|D34D M4u53||December 3, 2013, 9:51 am|
|There is a dead mouse in the wall of my girlfriend's condo. Management won't do anything, we can't do anything considering it would involve putting holes in a wall. So it stinks. Its being eaten by bacteria and turning to bones.|
|Adventures Driving a Retired Cop Car #3: The Dog||November 22, 2013, 9:38 am|
Last night driving in the rain to my gf's house, I was stopped at a 4 way stop light. Something was behind my car. I wasn't sure if it was a dog or some sort of car jacker keeping low so I don't see him. Then it moved to the passenger side of my car, then adorably a dog flopped its big head onto my hood and looked at me. A loveable multi colored, dark mutt with a bulldogish face and a long snout and a sky blue collar.
I questioned hmmm do I let this dog in and drive it somewhere that I don't know where to take it? The dog wandered away, but I kept my arm out of the door to point at the dog so people in rush hour knew that yep there's a dark dog at night on the road in the rain.
I was right next to a trailer park and I assume, mutt, bigger dog, probably came from the trailer park. Then the dog was hit, I heard the bang and the dog yelp, but the dog was healthy enough to run away through a wooden fence into some warehouse / junkyard area.
So then I pulled off and called the cops. Talked to the cops, some old lady starts walking to my car. I get out with the cops on the phone. The old lady hit the dog. Oye. So the cops ask me questions with her on the phone and the cops send someone out.
Well after the call I notice oh I locked myself out in the rain. Nice. I keep talking with this elderly woman in the rain, then some other guy pulls over, I ask if he is looking for a dog. He says that he just hit the dog. So 2 vehicles hit this dog. I have a feeling that the guy that stopped hit the dog worse than the old woman. Like he hit it first and then the old woman brushed into the dog as the dog ran to the fence.
The 2 others in the story explain why they can't stay. The guy has a basketball game he needs to coach and well the old lady just doesn't want to stick around. Shit to do. Luckily the rain let up for me.
As the old woman was waddling to her car, she stepped in some muddy hole and fell straight into the turn lane of the road. If there had been cars pulling up, she would have been hit if not dead. Wouldn't that be irony, hit by a car 5 minutes after hitting a dog with your car. The woman literally couldn't get up. I helped her up, and she explained she just had her knee replaced and she can't put any weight on it. Well pulling this old woman up to her feet, I assure you she wasn't helping at all :-) But its okay. Hilariously her license plate had 911 as a slew of numbers.
As I was waiting for the cop, I called someone with an extra key for me. She comes and drops off the key, but as I'm waiting I can hear the dog about every minute yelping from inside the junkyard. Well junkyard / gravel sales / warehouse or whatever. Key gets dropped off, hurray!
Then 30 minutes into it, I see the cop with its lights on, so I wave to the cop and the cop turns and drives down the other way. Maybe he got another call. Well some woman stops her SUV, gets out, walks to me from the other side of the road, I ask if she's looking for a dog. Nope, she stopped because I waved at her. She asked if I needed a phone or whatever. Nope, I was waving at a cop. After I explain stuff from across the road, she hops in and leaves. I could still hear the dog once every minute or so sending out its distress call.
That's when the cop shows up, he sits over with her for a while. Then he comes over to me. He came, because when I was on the phone with the cops I said that I locked myself out of the car. So he had come to slimjim my car. He said that if the dog was in bad shape he'd just shoot it. I told him that it had a collar, so it wasn't a stray.
I told the cop about the situation and we went looking for the dog along the fenceline of this place following the yelps. He then said that he's gonna go through the front door of the place and not risk getting shot jumping the fence. The dog did run through some easy to get through wooden fence, but the rest of the property where the dog ended up was chain link fenced and pretty secure without being dangerously secure with bared wire or anything.
He said to get in the car and follow him. So we drove to the front door of this place, which was shockingly far away. It was some dude's ghetto farm with a long driveway.
The cop had me wait and he and the owner of the property went, found the dog, but didn't retrieve the dog. He told me that he would call animal control to retrieve the dog. The officer also explained that if they didn't get the dog out, it would probably bleed out overnight and die.
