|A series of dreams is really messing with me||August 7, 2013, 6:59 pm|
So, I've been having a series of related dreams, and it's really got me thinking. Basically, it started with a dream about me meeting this girl and talking, and we decided to go out to eat. After dinner, she said she'd like to hang out again sometime, but wouldn't tell me when. This was followed by another couple of dreams that at first, weren't about her, but then she'd appear. At first, I wouldn't recognize her, or I'd forget her name, or whatever, but it never seemed to bother her, she'd just remind me and then I'd remember the first dream. Anyway, she'd show up and we'd just chat for a while, but the weird thing was, it didn't seem like dream chat. Like, she remembered old topics we talked about, and she'd have things to add to new topics I brought up. Most people in my dreams act scripted, like, they can't follow the conversation if you say something unexpected. There was just something off about the whole thing.
Anyway, last night, I had another dream that started off having nothing to do with her - I just got home when I found that someone had left a letter inviting me to join a hate group in my apartment. I wasn't sure what to do with the letter, especially since they had actually broken in to leave it inside (just basically managed to take advantage of a window with a broken latch), when suddenly she came into my bedroom. Once again, I had no clue who she was at first, but then she mentioned the restaurant we had eaten at, and suddenly those earlier dreams came flooding back to me (though in the dream, of course, I saw them as memories, not dreams).
She said she just stopped by to say hi, and that she'd be back later, and then she left. I woke up and all I could do was think about that dream. I've been thinking about it all day. I started thinking, what with her quirks, the way she acts more like a real person than most people in my dreams, how she keeps showing up, etc., what if she is a real person who did somehow come into my dream? lol I know it sounds silly, and I don't believe it, but it was an interesting thought. I mean, obviously there's nothing here that can't be explained by regular dreaming. It was just, there are certain patterns we come to expect from dreaming (dreams don't generally have sequels, people in dreams generally tend to act a bit off, etc.), but there's no rule that says dreams HAVE to follow those patterns, and when the patterns are broken, we get thrown off.
|Most terrifying nap ever||September 4, 2012, 5:39 pm|
So I just woke up from a short nap, and had the most terrifying experience of my life. Well, I'd probably qualify that, I've probably had more terrifying experiences, but it definitely shook me to the core. Basically, after sleeping for oh, 30 minutes or so, I suddenly jolted up and had absolutely no memories of who I was, where I was, or how I got there. I basically had total amnesia. It only took me about a minute or so to piece things together and get my memory back, but for that minute, I felt more lost than I've ever been in my entire life. In the end, I was safely in my bed in my apartment, but geez, that time spent staring at my room and everything in it, with no memory of any of it, no memory of even my name or where I came from, it was just terrifying. My mind was racing and I was in a total panic trying to figure out what was going on. Even when some vague memories came back, it still didn't help much - I remembered my family, which led me to think I must be in my sister's house. She doesn't have a house, but remembering my sister made me think I was there. It also led me to thinking I was in Texas, not Minnesota, because my family lives in Texas.
Ugh, I'm glad it's over, but man was that just about the freakiest thing that's ever happened to me.
|Social Media and TMI||June 22, 2012, 1:19 am|
So, I've recently gotten involved with Twitter... Not posting, mind you, I primarily just use it for keeping up to date with a few Internet celebrities I follow... well, IRL celebrities too, but this is mainly about Internet celebrities. I got into Twitter because it kept me updated on people I followed who'd posted new videos, and it was fun to see their random thoughts, as well.
Recently, however, a person I followed on Twitter basically had a complete meltdown. I sympathize with him, and I understand what led up to it, but at the same time, all I can think is, "If I had just not followed him on Twitter, I'd be blissfully unaware of all of this." And really, I don't care about his personal problems, or at least I don't need to know about them. I love his movie and video game reviews, but I don't want to get involved with his personal life.
