|Well, I'm gonna be turning 26 this Tuesday.||November 11, 2012, 11:15 am|
I can't believe I'll be turning 26 this Tuesday. It's a weird feeling. Kind of a bittersweet feeling to be honest. Sure, I've graduated from college for months now, but with a useless BA degree in graphic design. I'm working part-time at a commercial radio station in promotions where the hours have been dwindling for me since September and some crappy personal shit happened earlier in the year. Fortunately, there are a few good things that happened to me this year:
I've started actively going for my passion, which is voice-over work. I know it's kind of silly, but what the hell do I have to lose? I'm done with school and this is something I've wanted to do for a long time. I'm looking for another job at the moment to supplement the crappy hours I'm getting at my current job. I dropped my old friends back in June and I've been much happier hanging out with the friends I've made at the college radio station I used to have a show at. I still help out over there with production stuff and that's been keeping me happy. I've even started putting myself out there and went out with a few ladies and that's something I've never really saw myself being successful at five years ago!
So overall, this year, while it has been bittersweet during the first 6 months give or take a few good moments sprinkled in them, have not been too bad. All I can really say is that I've been much happier now than I have been during the last 2 years.
|I can't believe I held off on using Doom Builder 2 for so long||May 3, 2010, 3:02 pm|
|It's a great program. It's much easier to use than Wad Author. I guess the reason why I held off on using it for so long was because I had some pretty bad experiences with Doom Builder 1. It would either freeze on my when I tried to load up an old map I made in Wad Author or it would just crash when I tried going into that 3D viewer mode.|
|Boy, I sure love looking at my past posts... (plus some other stuff)||November 2, 2008, 10:12 pm|
Short Version: It's a long rant on looking back at past stuff and also stuff dealing with my life these days.
Long Version:Instead of working on my small animation project and any other school stuff, I was wasting my time here and looking at all the past crap I posted. I found this gem just now and I am utterly embarrassed for the retarded crap I posted. I am slightly amused at how insane most of my early posts are. I also remember an early post I made and I asked who Joseph Stalin and Mao Ze Dong (spelling is probably not right, but who cares) are. Now that's pretty embarrassing.
I sure miss some of the old members like Sephiroth, koolkat, and Dunbar. I know I missed a couple other members, but these guys I remember most. I didn't talk to Sephiroth a whole lot aside from posting through here, but I do remember emailing and IMing the likes of Koolkat and Dunbar. Looking back at these old posts and remembering the names of a few of the members who used to post here and then seeing the new posts now and not seeing their familiar names is kinda saddening. I can't really remember the last time I even saw them post something here. Geez, I miss some of these old members.
Aside from the last two days of October, overall it's been a pretty fucking crappy month for me. I've fallen a bit behind on school and some other personal stuff has been fucking me over, namely this girl I like and kinda sorta fucking things up with her, then fixing things up a bit, and then fucking things up again. It's all a friggin' roller coaster ride, but I don't really feel like going into huge details. It's been putting me into a slight depression. I don't know what the fuck to think. I'm trying to keep up with everything, but it just feels like every time I try to improve myself, something holds me back and I keep falling behind. It feels like life's going at warp speed and I'm just drifting along. I'm sure that feeling will go away once I start forcing myself to trudge along through this semester. Then again, there's probably a good chance that this feeling won't go away, so meh...
I'm trying to improve myself socially, taking baby steps, improving myself by taking better care of myself. Back in high school, I wouldn't even try to talk to anyone. I'd just sit somewhere and draw some stupid doodles by myself. These days, I actually try to talk to people in my class. You know, start up small conversations with random people in my class and whatnot. Hell, I've even mustered the courage to talk to this girl that I like. Now that's something I would never had done in High School. Back in those days, I'd run away as far away as possible from her! I have little chats with her every time I see her at work. I know that's not really much, but to me, that's something. That's a real step up from saying "Uuuuh, hi..." And then running away like a pussy. I still get a little nervous talking to her, but at least it's not as ridiculously bad as I was in High School.
I don't really know why I'm typing all this stuff. Maybe it's from the nostalgia of my old posts, looking back at how ignorant and immature I was back then and then looking at what I've become today. I know I'm not exactly the most well-known member here or one of the veterans of this forum, but I've been around since December 2001 and to me, that feels like a really, really long time ago.
Anyways, so that's about it. Hi guys. :)
|How odd||July 31, 2008, 10:33 pm|
Since May, Doomworld was always loading really slow for me. I don't know why. It would take about 3-5 minutes just to load the forums and the other pages on the site. The /idgames database and the /newstuff review center page, however, loads fast. Anyways, just right now, it seems like the main site and the forums load pretty fast all of a sudden.
Did anyone else notice this or is it just me?
|My dog passed away :(||July 15, 2007, 10:04 am|
I woke up this morning to find out my parents had my dog Peter was put to sleep. He was 15 years old. He was a mix of a Golden Retriever and an American Eskimo dog, in case anyone was wondering what kind of dog he was.
Goddamn, I wish they could have given me a heads up on that. Yeah, it was obvious that it was going to happen eventually and everyone pretty much knew he wasn't going to have much time to live, but still. I wish my parents said when they were going to put him down. Fuck, this sucks. The last thing I said to my dog was "Hey Peter, you ok?" How fucking stupid is that? Goddamn, I wish I could have just said something more meaningful and at least given my dog one last hug. This fucking sucks. If there's one thing that surprises me abotu that dog is that he didn't go so sooner. I mean, 15 years is pretty damn old for a dog, right?
