Linkrulezall's Doomworld Forums Blog

Linkrulezall's Doomworld Forums Blog

TL;DR Problems with Education November 17, 2014, 8:33 pm
I know someone, somewhere who's undoubtedly got it worse off than me would probably read this and laugh at me for thinking that I've got "real" problems, but I need to get this shit out of my system.

For the past couple of months I've been dealing with quite a bit of depression and anxiety. A lot of it has to do with school. There's a couple of other factors, but they're pretty insignificant by comparison. Anyways, how many of you are aware of the International Baccalaureate? A quick google search will bring up thousands of people who describe it as something akin to "A fancy euphemism for Hell." They weren't kidding.

I'm already taking 6 of the hardest classes that my school has to offer, which I could probably deal with if that was all. The thing that's really driving me up the wall is a 7th non-class that they call Center Of The Hexagon. So in addition to the heaviest workload I've had in my entire life (including actually having a real job), I have to write two extra essays (The EE, which is 2,000-4,000 words long over a chosen topic and the TOK essay that's 1,200-1,600 words long over a prescribed title that makes no sense) and do 150 hours of community service. Think about that for a moment. Getting caught driving drunk would net less mandatory community service hours.

By now you're probably wondering "If you're so miserable with this system, why not drop it and go with AP or something?" Well, not only would that mean I'd be wasting 3.5 years worth of effort but I'd also be blowing my chances for the biggest financial advantage that I could ever hope for in my entire life barring the Rolling Cash 5 jackpot (which ain't happening). I've been going to this school for 4 straight years, so if I get accepted to Oberlin College then they'll pay my tuition. There's no way that my family and I would be able to afford something like that on our own, and we're already living significantly less than extravagantly. The staff has told me that at least 2 students last year got turned down for not taking the hardest classes, and that they're looking for IB diploma candidates (Take note for later that I said CANDIDATES, not graduates). This is my last-ditch effort at reaching above the bar for acceptance, and it's killing me.

The one thing I've done 100% right is getting a 30 on my ACT. My GPA is a 3.0 cumulative (because I didn't care freshman year and the flu killed my grades sophomore year) and a 3.3 so far senior year. I had straight As with the exception of 1 B and 1 D+. Why do I have a D+, you ask? There was one 100 point project that was worth 40% of my grade for the quarter in Environmental Studies that I turned in later than the 3-day grace period they gave me after being incapacitated for a few days by sickness. I had been turning in "A" work that entire class, and even that assignment was "A" work, but because it was late they gave me 50% and pulled my grade down from a B+ to a D+. That single-handedly brought my GPA down below the college's average right there. If I want to have a shot, I really need to focus all my efforts on getting my grades up this quarter. The problem is that I can't do that and keep ahead on my Center of the Hexagon shit at the same time. I already gave it all I had last quarter and they still fucked me.

However, I've been doing some thinking, and what's really the point of focusing on Center Of The Hexagon at all when it has no effect on my GPA and by the time any college knows whether I actually got an IB diploma or failed the Diploma Program and just got a regular one I'll have already either been accepted or denied in advance? Every single college I've looked at says they're looking for IBDP CANDIDATES, not actual recipients of an IB diploma. Even if I fail Center Of The Hexagon and end up with a normal high school diploma, I still took the hardest classes they had to offer and the colleges wouldn't know any different. However, if I go up front and drop it altogether so that I can focus on my other work then I'll technically no longer be an IBDP candidate.

I'm faced with a bit of an existential crisis here. I just wish I could know in advance which path would lead to me getting accepted (or if all of my options right now lead to failure) so that I could stop agonizing about it already and just know where my efforts need to lie and power through it all. It's tearing me apart inside even though it probably shouldn't be.

Does anyone have any advice before I completely lose it and end up doing something stupid that I'll regret later?
5 Comments

argh how do i sleep again August 15, 2014, 11:52 pm
My sleep cycle has been all out of whack ever since summer started. Far too many days where I've stayed up until the early hours of the morning and woken up at some time between Noon and 2PM. It came to a head yesterday when I accidentally slept in until 3PM after staying up until 4AM the night before (not by my own choice, but because I simply couldn't fall asleep) so I figured I'd try a little experiment. As I'm typing this I've been awake for nearly 33 hours, thinking that if I exhausted myself enough that I'd be asleep by now and finally be able to start waking up before noon again. Surprise, surprise, despite feeling like I was about to just pass out on the floor earlier today I'm somehow not tired again.