It's not that I don't have sympathy - he's had hard times, and he suffers from clinical depression. I get that. It's just, all I can think is, if it weren't for Twitter, I wouldn't be emotionally caught up in his problems, and while that sounds horrible, I think that's appropriate when dealing with even minor celebrities. I just keep thinking that in some way, the Internet is ruining that concept.
|"Stop playing those damn games and get a life"||July 6, 2010, 2:39 pm|
So it's summer, and since I work in a school, I have a lot more free time now. Only problem has been trying to determine how to spend that free time. To put this in context, for a while now, I've been kind of angsty about video games - I dunno, just always felt there was something better I could be doing with my free time, and so I hadn't been able to enjoy them as much. Like seriously, the moment I picked up a game, I had this sinking feeling that I should be doing something else, and so I pretty much gave up on games. After a couple of weeks to adjusting to the increase in free time, though, I slowly found myself getting back into the gaming habit. In fact, in the past couple of weeks, I've beaten three games (Mirror's Edge, CoD 2, and finally got around to finishing the first season of Sam and Max), and I'm hoping to conquer more (tired of having a collection of half-finished games lying around).
However, there's still the little niggling question in the back of my head of whether or not I should be using my time better. To be clear, I'm not, say, forsaking my friends for video games, and I am regularly getting out of the apartment, so it's not like I'm a shut-in. I just feel that maybe I should have a more productive hobby, not that I entirely know what that means. Like, I guess, for instance, I have a friend who wrote a book in his free time, and is currently trying to get it published. Then again, it's not like I have anything to write about. Not that the hobby has to be writing a book, but I dunno, something where I'd have something to show for it, like back when I used to write games in Qbasic or map for Doom. Or maybe make videos for youtube or something. But then, I don't feel an ounce of creativity or inspiration on any of those areas.
So anyway, the question's just been pestering me. Am I missing something, or should I just stop overanalyzing it and just have fun.
|Parents in public||June 3, 2010, 5:29 pm|
So I was taking the bus home from work today, and there was this woman in the back with her toddler. I think he was fidgeting in his seat or something, because she kept telling him to sit still. Point is, he was clearly doing something that was only a bother to the woman herself. Finally, she got tired of constantly telling him, so she spanked him. Great, so now we go from a fidgety kid who was only bothering his mother to a crying kid who's disturbing the whole bus. I'm thinking, "Great, lady, did you really have to do that? Seriously." And this kid was really bawling, too. It wasn't any of this "softly sobbing" business, it was full-on top-of-his-lungs waterworks. Just when I think the situation can't get any worse, she proceeds to start screaming at this kid at the top of her lungs to shut up. Way to go, lady, you're officially now more grating than the little kid you're trying to silence.
Luckily, my stop came up shortly, so I was able to quickly escape the madness. Point is, though, I can't stand parents who do that. Believe me, I know full-well how obnoxious kids can be in public when their parents don't do anything to reign them in, but the only thing I hate more than that are parents who escalate the situation. At least when a kid is being obnoxious, it's just a kid being a kid. My personal feelings toward the situation, though, are that parents are adults, and should therefore know better. I know raising a kid can be stressful, and everyone has their breaking point - yeah, it's inevitable that at some point, any parent's going to just get to the point where they're so fed up that they snap at the child. I dunno, though, there's just something that really bothers me about situations in which the parents are more obnoxious and disruptive than the kids they're trying to control.
|Epic douche||March 26, 2010, 4:54 pm|
Okay, so while walking over to the store to pick up some things, I passed this drugstore parking lot. It was mostly empty, but I noticed one car in the back double-parked, as if someone else pulling into the parking lot would ignore every other space and park right at the back right next to him. That was douchy enough in itself.