I'm going to miss Peter.
|I could have gone an entire lifetime without seeing goatse||June 4, 2007, 9:19 pm|
|...but some sick fucks are posting that and some other extremely nasty ass shit over at the ZDoom forums. What the fuck is going on over there?!|
|So I graduated from my community college yesterday||May 27, 2007, 12:56 am|
I got my AA in Liberal Arts/University Studies. I was originally going for a degree in Digital Media, but the scheduling was fucked up and I wasn't able to take one of the courses that I needed for it. For some reason, I had my photoshop class at the same time as my English 1C class. I needed both classes for the Digital Media degree, but my councelor said that if I were to take the English 1C class, it would fulfill the requirements for the AA in Liberal Arts/University Studies, so I had to change my major. Oh well. The whole graduation ceremony was pretty boring. There was two good speeches. I dozed off to sleep for a few minutes during the ceremony and I woke up because for some reason everyone was standing up and waving their arms around. I still haven't a clue what happened at that moment. I was pretty much awake throughout the rest of the ceremony.
Anyways, hopefully I transfer to San Jose State in the Spring of '08.
|Ok, seriously, that doesn't make sense.||January 12, 2007, 7:25 pm|
I've been called a furry or say that I associate with them like once or twice before.
That doesn't really make sense to me. I don't go around saying I'm actually a lizard or have a tail or some crazy shit. I don't go around saying that I'm not human. Lizardcommando's just a cartoon character I made up and I happen to admire him, at least I did in High School. He's still my favorite hero out of anything else I can think of.
Can someone tell me why someone would make that assumption?
|I've made improvements, right?||January 9, 2007, 8:50 pm|
After watching a horribly boring Flash movie made by a supposedly 'famous' flash artist on Newgrounds, I begin thinking to myself "Have I made improvements on my own Flash stuff? I mean, I know drawing people isn't my strongest points, but I do believe I have made improvements on my own stuff. You guys think so, right? I ask you guys because you were one of my first audience members viewing my movies, so I want some opinions.
Here's one of my first movies
Here's one of my movies featuring Lizardcommando
Here's an unfinished crappy movie featuring two completely different video game characters.
Just a short animation I made a few days ago.
Can you honestly say that I've improved? I try hard to do things no else has thought up or make some crazy movie that I think would be unique. I try hard to animate the characters as best as I can. I acknowledge my mistakes. Honestly, I was overly ambitious with the third movie I linked, but I only had two weeks left of the semester to work on it. Looking back at it, it was kinda stupid and it won't really make sense until I make a prologue of that.
I dunno... I think I'm just feeling kind of depressed or paranoid about my own abilities right now... I can't really think of the right words or sentences right now...
|Fun Facts about "Berzerker"||July 24, 2006, 11:46 pm|
I actually meant to do this right after I released that movie (Back in May, if I remember correctly), but I kinda forgot... Also, these "Fun facts" were originally supposed to be featured in the movie itself, but I forgot how to add in menu buttons. (Not a Play Button, but a button that would let you go to the next scene without playing it.) Anyways here's some fun facts:
Did you know:
...This movie was supposed to follow almost every details (some parts are changed) of a dream I had? (Meaning this movie would have been 3 times as long and featured different events like LC stopping Columbine from happenening.)
...This movie was supposed to have an introduction before the first attempted hijacking? (This would have been a scene where Lizardcommando picks up the Beserksphere and essencially goes berserk and travels back in time)
...The Berzerksphere is a reference to my Doom mod?
...The "Slide-Show" shown during the Credits were originally intended to be fully animated? (It was to emulate the Credits from Megaman X7 since that had animated scenes, albeit being gameplay videos, shown through that Credits sequence)
...There were other considerations for who the main hero was going to be for this movie?
...Zero from the Megaman X/Zero series was originally intended to be the main hero of this movie?
...The ending to this movie was to have Lizardcommando stand on top of a huge pile of corpses surrounded by piles upon piles of rotting flesh and bones of his enemies, laughing like a crazy psycho?
...The date that is listed on the piece of paper is my birth date.
...The last line in the movie "Thought I was going to leave you at a cliff hanger, didn't ya?" is a reference poking fun at the fact that most Flash movies (namely ones from Newgrounds) are always trailers or not entire movies, but episodic movies?
I might as well explain some of these fun facts...
As I had mentioned in my thread about my dream, Columbine is happenening at the moment and the two gunmen are in the library. Just before they start killing people, Lizardcommando jumps through the ventilation shaft and shoots the first gunman with an Assault Rifle, emptying the entire clip on him, then he pulls out a Handcannon and blasts away at the other gunman, taking out both his legs and now he's crawling on two bloody stumps, then LC says "Here's a taste of you're own medicince" and he takes the gunman's Semi-Auto rifle and shoves it down his throat and pulls the trigger. He then evacuates the hostages and teleports to the next scene.
That wasn't exactly what happenened in my dream, I thought that by adding that part, it would add on to the overall carnage of the video. Plus, that one-liner would have added to the intended cheesiness factor.
The movie that was originally intended for the Credits was supposed to be black-and-white and fully animated, but due to time constraints, I had to use those pics which were from a failed comic adaptation of my dream.
I had dialogue too which were intended for that movie, but since was not going to have sounds in it (and since it wasn't even going to be animated) it was scrapped.
It was supposed to mean that LC became out of control and started killing random people, innocent people included. He eventually kills everyone on Earth. Everything is stained in blood. The ground... water... the sky... everything.
I wanted to pan the camera around the piles of corpses, fade into a close up shot of LC's laughter and then fade out to a bloodstained Earth. That would have been the original ending, but due to time constraints and losing the original idea (meaning, since this wasn't going to be a music video) that whole sequence was scrapped. It probably wouldn't have made sense anyways.
This was long overdue. That's all I can really explain for these things. I'd love to write more, but I can't really remember most of the other interesting facts I wanted to write.