| FUCK FUCK FUCK (p.s. happy new year) | January 1, 2007, 3:18 am |
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Cabernet Sauvignon & Stilton to finish off New Year's Eve. Before that, a few glasses of cheep champagne (Friexinet), sliced Ukranian sausage, cheddar cheese, and soda crackers. a Guy Lombardo LP from 1958 playing on my dad's hi-fi, and counting down the seconds to another shitty year. *blows party hooter* and now, the crisis: Christmas went well, and on the 28th me and my dad drove back up to Red Deer to move me into a new place. A girl (whose accursed name shall be withheld) with whom I had arranged to move into a spare room, posted as a vacancy on the off-campus housing board, was supposed to let me move in on the 28th. We got back to my residence, vacated by my roommates for the holidays and with all my worldly possessions packed into banker's boxes and milk crates in advance, loaded 1/3 of them into my dad's SUV, and drove over to the house. Only, no one was home. And noone was answering the phone. A few aimless hours later, she calls me back. She had been on vacation too, and while she was gone, her other roommate/landlord had given the room to someone else. There was nothing she could do about it. I was furious. I hadn't paid a damage deposit or down payment (that was to be paid after I moved in), so I had no basis to challange what had happened. So much for handshake deals. This was totally out of the blue, My dad said that the chance of this happening was fractionally possible, yet it happened anyways. We went for dinner to try and think things through at East Side Mario's, where my dad bought me a double rye and coke by request to help ease my stress. So now I had a room full of shit to clear out by Dec. 31st. I have no job, i'm literally flat broke, I needed the following things, ASAP: a) a place to temporaraly store my stuff b) a place to sleep c) a place to move said stuff to with a bedroom and a mailing address d) a job Not easy to find within 2 weeks, I know. Red Deer has a housing shortage, just like every other place in Alberta. Now i'm running out of options. Here's what i've narrowed down: 1) Find a place to live by myself in Red Deer, for under $400/mo. 2) Find a 2-bedroom place in RD with a roommate for under $800/mo. 3) Find a place to live in Calgary by myself (under $400/mo = impossible 4) Find a roommate/friend in Calgary and split the bills. 5) move back into my parent's basement for a while, get a job here, and then move back to Red Deer once i'm financially secure. 6) Stay in Calgary permanently. I really want to be living in Red Deer right now. For a hick city, it has alot of potential for me. I wanted to start a band this summer, I wanted to explore the city some more this summer on my bike. I wanted to play at The Vat on sundays nights, do Name That Tune & Karaoke on Tuesdays at The FarSide. I wanted to stay out late and cause trouble like old times. I need advice here, and quick. I'm here 'till at least Wendsday, I have the funeral of a dear friend to attend. |
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| Yuletide Farewell | December 21, 2006, 6:27 am |
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OBSERVE THE SOLSTACE AND KEEP IT HOLY Today I part with my high speed cable modem, by returning it to Shaw. I don't know when I will be able to log in again to DW, or even use the internet at all. After the 31st, my student account at the college will expire, and I will no longer be able to print off resumes as easilly as I used to, or even have the ability to use an (ugh) windows computer. And as part of my flunking out of college, my parents insist I pay for my own cell phone and internet this new year, and I may not be able to afford both. I need a job first. Happy christmas, you brits. likewise to US doomers. And a happy new year. |
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| Things I will miss about RDC | December 15, 2006, 6:06 am |
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#1: The FarSide Bar & Grill. Don, Connie, Kerry, James, Rikki, and Tim are some of the nicest people I have ever had the pleasure of buying food and drink from. I've hung out with a few of them too, even been offered a job there on more than one occasion. In the mornings they have the famous Eggs & Stuff plate for $4.75 CAN, which is 2 slices of texas toast w. margarine, 2 slices of either bacon or sausage patty (I always go for the sausage), 2 eggs any style (scrambled for me), and a shitload of deep fried tater tots being passed off as hashbrowns. In the afternoons, Poutine is the big seller, along with burgers, killer pre-made sandwiches, or crazy old Don's dinner of the day. The evenings are ususally dominated by heavy drinking for dirt cheep prices, rednecks taking on the Boxing or Big Buck Hunter games, and Name That Tune & Karaoke on Tuesdays at 9. the acoustics suck, mostly due to the architecture and the slanted tin roof, but the place is truly the heart and soul of the college. #2: The Bench. A small wooden bench overlooking the Waskasoo Creek valley south of the college, painted white, with a memorial plaque dedicated to an elderly couple who enjoyed the view there at one time. If they only knew that the bench has long been the favorite outdoor, off-campus spot for stoners every year for 1,000 years, probably