|Shit happens. Deal with it (tl;dr rant)||May 8, 2013, 12:25 pm|
Back in January, I wrote a sad story. It wasn't fictional like the title suggested, infact, the only fictional element of it were the characters names, starring me as the protagonist, James.
The story ends with me getting rejected by a girl after liking her for over 4 years, [s]and I decide to try and get over her[/s] hehe no no no. For some reason, I was stupid enough to think I still had a chance so I continued chasing her. Wasn't a problem until recently. Now I'm glad it didn't happen. I dodged a bullet there. What a week this has been.
Seriously, who in their right mind thinks that their closest friends don't care about them? Emphasis on "right mind"...
I'm not even sure how I can put this...Right. She's sad, thinking that most people don't care about her. I, being one of the few that she knows still care about her, try to convince her that they do still care. And it was hardly like I was making shit up. She was being a bitch to them. She got angry at some of the smallest things, to the point where she was getting pissed off with them for the sake of it. This really upset them, and they told me how they still care, but they try to tell her and she doesn't listen.
So I repeat their words to her, and she doesn't believe me. The next day, she's got a huge-ass plaster on her arm, and she refuses to talk about how this so-called "accident" happened. How fucking thick did she think we were? She cut herself, based on a false assumption. I'll come back to assumptions later.
Naturally - still liking her loads for some deluded reason - I go into an absolute panic, and I persevere, trying to point out to her how she's hurting everyone else.
Ugh...it seemed like it was working, until this weekend. She seemed much happier, she was talking to everyone, and everything was running smoothly as far as I could see. She tells me that she might watch a film. She describes it to me, and it sounds awful, and after she had told me that she had just hated that particular kind of film, I ask her "You aren't really going to watch it, are you?"
The response: Already am! You don't have to be so rude about it! (ragequit)
Are you actually fucking kidding me?! She actually got pissed off at me because I assumed that a film was shit, even though I apparently knew nothing about it. Well I did know stuff about it, because you fucking told me! And you're getting pissed off because I've acted on an 'assumption?'
And the final layer of my stupidity is removed. Because she had done this many times to her friends and I overlooked it. She's done it to me, and this pissed me off. Naturally, I don't bother talking to her again.
Yesterday, I find out that she's still all upset and angry about people not caring about her, and now I'm in the bunch that don't care too.
In the past year that I've been talking to her all the time, I have shown numerous times that I care. I would always ask how she was, and I would always try to help her with stuff. I nearly lost the aforementioned friends by being stupid and taking her side in this situation, and now she's telling me that I don't fucking care about her?
This was the last straw for me, and when another friend tried to get us to talk, there was a massive argument. I wasn't going to be the nice, caring guy that I had been to her for the past year, because I've really seen who she is now. She is an attention-seeking, self-centred bitch who get's pissed off if stuff doesn't go perfect for her, and if she were a doomer, then 40oz would be sharing his custom title. I can't believe I was this blind. My friends and my mum told me this so many times, and I laughed them off. And then she told me why she wouldn't believe me when I was trying to convince her people cared: I was biased.
Yeah, that's right, she took my now-destroyed feelings for her and used them against me, and told me that apparently I was forcing her to talk about it. So she gets upset if people don't care, and furious if they do. What the fuck does she want exactly?
Suppose she expected me to try and be nice about her getting like this for the billionth time and try to fix things. Well, no. Shit happens, and she needs to deal with it. She's got another set of friends, so if we're all complete assholes like she says we are, then she can piss off and stick around with them. I'm not letting her get to me any more. Besides, she hates me, so I doubt I'll be hearing from her any time soon, thank fuck.
I don't hate her back, but damn I am pissed off with her. I'm not forgiving her for this any time soon. And of course, she won't forgive me.
In the unlikely event that she does, I'm still not forgiving her until I've seen that she's stopped acting like a damn child and she actually cares about people other than herself. Ironically, she's older than me. She reminds me of myself when I was in primary school 5+ years ago. Not a good thing at all.
Anyway, here endeth the rant. I'd be impressed if you're still reading, and I'm glad to have got this out of my system.
[B]tl;dr version:[/B]Liked a girl for nearly 5 years, realised she was a bitch, she now hates me and I don't want anything to do with her. The End[/QUOTE]
|Joseph Lord does the best PM responses + D2INO rant||May 6, 2013, 1:51 pm|
Dunno why, but there's something about this that amuses me. Perhaps it's because the initial message is (comparatively) long and formal, and the response consists of 2 characters.
