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Maes
Why don't I have a custom title by now?!


Posts: 13676
Registered: 07-06


A zombie waited. The lights above him blinked and sparked out of the air. He was in the human base. He didn't see them, but had battled them now for years.
He was a zombie for fourteen years. When he was young he watched the spaceships and he said to dad "I want to be on the ships daddy."
Dad said "No! You will BE KILL BY HUMANS"
There was a time when he believed him. Then as he got oldered he stopped. But now in the space station base of the UAC he knew there were humans.
"This is you" his stomach crackered. "You must eat the humans!"
So the zombie gotted his axe and knocked down the door.
"HE GOING TO KILL US" said the humans
"I will shoot at him" said the space marine and he fired the rocket missiles. The zombie slashed at him and tried to cut him up. But then the ceiling fell and they were trapped and not able to kill.
"No! I must kill the humans" he shouted
The radio said "No, zombie. You are the humans"
And then the zombie was John Stalvern.

Old Post Jan 5 2012 19:15 #
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InfidelWaffle
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I laughed, and I cried. Such an amazing story.

Old Post Jan 9 2012 04:09 #
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kristus
Megablast!


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tl;dr

Old Post Jan 9 2012 09:34 #
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Maes
Why don't I have a custom title by now?!


Posts: 13676
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The demons waited. The lights above them blinked and sparked out of the air. They were in the human base. They didn't see them, but had battled them now for years. Their warnings to the Spider Mastrmind were not listenend to and now it was too late. Far too late for now, anyway.

They were demons for fourteen years. When they were young they watched the spaceships and they said to dad "We want to be on the ships daddy."
Dad said "No! You will BE KILL BY HUMANS"

There was a time when they believed him. Then as they got oldered they stopped. But now in the space station base of the UAC they knew there were humans.

"This is the Spider Mastermind" their hive mind crackered. "You must fight the humans!"

So the demons gotted their fireballs and claws and knocked down the door. "THEY GOING TO KILL US" said the humans

"I will shoot at them" said the space marine and he fired the rocket missiles. The demons fireballed at him and tried to burn him down. But then the ceiling fell and they were trapped and not able to kill.

"No! We must kill the humans" they shouted
The mastermind said "No, demons. You are the humans"
And then the demons were John Stalvern.

Last edited by Maes on Jan 9 2012 at 17:35

Old Post Jan 9 2012 10:46 #
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Danarchy
YOU CAN'T CUT BACK ON FUNDING! YOU WILL REGRET THIS!


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Welp.

Old Post Jan 12 2012 03:21 #
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GreyGhost
I have a custom title now!


Posts: 9270
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.eibmoz a saw nhoJ neht dnA
"snomed eht era uoY .nhoJ ,oN" dias oidar ehT
detuohs eh "snomed eht llik tsum I !oN"
.llik ot elba ton dna deppart erew yeht dna llef gniliec eht neht tuB .pu mih welb ot diert dna mih ta deamsalp nhoJ .selissim tekcor eht derif eh dna nomedrebyc eht dias "mih ta toohs lliw I"
snomed eht dias "SU LLIK OT GNIOG EH"
.llaw eht pu welb dna elfir amslap sih dettog nhoJ oS
"!snomed eht thgif tsum uoY" .derekcarc oidar eht "nosoJ si sihT"
.snomed erew ereht wenk eh CAU eht fo esab noitats ecaps eht ni won tuB .deppots eh deredlo tog eh sa nehT .mih deveileb eh nehw emit a saw erehT
"SNOMED YB LLIK EB lliw uoY !oN" dias daD
".yddad spihs eht no eb ot tnaw I" dad ot dias eh dna spihsecaps eht dehctaw eh gnuoy saw eh nehW .sraey neetruof rof eniram ecaps a saw nhoJ
.yawyna ,won rof etal oot raF .etal oot saw ti won dna ot dnenetsil ton erew nosoJ lenreC ot sgninraw siH .sraey rof won meht detcepxe deh tub ,meht ees t'ndid eH .esab eht ni snomed erew erehT .ria eht fo tuo dekraps dna deknilb mih evoba sthgil ehT .detiaw nrevlatS nhoJ

