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The Archives Are Doomed: Gold Edition!

   (65 reviews)
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At least it's not a terry wad or something put out by a certain conceited idiot who thinks he's popular.

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Guest

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Wills is the God of Jokewads 4/5

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Guest

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oh i get it its a crappy joke wads about how crappy joke wads are! how deliciously novel!

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Guest

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Pfft. I have no idea how the author did it. but he got me to play a bunch of the most retarded maps ever hit the eyes of human beings... 5/5

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Guest

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wtf it crashed when i defeated the fianal boss ( tried to) otherwise its very good

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Guest

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Actually this wad made me wet my pants. Level 3 is awesome, my favourite map off all time. Overall this gets 4/5. -Dqey

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Guest

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"Wills is the God of Jokewads" - that's a dubious honour if ever there was one. 0/5

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Guest

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I am not depressed, nor jealous, nor a teenager, but I give this 0/5. Really, making or raving about a wad like this can only come through being jaded with Doom as a whole. Those who still like the game itself find ample pleasure in wads that make use of the game's strengths, rather than indulging in this type of "community" wankfest. Did I mention I dislike this type of wad?

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Guest

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Why do I have the doubt that the author is continously giving himself 5 stars? I seriously don't find an answer why this huge piece of catshit has so many good votes. Btw, this wad does really suck balls. 0/5

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Guest

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All of the new levels are amusing, and everything else is just as good. 5/5

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Jimothy

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'Tis a fun little jokewad, with its share of "crap" and other assorted oddities. (Wading through the pile of slippery liquid in the "porn" level was...uh...it elicited a "das nasty" from me.) The boss battle against the large Imp (God) was pretty amusing. Overall, a good mapset that knows what it's parodying. 4/5

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Guest

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wtf is this shit

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Guest

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Just as bad as the original, so 0.

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Guest

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the first one was really good, but this is one is like to die from laughing so hard. this is one of those jokewads that go down in history like mock 2, killing adventure and deathzOr online. 5/5, 10/5 if i could.

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Guest

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It's a jokewad; you love it or hate it. I love it. 5/5

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Guest

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this is a good wad.

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Guest

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"A re-release of The Archives Are Doomed (T.A.R.D.) with a bunch of new features, and just in time for the Cacowards 2006." If Kaiser doesn't release "TCIF" soon you just might win. 4/5

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Guest

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well, he has four days. i don't see it happenin anytime soon so maybe so. 4/5

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Guest

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Poor wills, this wad didn't win a cacoward. But, good thing you made HNTBS. Heh.

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Guest

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Wills, your'e a fuckking genious. This wad is an absolute Cacowad material. Please, make more wads. 5/5 -Moti

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Guest

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The new levels are awesome, especially the train level with the Jarre train music in the BG. The final level is funny and not to mention the school map. 5/5 -PC

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Guest

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well i liked only a few levels the rest was like playing gamarra oooooooooo almost forget joke wads are getting really stuiped pepole should stop makeing this wads stop makeing them !!!!!!!!!!111

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Guest

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This is a re-release of a levelset that came out in October. As before, it's a mixture of parodies and odd ideas. The jokes aren't funny but the odd ideas are sometimes clever. I enjoyed the references to wow.wad and The Sky May Be, although it seems odd to parody a parody. The original was amusing but like all novelties it doesn't have any replay value at all, even with new bits, so I'm giving this a lower mark. I'm not a personal friend of the author; I've never met him.

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Guest

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Does Jb ever make any good reviews? Anyways this deserves 5 stars, I hate people who are always like OMFG THIS WAD IS DIFFERANT FROM THE THOUSANDS OF OTHERS SO LETZ SHOOT IT DOWN. There needs to be some variety, especially when a snazzy and hip wad like this one comes along. 5 stars

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Guest

Unknown date

  
Its like a monkey with a hangover shot up heroin and buttfucked Courtney Love, and this is what was leftover. I'd rather play with myself and think about the first sentence I wrote than play this again. 1/5

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  • File Reviews

    • By VanillaExtract · Posted
      Pretty solid for a bite-sized claustrophobic level. Even on UV it doesn't get frustrating, though you will die a few times. On top of that, the level is pretty short overall, taking less than 10 minutes. The level is pretty linear in terms of unravelling, but there was at least one encounter that could have gone quite differently if I hadn't taken care of an enemy earlier, so there's a little bit of strategy. The combination of Wolf3d and Doom textures make for a colorful and macabre combination, having bright, cartoony blue walls interspersed with rooms of meat. Good stuff!
    • By Roofi · Posted
      One of the best wads of the 1990s I've ever played. The main weakness is surely its very outdated aestheticism with a very strange use of textures.   On the other hand, the wad must be retained for its ingenious traps and creative layouts. The wad is not easy. I have died several times in some levels. Rocketmen are particularly dangerous but at the same time very useful in killing their teammates.   My level is probably level 5 "The Hidden Below". I loved the height variations and the ways of climbing and descending. Moreover in each level, there are nice textures like barriers, middle-textures arches....   For me this wad is an example of true level design and inventiveness.   I rate it only 4.5/5 because of the absence of new music and the rather rudimentary aestheticism even for its time.  
    • By Walter confetti · Posted
      Big, fun exploration map with a really good theme... Visplanes crash on vanilla DOOM2.exe, works without any problem with doom2+
    • By P41R47 · Posted
      I really liked the free alternative to TNT: Evilution.
      Icarus: Alien Vanguard is a totally different monster but somehow similar, made by the same monster team.
      This lacked a proper dehacked patch with custom text, but @NightFright made a neat fix for that, telling a compelling story that is really entertaining to play.
      The maps are amazing. The best maps here are far better than Evilution's best maps. The bad ones here, are just bad Doom 2 level maps, so there is little to be really bad all in all.
      But, Icarus had the same little ill as Evilution had, last ten maps completely drags the experience. At least, this maps are better than the ten last from Evilution.

      Team TNT has shown that not only are good mappers, they also are good storytellers and that, in a game like Doom, is something to be proud of. And they achive this even working non stop to release this before Evilution hit the streets, so, even if some maps feel a little rushed, they are great!
      The soundtrack is a key element here. Bringing an awesome personallity to this outstanding mapset full of neat ideas.

      Thanks team TNT for this amazing megawad.    
    • By P41R47 · Posted
      ETERNAL DooM is not a megawad, its an experience that had to be lived to be fully undertanded.
      This is the megawad of the 90's for me in terms of exploration and atonishing sightseeing og the marvelous structures around.
      This megawad its one of the few that awakes in me a sense of wonder like no other.
      And to make things better, i played the incredible dehacked patch that @NightFright made, that adds maps names and new text screens with a custom story. This is the ultimate way to play this outstanding work.

      Now to the flaws: the first two levels are what really define if you would play this megawad or not. The first maps is corridor after corridor, with a little puzzle for the keys to enable the exit, after that, the second map is something completely different, with a very big puzzle map that will catch everybody unprepared. If you can reach map three, your surely are at it now, and after that, is a big alley up, a pretty big mountain ahead full of wonders.

      Thanks team Eternal and TNT for this amazing work of art. This possibly is the best megawad i played soo far and the one that i most liked. It has almost everything, new textures and graphics, new way of thinking maps, extremelly clever puzzles, a lot of exploration and a full experience.

      What it lacks? Maybe a proper graphic for the end boss, a proper BOSSBACK also, and some new monsters would be cool, but for a megawad from 1997, this is almost perfect.
      And the soundtrack!
      God, thats a marvelous soundtrack!
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