|Update||August 27, 2013, 12:26 am|
So I've lived in Brooklyn for almost five years now, gotten a degree, met lots of people, shown lots of art, and completely lost my way as far as my mental image of myself goes.
My grandmother, who is my only living family member, got in a really bad car accident about a year ago and Alzheimer's symptoms quickly manifested. She's on the other side of the country and I hardly have enough money to house myself no less fly across the country to see her. It's tough, but I'm adjusting to the changes.
I feel pretty alone out here sometimes, even though I have a lot of friends and colleagues and the stuff I'm doing even feels like it matters. Sometimes I legitimately feel like I'm going crazy.
I miss being involved with online communities a lot, I miss being involved with the old style of internet interactions a lot.
So right this second I'm between houses and looking for a place to live, working as a freelance animator and designer and busting ass, showing at a few places coming up, playing a lot of music. It all feels great and I'm trying to enjoy it, having some temporary difficulty.
Hope everyone is well, doom 4ever yadda yadda.
|A Birthday to Bank on||March 20, 2011, 11:08 pm|
So I'm a year older now and it's been an exciting one at that, let's go over some highlights.
* Moved into brownstone apartment only to move out 6 months later when landlord initiates illegal construction, evicts other tenants, turns off heat, and severs lease. I am currently living a block away in a much nicer place.
* Celebrated my anniversary with my lovely girlfriend.
* Stalked and harassed by estranged mother via the internet.
* Worked on secret project for video game "Doom"
* Had animations and illustrations featured in gallery shows.
* Cut off my wild mane of hair for the first time in 10 years.
* Wore a collared shirt and no jeans for the last 8 months by choice.
* Photographed and interviewed as fashion designer during NYC's fashion's night out, despite not being a fashion designer nor making first assertion that I was.
* Plenty of other stuff I may remember eventually.
So I'm on the hotseat folks, ask away.
|Suits||August 29, 2010, 2:54 pm|
I love wearing a suit. It is just one of those things that as a man you get to do. Surprisingly a ton of men I talk to really hate putting on anything with a collar and I don't understand this. Suits look good and personally I always feel great wearing them. I'm never uncomfortable and never feel constrained, but that's just me. You also get a lot of freedom when you wear a suit, outside of very formal occasions you have a lot of choices in color, accessories, materials, etc. Also, I always notice a positive response from perfect strangers whenever I find myself wearing a suit, whether it's a compliment on the street or a friendlier clerk at a bodega.
It might be that a lot of people's suits don't fit, or perhaps they don't fit the suits perfectly. I'm not the tallest so it's always hard for me to find pants where the legs aren't too long because everything comes in a 32 or 33 inseam and when you're 30 it's a pain. But wearing a suit is about being a man and the right attitude can make a big difference. 60 years ago everyone wore suits, it wasn't the law and there wasn't a dress code but people did it because they were expected to. We don't expect anything out of anyone any more and there's a lot of good about that but plenty of bad too--just look at the People of Walmart.
Anyway folks I'm interested in hearing some doomworld opinions because it seems like every picture I've ever seen of any of you guys has been a black heavy metal t-shirt and a beard.
|Identity Theft||July 8, 2010, 2:01 pm|
This morning I awoke to find that all of my gmail accounts had had their passwords and recovery emails changed. I scrambled to regain control of my remaining address and other credentials. I've been able to recover one email address but the others are still MIA.
For you gmail users: this is a bitch
My email address was being used as a Nigerian prince style scam with my actual name on it, I don't know how many people have received the email but my broker called me this morning to make sure everything was alright.
|Estranged Lineage||June 15, 2010, 12:17 pm|
I have never known my mother personally. When I was born my parents were not married and both had problems. My father was and is an alcoholic and my mother was addicted to cocaine--though luckily didn't do it while pregnant with me. It quickly became apparent in the first months of my life that my mother had no intention or capability to raise me so my father applied for custody and was granted it. I went to live with my grandmother and father in Phoenix, AZ where I grew up.