So I've been worried overnight about this dog. The officer sent me on my way. Technically its not my job to wait, but I really should have. I've been worried over other things with the dog, such as the dog is injured, what happens if the actual owner lives in a trailer park and has no money for the repair bill.
Now that its morning, I called the sheriff's office and they told me to call the warden to find out what happened. Now I'm just waiting for the warden to return my call to see if the dog was retrieved, if its safe, if it was returned to the owner. Questions and concerns.
|Combatting Hair Loss with Vitamins||November 20, 2013, 11:36 pm|
Gentlemen, I am going bald. I am not bald, but I will be bald. My hair is skinny, not fat. My entire family has skinny hair. My family does not ever go grey, we just go bald. Sadly they say you get your hair from your mother's side of the family and my mother's mother was balding at 50.
There are a few reasons someone can be bald. Genetics of course, but also inflammatory disease (ex: gingivitis and multiple sclerosis) can cause baldness. Basically, baldness is a side effect. Sweat can clog hair follicles and so on.
So after doing some research, I'm going the vitamin route to fix things. What causes hair growth? What does the body need to make it? What am I not getting enough of? Like if you want to build a red barn out of legos. If you have a lot of red legos, you can make a big barn, but if you only have a few, then your barn won't be big.
I've spent about $50 on vitamin A, B6, C, E, Iron, Biotine, Zinc and Omega 3 (for the why the hell not factor).
At this point, it is only a proclamation that I am going to down these vitamins and see what happens in the next 30+ days. While this might not be some miracle cure for hair loss, it will probably result in better overall health. I'll let you all know how it goes, but is there any one among you crazy enough to try this experiment with me?
|Adventures Driving a Retired Cop Car||October 23, 2013, 12:24 pm|
Let me preface by saying that I drive a retired police car.
Last night I was driving around trying to find a costume shop in the dark (turns out it was closed since last year). I was on a 4 lane highway with 2 lanes going 2 lanes coming. I was at a stop light in the left lane, some woman pulled up next to me, got my attention and she yelled 'I think there's been some guy following me since I got off of work.' Then she realized, 'Oh are you a cop?' We laughed about it and I told her there's a police station a mile down the road on the right. She thanked me.
The light turned green, she sped ahead of me and got in my lane. Sure enough a car followed her and went into her lane. Then eventually she turned left instead of staying on the road to get to the police station. The car followed her.
Not sure what's going on there. Sadly I didn't follow. She didn't follow my instruction where there's a police station, so she must not have been too worried.
|Worried I'll get busted for check fraud||October 9, 2013, 11:21 am|
I deposited a bunch of checks today for the first time in probably 14 years. I've always done direct deposit. So when doing the check I had to endorse it and I did it right there with the teller watching. She looked at the check and looked at her monitor. She told me that my signatures didn't match.
She called her manager that came over and confirmed, the signatures didn't match. So then he warned me what could happen upon further inspection later. The check could get rejected and I could be charged with fraud.
I remember the last time I voted, I saw my voter's signature compared to my current signature and they had changed in so many years. I even told the voter employee I wouldn't let me pass with that big of a signature change. She said oh you're okay.
Now with this teller and her manager finally call me on it. I'm only depositing a check, not cashing it. They didn't ask for ID. They asked if I still wanted to deposit the check with that signature.
I'm worried that I'll get busted for fraud with my own signature. They asked me if I still wanted to deposit the check in the way that a store will let you shoplift from it, because its not shoplifting until you leave with stolen goods.
|Pulled over by the cops||September 17, 2013, 12:19 pm|
To preface this, I drive a retired cop car from a different town. As I was driving through one town over, there was a county cop driving toward me. Then he did a U turn. That's never good, but I'm never doing anything bad. Then the county cop followed me for a little while. After that, we passed by an actual cop from the town we were in.
That's when the county cop hit his lights and pulled me over. We went through the normal dance of insurance, registration, license. The cop from the town also pulled in.
Nothing went down, the county cop just asked my age, how long I've lived where I live and when did I get the retired cop car.
That's when he told me they're looking for a police imposter in town. He (they) let me go after 3 minutes of nothing.