I must thank you JL, for making me smile :P
|Yet another 13 hour school day tomorrow (music)||March 25, 2013, 3:08 pm|
6½ hours of the usual boring stuff, 6½ of fun that involves mostly pissing around doing sod all.
My school are holding their annual spring concert. This is the first performance to a large audience since June last year. Myself and two others will be playing an instrumental version of Dragonforce's "Seasons". I played this on bass for part of my GCSE exam actually, which I'm still yet to receive the results for.
The original plan was that we were going to play and improved (based on Jimmy's feedback) version ofAcross the Lands of Hope, a piano and acoustic guitar duet.
I have to say, after practising the piano part which I overhauled a fair bit all of last week, I am slightly irked by the fact that they've changed our song 48 hours in advance. Ah well, I've been through more irritating things with playing at the school.
A better band name would've been appreciated too. Tristan Clark and his Band sounds a bit too jazzy to me.
|My first and seconds MIDIs||March 14, 2013, 4:26 pm|
So, yeah, as the title pretty much says, this is my first attempt at making a MIDI. It's not specifically for Doom, but it should loop OK. I don't know if it's the sort of thing you'd normally find in Doom, but I'll leave that for you guys to decide.
I wrote this song when I was about 12-13 (2010), but have only just got around to sequencing it. The only bit I'm unsure of is the bluesy fill in the middle and the acoustic solo that follows it. Other than that, I'm quite happy with the result.
Note that I use a different soundfont to Microsoft's default, so it might sound a bit odd if you use that. Hopefully not though.
Let me know what you think!
|Happy Birthday Cannonball!||February 17, 2013, 12:59 pm|
To mark the 23rd anniversary of Cannonball, here is a MAP01 replacement (with D_RUNNIN to piss you all off) where you must fight 23 of 3 types of ball like monster. Have fun getting revenge on the spherical bastards at the end with the BFG.
Don't judge my mapping talents on this though :P
GET IT HERE
|Me? A party? Uh-oh||February 9, 2013, 12:22 pm|
So tonight, in about 40 minutes or so, I'm off to a party with my friends, the first time I've done so. I can't believe I'm actually socialising for once!
I don't think I will be participating in the disco, I embarrass myself enough already :P
So...this will be interesting
|1000 posts + half a year of Eris||January 30, 2013, 1:26 pm|
Well. 1000 posts. I consider that quite a large achievement :P
Also kind of fitting that I hit it EXACTLY 6 months after I registered on Doomworld.
I have to say, when I registered on Doomworld, I didn't think I'd be standing in as a project leader for a highly anticipated  megawad. Hopefully I can get my next 2 maps for that project done before my 2000th post :P
I wonder what the next 6 months will bring...I'd like to think I can get a few standalone Erismaps released. I don't think they are THAT bad :P
|A sad, fictional(?) story, will cause tl;dr||January 4, 2013, 12:32 pm|
I suffer from extreme boredom disorder, so I wrote a rubbish story that I bet you can't read all the way through. Think of it as a reading challenge, if you will :P
[QUOTE]A slightly saddening story (tl;dr) – by Sir Eridius
Somewhere, in a parallel universe…betwixt the years 2008 and 2013…
This is the slightly saddening story of a guy called James. He was a fairly normal person, despite having a slightly eidetic memory, allowing him to remember things as the exact date of Julius Caesar’s death, or that the capital city of the Congo is Brazzaville. Although there were always people who inevitably jumped to the conclusion that something was wrong with him, there wasn’t. Not at all.
Before 2008, James had never shown any interest in girls whatsoever. (I did mention this is love story, right?) Apart from the fact he had a few (several?) friends that happened to be female, he didn’t care about anything else, and until 2008, this remained the case, but then something happened to change his world, and that is what this story is about.
James had noted the day, Monday 8th September, 2008. It was around half one in the afternoon, where he underwent a literally life-changing encounter. He had just laid eyes on the most beautiful sight he had ever seen, in the form of a girl. James was not religious, but for a brief moment, he doubted his atheism, for he was sure that this seemingly impossible being had fallen from the heavens. She couldn’t be real, surely?
Unfortunately, James was very shy. He didn’t talk to this girl, just stared. It was OK, she didn’t notice, but James knew he would have to get to know her, and preferably quite soon. Eventually, upon a closer inspection, if that’s the right phrase of words to use, he observed that her name was just as beautiful as she was herself; Grace.
What a name…so…graceful…and she seemed like a nice person too.
