The 'worst games ever' thread

Gez said:

Real life.

On the contrary, its graphic engine still hasn't been beat by newer ones, even after all these years.

Urban Space Cowboy said:

On the contrary, its graphic engine still hasn't been beat by newer ones, even after all these years.

Its gameplay still sucks shit through a swirly straw.

geekmarine said:

"Enter the Matrix" was a game that disappointed on every possible level. I was hyped as hell - a game set in the Matrix? Awesome! Bullet time, kung fu, gun battles... All of that stuff should have made for an awesome game. What we got, though, was a lame title featuring total nobodies (I mean you have a Matrix game, you assume you get to play as Neo, right?), the graphics were utter shit, the gameplay sucked, and it was buggy as hell. I remember trying to convince myself that I actually liked that game for so long. Recently I went back and tried to replay it, and I was baffled that I ever made it past the first level without smashing the game disc it sucked so bad.

Thankfully, we eventually got "Path of Neo," which took the concept of a Matrix game and did it right. Wasn't "Game of the Year" contender or anything, but it was a decent game, and after my experience with "Enter the Matrix," I have to say I really enjoyed it.

Every game released by Atari in the past two and a half decades or so sucked (with a few exceptions here and there), so I don't see how you could've possibly been disappointed by Enter the Matrix, unless you had no idea about the state of Atari at the time, or are insanely optimistic.

AlekTheNerd said:

Its gameplay still sucks shit through a swirly straw.

dude, it has doom as a minigame, how cool is that?!

dew said:

dude, it has doom as a minigame, how cool is that?!

Just don't take it to school with you.

dew said:

dude, it has doom as a minigame, how cool is that?!

I know, plus there's so many tucking extra little features and things you can pick up and interact with. The physics, lighting and texturing are so fucking mind-blowing, I can't even comprehend it. And the thing is optimized so well, it runs at a constant FPS that never lags.

Scottland89 said:

[Duke Nukem Forever] wasn't a bad game, just far too over hyped. If it didn't have Duke Nukem on it, or as publised history on it, probably would of got better reviews. There are worse games, a lot worse.

youtube.com/watch?v=jS7PCcvVoPI#t=5m47s]Duke Nukem Forever is a fucking embarrassment to video games as a medium.

Fuck anyone who defends this horrible shit.

Captain Red said:

youtube.com/watch?v=jS7PCcvVoPI#t=5m47s]Duke Nukem Forever is a fucking embarrassment to video games as a medium.

Fuck anyone who defends this horrible shit.

DNF might be a spawn of the patriarchy, but at least it's not that Hitler incarnate Brutal Doom, which makes us look bad!

Brutal Doom isn't being sold for money.

AlekTheNerd said:

Every game released by Atari in the past two and a half decades or so sucked (with a few exceptions here and there), so I don't see how you could've possibly been disappointed by Enter the Matrix, unless you had no idea about the state of Atari at the time, or are insanely optimistic.

I was in high school/college at around the time this game came out. I didn't really pay attention to publisher trends, so I had no idea Atari was such a shit factory. Hell, I don't even think I was consciously aware that Atari even was publishing the game. All I knew was that The Matrix would make a badass setting for a video game if done right.

Captain Red said:

youtube.com/watch?v=jS7PCcvVoPI#t=5m47s]Duke Nukem Forever is a fucking embarrassment to video games as a medium.

Fuck anyone who defends this horrible shit.

I can't say DNF is a game I would ever want to play again. I didn't even finish it. But considering the legendary development hell it went through, it's really not that bad.

At least it's not a horribly broken piece of software, like Rage was (and still is for some). Now there's a game I'm tempted to make a lengthy post about, were it not for shooting things being a shitload of fun. Solid combat (and some beautiful art direction) redeems the game by the skin of it's teeth.

DoomUK said:

I can't say DNF is a game I would ever want to play again. I didn't even finish it. But considering the legendary development hell it went through, it's really not that bad.

In the eyes of the developer: yes. In the eyes of the consumer: hell no.

