|The Wifey doesn't want my kids to play Doom||April 12, 2012, 1:09 pm|
As of late I've been on a house hunting quest with my loving fiance. We've looked at a few houses in person and we only have a few prospects now that we're considering putting an offer on. One of the things that we are really hoping for is at least three bedrooms, or two if there's enough property to add on the house.
As of now, my fiance agreed that before we have kids, It is okay that I use one of the bedrooms as a "Doom Room" / Office. A room to myself where I can put together my PC and Widescreen TV combo that I play with a gamepad, and optional split screen with three other PCs on Odamex. Also a dimly lit room with bulletin boards and sketch paper and a wide desk to draw over so that I can continue planning and making doom maps. (At the moment my life is just way too full of distractions to map comfortably.)
While the topic has come up some times before, My fiance would most certainly like to have kids at some point in her life. I agree and have no qualms with that. However, the topic of exposing my children to Doom at a young age, teaching them to map and play the game very well, My fiance has proven to have a rather averse stance on that subject. The first time I mentioned it she said "Our kids are NOT playing doom."
I chose not to get confrontational and I figured with a little more Dooming she might think differently in the future.
Another time it came up, I happened to be staying over her house with my laptop and her young cousins, a boy and two girls ages 3, 5, and 11 were visiting as well. They're very loud and hyperactive kids at times, and it was very funny to see how intrigued they were with the game as I was playing it. I was especially interested in how quickly they were able to figure out that colored doors are locked without the colored key, and tell me what places to go that I haven't explored yet, especially in such godawfully ugly '94 maps I was playing. I let them get a chance at playing a few levels too, and they adapted to using the controller pretty quick. The three year old played the best! It was also funny to see them shouting "GET THAT ONE THATS A BIG GUY" and "EWWW! HE'S UGLY!!" and telling me not to go in the hallways that are too dark!
Later that day my fiance seemed kinda iffy about me letting her cousins play the game. She said the game is really violent and scary, and that I was out of my mind if I was gonna let my kids play it. She even went on to say she doesn't want our kids to become psychopaths! I tried to deconstruct her argument saying that I started playing the game when I was 3, listen to grindcore, and watch gore/slasher movies, but everything else about me is completely normal. I went on explaining that the graphics are so colorful and pixelated, that it's comical compared to the melancholic gore that they're no-doubt going to be exposed to when the other kids at school are playing Gears of War 6 and Grand Theft Auto 8. And that violent video games have been scientifically proven to pacify a person's mind and make them less prone to commiting any violent acts (Which can be good and bad, I wouldn't want kids that are TOO passive)
Unfortunately, she didn't seem to buy into any one of my points and is still holding her stance. She doesn't seem too strong about this subject as I've seen her on other topics of interest, so I'm not really heartbroken about it. I'm sure there's gonna be a point where I can get her to crack and admit defeat. There's no way in hell I'll censor my kids from my favorite things.
The thought of that makes me wonder if my mom wouldn't let my dad be interested in the things he likes in front of me. As far as I know, I don't really have any grasp on the genres of music he likes, his favorite movies, what he likes to do. He's difficult to interpret sometimes. Not that I've ever had any problems with him, I just feel like there's more to know about him than I already know. I wouldn't want to be a closed book towards my kids, show apathy to virtually everything, and pretend to like things that I dont.
Any ideas of what I can tell my fiance about Doom to help change her mind? Or better yet, a source to direct her to so that she may see it differently than her naive TV-news-influenced thoughts lead her to believe?
|Ya heard the latest Agoraphobic Nosebleed/Despise You Split?||April 9, 2012, 7:26 pm|
|It's pretty sick. Probably the best CD I own. Despise You still kicks ass even after a long hiatus. Agoraphobic Nosebleed sounds pretty awesome too, although I miss the crazy trippy noisecore of albums like Frozen Corpse Stuffed with Dope, I can't say I don't enjoy their newest stuff too. I just felt like talking about it.|
|How do you suck at google?||October 19, 2011, 12:53 am|
Is the question my friends ask me.
I openly tell people I suck at googling stuff. Even though it's not entirely true. Generally, if I need to find an answer to a specific question, I can get whatever it is I need. What I suck at is obtaining information from things I don't know anything about.
Google didn't always suck. I remember when I was in middle school, I would google my favorite bands and find tons of background information about the members, filers from the shows they played, and related bands. I remember pretty distinctly simply searching for "doom" and spending hours scrolling though images and pages reading everything I can possibly know about the game.
