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32in24-14: How the Hamburglar Stole Christmas

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"...It was the pinnacle of burgerdom. Finally, the long summer's study in Aberdonian cuisine and bovine mating rituals had yielded of a supple, juicy tower clad with buns too good to slap and the fattest sow the YEDS had ever sewn. The chief engineer-turned-overlord of foodstuffs, Percival Mechacook, deemed it necessary to awaken Shaitoken from his long winter's slumber to celebrate this yuletide achievement. Together, they would drive the Yeoman Engineers of Software and Design into a golden age of quality dining and unencumbered festivity. Christmas would take on a whole new meaning, and this time there would be no mistakes...

The burger was transported cross-country with 48 (respectably delicious) dummy-meals for protection. It was these meals that prevented the dreaded Hamburglar from eating everything in the back of the truck, his gristly whiskers lapping up the meat with fevered relish. Instead, the disgusting tramp of a man was only able to consume a whole 7 of the burgers before his stomach gave way and he was forced to ship the rest of them to his top secret Threecock Christmas Facilities for quality assessment.

One of these facilities now houses The Prize... but how long before it goes bad, or is eaten by the Hamburglar? Will this meaty masterstroke be the saviour of Christmas, or its ultimate undoing?"

...

And the Hamburglar puzzled, till his puzzler was sore Then thought of a thing that he hadn't before! "Maybe Christmas," he thought, "doesn't come from McDonalds." "Maybe Christmas... perhaps... cannot be robbled!" And what happened then? Well... in Doomworld they say, That the Hamburglars hidden penis grew three sizes that day!

And then he was arrested for lewd conduct with Joe-Ilya in the men's room of a McDonalds. The Yeoman Engineers and Designers of Software carried out the arrest and swiftly carried out a military tribunal. Hampton C. Burglar was found guilty of billions of counts of burger larceny and poorly concealing his penis in the titlepic and sentenced to death by firing squad.


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trrobin

  
Thoroughly enjoyed it.

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Katamori

  
Very pleasant Christmas experience.

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Marcaek

  
A lot better than I expected, good Survival WAD for the holiday season.

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Guest

  
One of the best of 32in24 so far up to map 31, 5 stars.

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Zalewa

  
A bunch of nice maps up to and including MAP31. All maps above that can be skipped. Very good visuals and decent gameplay and it's impressive when you consider that these are speedmaps. Good job. Disgusting hudface, though :(

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dg93

  
Clever title and fun gameplay

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Guest

  
Of the 42 maps, I reckon about 24 were enjoyable enough to recommend that you play this - particularly as they're all in the main 30 maps. The secrets and extras... Can comfortably be skipped. -Phobus

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Protester

  
6 out of 12

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joe-ilya

  
I'm a part of the plot(?) Also sucks my maps are in the 4th episode. Most of the maps are cool, I especially liked xasers big piece of map.

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Guest

  
^ I mummified me after playing this. Many maps with egyptian theme for a Christmas theme wad. fF.

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NuMetalManiak

  
I got Parkinson's after playing this, also you got the music wrong in my map.

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Guest

  
Tankboy-Very nice set of maps!

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Guest

  
Fantastic megawad. I have only minor complaints. Some maps tend to be a wee bit too heavy on hitscan enemies for my taste. Also, I'm certain that there exists special part of Hell designed specially for map 16's author.:)

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Guest

  
Razen is full of shit.This wad is great!End of story.

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Guest

  
Way better and more fun than maps like this have any right to be.

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pcorf

  
This is an incredible effort for maps that were made in 1 day. Esp MAP29.

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Mechadon

  
COCKS/5 Needs more hidden gay cocks

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Guest

  
map42, lol - https://www.youtube. com/watch?v=_DzPyHP1 O9Y&list=PLTK5UMTFDo 8-SDAZMLh7wCJitmly6Z BhM pretty easy to see how that went into the side episode and the last map at that. Side episode has a lot of average to subpar maps (though usually not as bad as the bad parts of 32in24sp.wad), main megawad is generally quality and best SP 32in24 so far. I won't hold the side episode against the rating, I know 32in24 maps don't just get thrown away completely. First possible caco of 2015 perhaps.

