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Duke Nukem Forever $10 on Steam

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Handsome said:

Can we safely say that DNF the blunder of the decade?

More like the blunder of three decades.

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Nope there are bigger blunders of three decades. That encompassess video game systems.

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geo said:

Teraria controls terribly. I bought it day 1. I regret that. *shakes head*

It seems better now.

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I'm still blown away by just how many bad design decisions there are in DNF, especially with the hive. The fact that it was full of sobbing women who were basically being raped was bad. The fact that Duke Nukem cracked jokes every time you shot them (and you pretty much had to shoot them otherwise they'd burst open releasing parasites) was even worse.

Oh and the weapon limit. I know 4chan shit is kind of frowned upon here but I honestly can't resist posting this

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Sounds like a great game if you want to be an ever bigger gomar than the Postal Dude :-p

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Maes said:

Sounds like a great game if you want to be an ever bigger gomar than the Postal Dude :-p


Duke Nukem basically makes the Postal Dude look like god damn Gandhi.

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Personally I'd have a strong female lead competing or compareable with Duke and spitting in alien faces to counter balance all the sissy women there are in the game. Duke would be aged to match the voice and he wouldn't be up his own ass so much. If you're that cool do you need to tell the world how coold you are? Do you really need 2 women sucking your cock in a mansion every night? Chances are Duke would just fuck random fans like a fucking rock star.

Have soldiers around for levity and then they all die in hilarious ways... but since you're Duke fucking Nukem you could laugh at them instead of laughing at dead women.

Oh and then... make his pop culture references... reference today's pop culture not 15+ years ago. Kick ass and chew bubble gum and hail to the king were 5 years old so go with today's 5 year old movies like I'm tired of these mutherfucking aliens on this motherfucking spaceship. (I just botched up snakes on a plane).

To carry dozens of weapons... first of all does it matter how he carries don's of weapons? He could use flat technology like they do in Ultra Violet where a child can fit in a notebook and a sword can fit in a belt buckle. Or a multichange weapon like Samus, Megaman and Hard Reset has... or just not mention how its done.

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geo said:

To carry dozens of weapons... first of all does it matter how he carries don's of weapons? He could use flat technology like they do in Ultra Violet where a child can fit in a notebook and a sword can fit in a belt buckle. Or a multichange weapon like Samus, Megaman and Hard Reset has... or just not mention how its done.


It wasn't a matter of explaining why he could carry dozens of weapons, it was apparently a matter of catering to console players. Apparently 3Drealms was too damn stupid to think of doing something like what Bioshock did with its radial weapons menu.

If you're that cool do you need to tell the world how coold you are? Do you really need 2 women sucking your cock in a mansion every night? Chances are Duke would just fuck random fans like a fucking rock star.

I don't think you understand what Duke Nukem was about.

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Yes radial menu works quite well and supposedly this game was made 10 years ago... so manybe that was too much to program between Bioshock and now.

I must have failed to know what its about. 3D shooter?

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It's interesting to me to note that people who used to defend DNF are now taking a negative position on the subject of it, heh.

I missed the $10 sale, which isn't really surprising. If I ever have some extra money and it goes on sale again, I might buy it, but that's actually not extremely likely, considering the things I've heard about the game which don't really appeal to me.

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geo said:

Personally I'd have a strong female lead competing or compareable with Duke and spitting in alien faces to counter balance all the sissy women there are in the game. Duke would be aged to match the voice and he wouldn't be up his own ass so much. If you're that cool do you need to tell the world how coold you are?

You don't understand the parody that is Duke Nukem much.

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geo said:

Personally I'd have a strong female lead competing or compareable with Duke and spitting in alien faces to counter balance all the sissy women there are in the game. Duke would be aged to match the voice and he wouldn't be up his own ass so much.


I remember someone had proposed looooong ago to make Duke Nukem 3D age and turn it down a couple of notches, give him handicaps, perhaps some maturity and/or weakness/insecurity. I objected as to the kind of "insecurity" he should be given. If we mean the "Superman growing up in Smallville and becoming an effeminate metrosexual pushover" kind of insecurity, then hell no.