However, it got better. I ran into this guy at the stoplight on my way back home. He was going in the same direction I was, but he turned into the drugstore parking lot. I sometimes cut across the parking lot on the way home, so I thought nothing of it. I just happened to glance over, though, and saw him getting into that car. Turns out, not only did he double-park at the back of a nearly-empty parking lot, but he wasn't even at the drugstore, he was at the shopping center across the street. Just totally floored me.
|Education in America confuses me||February 6, 2010, 10:40 am|
Am I missing something here? It seems like people are always bitching about the education system in America, but I'm baffled by the things people complain about. It seems people are quick to blame the teachers, the schools, the lack of standards, etc., but there's one group that I never hear blamed - the students themselves. I just don't get it - when I was growing up, it was made abundantly clear to me that if I did poorly on a test, it's my own fault, and that I can't blame the teacher if I didn't study or pay attention in class. But these days, all I ever hear about is holding teachers accountable and whatnot, and I just don't get it.
This has especially bothered me since I started working as a teaching assistant in a local high school. I mean, aside from special-needs students, I can always identify the students who will do the worst. They're not hard to spot - they're the ones who always have their cell phones out and texting, they're the ones who never do their work, they're the ones who are always listening to MP3 players during lectures, etc. And that just makes the whole thing seem so absurd to me - we want to go after teachers for poor choices students make? I mean yeah, a good teacher can help encourage students to make the right decision, but you can't force anyone to learn. Believe me, I've tried - but there just really isn't a damn thing you can do about a kid who decides, "You know what? I'm just gonna sit here, do nothing, and fail the class."
|Almost there (my Doom level)||September 8, 2005, 1:16 pm|
|Well, I got over my mapper's block, did a bit more mapping, and am very near completing the level I've been working on. Damn, so close yet so far. All I've got left is the monster placement near the end, but I'm starting to get sick of playing through the whole damn thing over and over again (in order to make sure health/ammo is reasonably balanced). And then I've got to readjust everything for different skill levels! ARGH! Oh well, just gotta keep on truckin', I suppose.|
|*bashes head repeatedly against desk* Mapper's Block...||August 15, 2005, 9:36 am|
Ugh, I have this really great map that I'm working on, and I really want it to be done by the end of summer, 'cause I might not have time to work on it this year. Unfortunately, I can feel Mapper's Block seeping in, and it's driving me nuts! I feel I'm very close to finishing it, but it's that last little bit, you know. ARGH! *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG*
Just venting, 'cause it's really pissing me off. Thank you for your time.
|War, what is it good for?||March 21, 2005, 11:29 am|
So I've been thinking about the subject of war, and I just can't help but think about something. Recently, there's been an interesting trend. Consider the Star Wars Prequels... An enormous war breaks out throughout the galaxy. Many people valiantly die for the cause, and yet in the end, it turns out that the entire thing was simply a distraction created by Palpatine so that he could take over the galaxy. It really didn't matter how the war came out... The result would have bene the same.
Then I realized that Lord of the Rings is another similar situation. Massive war breaks out in Middle Earth, but the point of the war was not what it seemed. Once again, the victor wasn't important; the point of the war was to provide a distraction so that Frodo could destroy the Ring.
Of course, there are plently of political implications for Bush's current war in Iraq. Is all war like this? Do the powers-that-be simply pull the wool over our eyes, convince us that we're fighting for a cause worth killing or dying for, and simply reap the benefits of their political maneuvers? Of course the more I think about it, the more wars I realize were politically motivated, but is it possible that all wars are? I mean, I have a hard time believing that this is why we fought World War II, for example, but it does raise questions. And it really is a horrifying thought, the fact that some people are willing to send entire armies off to fight and die.
Geez... It's not that I didn't know that many wars were not worth the lives lost, but the thought that the concept of war itself is not just... Well, of course, I've never condoned war, but I always assumed that there were righteous causes out there (survival, etc.) worth fighting for, but now I just can't imagine that to be the case. Wow, I'm really having a "Duh" moment here. Then again, think about how many millions, if not billions, of people there are in the world who don't realize that war is not right.