I don't really search for the same stuff as I used to, and I don't really know for sure if the internet is just fucking gay now or if I'm just crumbling at the test of time, but I rarely get the kind of interesting results from googling stuff as I used to. The most common problem I have is even thinking of the right terms to search for. I've been wanting to learn more about foreclosed houses, so I searched "foreclosures" hoping to find out what they are, how much they typically run for, pros and cons of buying a foreclosure, etc. Instead I got a huge list websites with home listings that I need to sign up and log in to be able to see the price and pictures of the foreclosed houses they have listed. I generally spend a lot of time switching words around in my searches to get the kind of information I need to know, and often giving up before I even really get started. Searching anything will almost always give you links to really high-traffic ad-infested websites, or to youtube videos that don't tell me what I need to know, or opinionated blogs only marginally related to the searched term.
In fact, I decided to search today "I suck at google" and it wasn't until four pages later that I found an article that shed a little bit of light why google is so lame these days.
I was already aware of websites paying big bucks to land first results for certain keywords in search engines, but apparently all sorts of websites are manipulating the system, making unrelated garbage appear on the first couple pages and attempting to disguise itself as something you might be into. Too often I search for something, get overloaded with potentially interesting links to crap and get discouraged from searching any longer. As far as I understand, many other search engines suffer from the same conditions. Did google always suck or is this just the direction commercialized internet search engines are going?
|Some historic stuff||August 24, 2011, 10:29 pm|
I was watching some of The Green Herring's UV-Max videos of random PWADs on youtube and was a map that reminded me of some of my early (EARLY) doom mapping way back when. I had then remembered many years ago being heartbroken from having a laptop that I burned out to the point of not even being able to turn it on. My oldest brother was able to remove the harddrive and extract all the data on to some DVDs for me much later. By that time I recuperated from the loss of data I had on there and moved on. I decided today that I would load the DVD up and browse around.
I was amazed to run into a ton of my past files. I found some old freeware games I used to play, folders and folders of punk music I used to listen to (brings back memories!) and a whole bunch of images including some custom made forum profile pictures like the one seen below:
I guess I thought that was funny when I was in middle school.
Apparently Ashley Robbins was my favorite pornstar because I found a folder jampacked with her nude photoshoots among a few other random playboy playmate pics and some of Carmen Electra. Also found a folder of a bunch of myspace pics of my first girlfriend I used to creep on. Probably whacked off to those pictures too. Found some screenshots of old wads I was playing that I shared with a friend of mine who is also a Doomer. Found some slige wads (slige was a big deal at the time) I also stumbled on a folder with some midi files I had extracted from Doom wads like Scythe 2 and Memento Mori. I found a few that I recognize but am unsure what their origin is, it would be awesome if any of you guys could identify them for me.
I'm a bit dissapointed that I could not find the earliest bits of Doom mapping I've ever done which include edits of DOOM1.WAD, and some urban deathmatch maps. I did find my JDoom folder which was loaded with wads I was playing like Icarus and DOOMUD3.WAD, whatever that is. However I did stumble across this wad I found in my Doombuilder folder aptly named "jon.wad" which isn't my first map ever, but it's about the earliest piece of doom history of mine I will ever find. I don't even remember making it. Here's a download link if you guys want to see what I've been doing way back in 2004. It's MAP02.
I do however remember working on a megawad that was going to replace SS Nazis with a cool doom zombie look alike. (basically a strife guy with doomguy's helmet) It's very short, clearly unfinished and full of unclosed sectors. I think I was trying to achieve a vanilla deep water effect and the architecture is inspired by fbase6.wad I believe. Boy how times have changed.
|Teaching My Girlfriend to Map||July 26, 2011, 1:22 pm|
My girlfriend knows about my obsession with Doom and that I design levels for it, but until last week she didn't quite realize how simple it was. The other day my girlfriend approached me while I was drawing layouts for doom maps on paper. She looked at me quizzically and asked what the hell am I doing. I explained to her that it's a lot easier for me to make Doom levels when I plan them out of paper. I basically draw some shapes and when I draw them in the editor, they become rooms.
She looked at the unfinished half of the layout and said "what are you putting here?" I told her I hadn't decided yet. She told me I should make a room shaped like a heart. I was a little skeptical at first but I have a bad habit of frowning on a lot of ideas my girlfriend has, so I just went ahead and drew the heart shaped room.
Yesterday I was at home, off from work, and began mapping. When I was finished with the bits and pieces of the layout I drew the other day, I used my phone take a photo of the layout on Doombuilder next to the layout she helped me draw and sent it to her. Then sent her a screenshot of me playing the level inside the heart shaped room she designed for me.