Does anyone have any advice on how to resolve this issue? Better yet, does anyone else have a sarcastic response that won't help in any way whatsoever? That would be much appreciated.
5 Comments

The Best* Zandronum Server In The World July 2, 2014, 10:46 pm
This was also posted in the Doom Videos thread, but I wanted to mirror it here to prevent it from getting lost in the sea of other doom videos from said thread.
[yt]uPpJ7HHcW1g[/yt]

*Except in Nebraska. Restrictions apply, results may vary, not for use with other prescription medications. Linkrulezall may not be held responsible for any disappointment, hurt feelings, leg spasms, enthusiastic dishwashing, internal thunderings, indigestion, heartburn, random breakouts of impromptu breakdancing, amnesia, spine loss, explosive vomit, guts becoming huge, and/or untimely demise which may occur as a result of this not actually being the best Zandronum server in the world.
0 Comments

So the other day I got a job June 19, 2014, 9:22 pm
For the summer I'm working at the IT department across a private school district in northeast Ohio. It mostly involves setting up new computer equipment, mounting hard drives, setting up the software and whatnot, and cleaning things. Other days I might work at the facilities department and do groundskeeping or painting-type jobs.

Yeah, that's about it. $10/hour. I would post a picture of my ID card here but that would involve revealing my full, real name.
3 Comments

Ouch, my dignity May 31, 2014, 11:59 pm

:v
15 Comments

"Cross Traffic Does Not Stop" May 6, 2014, 10:40 pm
So yeah, there's this intersection up the street from me that always has shit going on in it because of damn fools who don't know that they're gonna get t-boned by the oncoming traffic if they just go out into it without looking. The reason why I bring this up is because earlier today I was stopped at said intersection and someone in a Jeep decided to pull out and turn, failing to notice the oncoming old lady. The old lady smashed into the jeep, and then one of them (I can't remember which, it happened too fast) skidded into the front of mine and fucked it up (front of the frame's all bent out of shape and the wheel housing's smashed).

Have any of you guys had shit like this happen to you?

In case you're wondering nobody went the way of Lüt and died, in fact everyone walked out fine. (not that you'd be able to tell by looking at the cars)
8 Comments

How to stop having a boring life! February 19, 2014, 7:40 pm
You know what I love? Writing nearly 40 pages worth of dialogue only to have GZDoomBuilder crash. You know what I love even more? Realizing that the last time I saved was on page 7. I know all of you want to experience the same amount of ecstatic pleasure that I am currently experiencing, and I can tell you how right now!

DON'T SAVE!

Never! Don't do it! If you save anything, your life will be boring! Don't you want the excitement of being able to do it all over again? Of course you do! But why stop there? You can find new and exciting ways to deliberately crash the editor so you can have all the fun and excitement of doing whatever you were just doing again! You can set up glasses of water precariously all over your workspace and "accidentally" knock one of them over! Or two! Or three! Hell, why not just knock them all over? They make an extremely satisfying sound when they shatter and will most certainly fuck up whatever you were working on, causing you to not only get to redo all your hard work, but buy a new computer! Doesn't that sound like fun? Of course it does!

Stop having a boring life, follow my instructions now! No, I'm not bitter about anything, why would you ask?
19 Comments