That night, Grace came into James’ thoughts, another lifetime first for him. He wasn’t sure how to handle this situation, and figured the best thing to do for now was just to keep quiet. Maybe he’d get to know her soon, and maybe do something within...a few months perhaps?
Fourteen months later
As 2009 drew to a close, Grace was none the wiser as to how James felt about her. Nor was anyone else. Yet with every day that had passed, she became more beautiful, and James’ feelings grew stronger. What James had not anticipated was that he might not be the only one who had said feelings.
He found out that his best friend, Luke, also felt something for her, and how did James find this out? By seeing Luke and Grace together. Well, things took an unexpected turn there, didn’t they?
This saddened James deeply, but despite this, he continued to appear happy, and told no-one anything. It didn’t destroy how he felt about her. The only positive that came out of Luke and Grace’s relationship, was that James got to know her a bit better. That’s about it.
Early in 2010, Luke and Grace’s relationship went bad. In all honesty, it wasn’t strong in the first place, so let’s say it went really bad. The two split up, which, according to the notes James left behind, upset her greatly. Of course, James was sad for his two friends, but deep down inside, he couldn’t help but feel just slightly too happy. There was still a chance…
Not more than a couple of months later, James was being interrogated by two other guys on who he fancied. James’ notes insist that they were attempting to prove he was gay.
Anyway, they uttered the name of every girl that James knew, and he said no to all of them. When they said “Grace,” James still said no, but involuntarily looked down, smiled, and turned red.
Those two guys weren’t stupid, they knew they’d got him, and James knew they’d got him too, and these weren’t the kind of people who would keep secrets.
So things spread around, as they do, people found out within a matter of days, including Luke, who, like everyone else, thought it was very funny. This showed James that Luke had moved on to someone else (and he had, but James somehow forgot her name. So much for eidetic).
On Wednesday, 20th July 2010, the knowledge spread to the worst possible person. Not Grace, but Grace’s indescribably irritating friend. And this indescribably irritating friend was also apparently quite dumb, to put it nicely, as somehow, “Yes, I do fancy Grace,” was equal to “Hey, will you ask Grace out for me?”
So things hadn’t quite gone according to plan, but Grace actually said “Yes.” Well, James wasn’t going to complain. This was the girl he had dreamed of being with for the past two years, and it had finally happened.
How I wish I could end the story here by saying that they were happy together, and nothing failed for anyone. But that is not the case.
James knew he was shy, but he had never even considered the fact he might be almost completely mute. He couldn’t talk to Grace, and if he did, it was never more than five words. He tried so hard to overcome it, but failed miserably. Eventually, after four months of failure, Grace broke up with him. As I read his notes, he realised it was for the best, but still, he was heartbroken. It probably didn’t help them that they still hardly knew each other at the time.
Unfortunately for the poor sod(s) reading this, that still isn’t the end of the story.
Time went by, and everyone forgot that James loved Grace. The slightly odd format of his mind meant that despite her destroying him, he still loved her, and she became more beautiful with each day.
Despite having lost his own feelings for Grace, Luke was the only person who considered that James might not have moved on. Whether this was due to the fact that James didn’t have a girlfriend after a year and seven months of being single, we don’t know. 2011 was a somewhat quiet year for everyone, as Grace never bothered with love again.
2012 however, surprised James very much. Halfway through, Luke asked James if he still liked Grace, to which James replied “Yes.”
Luke accidentally on purpose told some people, but supposedly kept it from Grace herself, or any of her friends. Thankfully, the incredibly annoying friend was no longer a friend, so James no longer had to worry about her. I can only assume that Grace and her friends began to realise just how irritating she was.
As autumn fell in 2012, Luke encouraged James to really try and get back with Grace. It made sense, four years of undying love seemed long enough. With this encouragement, James started hanging around her more, and even began to talk to her. The shock!
Despite this however, he couldn’t tell her how he felt, and then a massive hint came in the form of what James referred to as “The Skirt Incident,” in which he was caught looki…I don’t think I need to go into details. Anyway, the skirt incident was a sure indicator to Grace that James still liked her, and Grace’s friend found out through this. At least this time, the friend wasn’t incredibly annoying, and was actually quite helpful about the fact.
Aside from another incident in which it was rumoured (and disproven) that Luke and Grace had gone into a cupboard and *censored for content* things seemed to be running nicely. In October however, James told Grace more or less everything, just not quite as he’d planned. Didn’t matter though, because apparently, Luke told her anyway, BEFORE the skirt incident! Holy shit!
