Telemarketers

Heh... A telemarketer just called me up. The first human marketer to call me in some months. When he finally gave me a chance to reply, I told him I was busy and could he wait a few minutes? He said sure. I stuck the phone under a pillow and I'm going to let it sit off the hook until I hear the hang-up tone or the battery runs out.

Every five minutes he sits waiting for me is another person he can't bug in the middle of dinner. He gets a break in the middle of work and I get the spiteful pleasure of screwing over his company.

Heh... How do you guys deal with telemarketers?

I always say I am busy, but could they phone back at 10pm? They always say they are not working at that time, I say "Give me your home phone number, I will call you" they say they don't want to give number out or be phoned at home, that's when I hit them with my "Well how the fuck do you think I feel then?" :)

I tell him or her that I'm busy, but if they give me their home phone number I'll call them back later. When they express reluctance to give me their home phone number, I ask them if the prospect of me phoning them at home makes them uncomfortable. I've actually been hung up on by telemarketers three times so far. I guess I tend to creep them out :)

**EDIT: Damn you fodders!!! $#@%&*

Ok, try this: Ask them what they are wearing.....

I do what Jack does. I say I'm busy and tell them to wait a few minutes, then I go play some game or music (perferrably offenceive)
and sit the phone next to the speakers, leaving them like that until I hear the off-hook tone.

hehe. I used to be a telemarketer. I quit after 2 months 'cuz it made me feel like such a jerk.

Normally, when they call me, I just hang up.

When someone like that calls, I either that person is not here or pretend to be interested until they ask if I want to buy today.I get called almost 2-3 times per week for that so if they call when I'm mad and tired about the same company calling again and again for cell phones, dirt devil and similarities, Ican't control my angry nerves. I hate to be called for publicity. Anyway, have someone ever bought something from a telemarketing ?

Well, most of the time they want either my mom or my dad, so I just tell'em they're not here, and hang up.
I hate telemarketers.
They are teh ev1l, so to speak.

fodders said:

I always say I am busy, but could they phone back at 10pm? They always say they are not working at that time, I say "Give me your home phone number, I will call you" they say they don't want to give number out or be phoned at home, that's when I hit them with my "Well how the fuck do you think I feel then?" :)

Seinfeld

I just tell them "sorry but I can't make desicions bye"

Zaldron said:

Seinfeld

Glad someone pointed it out.

That guy would steal the pennies off a dead man's eyes

I try and sell them my weed.

I start screaming into the phone at the top of my lungs:


HOW FUCKING DARE YOU WASTE MY FUCKING TIME WITH YOUR COCKSUCKING BULLSHIT YOU FUCKING SCAB DON'T YOU EVER FUCKING CALL ME AGAIN TAKE ME OFF YOUR FUCKING LISTS YOU COMMUNIST SACK OF PISS AND IF YOU CALL ME AGAIN NOT ONLY AM I GOING TO FUCKING REPORT YOU TO THE BETTER BUSINESS BUEAROU I'M GOING TO CUT YOUR FUCKING KNEECAPS OUT WITH A FUCKING SPOON YOU WORTHLESS SACK OF SHIT HAVE A NICE DAY DROWN IN MY SHIT FUCK YOU *CLICK*


Half they time they're still not on the line by the time I hang up.


None of them ever call me again. Seriously. =)

There is a huge ass law in England making it illegal to swear on the phone, even to friends :( Some have been warned and prosecuted when discovered swearing on monitored "it's our duty to monitor calls" calls :(

WHAT THE FICK KIND OF SADO MASOCHISTIC RUSSIAN BONDAGE SHIT IS THAT? JESUS FUCK MAN CALL YOUR SENATOR AND I GUESS DON'T CALL HIM AN IDIOT OR SOMETHING OR SOME BOBBY'S WITH TALL RACCOONS ON THEIR HEADS ARE GOING TO VIOLATE YOUR CIVIL RIGHTS AND SHIT. OH WAIT THEY ALREADY ARE. GODDAMN. I WAS THINKING ABOUT VISITING BRITAIN BUT NOT ANYMORE.

