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J O L T D O O M
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Brought to you by Banished CPU
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³ To install this patch, simply unzip the files into your DOOM ³
³ directory. (Registered version is required.) Then type "JOLT". To ³
³ uninstall, type "UNJOLT". Have fun! ³
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Enter the Age of J-J-J-JOLT
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The people of Earth are ADDICTED TO JOLT! In fact, Earth has been
plagued with Jolt for hundreds of years. Among the general populace, Jolt
has caused mutations, cancers, and worse...
Jolt mutated EVERYONE who drank it. Most of the mutants died from
their own hideous deformities. Still others perished in the perpetual
maelstrom of caffeine-induced violence. But some survived.
You, a rare person who never drank Jolt, are about to meet these awful,
Jolt-addicted mutants face-to-face...
The scientists of Earth (otherwise known as Nerds) strove valiantly to
save the people from Jolt. In the end, however, the Nerds became more
addicted to Jolt than anyone else!
The corrosive cola ate through their stomach walls. In fact, it ate
their WHOLE BODIES away! Now, all that is left of the Nerds is their
skulls. And the Nerds are still as addicted to Jolt as ever! Their
never-ending withdrawal symptoms include flames coming out of their skulls.
Oh yes, and their Jolt-induced mutations have resulted in telekinetic flying
abilities. They go around flaming, flying, screaming, flaming, flying...
You get the idea.
Be forewarned: So great is the fury of the Nerds at not being able to
satiate their Jolt addiction that they devote all of their energies to the
task of slaughtering those who can still drink Jolt! The brain-damaged Nerd
Skulls have one overriding philosophy: "If we can't drink Jolt, no one else
can either!"
Many Nerd Skulls are quite insane. They try to fly into you and knock
your head off, in hopes of attaching themselves to your body so they can
resume their drinking of Jolt... Deep, deep insanity.
The surviving mutants were so diverse that distinct species emerged.
One of these species is exceptionally hideous. Cancer is the norm for these
creatures. They are red and extremely bloated. They also have a mutation
which allows them to fly (much like the Nerd Skulls). They are so
grotesque, they are rumored to be related to slugs or Oprah Winfrey. You
will soon see them, along with the other species of Jolt-addicted mutants,
for yourself.
One of your best weapons against these mutants will be a Jolt Launcher.
The Jolt Launcher has replaced the traditional Rocket Launcher; the noxious
power of Jolt is even more terrible than rockets!
HEED THIS FINAL WARNING: Jolt has caused chronic gastrointestinal
problems in the mutants. Many of them even belch when they are dead...
Banished CPU supports Freedom of Speech!
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³ 28800 bps (9 lines with V.Fast)...........(503) 232-9202 ³
³ 14400 bps (11 lines with V.32bis).........(503) 232-6566 ³
³ 9600- bps (12 lines with V.32)............(503) 232-5783 ³
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