Patrick's Doomworld Forums Blog

Patrick's Doomworld Forums Blog

This isn't a goodbye thread September 4, 2010, 10:34 am
This is a massive thank you to everyone involved in the Doom community. Recently I've not been involved with the community due to some rather stressful health issues and it's taken away a ot of my capability to work on Doom related projects.

I'd like to thank everyone for their continued support and willingness to entertain the thousands of questions I have asked. I would especially like to thank Graf Zahl and Gez for maintaining and providing support and GZDoom, I loved the port and hope one day to keep modding for it. I'd like to thank Scuba Steve for helping with my artistic endeavors and allowing me to help with the Cacoward ceremonies. I'd like to thank Zap10, 40oz, Tormentor667, Chopinska, Espi and everyone else who has made mods that have captured my time and attention.

I need to take some time to get back into good health, and I hope this is something I'll overcome.

Thanks Doom community! I will return...

I'm in Texas June 7, 2010, 2:39 am
In case you wanted to know. Jesus it's hot here. Anyone know a good way to kill 6 hours in Dallas at 4:00AM?

more cheatin' April 5, 2010, 11:49 am
Dear Girlfriend,

We're adults. It's the 21st century. People who aren't having sex after their third date, let alone after 3 months, can't even be considered a relationship. You're not even religious either. I could understand if that were the case. I did tell the other girl I was committed to you beforehand, it was just sex after all. You brought this on yourself. Stop being a bitch about it already.


Living in a Fat world April 1, 2010, 5:39 pm
Apparently I live in the skinniest town in the USA

I feel odd because I never really noticed how skinny I was (or everyone around me for that matter) until I took a visit to South Carolina. Apparently us little guys are a minority in those parts. I was even further terrified to see that there are petitions in these places to make it law to have wider aisles in shopping centers to accommodate 'plus sized' individuals. Are you fat? Skinny? Healthy? Discuss.

Snow Day March 24, 2010, 9:52 am
Classes and work are canceled until further notice.

Colorado: 70F yesterday, 20F Today. Wat?

About a girl February 19, 2010, 10:23 pm
This isn't a 'looking for advice' blog or a 'feel sorry for me' blog. This is a 'ugh I'm frustrated and I need to vent to random internet strangers my problems' blog.

A while ago there was a girl I'd met who was very odd. She didn't quite work the same way other people did. her thoughts were ... jumbled ... but not impaired at all. But she could keep her priorities straight and she was very intelligent, despite being very difficult to interact with. She liked me, but I had no interest in her, I was mainly scared away by her crazy randomness and odd personality. I dated her for about a week, but I ended it quickly and afterwards I wouldn't even give her the time of day for a year. Now I've spent more time to understand who she is and what kind of person she is, and I've come to find her very attractive and I'm very much in love. I've learned to not be afraid of her eccentricity and admire it because she's so damn different. problem being that a friend of mine insists she's with someone else and is now just toying with my head.

what's even worse is that she now knows how I feel about her and remains entirely ambiguous as to her feelings about it. I can't tell if she's just trying to avoid hurting my feelings, or if it merely has to do with her airheadedness. This is driving me nuts.

it's entirely my fault for not realizing what i had and not taking the time to understand her. i brought this upon myself, but it certainly isn't helping me get over the major depression I've had since I quit smoking. If anything this has furthered my self-loathing to a new level. I might just have to join TimeOfDeath in his self-imposed isolation :P

The depression is pretty terrible right now, and I think that simply venting helps to alleviate some of this. Then again, what's the worst that could happen? I'm emotionally destroyed? I can live with that.

EDIT: on the bright side, its times when I'm bent up about women that I get the most work on my mods done. I should focus this frustration on ironing out more bugs.

Stoners February 11, 2010, 6:34 pm
WOOOOHOOOOO, I QUIT SMOKING TOBACCO!!!! Unfortunately, while my tobacco consumption has gone away, my cannabis use has gone up a lot. I don't see this as much of a problem, but I still smoke it. I dont want to breathe another liter of smoke into my lungs in my entire life, but I also don't want to give up Cannabis because I love it so damn much. That being said, I'm looking for some easy to make recipies that people have found to work for consuming cannabis. I'm going to miss smoking it, but eating it certainly seems healthier. I've found a number of recipies online, but I've yet to find one that works, and works well. Has anyone got any that have been known to work? I haven't had any luck so far. Maybe there's some step I'm missing?

A psychedellic experience... January 9, 2010, 4:26 pm
Since my computer was recently compromised, I lost all of my mods and my 10 Billion WIP projects. Suffice to say, there's a hole in my life where my favorite hobby used to be, and I'm quite upset because years worth of work and discovery are gone down the drain, and I won't ever be able to get back to where I was.

But. I'm not going to drop doom modding since this is one of my few favorite things to do. I would like to finally make my Magnum Opus of Doom modding before I move onto other things. I have a very good knowledge of ZDoom and would like to put out a project for ZDoom.

With that said, a few weeks ago I had a very beautiful and mind opening psychedellic experience that really changed how I look at my life, among other things. And I found that it was also an incredible source of inspiration for Doom mods.

So here's the idea I had, narrarated from the perspective of the player.

"I have often wondered if this prison is even real. The gaurds look on, speaking to me in tongues. The writing on the wall only tells me how long I've been here, but even then, I do not know if they are days, years or eternities. No sentence, no parole, no visitors, no light. The only voices which speaks clearly to me are those of the cold steel bars, and they tell me I will never see the her again. My mind wanders and I don't know where it will go.

I only want to see her light. I only want know what it feels to bask in her glowing rays and know that I am real."

I like the idea of creating a mod where the gameplay is a trip (if you will) through the prisoners mind. The only goal of the game is to find sunlight. I don't have much other than that. I'd like to create some surreal levels that represent various aspects of the protagonists psyche.

This is a concept i'd like to play with:

Questions, Comments, Suggestions?

I got into college December 26, 2009, 9:06 pm
So yeah, the title says it all. I got accepted to CU Boulder. I'm so ecstatic right now that this is all I'm going to post.