Hellbent's Doomworld Forums Blog

Hellbent's Doomworld Forums Blog

Alan Watts January 17, 2014, 8:50 pm
I took a philosophy class about 7 years ago and one of the people we touched on in the class was Alan Watts. As I recall, he had an insightful way of looking at the world that resonated with me, although I don't remember too many specifics from his book The Book: On the Taboo Against Knowing Who You Are that we read, but thought maybe others are familiar with him and might have some interesting things to say on his behalf; and hopefully we'll get an interesting philosophical discussion going. Watts had a 'cameo' in the recent Spike Jonze film Her and I just saw a quote of his in a yt comment on the Stellardrone song Billions and Billions so felt like starting a thread about him.

Here is the Alan Watts quote: "You are something the whole universe is doing in the same way that a wave is something that the whole ocean is doing"

I had a what I simply might put as a perverted version of the guy's realization in the below video. There was no happy clear realization to the 'I'ness I discovered; just major freak out.

I wish Alan Watts was a little less dry. I think his insights were onto something.



srsly? January 14, 2014, 6:24 pm
This is a conversation I had with my friend last night. Guy is insane.


a poem December 27, 2013, 11:12 pm
There was a path at the edge of a forest,
that began with a swarthy tone,
that first left the field for the foe,
that wound its way from fern to grove;
There was a word where the wold met the world
where the short day saw the long one
where the river carved a stone
and where the lay of the land was all alone.
I knew a way where wolves would hunt
in groups and circle their prey.
Now there are tatters and little else
and prayers until they are numb.
I found a hole in the depths of time
and sunk my way through the ebbs and chimes
and woke in a land that sparkled and sang
where grass bent beneath a dazzling sky.
And a minuscule flicker of hope
like a tiny air-let released
rose up in my soul;
And for a brief moment
not all was lost.

killed my finger December 14, 2013, 9:02 am
Last summer I cut my finger with a dull knife. It was an extraordinarily dumb thing. I was annoyed at my grandmother for asking me to cut her some plants at 8pm. So I begrudgingly rushed outside with a knife because in my haste I didn't think to find clippers, and even if I had thought of them, I couldn't have been arsed to find them. So I start sawing the damn plants with a knife and it's not really working and I'm frustrated cause I had something better to do so I just frickin push the knife as hard as I can as I saw the damn plant and I cut through the bastard plant and into my index finger at an angle, above the top joint along the pad and side. A nice, curved cut. I immediately clinched the finger tight and saw no blood. It hurt a fair deal, but not excruciating agony. I held it tight and started pacing around wondering what to do. I figured it was a deep cut based on the pain and what had happened, but I wasn't really sure. I finally went to the bathroom to see, and, yep, it looked very deep; scarily so. I cursed and immediately squeezed my finger again.

My dad drove me to the ER and I held my finger the whole time. ER had me wait 2 hours before being seen, and I just kept squeezing my finger. The pain started going away, and I wondered maybe I might be squeezing too tight. When I tried to loosen my grip I scarcely could do so, my hand had become rigamortis in that clenched position. I was able to with some effort, tho. As the feeling came back I resumed tight pressure again. When the doc finally saw me he thought the cut was less than it was since it wasn't bleeding when I removed my finger. The blood eventually did get going again and 4 stitches were required. After a week and the stitches came out, I was slightly concerned by the amount of tingly/numb sensation in the tip of my finger. My dad's g/f assured me it was normal and that she had the same thing happen when she cut her hand and it took years/decade+ to heal significantly. But then a small clump of dead skin came off m index finger-and I didn't think much of it, but it never regrew. My finger now is skinnier above the top joint and I still avoid using it because of the sensation that it is damaging the finger somehow. I think I kinda killed a little bit of my finger when I applied so much pressure to the cut. I basically have a quasi-lame finger now. :-/

what is with macs? November 26, 2013, 5:45 pm
I download a file. I double click it. It extracts.

Okay.. file has extracted. Awesome. But wait... where is it? Scroll up and down the downloads folder -- can't find it. Arrange by name -- can't find it. Arrange by date -- can't find it. Arrange by size --can't find it. Arrange by date -- can't find it. I do a search for a unique string of characters in the zip file -- no dice. So I extract it again. File extracts. No sign of where it extracted to. I have this problem all the time and it drives me insane. :( Why so stupid design mac? Mac has no {right click -> extract to} feature.

grrrrrrrrrrrrrr (now holding and pressing a key no longer works--what is with my computer today .. grrrrrrrrr /end fuming frustration vent of patheticness.