Captain Red said:

youtube.com/watch?v=jS7PCcvVoPI#t=5m47s]Duke Nukem Forever is a fucking embarrassment to video games as a medium.

Fuck anyone who defends this horrible shit.

Ok want to put out 3 things on this.

"People are complaining that this doesn't play like the original Duke Nukem Forever. Doom 3 doesn't play like the original doom......" Even to take away the possible slip of the tougne, we're right, it doesn't play like the 1998 (or 1999, can't remember) DNF trailer, 2001 trailer or the version that guy got to play 2 or 3 years before it was released, and they looked awesome.

Lack of parody? We expect duke to repeat the stuff he said in Duke 3D cause he also said them in the psx game he references, plus there are more than the video gives credit. Not played out since it came out so can't remember them all but there was Halo reference (power armour joke) a stupid arsehole sidekick (like some late 90s and early 2000 movies had) and even one on Duke himself ("What are you waiting on, Hanakua" and yes I know I miss spelt it)

Lastly he's complaining that games get high scores cause they are fun? Isn't that the point of games' that they are fun? DNF was alright and I would of given 6 or 7 out of 10, but I wouldn't dock it points die to it's morality, It's Duke Nukem, not Jesus Christ! If it was a serious game about the Buddha filled with him raping and pillaging villages full of hot lesbians while shouting offensive 1 liners, yeah that might dock a lot of points due to morality cause we don't expect the Buddha to do that, and it's not in his nature. What Duke does in DNF sounds a lot like Duke.

It ain't a good game, but it's better than most people say. But that is my damned to go to hell 2 cents.

It's not the lack of polish the bothers me.

Mechanically, Duke Nukem Forever is a below average shooter. When you actually get to shoot things outside of turret sections it's sort of OK. The Shotgun and The Ripper have nice meaty sound effects and the enemies are fun to shoot at, even if you only ever fight three at a time (WTF?). It's all buried under a tone of terrible map design and poorly thought out set pieces that are pretty obviously there because the developers thought "hey popular game X has that! we should have that to!" but from a pure gameplay stand point, I've played worse.

It's just that the way this game presents women is... creepy. I mean, what is the player supposed to think when it's reviled that duke was get a BJ from two girls in school girl outfits after the opening sequence? "Boy it sure is awesome being duke! LOL!"? And then there's The Hive. Have you gone back at watched that shit? I'd feel less embarrassed if my mother/sister/girlfriend/wife walked in on me watching pornography then playing that part of the game. If you didn't find that whole section uncomfortable then, and I'm not going to mince words here: There might be something wrong with you.

On top of that is the fact that 'gamers' rarely seem to mention it when they list what wrong with this game, as if it'd be fine if the game otherwise had more polish and better shooting mechanics.

It's this kind of thing that highlights what's wrong with my favorite pass time as a whole and why it's still pretty understandable for someone to laugh at you and call you a man child if you say you like video games.

There's no hyperbole when I call it a Fucking embarrassment

Scottland89 said:

Lastly he's complaining that games get high scores cause they are fun? Isn't that the point of games' that they are fun?

This is an aside, and it's too late in the evening here to expand on this too much, but saying Games are supposed to be fun is like saying songs are supposed to be catchy and pictures are supposed to be pretty.

The goal of a game should be "to be worth playing".

Stronghold 3 and Diablo 3 were massive disappointments, but in different aspects. Stronghold 3 was rushed and continued to abandon its heritage while Diablo 3 abandoned its heritage with reckless glee and never looked back.

TheCupboard said:

Diablo 3 abandoned its heritage with reckless glee and never looked back.

Not to mention the forced and painful constant internet requirements.

I suppose the best way to settle it is it depends on how you go into it. It's defo not a game I want to demonstrate as a piece of art, when we are trying to price gaming as an art form, but if your willing to dumb down for it, it's not bad. I love both complex and meaningful games, as well as dumbed down stuff. Movies are the same, there are some great masterpieces, and some that are a dumb down to enjoy experience (e.g. Hot Tub Time Machine).