If we were talking about the Duke becoming more like a Bukowski-style gritty, seedy, disillusioned rot-gut drunkard with a destroyed liver, a failing prostate and junk-fucking womanizer, then fuck yeah ;-)

Just imagine the following line sternly spoken by the Duke:

“There was nothing really as glorious as a good beer shit—I mean after drinking twenty or twenty-five beers the night before. The odor of a beer shit like that spread all around and stayed for a good hour-and-a-half. It made you realize that you were really alive.”


(or any other quote from this page, for that matter). Now, that shit would BE the MOTHER-FUCKING-ASS!

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LOL I wouldn't give him weakness or insecurity or handicaps.... other than limited ammo and he starts out with a pistol. Its a video game... there shouldn't be handicaps unless you're specifically going for realism... which why would Duke go for realism? American Soldier FPS should go for that.

Just because Duke would get older doesn't mean he can't kick ass. But I guess I've backhanded myself because aging Duke would be "realism" Mario never ages... but his voice doesn't sound like an old man. But if they found a younger voice people would complain that it wasn't his original voice... so then it was their job to hide how old Duke sounds when running or jumping or talking. His voice doesn't seem to have punch anymore (at least from what I heard).

Maybe if there was some new quippy hero instead of drawing on nogstalgia. I haven't played Bullet Storm, but to me that looked like a new age Duke. Maybe not in terms of look of character, but fun, silliness and 1 liners.

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geo said:

Duke would be aged to match the voice and he wouldn't be up his own ass so much.

Reminded me of this

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geo said:

Just because Duke would get older doesn't mean he can't kick ass... [snip] ... but his voice doesn't sound like an old man.


Well, the point wasn't making him sound like the geriatric kind of "old man", I was thinking more along the lines of the "grizzly veteran"/"bitter old man"/"nasty old fart that takes no shit from nobody" kind. Think of tough characters like Clint Eastwood or Charles Bronson, or like Burt Lancaster/Kirk Douglas in Tough Guys ;-)

A Charles Bukowski type of disillusionment/cynicism could be thrown in, as long as it didn't verge on the dramatic/loser side and just sticked to the gross parts (beer shits and farts, to be precise).

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All 3 of yours are good and that's what I was meaning too just didn't state it as aptly. And yes dramatic losers don't make good action heroes or video game characters. Mario and Pac Man charge into danger.

I ponder all of these things because lately with the talk of Duke & my playing TF2 and HL1. I've been making my own FPS (working on fun guns). I learn from people's criticism of games so I don't fall into the same traps. Failures inspire me.

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Anybody recall one of the guys from 3DRealms bragging (possibly as a joke) about how Duke would top Mario? Before DNF's release obviously.

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LOL you know I do remember someone saying that, but I'm not sure its DNF. No one can top Mario. Its not possible, so I assume its a joke.

Speaking of blunders....

Some developers have come out and said that PS Vita will be a giant blunder from a sales standpoint because people want only 1 thing in their pocket and no one needs something that good and Sony will lose $200 on each one and the dev cycle might be 12-18 months per game that will be $50. No one will buy it. I thought that rant was good. Not quoting the rant but paraphrasing it.

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With the ways things were going on over at 3DRealms with their DNF development (ie: barbecues and shit), I sort of thought the guy was that deluded.

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Maes said:

I remember someone had proposed looooong ago to make Duke Nukem 3D age and turn it down a couple of notches, give him handicaps, perhaps some maturity and/or weakness/insecurity. I objected as to the kind of "insecurity" he should be given. If we mean the "Superman growing up in Smallville and becoming an effeminate metrosexual pushover" kind of insecurity, then hell no.

If we were talking about the Duke becoming more like a Bukowski-style gritty, seedy, disillusioned rot-gut drunkard with a destroyed liver, a failing prostate and junk-fucking womanizer, then fuck yeah ;-)

I imagined DNF years ago as aliens invading Earth, and defeating Duke by zapping him with a psychic beam and turning him into a hip, sensitive new-age guy. Then the human resistance forces go back in time to get the old Duke to save the day.

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yellowmadness54 said:

You've been reincarnated into a Halo game.

Fixed. If Duke has been "modern shooter-ized" by anything, it's more similar to Halo (i.e. Ego system == Halo 2/3's shields + regenerating indicator-less health; enemies taking more than 1-4 shots from any gun to kill, the 2 weapon limit[which, again, is changed to 4 when the game's up to date and you select the related option] existed there before CoD existed) than Call of Duty.