She responded to the picture message with "OMG!! that looks awesome! Can I play it so I can see it better?" before then she had only played the first few levels of Knee Deep in The Dead before she was getting sick of getting lost. She needed to. I wouldn't let the relationship continue if she wouldn't play doom with me.
Later that night I stopped over her house and told her about how easy it is to make Doom levels. Just draw some random shapes, adjust the floor and ceiling height, and throw in some guns and monsters and you have a doom level. "I love drawing random shapes!" she exclaimed. Later this week I'm gonna install Doom 2 and Doombuilder on her laptop and play around with it to show her how it works.
I'm hoping I can show her some of my strategies to making simple layouts and show her some cool stuff you can do with thing placement. I know already she doesn't really love playing doom as much as I do, but I think she might have a thing for designing levels. We'll find out in the near future and I'll be sure to upload her work to the /idgames archive.
|Better at Video Games than Real Life||May 4, 2011, 12:56 pm|
What's up with that?
I've always wondered the psychology behind that. What compels people to want to gain experience and become the highest rank in RPG games or get the highest score in the arcade or best kill to death ratio in online shooters? I know video games are there to be some sort of escapism from the ordeals of real life, but are you really escaping from reality, or are you just playing the game of reality very poorly? People like to play video games where the main character is heroic and strong and agile and overcomes any obstacle. Being the most fearsome fighter, sharpest shooter, stealthy stalker may make you feel awesome in a parallel universe, but whats preventing you from being the best at things in real life?
In my observations, I feel as though video games are a more attractive unit than real life because video games force one to focus on a few simple objectives instead of focusing on some objectives that every individual has to create for themselves in the complete open-endedness of reality. In video games, you acquire the identity of a protagonist. One with a predefined goal, agility, a respected title, no responsibilities, no consequences for their actions, and no ability to feel pain or suffering other than what the video game simulates, usually a flashing screen or a pain animation. Progress is presented to you in the form of rewarding music or exploding text, while life's rewards lie in how you perceive your own abilities.
In videos I see of young adults playing video games, let's say Half Life 2 for example, players start the game and jump around on all the tables like a bobcat with its tail on fire. Every person the player comes in contact with behaves as if not worthy to see the "real Gordan Freeman" as the player proceeds to pick up Chinese take-out boxes off the floor and throw it at their face. The player then jumps on top of trash cans and leaps on top of the heads of authority figures and runs away as they attempt to beat him to a pulp. Every lethal blow to the side of the players head with a police baton is followed by nothing more than a shake of the camera and a flash of red. The same players playing in this fashion would never behave in such a way in public but instead not resist portraying themselves with the audacity of a wild stallion in a video game setting that mildly resembles their own.
Video games tend to make obvious the rewards for doing things correctly to such a lucid extent, that people begin to see less and less the rewards of being good at things in real life. Unless the words "GREAT JOB" appear in front of their face every time they become slightly more experienced in a different field, there's no incentive to do anything.
What I think is missing here is that the keyboard and mouse that controls your hero in whatever game your playing is not the only thing you have control over. Your brain controls you. Question whether video games are your sole source of any motivation to be good at something. If you take a moment, considering yourself a character being watched by a third party, would you make a good video game hero? Do you have any skills or abilities that the average everyman doesn't have? Do you have any speed, agility, coordination, or intelligence that makes your life a video game worth playing? Maybe you should open your eyes once in a while and look at what you're capable of. Do a few pushups once in a while. Learn to play a sport. Eat healthy. Set some goals. Work towards those goals. Video games are not the only things you should be playing.
|Unnecessarily Complicated||April 11, 2011, 10:59 am|
I probably sound like an old head but I wanna draw attention to things that will forever be hopelessly irritating to me. So much technology around us which are there to make our lives easier are overloaded with additional features and/or are unreasonably complicated to use.
My biggest peeve is found at my workplace. Since I've started working there, I've noticed many changes in the way my workplace operates. I work in a fast-paced convenience store called Wawa. We're known for our fresh coffee and quick built-to-order hoagies. Some things about the functionality of my workplace stem from it's constant desire to provide faster and higher quality service. Unfortunately, instead of giving employees more extensive training, the company relies on more efficient technology. Our hoagies are ordered through a few touch screen menus located in front of the deli, so instead of customers telling us how to make their hoagies, they select the items they want on the menu instead, and when their order is complete, it prints out a receipt with a bar code that they can bring to the register to pay while they wait for the employees to make the order that was electronically received on the other end.