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Guest

  
i'm feeling tight in the pants right now

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Xaser

  
Can I give 5 stars to TMD's comment?? Also cocktacular job everyone! This is probably a compliment!

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Doomkid

  
best wad ever 10/10 -IGN 8/10 -IGN

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Fuzzball

  
INTERPIC

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TMD

· Edited by TMD

  

Considerably better than the previous 32in24 sp
Other than the inevitable delays, of course...
Can a 32in24 ever have 32 maps in 24 hours again?
Kick ass game play in the final product but-
Sadly, cannot give 5 stars due to false advertising.

4/5, would read first letters of each line again. -TMD

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Guest

  
i left my boyfriend for this wad gay/5

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molten_

  
It's shit.

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  • File Reviews

    • By guitardz · Posted
      Some very cool techbases with a nice texture set and pallette.  The music is pretty epic.  And it all runs in vanilla! (Or so it is said, I played it in GZDoom)
    • By Philnemba · Posted
      I honestly can't believe that this whole megawad is 100% vanilla compatible and its only the first of THREE episodic megawads! Esselfortium and her team of creative energetic mappers has done an amazing job from the unique texture set, the music, the maps & even the tweaked color palette that fits the mood of the whole thing.    100% highly recommended! 5/5 
    • By Erick · Posted
      A pretty straightforward map to run through, packing in tons of enemies in rooms both big and small. Most of the monsters you'll be killing are E1 monsters such as Zombiemen and Imps, so while there isn't much in monster variety, there are plenty of ways to get them to fight each other which I like. It might be better to try and get as many monsters to start attacking at the same time since once you get the Chaingun, not even the groups of Spectres are much of a threat. Overall though, the map is still fun to blast through if you just want to kill tons of monsters in packs.
    • By NuMetalManiak · Posted
      this is a strange wad, with assets similar to Darkest Hour and other Star Wars-themed wads, many of the maps focus on small killings, as most of the maps are actually small. Pinchy's finale sure makes this worth it. oh yeah, quite a few custom stuff was done. the flamethrower marines were quite annoying, while other monsters gained multiple attacks, new ones, it's all so zany. the maps are pretty well done overall and this is worth a try.
    • By Doomkid · Posted
      Okay, I get it, it's a megawad mainly for speedrunners who are intricately familiar with the mechanics of the game down to the nitty-gritty. A series of challenges/obstacles that, for the most part, seem to be possible but are generally ludicrous (and sometimes outright laughable, in a good way).   This was is not a "pile of junk" as a few have said however it's really, really lacking in a lot of ways. I get that the wad is meant to have a fun-and-not-serious tone despite it's overall extreme difficulty but the texturing looks like the insides of a toilet bowl after a Taco Bell buffet. Seriously, these maps are jealous of how beautiful and futuristic maps like UAC_DEAD look. The DWANGO series looks like fucking Ancient Aliens compared to this.   The MIDIs are lighthearted, silly and fun, which adds a layer of appeal for me personally. I loved seeing Patrick Stewart at the intermission too, rofl   I had some fun with this IDCLEVing through the whole wad and giving each map a try or 2 before moving on to the next but I seriously doubt I'll ever be back. The same idea with better texturing and overall taking itself just a tiny bit more seriously would warrant a higher rating. Ass-ugly texturing, silly MIDIs and a silly titlepic/interpic are fun in their own right so don't take me the wrong way but a lot of it crossed into "looks like the authors gave 0 fucks" category and I just have to take points away for that.   Also,   lol wtf is this bullshit is this a terrywad or somethin i mean jeeeezus   Overall, this is worth a peek just for some fun but unless you're a highly skilled speedrunner that also doesn't mind looking into a crapchute map after map, this probably doesn't really have much for you.
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