Bucket's Doomworld Forums Blog

Bucket's Doomworld Forums Blog

CROTCH STANK June 30, 2012, 11:34 am
In the past few years, I've gained weight. This has naturally left me with the affliction of severe groinal chaffing. While it can be horrible, I often alleviate the effects with a healthy dose of skin cream. While it does work wonders on the burning and redness, it only takes a few hours for my nether regions to take on the musky scent of a doll collector's attic. I have little recourse for this other than frequent showering, but on more manly days, sometimes even twice a day isn't enough.

I ask you all: what is your best defense against crotch stank?
53 Comments

Righteousness May 17, 2012, 6:14 pm
What's with old flames coming back and telling you "you were right" about the whole situation...? "You were right, that guy was an asshole." "You were right, I never should've moved to California." "You were right, banging your best friend was kind of a dick move." Is that some kind of consolation prize? OH SURE, that's why we had the disagreement in the first place. I was just trying to win an argument and the only thing I wanted was to be right. It makes all the pathetic loneliness I suffered totally worth it, because I was right all along.

I never wanted to be RIGHT. I wanted to be WITH SOMEONE. I wanted to be NOT DESPERATELY ALONE. More to the point, I wanted a woman who didn't need someone to explain how her actions are affecting others. Someone who can sort out her own head BEFORE she throws away half her youth on bad decisions.

And guys like me get told they were right all along, and these women are realizing too late that it should've been them. So of course, you get the last-ditch effort to rekindle that old feeling, which is laughable. Like anyone wants you now that you're old, flabby and used up, after you've accumulated a decade of baggage and a bastard child or two. Am I supposed to be grateful that I get to scrape up what's left, after a long line of deadbeats wasted the best years of your life? Is that what a good man deserves? Leftovers?

I already have enough reasons to go chasing barely legal tail instead of trying to invest my time and effort in so-called "mature women". Anyway, there's my venting for the day.
35 Comments

Another new (old) laptop April 14, 2012, 2:13 am
So a friend of mine hands me his old work laptop. It's a Dell Latitude PPX and in amazing shape for its age. At first, I was disappointed by its performance; the poor thing was running XP SP3. Now, after dropping in some hardware and Debian Linux, it's a snappy little machine.

Pentium 3 (Coppermine) 500MHz
128MB SDRAM 100MHz
8GB SSD
CD-ROM, 3.5" floppy, USB, infrared

Yeah, I bought an ATA solid state drive a while back and I've finally found a good use for it. Instead of that ancient 12GB plate drive grinding away, it's quick and quiet. I was pleasantly surprised to see that my PCMCIA network cards worked without any grief (wired and wireless!) I'd originally tried Windows 2000 and Puppy Linux on this machine, but I think Debian with Xfce gives me a good balance of performance and function.

Next on the agenda is to update the BIOS. I just found a useful feature in ImgBurn, my favorite optical burning software, to make bootable CDs from scratch. Let's hope it works.
4 Comments

GODDAMN FUCKING CAT November 17, 2011, 4:27 pm
So we have a kitten who we "rescued" from the street, and she's a big fan of human food. I find it annoying, my girlfriend finds it adorable. Today the kitten jumps on the table where I'm working and sticks its nose into my plate. I pick it up by the scruff of its neck, so it spazzes and kicks over my coffee. ALL OVER MY LAPTOP.



Tonight: kitten steak.
50 Comments

More old PC adventures. October 17, 2011, 3:44 pm
I'm downgrading my laptop.
That is, I have a Toshiba Tecra 8000 (P2 266MHz, 256MB RAM, 4GB HDD) with Windows 2000 on it. For a while, there was a novelty to doing new things on an old PC, but that's worn off. Basically I can do the same things on my new laptop and much faster. If I really needed it for all that, I'd be better off with Slackware or Puppy Linux anyway.

So... instead, I decided to split the HDD in half. The first would have Win98SE and all of my old Windows apps, while the second would have my old DOS apps.

The first thing I had a problem with is FDISK. How the hell have I used computers for so long having never used this? I guess all the drives we used to buy were pre-formatted. I screwed it up the first time around, somehow making a logical drive that I couldn't delete, leaving me to do the whole thing over with Gparted.

I managed to get everything working and stable. Looking through all the settings, I'm wondering how I never could get computers to work right when I was a kid. Probably either because we bought cheap hardware at flea markets, or because I'd never heard of online updates. I blame my dad being the last person on the block to go DSL.

On a related note, I hope to be getting a few old boxen from relatives soon - an 8088 and a Pentium 75MHz. I already got a 286 and 486 to play with, so we'll see what happens.
7 Comments

Yeah, I'm a whore. August 18, 2011, 12:37 am
So I bought an iPhone 4. FOR WORK.