Grandfather missing -- helicopter searching October 18, 2013, 10:10 pm
My grandfather is wont to roam about. We live in a very rural area. A few days ago some good samaritans found him on the road and were walking him back. I was calling for him from the porch up on the hill and they hollered back. Today, he wandered to the neighbors and I walked him back. Then he left again before supper and hasn't turned up since. We drove around and checked all his usual haunts but no one has seen him, so we called the police. Eventually K9s were deployed but still nothing. Now they have a chopper flying overhead that uses thermal imaging. Lot of deer out tonight. Hopefully my grandfather will be spotted among the wildlife.

Oh, right, he has pretty advanced Alzheimer's and diabetes.

Freedom to Ride in Debt based monetary system September 18, 2013, 3:58 pm
Ugh... finally got them to do a settlement on the account for $1900, which is only $370 less than what I owe, but still a whopping $515 more than the original amount of the loan when you factor in what I've already paid toward the balance. This is the fee I have to pay to get out of what would be an endless cycle of debt on my Freedom to Ride account. Avoid getting into debt at all costs. It's really not a place you want to be.

Insurance claim and family squabble August 21, 2013, 3:29 pm
Hi there,
I live with my dad and his super-geriatric parents (also referred to as post-post geriatric). I help care for them since they are a little bit like zombiemen wandering in a post-life twilight world: my grandfather has advanced alzheimer's and my grandmother is very feeble and needs help with just about everything and is also mentally on the slide. It's a pretty thankless job and the pay is basically room and board and meals (not as much as it should be for what I do).

This spring my dad's lit cigarette caught my grandparents' shed on fire, which is located below the large deck that is attached to the front of the house. The shed was damaged along with some hardware in the shed, some of it belonging to my dad, some of it to my uncle who lives up the hill from me and one item belonging to me, which was a carbon fiber bike valued at more than all the other damage combined. The bike, apparently, was actually made out of marshmallows: my bike was completely burnt to a crisp.

My dad put into motion the insurance claim. My uncle did not communicate with my dad about it at all, so apparently he was not too concerned? Who knows. My brother owns a bike shop in town where I financed the used bike. It was used, but new, the bike was worth $6000. We needed an original receipt for the bike but since it was an "inside deal" there was no original receipt. We determined the bike was worth $3800 and he printed up a receipt for that amount, back dated to when I purchased the bike. I faxed this to the insurance guy. Now all we were waiting on was the fire report from the local fire chief. After about 10 phone calls, 6 of which I left voice messages or spoke with his wife and 4 where I actually talked to the chief, he finally finished the fire report and I went to his house and collected it from him.

About two weeks later the check finally arrives. It goes to my aunt, my dad's sister. Now the check is less than any of us thought it would be, because there is a 20% depreciation on all the items and a $1000 deductible. So instead of a nice fat check for $5,500 we only got $3,600. My aunt informed my dad that I would not be getting the $3230 as itemized on the insurance claim, but an amount that would be fair to everyone involved. My aunt and uncle both want to know what I paid for the bike, which my dad (who is on my side of this fight over the pile of cash) thinks is irrelevant, and I feel the same way.

My argument is that I should at least get near the amount for my bike on the insurance claim, given that if my bike was not in the fire at all my aunt and uncle would not be able to try to take from my portion and would have to argue with my dad about getting enough money to fix the shed to be nicer than it was before and would have to use my grandparents' funds to fix some boards on the deck that need fixing anyway (unrelated to the fire). My aunt and uncle's argument is basically I don't need all that money from the bike and it should be used to fixing the shed as well as the deck.

My proposal would be that I would pay $330 of the $1000 deductible (about 1/3) and my dad and uncle could cover the rest of it. As far as not having enough money for the repairs, they should have been more proactive in the whole process and not just assume they can dip into my amount. My uncle told me to forget about offering to pay a portion of the deductible, we'll work it out in a way that is equitable and fair to everyone and said I don't need a $3000 bike, a $1200 one would do just fine (which of course irked me since I think that is completely beyond the point). He also said the house gets priority and the other items like his bee spinner thingamabob and my bike are secondary since it's called "home insurance". What do you guys think? Am I entitled to my amount, or should I look at this whole thing "equitably" give enough of my portion so the shed can be fixed better than it was before (so the roof no longer leaks) and the rotted boards on the deck can be replaced?

MD Everywhere August 15, 2013, 9:28 am
I have been tasked with coming up with a better logo than the current one for the company called MD Everywhere. Here is their current logo. Any ideas on good ways to represent a company that produces services to Doctors ... everywhere?


Reasoning with a mad man August 8, 2013, 4:00 pm
My grandfather has Alzheimer's. This video, while perhaps entertaining, is also interesting if you consider that my grandfather has no short term memory for most everything that happens throughout the day, but he does seem to remember the cumulative effect of how he feels about how he is treated. In the video I am trying to get my grandfather to agree to let me help him change his diapers.


Edit: I imagine for everyone seeing this it must be a pretty sad sight. Well, you get used to it and it's not as moribund as it appears.