Old Post Jan 12 2012 12:01 #
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DoomUK
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GreyGhost said:
.eibmoz a saw nhoJ neht dnA
"snomed eht era uoY .nhoJ ,oN" dias oidar ehT
detuohs eh "snomed eht llik tsum I !oN"
.llik ot elba ton dna deppart erew yeht dna llef gniliec eht neht tuB .pu mih welb ot diert dna mih ta deamsalp nhoJ .selissim tekcor eht derif eh dna nomedrebyc eht dias "mih ta toohs lliw I"
snomed eht dias "SU LLIK OT GNIOG EH"
.llaw eht pu welb dna elfir amslap sih dettog nhoJ oS
"!snomed eht thgif tsum uoY" .derekcarc oidar eht "nosoJ si sihT"
.snomed erew ereht wenk eh CAU eht fo esab noitats ecaps eht ni won tuB .deppots eh deredlo tog eh sa nehT .mih deveileb eh nehw emit a saw erehT
"SNOMED YB LLIK EB lliw uoY !oN" dias daD
".yddad spihs eht no eb ot tnaw I" dad ot dias eh dna spihsecaps eht dehctaw eh gnuoy saw eh nehW .sraey neetruof rof eniram ecaps a saw nhoJ
.yawyna ,won rof etal oot raF .etal oot saw ti won dna ot dnenetsil ton erew nosoJ lenreC ot sgninraw siH .sraey rof won meht detcepxe deh tub ,meht ees t'ndid eH .esab eht ni snomed erew erehT .ria eht fo tuo dekraps dna deknilb mih evoba sthgil ehT .detiaw nrevlatS nhoJ

Please tell me you copypasted that from somewhere.

Old Post Jan 12 2012 20:33 #
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Maes
Why don't I have a custom title by now?!


Posts: 13676
Registered: 07-06


Notepad++'s magic text tools can work miracles ;-)

Though I'd give him more street cred if he painstakingly typed it in :-p

Old Post Jan 12 2012 22:28 #
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HavoX
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Maes said:
Notepad++'s magic text tools can work miracles ;-)

Hey, that's cheating! Typing it backwards by hand is manly. :P

Old Post Jan 12 2012 22:33 #
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GreyGhost
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Don't use Notepad++ so I'll let you draw your own conclusions. ;-)

Old Post Jan 12 2012 23:50 #
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Phml
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I'm putting my money on some super secret XWE command.

Old Post Jan 13 2012 14:37 #
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Memfis
Honestly, semen doesn't taste that bad.


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Maes, you should record your reading of this.

Old Post Jan 13 2012 18:26 #
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Maes
Why don't I have a custom title by now?!


Posts: 13676
Registered: 07-06


Of the inverse text? :-p

At most I can do the other two, or try some sort of backwards record secret message ;-)

Edit I don't know if I should be proud of those...

A Zombie Waited

The Demons Waited

Inverse Repercussions Of Evil

Last edited by Maes on Jan 13 2012 at 23:17

Old Post Jan 13 2012 22:41 #
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steuntron
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Posts: 52
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@inverse....

Maes = Icon of Sin ?!

Old Post Jan 25 2012 12:38 #
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Maes
Why don't I have a custom title by now?!


Posts: 13676
Registered: 07-06


Old Post Jan 25 2012 13:30 #
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printz
CRAZY DUMB ZEALOT


Posts: 9190
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Have I mentioned your voice sounds like Doomguy's?

Old Post Jan 25 2012 13:44 #
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Mexican Doomguy
Banned


Posts: 126
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Maes said:
The demons waited. The lights above them blinked and sparked out of the air. They were in the human base. They didn't see them, but had battled them now for years. Their warnings to the Spider Mastrmind were not listenend to and now it was too late. Far too late for now, anyway.

They were demons for fourteen years. When they were young they watched the spaceships and they said to dad "We want to be on the ships daddy."
Dad said "No! You will BE KILL BY HUMANS"

There was a time when they believed him. Then as they got oldered they stopped. But now in the space station base of the UAC they knew there were humans.

"This is the Spider Mastermind" their hive mind crackered. "You must fight the humans!"

So the demons gotted their fireballs and claws and knocked down the door. "THEY GOING TO KILL US" said the humans

"I will shoot at them" said the space marine and he fired the rocket missiles. The demons fireballed at him and tried to burn him down. But then the ceiling fell and they were trapped and not able to kill.