My collection of Pearl Jam B-sides and Rarities February 7, 2014, 8:03 pm
Here's a list I made of all the B-sides and rarities that I happen to have in my personal collection at this time. These are strictly Pearl Jam, not Bad Radio, Temple Of The Dog, Birdman Sessions, etc.:
-Act Of Love (live)
-Against The '70s (live)
-Agyptian Crave (Gossman demo)
-All Night (Lost Dogs version)
-Alone (Go Single)
-Alone (Lost Dogs version)
-Alone (Rough Mix)
-Angel (Xmas Single)
-Anything In Between (Unreleased)
-Be A Star, Boy (live)
-Beast Of Burden (Live Improv)
-Beast Of Burden/Rats (Live)
-Bee Girl (Lost Dogs version)
-Bee Girl (Live on Rockline)
-Better Days (from Vitalogy expanded edition)
-Better Man (Alternate Take)
-Black, Red, Yellow (Live)
-Black, Red, Yellow (Lost Dogs version)
-Blues Jam (Mookie Blaylock demo)
-Brass In Pocket (Jam)
-Breath And A Scream (from Ten Redux)
-Brother (Instrumental, Lost Dogs version)
-Brother (from Ten Redux)
-Brother (Rough Mix w/ Different Lyrics)
-Catholic Boy (from Catholic Boy soundtrack)
-Chinese (Demo)
-Chinese Firedrill (Live with Mike Watt)
-Cold Confession (Demo)
-Corduroy (Alternate Take)
-Crazy Mary (from Vs. expanded edition)
-Cready Stomp (from Vs. expanded edition)
-Daddy Could Swear, I Declare (Mookie Blaylock demo)
-Dead Man (from Lost Dogs)
-Devil Doll (Demo)
-Dirty Frank (Alive Single)
-Dirty Frank (Lost Dogs version)
-Dollar Short (Gossman Demo)
-Don't Gimme No Lip (Lost Dogs version)
-Don't Gimme No Lip (Rough Mix)
-Doobie E (Gossman Demo)
-Down (from Lost Dogs)
-Drifting (from Lost Dogs)
-E Ballad (Gossman Demo)
-Education (Lost Dogs version)
-Education (Rough Mix)
-Evil E (Gossman Demo)
-Evil Little Goat (from Ten Redux)
-Evolution (Live Eddie Solo performance)
-Extemperaneous Wanderings (Live Improv)
-Falling Down (Unreleased)
-Fatal (Lost Dogs version)
-Fatal (Rough Mix)
-Folk D (Gossman Demo)
-Footsteps (Jeremy Single)
-Footsteps (Lost Dogs version)
-Forever In Blue Jeans (Live)
-Fuckin' Up (Live)
-The Golden State (Demo)
-Good Woman (Live Eddie Solo performance)
-Gremmie Out Of Control (from Lost Dogs)
-Hard To Imagine (from Lost Dogs)
-Hitchhiker (Lost Dogs version)
-Hitchhiker (Rough Mix)
-Hold On (Lost Dogs version)
-Hold On (from Vs. expanded edition)
-Hold On (Rough Mix)
-Hunger Strike (Live Improv)
-I'm Still Here (Unreleased)
-I Got Id (from Merkin Ball)
-I Got You (Live)
-In The Moonlight (Lost Dogs version)
-In The Moonlight (Rough Mix)
-Instrumental 1 (Mookie Blaylock demo)
-Instrumental 2 (Mookie Blaylock demo)
-It Ain't Like That (Mookie Blaylock demo)
-Just A Girl (from Ten Redux)
-Just A Girl (Rough Mix)
-The Kids Are Alright (Live)
-The King (Gossman Demo)
-Last Kiss (Lost Dogs version)
-Last Kiss (Xmas Single)
-Leatherman (Single)
-Leavin' Here (Live)
-Leavin' Here (Lost Dogs version)
-Let It Ride (Demo)
-Let Me Sleep (Lost Dogs version)
-Let Me Sleep (Xmas Single)
-Letter To The Dead (Rough Mix, early version of Sad)
-Little Wing/Maggot Brain (Live)
-Long Road (from Merkin Ball)
-Long Road (Live Improv)
-Love You, Want You, Hate You (Live Improv)
-Lukin II (Live)
-Man Of The Hour (Single)
-Master/Slave (Long Version, Mookie Blaylock demo)
-My Generation (Live Improv)
-"New" Jeremy (Live from Red Rocks)
-No Jeremy (Xmas Single)
-Nonsense (Live)
-Of The Earth (Live)
-Olé (Live)
-Olympic Platinum (Xmas Single)
-Other Side (from Lost Dogs)
-Out Of My Mind (Not For You single)
-Patriots (Live)
-Price Of Pain (Live)
-Puzzle and Game (Unreleased)
-Reach Down (Live, Xmas Single)
-Redemption Song (Live)
-Richards' E (Gossman Demo)
-Rockin' In The Free World (Live)
-Sad (from Lost Dogs)
-Santa Cruz (Xmas Single)
-Santa God (Xmas Single)
-Ship Song (Live)
-Sleepless Night (Live, Xmas Single)
-Small Mosquito (Demo)
-Smile (Live, Xmas Single)
-Soldier Of Love (Live, Xmas Single)
-Sonic Reducer (Xmas Single)
-Sonic Reducer (Live, Xmas Single)
-State Of Love And Trust (Mookie Blaylock demo)
-State Of Love And Trust (from Ten Redux)
-Strangest Tribe (Xmas Single)
-Strangest Tribe (Lost Dogs version)
-Sunburn (Unreleased, Stone on Vocals)
-Swallow My Pride (Live, Xmas Single)
-Sweet Lew (Lost Dogs version)
-Sweet Lew (Rough Mix)
-Three Little Birds (Live Improv)
-Times Of Trouble (Gossman Demo)
-Touch Me I'm Dick (Mookie Blaylock demo)
-Touch Me I'm Sick (Mookie Blaylock demo)
-Turning Mist (Xmas Single)
-U (from Lost Dogs)
-Undone (from Lost Dogs)
-Wash (Alive single)
-Wash (Lost Dogs version)
-Weird A (Gossman Demo)
-Whale Song (from Lost Dogs)
-Wishing Well (Mookie Blaylock demo)
-Wishing Well (Live)
-Yellow Ledbetter (Jeremy single)
-Yellow Ledbetter (Lost Dogs version)
-Zoom (Drunk Eddie and Jeff calling radio show)
-2000 Mile Blues (from Ten Redux)
-4/20/02 (from Lost Dogs)
-7 Up (Gossman Demo)

This is not at all excessive.
14 Comments

Next