oddly enough, you see weapons and ammo instead of demons. One weapon stood out...a weapon made of flesh and bone. It has and inscription on it. "Unmaker". You saw that as you picked up the Unmaker, your Demon Keys glowed. Soon you felt an awesome power that you have never felt before.

The Gates open before you, and you see 3 large box shaped temples. Above are signs of evil posted on it. 3 colors, Blue, Red, and Purple. You realize that these are also symbols of the three demon keys you found! Then you hear the gruesome sounds of demons entering portals and wandering out of the temples.

Quickly you look for a way to use your key when you stumbled behind the temples and found a switch. As soon as you inserted the key, it fit, and large rumble of grinding gates, closing the portals and cutting off intruding demons. You use your Gatling Gun to exterminate the remaing demons and souls.

Suddenly, as the last demons was slain, you hear stone grinding again...A large altar rose from the ground, and walls lowerd, revealing a truely hideous sight.

It Made itself known, "You are the mortal who hasssss vanquisshed my minions. Your suffering will be exssstrodenary. Or you can join me and my dark army, to rid the universssse of your pathetic kin. Join me, the mother of all demonssss! Hahahaha!"

You looked into its bleeding eyes, and shouted in defiance, "I will never join you or your 'Dark Army'. You are nothing but garbage that needs to be destroyed!" You picked up your rocket launcher and raised it to the Mother Demon. It hissed violently, then raised it's four hands and out from them, large speeding fireballs!

You attempt to dodge them but they followed you! You jumped behind the Demon Switch and the fireballs exploded into furious flames. Fire trails soon followed the fireballs. These were easy to dodge. She spoke again, "HAHAHA! Run you pathetic mortal! I can keep this up forever!" she exclaimed as she launched more fire balls and flame trails. It was relentless and you could not continue for much longer. Your strength was dropping quickly.

Suddenly a Fireball that you had not seen had struck you in the back. You fell with shriek. Your armor had been burned and a burst of pain shocked your body.

As you lay there waiting to die, a mist surrounds you, engulfs you. You can hear the soft voice of your long dead mother, as she calls to you, "My son, don't be afraid...you have a heart of gold, and nerves of steel, and you can overcome all challenges." Her voice faded into the light. A burst of energy surged through your body. You no longer felt pain. You raised the Unmaker and aimed it at the viscous beast's head and pulled the trigger and held it. You didnt hear anything past a few shrieks and screams and a bloody explosion. You opened your eyes as they were shut during the massacre, and you saw nothing but flesh and blood on the ground. You looked up at the burning sky. You stood there.....and waited.....and realized that there was no way to escape hell except to go back out where you came. You did not have this strength. Instead, to ensure that no demon ever rises again...you remain in the bowels of hell.

The End

Last edited by RDMonkey on 09-12-10 at 22:33

Old Post 09-12-10 22:09 #
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Impie
Member


Posts: 359
Registered: 01-07


It's a very typical Doom fic: all you're doing is describing gameplay. No plot, no character, nothing for the reader to invest in. Read more fiction before trying again. I recommend Brahm Stoker, H P Lovecraft, Robert Bloch, Stephen King, and William Gibson.

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Old Post 09-21-10 11:50 #
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PaganRaven
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Posts: 81
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want full novel NAO.
Don't listen to impie. This is a buhjillion times better than all the twilight books and justin bieber combiened!

Old Post 10-12-10 23:14 #
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Per-Scan
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Posts: 290
Registered: 10-05


Quite a nice wee descriptor - could make a good intermission/ending screen in the game. One thing I notice though is that you change tense a couple of times. It's no biggie but it is a little inconsistent. Other than that good work. :)

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Old Post 10-12-10 23:54 #
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PaganRaven
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My dramatic reading of this story:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WKL3pRHyHJE

I EXPECT FULL ROYALTIES FOR THE AUDIOBOOKS WHEN YOU'RE A BESTSELLER

Old Post 10-13-10 05:47 #
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^
Genius! I particularly like your take on the Mother Demon (I was kinda waiting on you saying "Suffer like G did!").

PS: You need to tidy your room!! :P

Old Post 10-13-10 11:15 #
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RDMonkey
Green Marine


Posts: 38
Registered: 06-09


(sorry for small bump)

Thanks guys. This was my first. I tried hard. The part about the mother was made up.

Oh and PaganRaven, your vid was cool. And if you see a comment on your video, (Rendez333) that was me. It's my youtube name. Stay tuned for Doom 64: The Staging Area!

P.S. Impie, i do read other books, describing the game play was the whole point.

Old Post 12-26-10 00:04 #
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Impie
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Registered: 01-07



RDMonkey said:
P.S. Impie, i do read other books, describing the game play was the whole point.


Telling a story should be the whole point. Describing gameplay is for strategy guides.

Fanfic authors please take note.

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Old Post 01-16-11 10:27 #
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