even before the white man came. One of the few neerby locations where you can actually see most of the constellations, the milky way, northern lights, and meteor showers with very little light polution. Watch out for buck deer. #3: Residence Towers commons room AKA Steveistan. A big screen TV with no cable connecting it to...well...the cable outlet. Uncomfortable couches good for people watching and lying around stoned in. #4: The Margaret Parsons Theatre. My lecture hall for Art History & Astronomy, with comfortable movie theatre-style chairs with those stupid boards that spring up for a writing surface, but never work right (you wind up putting your neck out when writing a test). Also the stage for Andy Garland's award-winning play "Rum & Ritalin", of which I was a stagehand for. The script has recently been purchased by a major movie studio. #5: Tim, residence manager. I can't beleive this guy has put up with my bullshit for as long as he has. He knows I'm a heavy potsmoker, he knows I do it in my room, he knows that all my roommates the last year and a half hated my guts, and i'm pretty sure HE hates my guts, but he's always been relitivly relaxed about it, probably the conditioning of too many management seminars. "Hey Tim, how's it going?" "SOLID!!!" #6: The school library. Your average college library, but with a few cool exceptions. The Media & Toy collection on the 2nd floor, which very few students know about, has over 200 blockbuster and influential films, especially hard to find Art House & cult films (Triumph of the Will on 4 16mm filmstrips, anyone?) Toys galore for childcare students, including that crazy Space station playset I loved in preschool, in perfect condition. Lots of good classical music on vinyl,too, like Bach performed by Glenn Gould, or the works of Stockhousen, original 1960's pressings! The staff is incredibly awesome and hardworking, and have been good to help me find weird shit, and trusting me with their precious media. #7: Jamison T. Mr. Edward Forty Hands himself, AKA Scarecrow, AKA "That punk-ass motherfucker who stole 6 pitchers of green lager on St. Patricks day and drank it all to himself!". If one student has left his mark on RDC, it's him. #8: The Fishbowl. 2nds story glass window overpass connecting to the Arts Center, and even though I have no business there anymore, the view is amazing. Overlooks the east courtyard towards the library. #9: The Forum, 2nd story. An outdoor concrete concourse, has the best view of the sunrise anywhere on campus. Also the best place the smoke and spit. #10: The Arts Center. Bottom of my list because I have a grudge against some teacher who, at one time, I thought were on my side. This actor factory has an amazing, high-tech procenium theatre with a professional surround sound system (too bad the sound teacher is TONE DEAF! FUCK YOU, WONG!), it's a shame they put such ridiculously pretentious plays like "The Dada Play" or "Alarum Within" in this building, I have nothing but hatred for the clique-like staff, and pity for the poor techies. Good luck finding a job in Harper's Canada, kids. |
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| Open Em7 Tuning | November 20, 2006, 11:02 pm |
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Hey guys try this: E B D Ab B e open barre cords work great up and down the neck, works good with a slide too. You can use your other fingers for adding 9th or 11ths. I've been using this for strange basslines too. recordings coming soon |
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| Sausage McMuffins (No Egg) | November 4, 2006, 3:28 am |
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Is there truly any finer breakfast sandwich? Seriously. Here in Canada, the Sausage McMuffin (served at McDonalds from 6 am to 10 am, 11 in some places) is one of the best ways to kick off a day for me, and on so many levels: Budget, taste, replication, energy, and memory. Memory, you ask? when I was 13 I went on a whitewater rafting trip with my family. that morning, my mother insisted that, while I was not hungry, I should have something to fill my stomach for the long drive to Sundre. She managed to fit a glass of milk (blech!) and a NutraGrain bar in me before we left. I found out the hard way that very morning that I was lactose intolerant. Without going into details, there was no way I could keep down that milk in a fast moving rental van on the QE2 freeway. After we cleaned up the mess, we stopped at a Wal-Mart with the built in McDonalds, and my sick, shamed person was comforted by Sausage McMuffins. Hot, dense food with nothing harsh like egg, milk, citric acid, or caffeine. Similarly, when I was in junior high I had to have a blood test, and I had an intense fear of needles (thanks alot, Star Trek: First Contact). Anyways, I had managed to get myself through the grueling process (to date I havn't had to have another blood test), and afterwards my dad took me to the McDonalds drive through for quick ood that would help me rebuild blood cells, similar to the cookie and orange juice you insane people get after you...ugh...voluntarily give blood to the blood bank. Financially: In Canada, Sausage McMuffins are included on the Extra Value Menu at $1.39 CDN (working out to $1.23 USD) + 6% GST. This is a bargain for what some would consider swill, but what I consider delicious Substance: My sister, Sarah, worked at the local McDonalds for under a year, the only job so far that she was able to hold. She was still naive and in high school, so I don't blame her for not knowing many of the internet-supported rumors I loved taunting her with. That McDonalds clearcuts Brazillian rainforest to convert the valuable real estate into cattle ranches and slaughterhouses, that they keep their chickens in battery cages and de-beak them mechanically, feeding them a cornucopia of antibiotics and fertilization drugs to (try to) keep them healthy in their own waste and so they can make their egg quota (more on why I don't like the egg part later). That McDonalds employees jizz in the secret sauce. Fact is, the sausage mcmuffin has only 4 parts: the toasted english muffin, some margarine the pork sausage patty, and a slice of american cheese, not the crappy Kraft Singles slices. the pork is of higher quality than what you get at Dennys, A&W, hell even the cafeterian and the bar & grill here at the college don't have sausage patties this good. Pork's a little roughly chopped compared to a pack of frozen Maple Leaf storebought ones, but they're both distributed by Sysco Inc. Only difference is packaging. Now the $1.39 doesn't come with egg, If you can call it egg. Don't get me wrong, eggs are an important food, and essential to many kinds of cooking (cakes, merangues, sauces and mayonaise), but when it comes to being a staple of breakfast, I only like my eggs 2 ways: scrambled and in omlettes. Fried, poached, soft boiled, florentine, all of those don't mix well with my pallete. Hard boiled eggs are time intensive and take too long to cool. Edit: shit, I posted this too soon by accident. The egg part of an Egg McMuffin (the bacon variety or so-called "canadian bacon" is inferior to the overall sodium and flavour of the sausage patty) or a Sausage McMuffin with egg is usually rubbery, undercooked in the centre, and has the yolk all mixed in with the white. Egg yolk in all it's cooked forms is pretty much disgusting on it's own, the roots of my distaste being a passover supper I once attended were egg yolk was one of the symbolic foods I had to eat. And it's easy to make one of these bad boys at home. Not identical to the product you get at McDicks, but nonetheless fulfilling. a bag of english muffins, some "I Can't Beleive It's Not Butter" spray (yes, it's what they use), a box of relitivly lean sausage patties, and some square slices of american cheese (again, NOT Kraft Singles, I can't stress this enough, those godawful things have 1/4 cup milk in them). So ends my tyrade on the only good food that McDonalds serves. While i'm not sure how they treat their pig farmers, or the pigs in general (ever seen The Meatrix?), the end product is the kind of fuel I need and a bargain price. My daily cycling across town more than burns off the fat and carbohydrates I consume, and the McDonalds is less than a mile away from the campus. Go get one. you'll be glad you did. |
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| Steely Dan | October 18, 2006, 6:47 am |
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"Drive west on sunset, to the sea..." I first disovered Steely Dan in late June of 2006, during my first summer living alone and independantly of my parents. I was living with Doug Wedgwood, father of classmate Kris Wedgwood, in a house he was renting in Lower Fairview, generally onsidered the ghetto of Red Deer. We lived at the far west end of the rundown neighbourhood on a cul-de-sac filled with yound families and retired seniors, shelted from the weather my a steep hill arved by glaciers. We had a garage in the back where we kept my bike, as well as Kris's various incomplete soldering and de-soldering junk, the tools, and empty beer bottles. "Turn that jungle music down, just until we're out of town..." I remember it very clearly: I was working on my bike on a hot summer afternoon, cooling with a 40 oz coke and lime crush slurpee, the radio cranked in the garage and tuned to CKUA, independent radio from the University of Alberta in Edmonton. Mulligan Stew, a eclectic radio programme hosted by Terry David Mulligan was up after 2 hours of blues and roots, a refreshing change. Terry picks random songs that he happens to hear at say, a shopping mall or at a friend's house. Formerlly a VJ for CBC when they showed music videos before MTV or MuchMusic had been created, he's like the Dick Clark of Canadian media, but totally in touch with international, independent, and just plain cool music. His show brings memories of BBQ's back at home with the radio on the deck and pork on the grill. "...This is no one night stand, it's a real occasion..." It struck me like a splash of cold, fresh water. Soul music. A dry reggae kit with sparse reverb. A teasing, intricate, deep electric piano leaving the ghosts of notes it used to hit. A bass guitar so calm and controlled like Fleetwood Mac's "Dreams", but deeper and funkier. I hummed along to the song, but I couldn't keep in tune, it kept changing it's progression to chords I never would have predicted or expected. F# to B, then down a fourth to G#, but then even lowed to E, and then back to G#? what the hell is going on here? you can't do that in pop music! "...Close your eyes and you'll be there, it's everything they say..." Horns...a small horn section, big on trumpet, alto and tenor sax, but there's a trombone in there too...matching that great little shakeup, followed by that B9...man this is as smooth as velvet..smooth as milk... wait, I know that voice... Donald Fagen. I associated his name with the word "Fag", which i'm sure he got teased alot into adulthood. I was only familier with his solo album "the Nightfly", a concept album about growing up in the 50's but with very 80's sounds. The only track from it I knew was I.G.Y (International Geophysical Year) which has this spooky introduction, and strange polyrhythms that my young ears could not appreciate. It's one of the first CD's my dad ever bought when CD's first came out which, along with The Cream of Eric Clapton, made up most of my listening around the ages of 2 and 3. I can distinctly remember hearing I.G.Y. and Layla with images of the wood-paneled air conditioner in out apartment in Saskatoon (we moved to Calgary when I was 3). Mulligan revealed that the artist was, in fact, Steely Dan, and not some jazzy Motown or Stax single. "Babylon Sisters". Hell, they didn't even release it as a single, Terry just Picked it. It was catchy, and it was just what I needed, some new music for jam night at The Vat. How good was their other material? Did they have any acoustic stuff? Would I have to learn tricky jazz chords like majors with added 2nds? So here's what i've learned about Steely Dan. It's not some guy with that name, the band is actually named after a massive steel dildo that a young man's girlfriend fuck him up the ass with after volunteering to give him a rimjob. The band was two creepy looking guys named Donald Fagen, who could play great piano, but liked cool experimental jazz stuff on the electric piano (think of that scene in The Blues Brothers where Ray Charles busts out "Shake Ya Tailfeather" on the pawn shop Rhodes), and also dug early synthesizers. The other guy was this skinny, junkie looking guy with really long hair and a thick mustache named Walter Becker. Both guys hung out at an upstate New York arts college, probably smoked alot of pot and opium, read beatnik masterpieces, and listened to great jazz. They tried to start a rock band, but discovered that the songs they wrote required more thanjust a guy on piano, bass, and drums, so they hired a shitload of session musicians for their albums, resulting in only touring for 2 years after their debut. The guys could never be rock stars, they didn't have the look or the right sound. They didn't just write good stuff; they produced good stuff, constantly. Every detail of their music is scrutinizingly meticulous, from the pacing of the hi hats to the depth of the phasing on vocal tracks. and this was stoner music too: i could toke up and turn my brain off and it would still get better. The Dan put out 7 albums in the 70's, one every year from 1972 to 1977, then they missed 2 years while getting hit by cars, having master tracks deleted, having their girlfriend die of heroin overdose, you know the usual things that happened to rock bands in the 70's. by the time they released Gaucho in 1980, they had become a bunch of old farts who were being mocked by the young upcoming 80's yuppies. They didn't release another album together for 20 years. The Magnificent Seven: Can't Buy a Thrill (Pop Rock, good debut, typical 1972 record) Countdown to Ecstasy (Weird fucking album but some good songs) Pretzel Logic (a black & white snapshot of their college years) Katy Lied (the one album by them that doesn't sound better on vinyl) The Royal Scam (the darkest and funkiest of their works) Aja (Jazz Pop at it's finest. Chord Progressions that amaze me) Gaucho (one of the first albums to use computerized drum beats. So 80's) So why am I telling you about this lousy band from the 70's that your parents probably listened to and you probably don't like? Well, because I didn't grow up listening to it, I discovered it independently of my parents through a chance encounter on the radio. Not since Wilco, and NIN before that has a band caused me to obsess over every detail of their music, their background, and their rock legend. I can't tell you where to start, but I think that if you like classic rock, any of Miles Davis' late 60's work, or are a guitarist/musician looking for some interesting, challanging, weird and downright funky material, that Steely Dan may just be the band for you. |
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| New Old Music | October 10, 2006, 3:26 am |
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Half a box of LP's, courtesy of my cousin John. including such gems as: Queen - The Game The Rolling Stones - Still Life (American tour, 1981) Pete Townshend - White City Pete Townshend - All the best cowboys have chinese eyes Pete Townshend - Deep End Live Pete Townshend - Scoop Concerts for the People of Kampuchea Big Country - The Crossing Supertramp - Even in the quietest moments Waylon Jennings - Music Man Ozzy Osborne - Blizzard of Ozz Joe Jackson - Night and Day Joe Jackson - Body and Soul Ry Cooder - Get Rythym Steve Winwood - Arc of a Diver Steve Winwood - Back in the High Life George Thorogood - Maverick Van Halen - Diver Down The Eagles - The Long Run Dire Straits - Brothers in Arms Also the following garage sale fodder: McVicar OST Bryan Ferry - Bete Noire Ringo Starr - Blast from your Past Warren Zevon - Bad luck streak in Dancing school Paul McCartney - McCartney II The Steve Miller Band - Book of Dreams Sting - The dream of the Blue Turtles George Thorogood - Better than the Rest (bad shape) Fleetwood Mac - Tusk (already have a copy of this thick bastard) Paul Simon - Graceland (got it) 2 copies of Roxy Music's "Avalon" (I already have 1 copy too many) Van Halen - 1984 (got it) ...and.... ...wait for it... Heuy Lewis & The News - Fore! |