I can't say I had a bad childhood because even though money was little and tension was high my grandmother is the most loving parent I could have ever asked for. My father was a good man who made stupid decisions and never did anything with his life. He was still in college when I was growing up (at the time he was over 40) and had been doing so since the first time around changing his major every time he was near graduation so he could milk more money from the federal government. My father was incarcerated when I was ten when he killed a man drunk driving and has been in prison since. I don't make contact with him, though he writes my grandmother and asks about me.
About a year ago my mother tried to get in contact with me through a facebook friend request of all things which I quickly declined once I recognized the name. It was the first time she'd ever tried to contact me and it was already one too many. I was hoping that it would end there but it didn't.
I'm living in New York and I get a call from my grandmother about a letter she received. It was from my mother and she dictated it to me over the phone. It was a rambling message about how much she thought about me every day and how I was kidnapped from her by my father and his mother, about how meeting her would be the adventure of a lifetime (actual words) and plenty of other fluff. It included addresses and phone numbers to contact her.
I have no desire of meeting my mother, my entire life could have gone by without ever having heard from her and I would have been happier. That's impossible now because she's already interloped in my life and so now I'm really at an impasse. Part of me wants to call her up and tell her to leave me and my family alone but I'm afraid that will just make her more unrelenting. Another part of me wants to just let it go and do nothing, but that's what I did last time and now here I am with more interference. There's even a tiny sliver of me that wants to hear what she has to say.
She was never a mother to me, she's certainly not family to me, and she's not the one who raised me nor the one I love. It's another roadbump in my recently hectic life and I have absolutely no idea how to address it.
|New Apartment||April 8, 2010, 12:06 pm|
Well, finally got out on my own (and a roommate) here in Brooklyn. We got a really nice and affordable brownstone close to my university.
As we did in our dorm room, we've made a staunch promise to pay for essentially nothing except mattresses. Everything else we've found on the street such as: Amplifiers, couches, beds, armchairs, record players, TVs, stoves, washing machines, computers, keyboards, toaster ovens, microwaves, lamps, cds, tapes, about 15 large speakers, underfloor subs, pots, pans, silverware, glasses, art, and of course I once found three bags of artisan bread right after a bakery closed shop for that night.
So if any NYC doomers wanna chill after April 15th I got a happenin pad.
|Hungolder||March 21, 2010, 5:34 pm|
Today is my birthday and I started it off by waking up piss drunk, stumbling into the bathroom, drinking two glasses of water and immediately converting them into clear, painful acidic vomit.
I think it is going to be a good year.
|Depression and The One That Got Away||December 16, 2009, 5:09 pm|
I don't know what it is about myself but I have a great deal of difficulty getting over people. I was involved with someone for only a week or two, and I've been down for over two months. I've tried everything to get over them, I know it's unhealthy to dwell on these things, I know that I didn't do anything wrong, but still deep in myself I miss her so much.
I often have difficulty connecting with people, and when I do and the connection is severed I have a lot of trouble fixing myself and not being sad. At the time we were together she had a boyfriend that she neglected to tell me about until later, we decided to break it off on good terms and I was fine until she came back for me. Then when she eventually left me because "it wasn't right" I could barely handle it. Now she's single but won't give me another chance. I tried hating her but it didn't work because I don't and it didn't make me feel better. I am really tired of being sad all the time. Every time I see her my heart drops.
I know that this is all bad. I know I should be over her. I know I don't even have a chance any more. I don't know why I'm still upset. How can you love someone that you were with such a short time?
|External Hard Drive Issues||October 7, 2009, 11:25 pm|
|I own an Iomega Prestige 1.5 TB external that I needed to format to FAT32 in order to use with the Mac computers here. All simple stuff, I backed up the files on a friend's drive and used the suggested CompuApps SwissKnife software to format, simple enough. I selected FAT32 and the drive and all that and something happened and now I have a FAT32 formatted drive with 393 GB of space. I'm usually pretty tech-savvy but this is a little bizarre and I'm not sure how to approach it, any help would be appreciated. I'm using XP.|
|Genesis Games?||August 1, 2009, 4:45 pm|
|A friend gave me his Sega Genesis as a going-away present and I'm just giddy playing around with it, but I need some more good games. Any suggestions? I'm a big fan of the side-scroller.|