|Mapper's block, depression, and my birthday.||November 19, 2013, 8:10 am|
You know that mapset I was working on called tracks.wad? The one I released a six-map demo for? Yeah, I really haven't been able to work on it ever since, I'm not getting any more ideas for it. But hopefully I will in the next year. Mapper's block sucks.
What's worse is everything in my personal life is fucking me up right now. I've been focused on getting hired for an entry-level job ever since leaving high school, and no one has the balls to hire me. At the same time I'm trying to keep my college grades up. My mother has become so hell-bent on getting me a job before the Christmas season because she worries too much that I will not have any money left. Then again, when not at work, she's the one sitting somewhere with her iPhone games all day, so I'm really not understanding this shit at all.
I've been having a lot of conflicts in my immediate family (mother and father only) and they have been getting more frequent day by day. Most of the time, the arguments are usually about me and getting a job. Yes I'm fucking applying for shit, why don't you two realize that it takes a lot of time and effort and oftentimes I don't get called for an interview? It doesn't matter if I'm involved, when they're yelling at anyone, I'm always uncomfortable. This whole month there was some argument with them every other day, and I've been getting more depressed because of it. I've almost wanted to take my own life just so they could realize how much they're fucking my life up. I didn't for one reason.
Because now today is my birthday, and due to all the shit that's been argued about, I feel like they fucking ruined my 19th. In that morning I told them to never argue about anything for at least an entire fucking day. I just hope this day doesn't become a war of words between everyone. So I did get some presents from other friends and relatives, money, gift cards (for shit I don't use), and maybe the occasional weird gift. My parents gave me some cards telling me they love me and are sorry for stuff, yeah I've heard it before, it's appreciation, but they should have not pressured me to the fucking brink on something I'm trying to do myself. They should allow me to have some free time as well, maybe I can cure that mapper's block I'm currently having.
EDIT: geo, this is what I meant by tracks.wad.
|Tropical Storm Andrea Summary||June 7, 2013, 9:00 pm|
Uh yeah, the storm was a dud.
Although I will say when I registered here I didn't even know there was a tropical storm out there, and that it would hit my area as well.