Doom Squared part 4

Doom Squared
Part 4

AFTER-ACTION REPORT

…I knew that there was a demon in there before I even opened the door. I could hear his growls and his head constantly banging on the door, trying to get out. I walked carefully across the ledge and over the big coppery door. I took out the red keycard and held it next to the doorframe. The door rattled a bit, the n slowly slid open. The demon was waiting for me on the other side, and started to charge at me. I quickly dodged him at the last second, and watched him go over the ledge and fall 30 feet into the giant, empty septic tank. He landed with a soft thud on the algae that was coating the bottom.

The demon must have been living in this room for a long time, maybe two or three weeks. There were small piles of its feces around, and large warps in the metal walls. There was also a big red exit button on the wall across from me, and without hesitation, I pushed it. A door was opened the north wall, and I entered.

Behind the wall was a small, square concrete room with openings on either side. There were tracks on the floor, and electrical wires on the ceiling. There was also a small green button on the east wall, so I pushed it. There was a sound like the wind rushing through the tunnels, and a glow was coming from the tunnel on the left. Suddenly, a small, five person LRT vehicle pulled up to the room and opened it’s doors. Thinking that this could be the only way out of here, I climbed on, and closed the door behind me. It looked like this little train hadn’t been used in years, there was dust on the seats, and two of the lights were burnt out. The train suddenly started moving forward, so I sat down on the seat and tried to rest.

I woke up about 5 hours later, according to my watch. The train had come to a halt, so I pried the door open. I was at another platform. I stepped onto it and looked around. There was a weird electrical buzzing sound and the air was metallic. I looked at the LRT, and saw why it had stopped: The whole front end was covered in the bodies of imps and demons. The train must have ran into a room full of them. Disgusted, I turned around and saw a small silver door up a flight to stairs…

why doesn't anyone reply to my stories anymore?

They're too long to read.

Lüt droned:
They're too long to read.

WTF? mine are some of the shortest, compared to DSM's

Lüt said:

They're too long to read.

That was a sarcastic remark. Anyway, to partially answer your question, I couldn't find a reasonable comment for your last chapter. The story was ok and I didn't find anything to criticize or something particularly good to commend you with so I didn't write a reply.

As for this particular story, I find it a bit, hm, strange that a hellspawn makes feces - there's just something about it that doesn't "feel" right taking into consideration that the word "demon" is used about creatures/entities that are unnatural/magic in nature.
It's just a minor thing, but since you really want to get some sort of comment (and since you often comment on my stories), I just felt like making a remark on that.

ok, thanks dsm :P

BTW, H*E*X*E*N will be out next week!

YAY!
Just a damn shame I don't have the full game as a source to provide me with ideas, otherwise I might write my own Hexen story.

warez it :P

Insomniac said:

warez it :P

Naw, I don't feel like gettin' lynched by the DW lynch mob ;-)

Why is it strange that demons produce bodily waste products?

Well, it might be for some demons, like the barons of hell (where there is no line of distinction between bodily waste products and vital fluids) and the lost soul who is just a burning effigy of an anguished soul.

But in the case of the lesser demons or "hellspawn" such as the demons and imps they might be magical creatures, but they are also creatures of flesh and blood that need to eat and take a shit now and then. While I guess the imps are smart enough to take a poop in nearby acid, nukage or waste tanks I would trust the pink demons littering everywhere in the base (unless there are someone present to "potty-train" them).

Demons producing waste products is like demons reproducing - it'll only detract from the mystery of these things.

I still disagree with you though you a right about the reproducing thing.

I think part of the mystery is that demons, spiritual creatures, still are so physical.

Of course demons shouldn't reproduce like normal líving creatures do. Exactly that should be a mystery, though I think it's OK for Doom fanfic'ers to give us some glimpses of how demons came into being.

BTW, the cacodemon does have an anus.

There's a new enemy... Demon shit! The sentient kind that claws it's way up your arse...

Damn, i need more alcohol...