Well, this didn’t get James down. He asked Grace to the prom a few weeks later. Sweet, eh? After a month, she gave him a ‘no,’ but not because of him. So James asked if she would at least dance with him, to which she said ‘Yes.’ Well, that worked for him. He was certain he was getting closer to her, and it wouldn’t be long until they were together, and properly, this time.
Towards the very end of 2012, James’ situation took a very negative turn with the introduction of someone else. On James’ notes, the name is very smudged, but from what I can make out, the name is Patrik.
The problem is, although they weren’t together, James was very protective of Grace, and burned with jealousy when, in complete knowledge of James’ presence, Grace and Patrik were conversing in a way that almost seemed flirtatious. He accidentally said some ill-worded things to Grace, which infuriated her, immediately ceasing to talk to him. James knew he had fucked up very badly this time, and realised that he was a major asshole, and she was too perfect for him. He didn’t deserve her.
With relentless apologising, and contradicting what he said in the hurtful note, James managed to get Grace to forgive him. Their friendship was salvaged, but James believed that the damage was done already, and remained slightly wary of Patrik, especially when he found out that Patrik was telling Grace that she should get a boyfriend, as it will “help James move on from you.”
Although James should never have seen this message, it highly angered him. This wasn’t the case 3 years ago, why the hell should it work now? He asked Grace if there was any chance they could be together in the future, and the response was that it wasn’t impossible, but incredibly unlikely.
Happy New Year? Heh…
James went into 2013, not wanting to believe what Grace had said. He concentrated on the fact that it wasn’t impossible, ignoring everyone’s advice that he should move on, because he knew that he couldn’t. He had to try and get her, even if it meant just getting hurt even more, because Grace meant a hell of a lot to him, and he wasn’t prepared to give that up.
EDIT: Well, I found more notes. I love archaeology. Essentially, James and Grace discussed the situation on an evening in January 2013, in which she told him that he should move on, and find someone who would love him. That was the eye-opener, and his notes say that he was going to try and see her merely as 'a very good friend, who happens to be very pretty. She didn't want anyone anyway.'
I leave my work with this message from Glenzinho:
"No Eris, you are the James."
And then James was a zombie.[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE]TL;DR: There were four children, named Lucy, Edmund, Peter and Susan. They found a magical land in the back of a wardrobe, met some talking animals, and killed a witch.
And then Edmund was a zombie.[/QUOTE]
|The Blog of DOOM||November 19, 2012, 3:31 pm|
Well, I'm pretty bored with nothing else to do...This might not belong in blogs, but oh well, it's [s]partly[/s] completely true..
So I was taking out the bins earlier, with a silver torch, similar to the one in Doom 3. It was very dark, 6pm at this time of year with no other lights apart from my torch.
It takes a fairly long time to do ALL the bins, usually around 10 minutes -_-
As I came to the last bin, I saw an orange light glowing on the horizon. A thing with two heads appeared and began to run towards me...
"I see them! The demons are real" I cried, "I must kill the demons!"
A voice replied, "No Tristan, you are the demons."
And then I was a zombie.
That is all.
|playing the acoustic guitar - then I dropped my pick..||September 9, 2012, 2:39 pm|
..Right in the hole...
I've played guitar about 4 years now, and I have never known a bigger irritation to occur...
I'm just sat there playing some random song which doesn't exist, then I hear a loud clatter inside the guitar.
My reaction was just a simple: [QUOTE][B]Ah[/B][/QUOTE]
But never mind! This has happened a fair few times, I can get the pick out in a jiffy!
[I]Ten Minutes Later:[/I]
I haven't even seen the pick, and it's still rattling about in there. Eventually, It falls into the centre, directly under the hole. So, okay then...I just gotta flip the guitar over and job done. Right?
Somehow it managed to slide down right back into the darkened depths that are the bottom of the guitar. Bollocks.
So I start shaking and jolting the flipped guitar about once more, now with numerous solids falling out and hitting me on the face (not the right ones though, unfortunately).
Eventually I've got it...behind a small ridge somewhere on the rim of the hole. I can't see it and guess what? It's bloody stuck there..
Pessimistically, I start thinking that eventually I'm gonna end up with a bruised face [I] what with all those bits and pieces falling out [/I] and a battered guitar [I] it's a pretty dense room [/I]
Amazingly, the guitar didn't smash, and the pick was now resting on both one of the strings, and the edge of the hole.
Right Eris! It's your big moment! Better not fuck this one up!
Guess what! I didn't. But seriously, though that took around 20 whole minutes in what has been known to take less than 20 seconds.
[B]If you are still reading after reading this blog FULLY, then you have too much time on your hands[/B]