I'm not sure if they thought I was being an imposter or if there is really an imposter around there. My cop car has no lights or insignia on there. It was 2 pm and bright out, so the cop could probably see I had on a common blue shirt. Plus the cop cars are totally different colors.
Eh oh well.
|Getting Sexually Harassed by a Guy at Work||September 15, 2013, 3:29 pm|
About a week ago my crew leader pinched my nipple. Just randomly. We were standing around and boom he pinched it. I just told him 'sexual harassment.' Then a week later, last Friday, after lunch he had a licorish in his mouth and he comes up to me and gets face to face with me trying to put the other half in my face. Later he found a sledge hammer, put it between his legs, came up to me and told me to touch his wood. I pretty much keep a stone face with all of this going on. I'm new, he's not. Later he calls for me to come help then as I'm going over to him, he just starts banging a table doggy style. Let's see... after that, he yelled for me again, I turned, there he is hanging from something having mock sex with a post.
When he starts telling other people about how hilarious it is how stone face I am no matter what, he does the V gesture with his fingers and puts his tongue between the V. People have a laugh. I just stone face him and tell him sexual harassment.
Eventually, something must've gotten him worried. He tells me he's not gay. Then later he tells me he had a shit day, so he's just having fun because I always stone face him.
That's my story. I know guys will be guys, but no one else there acts like that at least to me. I don't want this to degenerate where he's pinching my ass and saying 'Dude I'm not gay.'
I'll be quitting, because coincidentally as of yesterday, my previous job wants me back and they pay 3x more than this one does.
|The Conjuring and the noisy theater (spoilet free)||July 29, 2013, 9:52 am|
I saw the Conjuring with my girlfriend this weekend after my friends have told me how awesome it was.
This theater was packed with women. I've never seen so many women in a theater. Groups of women, women by the pairs. Only a few couples with a man there. It was surreal. It was like I was at a Twilight movie and not a horror movie.
Whether or not I liked the movie became irrelevant, because the only thing I'm left with after the movie is how bad the experience was. No one in the theater would shut up. This movie proved that scary things are funny to people. Anything scary happened... laughter. Anything scary was about to happen I'd hear 1 - 3 people say 'uh oh' all from different areas of the theater. These 'uh ohs' sounded sincere and not just pricks trying to ruin the movie or anything.
Despite having several ads in a row telling people TURN OFF YOUR PHONES! I heard several ring tones or vibrations from phones almost turned off. Holy shit. What an unruly theater. I've been to several movies at this theater and never had any of these problems, let alone this bad.
Oh and to top it off. I lost count of how many people dropped their keys during the movie. Not just a key ring with a few keys, It sounded as if some people had 80 keys that just plopped on the floor. People just jangling their keys. It made me think at some point people were trying to scare their friends by throwing keys down on the floor or they're too busy digging through their purse that a heap of keys just falls out.
|I changed the nostril that I breathe with||June 20, 2013, 11:41 pm|
Bare with me guys, this will cover some wild topics. My gf has told me I snore. What? First time I've heard that. Anyway, I pinpointed it. Whenever my left nostril is uh closed by a pillow, I snore.
Whenever I jog. I really have difficulty breathing through my nose. So today I just decided to uh push on the left part of my nose to completely close the left nostril. Wow I could barely breathe. Then I closed the right nostril with the left one open. I could breathe really well through the left one.
Then in my boredom, I researched breathing through one nostril. A lot of people do it, not sure if its true or not. I figured well I must breathe through my left nostril, since its the open one. Again, in my boredom I taped my good left nostril shut. Yeah stick with me here. I got really tired. I had trouble breathing and eventually I just fell asleep. Maybe that's a coincidence. Every so often I'd have to breathe through my mouth to compensate.
Now tonight, I put my finger under my nose and just exhaled. The air only came out the right. So even though its the weaker nostril I'm breathing through the right one? Weird.
Then I decided to tape closed the bad right one for 15 minutes. I didn't get tired, I didn't have trouble breathing and for the most part it felt like I was still exhaling on both sides and not just the right. Earlier, when I had taped closed the left side, it really didn't feel like I was exhaling out of the left.