It's certainly fast and efficient. My gripe with it is that no technology is completely unbreakable. If for whatever reason our touch screens are not working, or our printers are not printing, or our monitors are not receiving the orders placed, we have no alternative way to take orders.
We also have a cappuccino machine that provides hot water if someone wants to make their own tea. But every once in a while the machine craps out and they can't get their hot water. Then I have to look like a fucking moron by telling them that I have no way to get them something as simple as hot water because the cappuccino machine can't get it's act together.
Another thing we have is a giant lottery ticket vending machine that happens to regularly have a message flashing on the screen saying "CURRENTLY OUT OF SERVICE" for at least a couple of hours each day for no apparent reason. In an idealistic case we could just hand our customers lottery tickets through the exchange of a couple dollars at the register like most places do but as long as our machine is down there is nothing we can do about it.
Among those things are the many other improvements in technology that are putting an enormous decline in my faith in what our future will be like. My TV has six different video modes even though the only things plugged into it are a DVD player and a Nintendo Wii. Getting a new cell phone plan or changing your number can be the most complicated thing in the world for customer service AND the customer. My cell phone has more apps than I know what to do with, but all I want it for is to have service so I can make and receive calls and text messages, and often times I can't even have that. It's a pain in the ass transmitting pictures from my digital camera to my computer. Half of the buttons on my TV remote literally do nothing. I just can't seem to get the things that I want simplified to few specific things
It's really disheartening to know that it's near impossible to go to Best Buy to get something that will perform a single task very well. Every individual thing wants to be everything at once. Usually you need to call a professional to take care of these overly complicated things you'd otherwise be able to take care of yourself if it made any sense. And even when you do, they do one little things and it's magically repaired.
Makes me wanna start a business that manufactures some kind of device that people will become dependent on in their daily lives, and make it prone to malfunction, and the only way to repair them is with some kind of encrypted password or key that only my business's tech crew will know. That way I don't really have to train my tech crew to know how to do anything besides that simple miracle cure password to all the machines, the demand for service will be high, and so the income flow would be high as well. Unfortunately I don't have the heart (or lack thereof) to do that.
|Anxiety Attacks||April 6, 2011, 2:43 pm|
My girlfriend suffers from frequent anxiety attacks. Usually at the most random times. Sometimes we'll be at a grocery store, or just sitting in my car, or right after sex, and she will tell me she's thinking some really bad thoughts and she starts to tremble in fear.
She's described it to me a few times. She says often when it's happening, she'll start reliving haunting memories, or she'll feel completely vulnerable and like something is going to kill her and there's nothing she can do about it even though she doesn't even know what it is. Sometimes she can detect it just before it's happening and she can convince herself everything is okay before it gets worse. Other times it spirals completely out of her own control and she's just shocked and cries until it dissappears, which can take up to 30 minutes of raw fear.
Sometimes she thinks about worst case scenarios and fears things like dying, or me dying, or me leaving her because she's crazy or something.
I've asked her several times what I should do if she's feeling that way. She said she just needs to be calmed down, like just to hold her or do something random or say something that will make her laugh. The thing is though, is that when I know its happening, I get kinda nervous and instead of being myself, I just kinda lock up or stall or something. I just kinda sit there and think "what do i do what do i do?"
I've looked up on websites before about helping someone cope with anxiety and panic attacks. A lot of times they suggest things like giving a paper bag to breathe in an out of, but she doesn't have respiratory problems when its happening. Other websites say do not get frustrated, do not dismiss the attack by saying "its all in your head" or whatever, do not ignore the person, do not, do not, do not, but pretty much nothing about WHAT TO DO.
One time she was having an anxiety attack and in the middle of it, she took out her iPhone and started playing Skyburger and it kinda wore off from there. Something to distract herself from focusing so strongly on her haunting thoughts. Any ideas?
|iPods are gay||January 6, 2011, 2:48 pm|
yeah i know you know ipods are gay let me finish. God.
So i've been keeping all my music stored on my brothers hard drive because it's significantly bigger than mine and a few weeks ago he's been having problems with his web browser, and so he decided to wipe his hard drive and switch to Windows 7.
I bought a bunch of new CDs with gift cards i got for christmas and I really like them so I wanna throw the songs in my ipod. I had to download iTunes on his computer again and plugged in my ipod. I get a message saying that I was using a different version of iTunes on a different computer so in order to do anything to my ipod I have to erase everything and resync it.
So basically I have to start from scratch, putting in all my cds into the computer one at a time, importing the music from it so I can use it on my iPod. I have 141 CDs.