Also didn't Duke 3D have a hive section which had topless women too similar to DNF, but it didn't have the boob slapping switch?

You will be a child for as long as you're worried people might call you one, regardless if video games are designed not to offend your sensibilities.

Moving from twelve years old "titties, gore and loud music!" themes to sixteen years old "racism, evil corporations and PC social commentary!" themes isn't much of an improvement for any adult who isn't intellectually stunted. Anyone who takes Spec Ops: The Line at face value and feels shameful playing DNF might as well climb on a rooftop and yell "my vision of the world has stopped evolving somewhere in my highschool years".

Regardless, either of these choices should exist, and neither of these choices should be exclusive. Enlightenment comes from exposure, not isolation.

Games should be fun, and the Internet should stop validating the prolongation of teenagehood well into the twenties. Keep your angst off my tubes.

Scottland89 said:

Also didn't Duke 3D have a hive section which had topless women too similar to DNF, but it didn't have the boob slapping switch?

It did.

People like to shoehorn DNF's puerile tastelessness into their argument because they already think it's a bad game. They forget, or conveniently ignore the fact that Duke3D was never intended to intellectually stimulate the player.

Also, what Phml said.

Did you honestly find the Hive parts of DNF 'Fun'?

I don't expect to be intellectually stimulated, but I like to be not feel like I need to scrub the shame of with steel wool after playing a "comedy shooter".

Captain Red said:

Did you honestly find the Hive parts of DNF 'Fun'?

No more or less fun than anything else in the game.

The tastelessness didn't affect me either way, because I'm a big boy and I'm neither thrilled nor offended by that sort of thing. It's just part of the package, and I went along with it.

Memfis said:

How did you play it? I had this game but it wouldn't run on my Windows XP.

Yonks ago on a win98 box. Be thankful it didn't run, heh.

The Hive level was just plain disturbing to say the least one of the main things that really lowered the rating of the game for me, along with; 2 weapon switch and regen health. I didn't think the rest of the game was too bad.

Captain Red said:

It's just that the way this game presents women is... creepy. I mean, what is the player supposed to think when it's reviled that duke was get a BJ from two girls in school girl outfits after the opening sequence? "Boy it sure is awesome being duke! LOL!"? And then there's The Hive. Have you gone back at watched that shit? I'd feel less embarrassed if my mother/sister/girlfriend/wife walked in on me watching pornography then playing that part of the game. If you didn't find that whole section uncomfortable then, and I'm not going to mince words here: There might be something wrong with you.

Would you kindly mince words in the future? Your self-righteous posting is upsetting me.

Maybe I am being self-righteous but it's frustrating when people act this kind of thing isn't worth criticizing because it's a video game.

For the record, I don't want it banned because it offends my PC sensibilities or whatever, but I will say that is says unflattering things about the people who made it.

Incidentally, I don't actually consider it the worst game ever...

Not bothering to read the thread so that my POV doesn't get lost in my reactions to what other people have said. These are all "big disappointments" rather than "worst games", really:

1) Spore - it looked awesome and then we got something cutesy and surprisingly shallow. Loved the cell stage, but found the WoW-lite second stage pretty dull and couldn't convince myself to get through the tribal stage at all. Fortunately I was using the third of somebodies DRM-limited installs and never spent any money on it myself :P

2) World of Warcraft - I loved Warcraft 3 and figured some sort of story-driven RPG in the world would be great. Instead I got my first real exposure to grinding and fetch quests without end. I'd played Baldur's Gate on the Gamecube and some other RPGs before, but the story-driven progression kept them interesting enough, but I'm not a big RPG fan, all told, so I lost interest quickly, never played another MMO since. Fortunately it was my brother's game so I didn't need to waste any of my own money on it.

