Murder impulse

Do you ever fantasize about the act of murder? Not of an innocent person, but of someone who would actually end your life unless you end theirs first? Or killing to defend a loved one or even a stranger? I don't find this impulse popping up too often, but it has been a curiosity for a good chunk of my life, and as an adult I contemplate the emotional response. Would I handle it nonchalantly? Would it be devastating? Would I take pride in having protected myself/others? More than likely, I'll never find out, which is fine. But I do find myself wondering how I would behave in such a situation, whether I could actually do it, how I would do it, etc. Thoughts? And by the way, anyone who wants to flash the psychopath card can just excuse themselves from the conversation, as this is an attempt to discuss an aspect of the human condition, not pointlessly glorify violence.

I think it depends a lot on the circumstances. I think most of us would kill someone who is obviously a threat (to our friends, family...) without a doubt. Now, one thing is acting according to life-threatening events (like an armed robber), but fantasizing about it? No, I've done it once or twice, but the idea is so repulsive for me that even merely thinking about it makes me sick.

killing people is awesome

This is a nightmare scenario. And regarding vengeance, it just doesn't work out. You don't want the person dead, you just want it immobilized and taught a lesson.

If my life were truly in danger or I felt my life was at stake I like to believe that I would be motivated enough. Despite having thought about such a scenario I have never been in that situation and can't guarantee I would be as steadfast as needed.

[dream tangent]
I once had a dream where I had to duel two separate individuals using swords (fencing?). One of them was a person I went to high school with and I remember that we had no choice but to fight until death. In the first duel I attacked my opponent voraciously and repeatedly, giving him no chance to strike back. I still remember the look of surprise and fear as he realized he wouldn't be able to counter me for much longer. A few swings later and I landed my sword through his upper right shoulder and sliced him down to his abdomen, whereas he fell over and went limp. This was followed by a second duel that turned out to be my college roommate and good friend at the time. Place in the same situation, I showed the same resolve in attacking my opponent and eventually winning out by dealing the same type of blow. This time however my opponent fell slowly to the gound, smiling and mutter "Good one man....good one..". I woke up shortly afterwards and had a dreadful feeling hanging over me for the rest of the day. I never ever wanted to feel like that again.
[/dream tangent]

In short, if I was pushed (via immediate threat, life/death situation) I'd like to imagine I have the resolve to defend myself. I feel that psychologically, unless I could cut myself off from thinking about it, it would ruin me and I would focus too much on the consequences of my actions, the life of which I took, and how their death affected their loved ones or significant figures in their lives.

One of those few times having a high level of empathy does not work out well :[

GoatLord said:

Do you ever fantasize about the act of murder? Not of an innocent person, but of someone who would actually end your life unless you end theirs first? Or killing to defend a loved one or even a stranger

That is not murder.

This topic brings back some uncomfortable memories for me, seeing that I was at one point on the knife edge of actually hurting a person, and I can honestly say probably with enough force to kill them.
Well, when I first met my fiancée two years ago, she took the brave decision to tell me that she had been abused by her grandfather between the ages of 11-13. The details of which, I will not go into. After a year of us being together, she decided to go to the police and report him, as now she felt strong enough to go through interviews, trial etc.
At this point, I could see how scared she was of him, real fear of someone, she couldn't go to the local shop, as his house was right next to it, and whenever she saw him, she would start shaking, and at one point got hysterical when we walked into a corner shop, and he was in one of the isle's.
I had very dark thoughts at this point. I felt that if he simply stopped living, that my fiancée could go on and live a normal life, not worrying about him or jumping at loud noises as a side effect of her abuse. I thought about how to kill him clinically, without any remorse or pity. I felt nothing for him, only contempt in what he had done. Only one thing stopped my thoughts, after a few months of having them, and funnily enough, it was my fiancée:

"I hope he gets found guilty, so everyone can see him for the monster that he is, and I'll finally have my justice."

And that's what stopped my thoughts. I was foolish to think that murder was the answer, but when you are in a desperate situation, you are not thinking straight, and any idea, no matter how extreme, to help, sounds good. If I had gone ahead, I might have ended up in prison myself, and at worst, denied my fiancée her justice, by essentially helping the dirty fucker avoid his punishment, keeping his character intact. But I didn't, and now he's serving eight years in a "special" prison, to avoid getting a arse hole like a doughnut, or getting bashed six ways to hell by the lags at every opportunity. I've never told my fiancée about these thoughts and never will, as I don't want her to think of me being capable of something like murder, no mater how honourable I might have thought my actions were.

