Ledillman's Doomworld Forums Blog

Ledillman's Doomworld Forums Blog

I hate when I dream about my father July 20, 2014, 7:44 pm
This tends to happen sometimes.
When i'm dreaming about my father I tend to wake up with tears, mainly because the end of those dreams are always just sad as hell for me.

My dad died some time ago from cancer (If i recall correctly), it was very shocking for me, I remember very ell stading at his side in the hospital while he passed away and I could not believe it. Most of that sadness that I felt was because I was remembering the time I didn't spend with him, and the way he looked weeks and probably months before his death (very skinny and with some bad humour) and because he liked to be alone... or so I thought.

2 nights before I dreamed about my father, he was in his bedroom with some cards (he really loved poker!) and when I saw him i was like about to cry when he called me and asked me if I wanted to play with him. I said yes.
We played and talked a lot, it was very emotional, because we talked about when I was a little kid and we played and talked (we rarely talked the past 2 years before he died, but I started talking to him more months before), I don't know why, but instead of common lights we were using some candles. At the end of the dream the candles were about to fade when he asked for a hug, and then we hug each other. I recall waking up and remembering everything and started to cry a lot.
So i'm not sure what it does mean... it seems that I really wanted to apologize and said hoy much I loved him, but I can do it only in my dreams.

I don't recall having a funny or good dream about my dad, they're always sad.



In other news, I think it's time to start mapping again to distract myself.
1 Comment

Oh, I love you, Mantecol July 5, 2014, 11:22 am
Ok, so i don't know what is happening to me, but the past 3 weeks i've been chasing stores to find Mantecol. In short words, is an Argentinian candy, and wikipedia says:
"Under the brands Mantecol and Nucrem is marketed a typical dessert of the cuisine of Argentina, a sort of semi-soft nougat made from peanut butter. It was originally created and marketed in the 1940s by the confectionery company Georgalos. Founded by a Greek immigrant family, his main reference, Miguel Georgalos, took the inspiration in a dessert of Greek cuisine, the halva."

That's it, it's fucking incredible, i buy at least 2 mantecols per week, it's a madness, i can't stop thinking of it when i'm hungry for candy.

I never eated Nucrem before, but it seems that is tastier than Mantecol.
Right now i'm eating a 110 gram Mantecol bar and it's freaking delicious.
Do i have a problem with this? it seems to, but i don't care.

Talking about food addictions, i also like (in an incredible way) Kentucky Fried Chicken... oh my god, i want it NOW.
5 Comments

I finally have a notebook May 10, 2014, 4:13 pm
So i've always used other people's notebooks or computer to do some works, study, play videogames, mapping, etc.
And finally yesterday i was able to get a new notebook for myself, so i'm actually happy, because it was a lucky sale i saw while looking at other notebooks that costed a lot of money.

Some specs:
Acer
Intel Pentium quad core processor N3520 (2M Cache, 2.42 Ghz)
NVIDIA GeForce 820M with 1 GB dedicated VRAM
14.0 HD LED LCD
4 GB DDR3 L Memory
1000 GB HDD
So this week i'll be testing some games my bro has in his steam account and other stuff.

Next thing i need is a USB mouse but i'll buy that later...
3 Comments

Started my new-old doom webpage February 24, 2014, 12:03 am
So it's official now, some days ago I uploaded my Ugly Doom webpage were I'll post my short crappy reviews/opinions of wads, talk about other projects, my own projects and misc, everything I do there is doom related... or me-related, I also have plenty of Doom links too.

http://deimosvdplas.webcindario.com/index.html

It has a creepy old style structure and visuals, it's my first time with a personal webpage so don't be so rude :-P
Anyways there it is, my personal doom space in the web, i'll update it at least every week... I hope.

UPDATE 07/03/2014

I've added downloads for 3 projects (one of them is on the unreleased/cancelled section) and one of them is multiplayer.
14 Comments

I got this Metallica CD and Maiden T-Shirt February 21, 2014, 8:17 pm
I got this Metallica CD of their first album Kill 'em All (it's my favourite!) for only US $10 with 2 extra songs: Blitzkrieg and Am I evil?, both of them are covers, originally by Blitzkrieg and Diamond Head.

Here is a photo (WARNING: BIG PHOTOS!):

http://imageshack.com/a/img585/4584/jxuq.jpg

And this Iron Maiden t-shirt that has the Futureal single cover (originally a poster that came with the single) made by Derek Riggs (BIG photo again):

http://imageshack.com/a/img163/1117/wkdz.jpg
3 Comments

So this anime made me cry at it's first episode... January 20, 2014, 11:57 am
I'm talking about Yu Yu Hakusho, I used to watch this anime a lot when I was a kid, never understood too much, but it sure entertain me.

I found a web page to watch this again but with japanese original audio with subs, I readed what was this show about, so basically the protagonist died at 14 when a car hit him trying to save a litle kid that was playing football and etc.

I watched the first episode, but I didn't expect to cry, 'manly' tears started to fall when he was a ghost and he went to his own funeral, and his mother started crying, almost everybody was sad, even me, but I couldnt contain myself of crying when this little kid saved by him and his mother went to the funeral and he said thanks for saving him.


Sure, silly thing you can say, but it mean a lot, there aren't too much animes that made me cry, like... 3 or 4, and I watch anime from the 80's to now (last anime I saw, and still airing is nagi no asukara), and this is the first one that made me cry in it's very first episode.
23 Comments

when everything went wrong December 12, 2013, 1:31 pm
So this year was pretty sad to me specially for my football (well, for some people is 'soccer') team that has 'won' 3 second places this year, 2 finals against other teams and one of them was by not scoring enough goals.

That makes me so freaking sad, mangry, etc. I don't think that we have bad players, coach, etc, it's maybe some kind of magic thingy that doesn't allows us to win anything this year...
I've cried a lot for my team, it's like a passion, few people can feel this like me... and in the otherside, deaths, family deaths, this years has been so shit for me.

But, not at all, some things have been good, like my grade, finishing games (silly, but makes me happy)family and friends reunion, etc.

I just hope I will have better times next year, but this year, has been like crap.

_
In other news I will probably finish some project (of anything, doom maps, work things, etc) in the next days.
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