3) Some Bionicle game on the PS2 - I was young enough to think the Lego models were pretty cool and I enjoyed making the models (and other Lego stuff), plus the story line, televised adverts and other stuff appealed to me. Then I played this game. To say they wasted a good premise and concept is a strong understatement, in my book. A short series of linear "challenges", with no actual combat past glorified ping pong with "magic". If ever I wanted an in-depth RPG, this was probably it. Didn't get it, finished it in about 3 hours and sold it ASAP... Made most of my money back, IIRC.

4) Duke Nukem Forever - I imagine this will crop up a lot, in this thread. In my mind this isn't a bad game. It is, however, a massive disappointment, but it took me playing through Duke Nukem 3D: Megaton Edition last month to realise why. Duke 3D Megaton Edition (with the notable exception of Nuclear Winter) has fantastic level design. Truly spectacular in fact. Probably the best z-axis usage in a game and now that Duke 3D has a control scheme much like any other FPS in an easily accessible package, I got to really enjoy that. DNF is entirely linear, largely flat and very set-piece oriented. It's like CoD reskinned as Duke Nukem. It also has painful loading times on the Xbox 360. Otherwise it's reasonably fun and amusing enough. I do plan to get through it on Insane one day, but whether I actually do it or not...

5) Midnight Club and TimeSplitters - these two both disappointed me for the same reason, hence the joint mention. MC2 and TS2 are some of the most fun I've ever had on the PS2. These two originals show how much those games had to evolve to be good, as they are both quite dull and slow compared to their sequels (which I got first) - naturally, these two both got sold almost as soon as I'd realise my error.

6) Forza Horizon, Midnight Club: LA and the latest Need for Speed titles (I don't own any new NFS, but I've seen enough to validate this complaint) - why, oh why, do modern, console-based racers not have split-screen? Forza 3 and 4 have it! The PS2 MC and NFS games have it, so why not the Xbox 360 ones? I can live with the number of players being limited to 2 when split-screen is there (although Nintendo at least understand that 4 is really the way to go), but not having it all seems inexcusable. These otherwise good games missing one vital feature just seems stupid to me.

7) NFS: Carbon - The game that finally put me off of Need For Speed titles for good. I liked 2, 3: Most Wanted, Porsche, Underground and Underground 2. I kind of enjoyed Most Wanted (not the same as 3, oddly) but never bothered getting too far into it. Carbon was when I realised these games were getting creatively bankrupt and just being pushed out yearly because people will buy them - possibly the first time I'd seen the thing that killed Guitar Hero (and makes CoD purchases for me very difficult to justify) in action.

8) Worms 3D - I love the 2D Worms games. They did not translate well into 3D at all. The franchise ended with World Party for me, as that's all the worms I'll ever need.


I think that's all of the major gaming disappointments I've experienced in my time. Probably at least one I've missed, but still, who needs a giant list from me, really?

Trespasser is the first thing that comes to my mind.

I don't buy bad games so I don't have much experience with them. The worst game I owned was called Heavy Shreddin' for the NES. I got it for my birthday and it was just awful.

Captain Red said:

It's just that the way this game presents women is... creepy. I mean, what is the player supposed to think when it's reviled that duke was get a BJ from two girls in school girl outfits after the opening sequence? "Boy it sure is awesome being duke! LOL!"? And then there's The Hive. Have you gone back at watched that shit? I'd feel less embarrassed if my mother/sister/girlfriend/wife walked in on me watching pornography then playing that part of the game. If you didn't find that whole section uncomfortable then, and I'm not going to mince words here: There might be something wrong with you.

I remember when that idiot from Dinosaur Comics was bitching becasue the Plinkett reviews weren't something he could show his grandmother.

@Phobus: Carbon was when NFS finally fell off the cliff. Personally I regard Most Wanted 2005 as the apex of the franchise as it had everything that made NFS class. Carbon was basically a mission pack - it was about 25% of MW's size and the ending left me completely cold.

EA have been flinging shit at a wall to see what sticks with the franchise ever since. Same as with Burnout.

As for split-screen, that's two people skavving off the one copy of the game. Bad for business.

Oh, and as for the worst game ever: