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Technician

LuLu - Metallica and Lou Reed Make a Babby.

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I want to start out by saying I'm a big fan of Lou Reed, but not so much for Metallica. You'd think this combination is a bit like adding oil to water, and it's just that.

OK now, I had my doubts about this album, but... Dear Lord.

This is probably the best song on the album.



And a parody of said song that is a million times better.


Long story short, this album is a failure. But in such a funny way.

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The funniest part is watching Metallica fans go apeshit over this steaming pile of crap...at least those that can stay up past their bedtime and are allowed on the internet.

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I can't judge the whole thing since I've only heard one song on the radio, but it didn't make me want to listen to the rest of it.

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The first four albums. Kill 'Em All, Ride the Lightning, Master of Puppets, and ...And Justice For All. After those, the true spirit of Metallica died. This song reinforces that argument.

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Vordakk said:

The first four albums. Kill 'Em All, Ride the Lightning, Master of Puppets, and ...And Justice For All. After those, the true spirit of Metallica died. This song reinforces that argument.

QFT.

I can't tell if this band is being serious.

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Lou Reed has recieved death threats from Metallica fans over this.

Some people are fucking retarded.

Some of those people are in a band called Metallica, though.

I should say, I enjoyed their last album, Death Magnetic, immensely. It was a lot closer to their original sound, and it was solid all the way through.

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I gave this a try against everything I've ever believed in and it was the biggest waste of time. That 20 minute song is hilariously bad. Half of it is guitar noises going in and out and in and out. I can't tell if the Metallica guys are joking when they say it's the greatest thing they've ever made.

Oh yeah, and I think I remember seeing lyrics about masturbating dogs too. Nice try guys.

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It would be much better in MIDI form as background music for a standard Doom 2 urban wad.

EDIT: I'm currently listening to that 19 minute track. Definitely not heavy metal, it sounds more radio friendly, but is somewhat monotonous and the voice isn't very musical, so I can understand why it can bore some people. Hetfield's voice is 200% better, why not use him instead. But I love the riffs!

EDIT: others seem to be more heavy metal, but the voice doesn't do them justice...

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Oh my gawd I thought it was a joke when I first heard this.

Now I feel traumatized and need to take drastic measures.

::: throws in his Black disk :::

Time to bring the fuckin' walls down.

BOOM

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I am the TABLE.

I listened to some of the stream a couple weeks ago. I gotta tell ya, I've heard a LOT of bad music, but this may be the worst thing ever recorded. It's definitely a fair contender for that title. And, yeah, I've heard Metal Machine Music.

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WTF. I couldn't stand listening to that for the entire song. Lou Reed sounds odd with Metallica and the lyrics are bleaghish. This makes that stupid tick tock song sound not so bad now.... haha.

Plays 'Jump In The Fire' instead.

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I'm semi-interested after that track, but it's fairly unremarkable. Could use some more hooks or something but if it's using riffs in lieu of drone like I suspect then keeping it interesting isn't the target. I dunno what everyone is up in arms about.

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Lulu is the sound of two bad karaoke bands fighting over which song to play while a drunk in the audience heckles them continuously for 80 minutes.

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Metallica bore me to death (yes, even their earlier stuff) and this is so bad that... I don't even feel anything at all.

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Doom Dude said:

Plays 'Jump In The Fire' instead.


That isn't a Metallica song


And dear god this is a piece of shit

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Vaporizer said:

I don't get Metallica fanboys. They say that only the first four albums are good and still think Metallica is the best band ever. They also say that Hetfield is the best singer ever, Kirk is the best guitarist ever, Lars is the best drummer ever and Cliff is the best fucking musician ever who would have said no to Loutallica. Funny thing is that Cliff was a fan of Lou. They can't come up with reasons why Metallica is the best band ever, just that first four albums were masterpieces and rest sucks (but still deserve 10/10 rating).


Hetfield isn't much of a singer at all; his forte is guitar(one of the fastest downpickers) but he took vocal duties in the band as well, probably because no one else would. His range is barely an octave from what I can tell. The fact that he's rated in some magazine lists as one of the top 100 metal vocalists of all time is absolute garbage, and owes everything to the popularity of Metallica and nothing to his vocal talent. You should hear their demo/live stuff before Kill 'Em All. Hetfield tries to go high on "Phantom Lord" and epic fails - it's wretched. Lars is a shitty drummer who gets by with studio magic in my opinion. Hammett is decent but certainly not the best guitarist ever. Cliff was a good bassist and was probably a cool dude, but he wasn't God. If you want to point to the best musician in Metallica, it might have been Dave Mustaine, who is an amazing guitarist(listen to the "Rust in Peace" album to see what I mean).

Despite all that, on those first four albums, they wrote some undeniably fantastic material(albeit heavily influenced by Diamond Head, Budgie, etc.). I'm not a "Metallica fanboy", nor do I think they're the best band ever, but I will still argue that those early Metallica albums are still some of the most important and influencial thrash albums ever written. Most music historians would tend to agree.

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Vordakk said:

Hetfield isn't much of a singer at all; his forte is guitar(one of the fastest downpickers) but he took vocal duties in the band as well, probably because no one else would. His range is barely an octave from what I can tell. The fact that he's rated in some magazine lists as one of the top 100 metal vocalists of all time is absolute garbage,

I like his voice, though.

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printz said:

I like his voice, though.


Yeah me too, it fits the music and does its job. But if we're gonna start talking about the greatest metal vocalists, based on actual talent, Dio and Halford would be at the top and Hetfield would be near the bottom, no?

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