TL:DR Murder is never the answer, but sometimes, it may seem like it.

I suppose I forgot that "murder" and "killing out of self defense" are not synonymous. FreddBoy, that was a very interesting story.

I used to fantasize pushing my step-father down a flight of stairs, sure. There's a word for it... Intrusive Thoughts. Everyone has these kinds of morbid thoughts, whether they'd like to admit it, but of course only a minority of people actually act them out.

GoatLord said:

Do you ever fantasize about the act of murder? Not of an innocent person, but of someone who would actually end your life unless you end theirs first? Or killing to defend a loved one or even a stranger? I don't find this impulse popping up too often, but it has been a curiosity for a good chunk of my life, and as an adult I contemplate the emotional response. Would I handle it nonchalantly? Would it be devastating? Would I take pride in having protected myself/others? More than likely, I'll never find out, which is fine. But I do find myself wondering how I would behave in such a situation, whether I could actually do it, how I would do it, etc. Thoughts? And by the way, anyone who wants to flash the psychopath card can just excuse themselves from the conversation, as this is an attempt to discuss an aspect of the human condition, not pointlessly glorify violence.

I fantasize about using my car to hit motorcyclists. GTA Games get that impulse out of me.

Quite often I get the urge to suffocate cute, furry animals. Come to think of it, I get the urge to strangle things in general. Scary, I know.

After playing "murder simulations" for years, politicians and the press tell me that I am a coiled spring of hatefully violent, blood fuelled anger waiting to erupt and take the life of anyone nearby in the most sadistic and gruesome manner imaginable at the drop of a hat.

I'm not.

I'm not sure that I have ever had the kind of thoughts being described in this thread; certainly not to any even slightly worrying level where I may have thought "that thought was a a bit wild/out of control/excessive".

I dont remember what the proper english name was for that symptom but I use words: "compulsory thoughts" Those are quite common and people often think its unusual to have them, when all humans have them.

The only bastard I feel like killing is that camping twat that has been there all match, and when I get round to it I feel a great wave relief come over me...

But in real life? Never, I find violent games to be great therapy! I haven't even thought about killing anything real in ages!

I don't believe in murder but I'd do it if I knew I could get away with it.

Nomad said:

I used to fantasize pushing my step-father down a flight of stairs, sure. There's a word for it... Intrusive Thoughts. Everyone has these kinds of morbid thoughts, whether they'd like to admit it, but of course only a minority of people actually act them out.

Waffenak said:

I dont remember what the proper english name was for that symptom but I use words: "compulsory thoughts" Those are quite common and people often think its unusual to have them, when all humans have them.

But if somebody's having repeated thoughts involving a realistically depicted murder, that would be bad.

Fortunately I don't have a tendency to violent thoughts. The only "intrusive" or "compulsory" obsessive thoughts I have are thoughts telling me: "Do nothing, just do nothing. Don't spoil the situation by doing anything. Everybody and everything will be better if you do nothing." That's probably how I've become an extreme introvert and also a very lazy person in my real life.

Once or several times I've willingly attempted, but failed to even imagine how it'd be to lethally harm someone real. I must be pacifistic. Even though I don't mind blood at all, I value all living beings too much to harm them. I can't even kill insects or spiders or mosquitos. I feel sorry for them and strongly avoid harming them myself, and if I can, I just toss them away or use a chemical agent to only repel them. Maybe that's why I like Doom and games, the enemies look so unreal and "non-living" that I can enjoy slaughtering them endlessly.

However I think I would have the balls to use violence if I had to defend myself (or somebody else) from death or something comparably bad. Although I doubt how the situation would turn out in practice. I'm a thin, low-in-height young adult man with pretty weak muscles. :)

40oz said:

killing people is awesome

Yes. I agree with you and Goatlord on this.

I've thought about it. Like, if I were in a struggle for my life and felt there was no way out but to end the other person's life. If I had to do it by hand, almost certainly no. I mean, I can hurt a person, sure, but I just have a hard time imagining following through, having the determination to actually use enough force to intentionally kill someone. Like, if I were using a knife or a sword, I almost certainly know I'd probably hold myself back subconsciously, and thus not generate enough force to really penetrate the person and inflict a lethal blow. The thought of killing just sends this wave of nausea through me on a primal level. Of course, if I were all raged out and had adrenaline pumping, it might be different, but yeah, I feel like I'd probably be fighting back against my own actions.