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| Do You Realize... | September 12, 2006, 11:20 pm |
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it's been over a year since we last talked? sometimes I wonder how you are. most times I don't care. I've changed, have you? or are you exactly the way I remember? I'm sure there's things we want to tell each other but i'm also sure we're never talking again. |
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| Trailer Trash | June 3, 2006, 12:15 pm |
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Life goes on after college Well, I shouldn't say AFTER. While I may have gotten a GPA of 1.04 and been rejected from the theatre studies program, and my school status is "required to withdraw", I can still possibly get into college again for next september. The trick? Appealing my mark and changing majors. Student services assures me that 95% of all appeals go through, elimingating the order that i'm not allowed to attend college for a year. Even so, this will be my last year at Red Deer College. As for switching majors, I have no idea what to take. I'm leaning towards the new Open Studies program; very similer to General Studies, but you pick which individual classes you want to attend. I'm thinking Film Analysis and Astronomy as a few, but I need to talk to an acedemic advisor. I am no longer pursuing a degree or diploma. So, as far as the long term plan is concerned, I want to attend APRA (http://www.apra.ca) in Calgary, once I have the $6,000 to pay for it. They don't grant certificates, so they don't take tuition. Last year, when my RDC admission status was in limbo, I applied there and was pre-accepted by my interveiwer, a studio technician. However, as mentioned before, my tuition wouldn't cover it. So now I work. I will work blue coller jobs again until I have more than enough funds to attend APRA. My resume looks good, I've got years of carpentry and metalworking skill, as well as everything I learned from the Theatre (rigging, lighting, sound, carp, welding, management). Which brings me back to the reason I posted this blog in the first place. I am now working at Travelaire, a large RV/Trailer (Caravans for you brits) manufacturing plant close to where I live. It pays $11.45 CAN/hour and is union (steelworkers). The people are extreemly nice, but blue coller dumbasses with bad teeth. So, for now, life is good again. |
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| Wasted Year | April 25, 2006, 6:11 am |
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Life, as it turns out, is not always fair old news My future has become cloudy I had a department year-end interveiw last thursday, and needless to say, it did not go as well as planned. The feedback was generally negative, and my instructors have made it clear that they do not want me to return to the program next year. My stagecraft teacher says what, while I'm great to have around and talk about music and such with him, I'm have not met expectations of the program, and that while I get objectives acomplished, I tend to be distracted. The shop foreman apparently doesn't want me there at all, and had been putting up a pleasent facade towards me this whole time. My drafting teacher insists I am constantly late in both assignments and punctuality. My lighting teacher didn't say nothing during the whole thing, my audio teacher thinks I should be in a music program, or take a year off to work. My stage management teacher knows I am a threat to the program and a threat to upcoming productions. My first words after the interveiw were "I need a cigarette". I then proceded to the washroom to wash my face, and seek out comfort. Somehow. I have been reduced, rendered, torn apart. I've spent the past 5 days on the brink of conciousness, intoxicated on what little I can afford. Hard liquor has dissappeared and used bongwater has returned in it's place. I want to caress someone, but my hands are on fire. I want to scream but I am silent. I want to get emo on your asses. My watch has stopped. I move out on Sunday. I've been living in residence for 8 months, but it seems like so much longer. Pizzas, parties, fights, drama, cowboys, fags, schitzos, posers, so much booze. So now my options are limited. While a week ago, I saw myself attending a second year of Theatre Studies, and possibly a sound design practicum with few cares, I am left with harsh reality on my doorstep. 1. work full time next year. 2. attend college next year, different program 3. attend college, no program, classes that intrest me, but have no career advantages (i.e. film analysis), and work part time. Eventually, I'm going to have to tell my parents, but not quite yet. I'm very disturbed by what's happened, and I have noone to blame but myself. |
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