I couldn't call home and say, "Wow, this whole country smells like a soured douchebag?" without getting like beaten by fifty cops with sticks going OI OI OI we'll learn you to have s'm mannas matey? Goddamn man sucks to be you.

England is a queer country.

Uh... you guys keep your phones plugged in?

Silly.

Whenever a charity that my parents don't donate to calls I say "I'm needy, gimme $5". I love Jehovas Witnesses, I strip down to my boxers, answer the door, scratch my nuts and ask wtf they fucking want ;)

Lüt said:

Uh... you guys keep your phones plugged in?

Silly.

If your phone hadn't been plugged in, who knows how much longer we all would have thought you were dead :P

Linguica said:
If your phone hadn't been plugged in, who knows how much longer we all would have thought you were dead :P

NOT ME!!!! :P

"NOT INTERESTED KTHXBYE" *CLICK*

It actually works quite well, since they don't call back.

I am on the net most of the time, so these knobs don't usually bother me, and when they do, it's usually something like "No, now piss off" or "Yes what the fuck do you want?"...I remember when I got the new Slayer album (God Hates Us All) and I played it really loud to piss the dickhead across the road off (THE FUCKNUT IS HAVING A PARTY RIGHT NOW oops caps lock)...while the title track was playing, someone knocked on the door. I was expecting friends so I yelled out "Who the fuck is it?"...I looked through the curtains and saw 2 churchy people leaving...

Bloody telemarketers...Kill 'Em All I say!

God Hates Us All = best cd I own

I hate those idiots trying to get me to go to their church or give me their bible even more than those telemarkerters.

Linguica said:

If your phone hadn't been plugged in, who knows how much longer we all would have thought you were dead :P

Heh, well my parents keep the phone upstairs plugged in, then if anybody does call for me they're like "CALL!" and I'm like *grumble* bitch cunt stain fuck *moan* "Hello?"

:P

I always hide from the Mormons. Silly fools. I pity them, really.

I went to a Catholic school. Flame me later, this is just set-up. Anyway, coming out of school and walking to the bus this one afternoon, there were all these Mormon "youth-leaders" strategically positioned to block every possible escape from the school grounds without actually being on the grounds. They were trying to get everyone at my school to go to a party to celebrate the opening of their new youth center. (Can you say "Indoctrination Nite" at the wardhouse? I knew you could. :)

Heh, when I went to UTD's weekend thing during my HS senior year, I was the only person from Utah and word got around. I'm chillin' in the casino nite, playing blackjack, and the cute girl next to me smiles and says "You're really from Utah"? And descretely flashes her CTR ring (CTR = the mark of the beast that all Momo youths wear on a special ring). Can you believe that luck? The only cute girl who'll talk to me, and that's the first thing she wants to know. *sigh*

Anyway, back on topic. I don't know how long that telemaketer stayed on; I'd yet to hear a busy signal when I hung the thing up after an hour.

I got 'caller display' so I know who's calling.Telemarketer's numbers are always withheld so they've got no chance.

Lüt said:

Heh, well my parents keep the phone upstairs plugged in, then if anybody does call for me they're like "CALL!" and I'm like *grumble* bitch cunt stain fuck <insert 30 seconds of deadnail while I hook up the phone> *moan* "Hello?"

:P

When I'm inserted 30 seconds is usually enough to satisfy most people. Mwahahaha the king of wit strikes again.

30 seconds is never enough of me and don't make me prove it.

Whereas most guys bust their nut at the first sight of pussy I had the forethought to look at the clock before my first screw. Six minutes.

Her: "Not yet."
Me: "Well you'd better hurry up you got about two seconds RRRRRRRRNT time's up you didn't win but what's her consolation prize Roddy?"
Roddy: "It's a towel!"

Fucking is a race I always win :)