Now a gun, that's a different matter, as it depersonalizes the experience, and I think I'd probably have an easier time pulling the trigger - though even then, there's a good chance I'd hesitate, desperately looking for another way out until it's too late, so even that could potentially be problematic. And even if I did fire, my aim would probably be terrible and I'd be just as likely to hit a non-vital area if I hit at all.

Of course, I've never been in a life-or-death situation like that, so honestly, I have no idea how I'd actually act in that situation. I'm just going off of what I know about myself - as much as I have no problem ending someone's life in a game, or cheering the villain's death in a movie, I don't know if I have it in me to do the deed myself.

Enjay said:

After playing "murder simulations" for years, politicians and the press tell me that I am a coiled spring of hatefully violent, blood fuelled anger waiting to erupt and take the life of anyone nearby in the most sadistic and gruesome manner imaginable at the drop of a hat.

I am, but I always have been aggressive. Then again, as anybody who's looked in blogs recently knows, it's not just other people I'd have a go at killing if the mood took me strongly enough.

Typical first person shooter forum topic.

Intrusive thoughts are when you think things that bring you distress that you don't want to think about. It is extraordinarily rare to act on an impulse that brings you fear or distress; people typically act on impulses that bring them pleasure eg spending silly money to give them a buzz. The very defining characteristic of an intrusive thought is that the thinker does not want to think it. Distress from a thought is actually the best indicator that the person will never act on it, and therefore it is bringing them distress for nothing. Unfortunately, the thought causes such an emotional reaction, the person assigns all kinds of horrible meanings to it, even though the thought is basically meaningless and harmless.

What goatlord is describing sounds like a normal, typical, harmless firing off of the imagination. He does not react to the thoughts with fear or shock, he explores them and then thinks about something else. That's a normal and healthy response. Suppressing the thoughts would create a problem.

Why would you want to murder impse?

j4rio said:

Why would you want to murder impse?

Alimony?

I'm glad no one has mentioned the act of murdering animals here because then I would be outraged.

TheCupboard said:

I'm glad no one has mentioned the act of murdering animals here because then I would be outraged.

I stabbed a frog once when I was like eight or something. Never was too proud of that.

TheCupboard said:

I'm glad no one has mentioned the act of murdering animals here because then I would be outraged.

You mean hunting?














(*hides*)

Murder is a fun topic to think about.

Clonehunter said:

I stabbed a frog once when I was like eight or something. Never was too proud of that.

Glad I didn't have to do that in school biology class...

I had a loaded gun pointed directly at me and my friends while at work, this was in a grocery store. The fact that those worthless, slimy, no good, pitiful pieces of shit felt they had the right to point a gun at a 19 year old, 15 year old and 14 year old makes me want to beat them until they're unrecognizable. No more teeth, at the very least. I wouldn't want their lives on my conscience, though. I'm no psychotic killer or whatever.

The fucking pieces of shit only got 2 years for armed robbery against underage kids.. One instantly threatened my friend, and within a few weeks was locked up again for another fucking armed robbery. Good riddance.

To a more broad point: I know that all sorts of crime is dealt with unfairly, by that I mean you get innocent people defending their homes locked up next the the rapist murderers because a situation becomes unclear after the fact. That said, I am for the death penalty against murderers and in some cases rapists. I feel like once you've taken another human life, you've essentially given up the right to your own. It's also the best way to guarantee you won't get repeat offenders!

In a hypothetical world where there was no set law, I would absolutely kill someone if they ruined the life of someone i care for, be it raped, killed or badly injured them with malicious intent. I wouldn't "enjoy" killing this hypothetical monster, but I wouldn't feel any guilt whatsoever, I'm certain of that. Justice is a concept that is very important to me, it disgusts me when people get away with heinous crimes because it usually gets worse and worse until they are caught/stopped.

GoatLord said:

Do you ever fantasize about the act of murder? Not of an innocent person, but of someone who would actually end your life unless you end theirs first? Or killing to defend a loved one or even a stranger? I don't find this impulse popping up too often, but it has been a curiosity for a good chunk of my life, and as an adult I contemplate the emotional response. Would I handle it nonchalantly? Would it be devastating? Would I take pride in having protected myself/others? More than likely, I'll never find out, which is fine. But I do find myself wondering how I would behave in such a situation, whether I could actually do it, how I would do it, etc. Thoughts? And by the way, anyone who wants to flash the psychopath card can just excuse themselves from the conversation, as this is an attempt to discuss an aspect of the human condition, not pointlessly glorify violence.

Are you a citizen of the USA?

40oz said:

killing people is awesome

Are you a citizen of the USA?