The idea was that I could run the business from anywhere, taking e-mails and tethering my laptop so I could access the company website. Supposedly I bought the 3G model - but how do I know it's working? The first thing it did when I turned it on was ask me for a wireless access point. I don't see how a 3G phone would need WiFi. The model # is MC677LL/A and it supports EV-DO Rev. A (800/1900 MHz), if that means anything.
17 Comments

latest artistic expression August 9, 2011, 2:55 am
Chainsaw Bear Versus Hover Shark: A Lyrical Poem

(chorus)
CHAINSAW BEAR VERSUS HOVER SHARK
CHAINSAW BEAR VERSUS HOVER SHARK
CHAINSAW BEAR VERSUS HOVER SHARK
CHAINSAW BEEEAAARRRRR
HOVER SHAAAARRRRRK
CHAINSAW BEEEAAARRRRR
HOVER SHAAAARRRRRK

(verse)
In a secret government program, a bear was trained to wield a chainsaw
Ten foot tall melee massacre nightmare, clear cut trees and mountain streams stain red

(chorus)
CHAINSAW BEAR VERSUS HOVER SHARK
CHAINSAW BEAR VERSUS HOVER SHARK
CHAINSAW BEAR VERSUS HOVER SHARK
CHAINSAW BEEEAAARRRRR
HOVER SHAAAARRRRRK
CHAINSAW BEEEAAARRRRR
HOVER SHAAAARRRRRK

(verse)
In a secret government program, a shark had anti-gravity implants
Death darts and winds through air like lightning, no where is safe from ubiquitous mayhem

(chorus)
CHAINSAW BEAR VERSUS HOVER SHARK
CHAINSAW BEAR VERSUS HOVER SHARK
CHAINSAW BEAR VERSUS HOVER SHARK
CHAINSAW BEEEAAARRRRR
HOVER SHAAAARRRRRK
CHAINSAW BEEEAAARRRRR
HOVER SHAAAARRRRRK

(blazing guitar solo)

(bridge)
The end
foretold
in teeth
and claws

(another guitar solo, this time accompanied by sounds of genocide)

(verse)
In a cataclysmic event, of unknown scale and horrible magnitude
Hover shark and chainsaw bear locked in combat, and no one lived to tell the tale

(chorus)
CHAINSAW BEAR VERSUS HOVER SHARK
CHAINSAW BEAR VERSUS HOVER SHARK
CHAINSAW BEAR VERSUS HOVER SHARK
CHAINSAW BEEEAAARRRRR
HOVER SHAAAARRRRRK
CHAINSAW BEEEAAARRRRR
HOVER SHAAAARRRRRK
3 Comments

The well has run dry. May 23, 2011, 2:51 pm
Well, that's it. After a year of struggling to keep a business afloat, it can no longer survive as it is. The economy got to us in the end. Though we run the kind of business where a recession would hit us last, all it did was give our tiny operation the opportunity to end it gracefully instead of crash and burn.

I've already skipped plenty of paychecks so I'm down to selling my possessions. The Porsche is the first to go. You should never sell something that expensive when you actually need the money. After that goes the apartment. I'll probably move in with my parents for a few months to save up money for another place to live. I was paying way too much for it anyway.

My coworkers are somewhat confident that it can survive somehow. On the other hand, my hindsight shows me we were lucky to last as long as we did. Still - even if you make something out of your blood, sweat and tears, there's no guarantee that you won't have to let it go someday because it's financially hurting you.
6 Comments

More flea market adventures. May 2, 2011, 12:28 pm
No picture of an amazing haul this time; I was mostly selling. However, I came across a great used computer for SEVEN DOLLARS.

eMachines T2341
1.9GHz Athlon XP
384MB RAM
40GB HDD
S3 onboard gfx, 32MB shared

I assumed that for $7, something must be wrong with it, though if I could salvage even a few parts from it the money would be well-spent. Imagine my delight when I discovered the fatal issue: one of the RAM sticks is partially unseated. I'm sure the guy who sold it to me thought he was selling junk. Too bad he'll never know I'll be cleaning it up and turning it around for $200.
11 Comments

Finally, an album February 3, 2011, 12:20 pm
Since my triple-album prog rock opus is being put on the backburner until I'm rich enough to build a home studio, I decided to go ahead and put out a rap album.

http://www.cdbaby.com/AlbumDetails.aspx?AlbumID=qdeezy

Most of the music is my creation. They were composed almost exclusively on free software, with a DAW called LMMS and an old drum sequencing program called Hammerhead. Of course, there was nothing free about the studio we mastered them in. There are one or two tracks made by a friend of mine, who specializes in pirated software.

This rapper we're working with, Q Deezy, is more versatile than he lets on and we're probably going to be working with his "posse" next round.
4 Comments

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