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Security to the Bidet!

   (7 reviews)
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About This File


nowhere to be seen, the security team

was toasted hours ago and Deanna Troi

has a headache. Just why the Enterprise

is crawling with Imps and Cacodemons,

no-one knows. They should be aliens

with latex on their foreheads and noses,

but alas, we make do.

You are Ensign Wesley Crusher - your

mother was on planet leave when _strange_

things started to happen. Data got a life,

Lwaxana became a nun, the security team

came back from planetside intact, Worf

came out of the closet, Riker _didn't_

scam on some babe and Tasha Yar came back

from the dead ... again. Ya-know, it's the

little things that give it away. It's

gonna be a tough day.

Set phasers to rotisserie and report to

transporter room three on the double. You

must join your mum before _you_ get toasted

and the Enterprise gets a parking ticket.

Just look out for Q in a very special guest

appearance in engineering!

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Unknown date

Remember Star Trek? No? Back in 1994 it was a given that everybody on the internet was a fan of Star Trek; the boring, modern kind of Star Trek. Times have changed. This is a modest Star Trek level with no custom graphics or sounds. It's basically a big, poorly-textured, angular maze of undetailed rectangular corridors, shaped roughly like the Starship Enterprise. Has no more gameplay than any random lot of rooms. Texture alignment, what's that?

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Unknown date

Pretty the only thing that's good about this wad is the description. Other than that, ignore this.

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  • File Reviews

    • By Gato606 · Posted
      It's a very impressive megawad with a nice themed ancient Egypt atmosphere, with very nice choosing of textures to contribute to that theme, very nice architecture and impressive (and very risky) twist on the story going from ancient Egypt to alien spaceships, without using hi-pitched colors like in Ancient Aliens. Also, very tough megawad, if you're masochist enough, you can play it with Complex Doom and add LCA for more doses of pain.
    • By whirledtsar · Posted
      It's okay. Quite easy due to the abundance of artifacts, mana, & health. The level design is fine, nothing special. The only truly bad part was the unmarked puzzle bookcases, forcing you to wallhump the entire library as a last resort. Otherwise it's pretty simple stuff, running around finding keys and smashing monsters. The texturing and lighting aren't fantastic but aren't noticeably bad either. The only glaring issue is that many windows just show a wall textured with the sky texture rather than an area with a sky ceiling. Yet there are perfectly normal outdoor areas. Perhaps the author only figured it out skies halfway through development? Anyways, this is worth your time if you want an hour or two of simple Hexen fun.
    • By yourusernamee · Posted
      loved all of it except map20. that map sucked the life out of me. really great stuff all around.
    • By Gato606 · Posted
      It's a nice wad overall, nice map design, textures and monster placement, enjoyed playing on D-Touch (GZDoom1.8) with Dude4th weapon mod.  My only complain would be the secrets, they have very few to no clues about their position.  There was a problem on E3M5 on the secrets around the squared starting room with stairs, the wall closes and let me stuck inside, had to use idclip to get out from those secret rooms.
    • By amackert · Posted
      I recently played through this continuously twice on UV. Overall I feel this is an expertly crafted WAD from start to finish. Beautiful scenery, great soundtrack, and intense gameplay. Maybe a little too intense sometimes, and with that it's probably not a WAD I'll recommend to newbies. If less experienced players absolutely have to try it, I suggest playing on the lower difficulty modes as the included readme suggests. Describing the later maps of this WAD as "brutal" on UV is an understatement to say the least.