"No! We must kill the humans" they shouted
The mastermind said "No, demons. You are the humans"
And then the demons were John Stalvern.

I'm gonna sound a bit noobish but, who the hell is John Stalvern?
Is he a DOOM related character? Or is he from another off-topic dimension?

Old Post Jan 30 2012 19:47 #
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TheDarkArchon
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Posts: 2332
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Mexican Doomguy said:
I'm gonna sound a bit noobish but, who the hell is John Stalvern?
Is he a DOOM related character? Or is he from another off-topic dimension?

Google "Doom: Repercussions of Evil". Also, welcome to 2009.

Old Post Jan 30 2012 19:57 #
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Mexican Doomguy
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TheDarkArchon said:
Google "Doom: Repercussions of Evil". Also, welcome to 2009.

OMG! I didn't know that it was a meme!
Is the story good enough to read it?

I mena, I try to be a hardcore fan, but I don't want to waste my time in cheap fan fics.

Old Post Jan 30 2012 20:25 #
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Maes
Why don't I have a custom title by now?!


Posts: 13676
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If you make a Spanish translation of the fanfic, I will read it.

Old Post Jan 30 2012 20:34 #
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Mexican Doomguy
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Posts: 126
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Maes said:
If you make a Spanish translation of the fanfic, I will read it.

Do you speak spanish?

I could to that, if I get enough time...

Old Post Jan 30 2012 21:17 #
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Z0k
Member


Posts: 250
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Just because i want Maes Read it in spanish lol

Un zombie esperaba. las luces encima de el parpadearon y se desataron en el aire. el estaba en la base humana, el no los habia visto, pero había luchado contra ellos desde hace años.

El era un zombie por 14 años. cuando el era joven miraba las naves espaciales y el le dijo a su padre "quiero estar en esas naves papi"

Su padre dijo: No! tu podrias ser asesinado por los humanos!"
Hubo un tiempo cuando el le creeyo a su padre. pero ahora el crecio y paro de creerle. pero ahora en la base espacial de la UAC el sabia que habia humanos ahi.

asi que el Zombie tomo su hacha y tiro abajo la puerta
"el nos va matar!" dijeron los humanos
"yo le disparare" dijo el space marine y disparo sus cohetes.

el zombie lo rasguño e intento cortarlo, pero entonces el techo se cayo y ellos estaban atrapados y sin poder matarse.
"No! yo debo matar los humanos" el grito
la radio dijo "No zombie, tu eres los humanos"
y Entonces el zombie era Jonh Stalvern

Last edited by Z0k on Feb 22 2012 at 05:22

Old Post Feb 21 2012 04:58 #
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Maes
Why don't I have a custom title by now?!


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El_Zombie.ogg

Old Post Feb 21 2012 20:56 #
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Vordakk
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Very cool accent, Maes. Is it Greek?

Old Post Feb 23 2012 03:11 #
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Z0k
Member


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Lol nice maes i really enjoy it listening on spanish ** was awesome i think the most epic part was where you say:

"No! tu podrias ser asesinado por los humanos!"
"No! yo debo matar los humanos"

Your accent made it sound awesome

Old Post Feb 23 2012 05:06 #
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printz
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If someone makes an action RPG mod for Doom, with voice acting, I want Maes to play the Doomguy.

Old Post Feb 23 2012 09:07 #
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Maes
Why don't I have a custom title by now?!


Posts: 13676
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@Vordakk: Italo-Greek. I guess this helps me a bit with certain words and sounds (I can understand Spanish perfectly, but when read with an Italian mindset it sounds weird).

@Z0k: well, as half-Italian I had no problem understanding it, but reading it "properly" is another matter. Spanish may seem the same as Italian in some parts, the pronunciation may be close sometimes, but can also sound entirely different. As you can see, I had to go from memory to try and sound European Spanish with all those th- sounds, but I exaggerated the h- sounds (or non-sounds?) making it sound more like Tuscan Italian :-p It's a bit weird, because e.g. Greek has a th- and h-/kh- sound, while Italian doesn't.

@printz: Well, there is this one, but I "only" got a role as a slavic-sounding bastard sergeant, while other would-be VAs didn't chime in so far, AFAIK :-(

Old Post Feb 23 2012 12:13 #
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