But now I take off the tape and check. I'm now breathing through my left side only. Exhaling via the good left side. That's so weird that just suddenly my nose decides to breathe out the other nostril!
While I'm typing this, I decided to tape up the good left one again, that I've been breathing out of for the past hour. Just to see what happens. I really want to breathe through my mouth to compensate. After 10 more minutes I feel very tired after being very awake, but maybe that's just uh midnight happening. I find my breathes are deeper, like I need to suck in more O2 to compensate.
Time to take the tape off. Well this experiment failed. I can't change it back and forth like I thought that I'd be able to. I'm still now mostly breathing out of the left nostril. Well this was interesting.
|Picked the wrong day to do a longer than normal jog||June 15, 2013, 4:49 pm|
So to start with, I don't jog that often anymore and when I did jog. I'd always treadmill. Now I'm back to actual outdoor jogging in a forest preserver. I've been slowly scaling myself where I've plateaued at 4K. So today I decided to do 5K. That 5K turned into 6K, because I didn't realize how long a new leg of path went.
To start out with, here are the good things I saw within my normal distance of 4K. 1 rabbit, then 2 cranes, then another rabbit. Happiness. Only white clouds in the sky.
At around the 4K mark when I'd normally be done, that's when the rain started. White fluffy clouds pouring rain. No big deal. Then everything went dark and the storm hit. Then I start thinking where does one hide in the woods while carrying a cell phone, iPod and water bottle if there was lightning. Oh look lightning in the distance, but at least it was in the distance. The thunder would indicate the lightning was far away.
Luckily the rain only lasted 10 minutes then it all went back to happy white clouds like those you'd find in Super Mario Bros. On my way back I even saw 3 rabbits where there was once only 1.
Then it rained weirdos. A really husky fella out walking his 2 pit bulls. Its good that they're out for a walk, its healthy and uh... walking is healthy. So these 2 pitbull leashes take up the entire path because they want to poop on opposite sides of the path. Then one goes behind him, the other goes around him, before you know it the dude drops one of their leashes and suddenly the pitbull just runs at me. Sure this was a happy pitbull that just wants to lick your face and not bite your leg, but then the pitbull starts running back to the guy only the pitbull runs past the guy and keeps on running. This guy himself did not look like a runner. So I went and grabbed the leash for him. He didn't ask for the help but in the end he appreciated it and was very apologetic. My body just didn't feel like chasing after a fresh dog when I've already ran, but it worked out fine.
After another few minutes, that's when I ran into the next weirdo, in a clump of 4 girls. This wall of teens just took up the whole path and then the one closest to me mutters 'Is it okay if I just stop him and go' then she gave some weird expressionless face right as I was walking up to them about to pass by. She was looking straight at me and while it was probably just a coincidental moment that she was telling some stupid story the whole 'stop him' made me feel I was just about to be blocked by someone that was going to harass me. Since she's walking side by side with them how could they see her expression, again, made me feel like it was me. So I just flipped up a hand and said hi and kept right on walking. She exploded with laughter and said oh my god. I'm sure the wave and hi were so unexpected that they'll be LOLing about it for the rest of the weekend. Some mega sweaty dude just says hi when you're in the middle of your story. >> edit >> I told one of my friends the story and he said replace the phrase 'stop him' with 'block him' and it makes sense.
Once I got to the parking lot that's when I saw a black beatup pickup truck.... with bumper stickers. Gun bumper stickers. Pro gun bumper stickers. Why do I bring this up? Pro gun bumper stickers are fine .... on your bumper. This guy had them on his hood, his fenders, his doors, and tailgate. EVERYWHERE. Then the guy gets out of his truck and hands me his business card for a pro gun website. I thank him and walk away. Oddly enough this is the third vehicle in the area that is advertising pro guns with gun related services. I remember one at a Target that had a ghetto home made sign taped in his rear window saying 'Buy and learn to use your assault rifle before its made illegal.' Oh and come to think of it, I don't recall any bumper stickers on the actual bumper, but maybe I just didn't notice them.
... These are the people in the neighborhood.... in the neighborhood in the neighborhood. :-)