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Maybe this has already been answered and maybe it deserves its own topic but...

What were you really hoping for with Duke Nukem Forever?

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geo said:

Maybe this has already been answered and maybe it deserves its own topic but...

What were you really hoping for with Duke Nukem Forever?


Duke Nukem 3D with better graphics and new levels. Oh, and new bosses. All the profanity, sexism, nudity, and machismo of Duke Nukem 3D as well.

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Well, technically speaking, you got all that ;-)

But it's kinda like the joke with the Genie and the negro:

A negro was lost in the desert, and discovers a magic lamp. He rubs it, and a genie appeared, telling him that he can grant him 3 wishes. The negro wishes for the following:

  • I want to see WATER ahead of me! LOTS OF WATER!
  • I want to be WHITE! WHITE AS PORCELAIN!
  • I want to see a LOT OF ASSES!
And the Genie granted him all three wishes in ONE: he turned him into a toilet bowl ;-)

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Vordakk said:
Duke Nukem 3D with better graphics and new levels.

Well there's your problem right there. You cannot seriously expect a game made/released 10+ years after the last one to be that similar to the last one.

Oh, and new bosses. All the profanity, sexism, nudity, and machismo of Duke Nukem 3D as well.

All of which are in DNF. Except here it's bitched about.

EDIT: Fixed improperly formatted bold tags.

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I bought it, played it, and had fun with it. It's nothing really special -- it plays like a generic modern game for the most part -- but it was still entertaining through and through.

Now, it absolutely could've been much better, considering, but I really feel like the only thing that makes people lump it in the shit pile rather than the "average" pile is the name and the prior hype. It's most certainly this generation's Daikatana, but when judged purely on its own grounds, it's a fun, though flawed, romp.

The Hive level was probably a bit much, though, considering. The the pod chicks from 3D were okay, but they really threw a whole layer of "holy shit" sauce on this one.

They at least nailed the weapons, i think, 'cept maybe the RPG (sooo slow and too little ammo). Blasting things away was fun for sure, though I admit I played it with 4-weapon mode so being more limited in choice would probably be annoying as hell.

So yeah, whatever. DNF wasn't as great as it should've been (they shoulda just released something back in '98/'99), but at least it turned out to be something playable. I may have been a bit ticked if I spent $60 on it, but I don't feel cheated out of my $10, at least. :P


[EDIT] Another point of rant, while I'm on the topic: I poked through a few reviews on Metacritic and was surprised with the number of reviewers who considered the game to be a "relic from the past" or something similar. Isn't it just the opposite? A lot of the problems with it arose from the developers trying and failing to implement modern game cliches. If it actually HAD taken the classic approach to, say, health and weapon management, it would've been a lot better recieved.

Also on that note, I'm not sure what the gripes about its graphics are about. It looks as good as any other current-gen game to me ('cept maybe Crysis), though I'm probably blind to this sort of stuff due to my love of pixels.

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I don't blame Gearbox for the failures of DNF. They're pretty cool guys for picking up an infamous project like DNF and finishing to the point of a sellable product.

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Xeros612 said:

All of which are in DNF. Except here it's bitched about.


Well to be fair, I've never played it nor have I seen videos. I hate Steam with a passion, but when the physical copies get a bit cheaper I'm gonna pick it up. If it's as you say, I'll probably enjoy it, especially for $10 or less.

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Yep its not Gearbox's fault for releasing a game 10 years after it was made. Someone has to step in and say look fuckers, we need a product otherwise we go out of business like the last company.

There are few games that are worth a 5 year development cycle.
- GTA
- Elder Scrolls

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Seriously is everyone still Bitching about DNF? If you can't be happy with the game then there's a few things wrong, either you've never played and been a fan of the original games, Your pissed because it's not like COD, MW, BF or some other shitty Military based game, or you expected WAY TOO MUCH out of this game. It took Longer than GNR's Chinese Democracy Album for Christ's Sake! That was foreshadowing that anything that need more then 10 years to make wasn't gonna be amazing. Duke Nukem Forever was awesome Despite it's Modern Day Cultural failures. Other than that it was Duke Nukem straight from formula and at his finest So either like it or Eat shit and die. And for the "Fans" of DN At least the game came out. Be happy for once in your lives. Damn.

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