Tgif 3

A pastor walked into a neighborhood pub. The place was hopping with
music and dancing but every once in a while the lights would turn off.
Each time after the lights would go out the place would erupt into
cheers. However, when the revelers saw the town pastor, the room went
dead silent. He walked up to the bartender, and asked, "May I please use the restroom?"

The bartender replied, "I really don't think you should."

"Why not?" the pastor asked.

"Well, there is a statue of a naked woman in there, and her most private part is covered only by a fig leaf."

"Nonsense," said the pastor, "I'll just look the other way."

So the bartender showed the clergyman the door at the top of the stairs, and he proceeded to the restroom.

After a few minutes, he came back out, and the whole place was hopping
with music and dancing again. However, they did stop just long enough to give the pastor a loud round of applause.

He went to the bartender and said, "Sir, I don't understand. Why did
they applaud for me just because I went to the restroom?"

"Well, now they know you're one of us," said the bartender. "Would you
like a drink?"

"But, I still don't understand," said the puzzled pastor.

"You see," laughed the bartender, "every time the fig leaf is lifted on the statue, the lights go out in the whole place. Now, how about that drink?"




An Arab diplomat visiting the US for the first time was being wined and dined by the State Department. The Grand Emir was unused to the salt in American foods (French fries, cheeses, salami, anchovies, etc.) and was constantly sending his manservant Abdul to fetch him a glass of water. Time and again, Abdul would scamper off and return with a glass of water, but then came the time when he returned empty-handed.

"Abdul, you son of an ugly camel, where is my water?" demanded the Grand Emir.

"A thousand pardons, O Illustrious One," stammered the wretched Abdul, "a man is sitting on the well."




1. Why does it take longer to build a blonde snowman as opposed to a
regular one?
(You have to hollow out the head.)

2. Why won't they hire blondes as pharmacists?
(They keep breaking the prescription bottles in the typewriters.)

3. Hear about the blonde that got an AM RADIO?
(It took her a month to realize she could play it in the afternoon.)

4. What happened to the blonde ice hockey team?
(They drowned during Spring Training.)

5. Why did the blonde scale the chain-link fence?
(To see what was on the other side.)

6. How did the blonde die drinking milk?
(The cow stepped on her.)

7. How did the blonde burn her nose?
(Bobbing for French fries.)

8. Why do blondes have more fun?
(They're easier to amuse.)

9. What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer?
(Frosted flakes.)

10. Why can't blondes put in light bulbs?
(They keep breaking them with their hammers.)

11. Did you hear about the blonde that shot an arrow into the air?
(She missed.)

12. What is it when a blonde blows into another blonde's ear?
(Data transfer.)

13. Why did the blonde resolve to have only three children?
(Because she read that one child out of every four born was
Chinese.)

14. Why did the blonde put make-up on her forehead?
(She wanted everyone to know that she was able to make up her mind.)

15. Why did the blonde ask her friends to save their burned-out light
bulbs?
(She needed them for the darkroom she was building.)

16. Why are Asians so smart?
(No blondes.)

17. What is the biggest advantage to marrying a blonde?
(You get to park in the Handicapped Zone




A young brunette goes into the doctor's office and tells him that her
body hurts wherever she touches it.

"That's very unusual," says the doctor. "Show me."

She takes her finger and pushes on her elbow and screams in agony. She then pushes on her knee and screams; pushes on her ankle and screams. And so it goes.

No matter where she touches, her agony is apparent.

The doctor says, "You're not really a brunette, are you? You're really a blonde." She sheepishly admits that she is indeed a blonde.

"I thought so," he says. "Your finger is broken."

Heh

I'd laught but I'm a little worn out from loggin in and out to see what's up in doom3. =P

I heard the broken finger one before, I think on here to.

The first four or so of the blond jokes are the funniest.

those blonde jokes are hilarious.

Jesus and the twelve desciple are in heaven contemplating the drrug problem on Earth. after much debate, jesus decides that the best way to come up with a solution is to try all the drugs on earth. so he sends the twelve down to get what they can.

after two days, jesus get a knock on his door.
"who is it?" jesus asks.
"it's peter, I've got cocaine from columbia."
"come in my son" jesus says. shortly afteward comes another knock.
"who is it?" jesus asks.
"it's matthew, I've got weed from jamaica"
"come in my son" jesus said. a few minute later comes another knock.
"who is it?" jesus asks.
"its me thomas, I've got crack from New York City."
"come in my son" jesus says. immediately after jesus closes the door comes another knock.
jesus opens the door. "oh its you judas, what did you bring?"
"the DEA, up against the wall."

Heh...

Anyway, here's something of interest...A Palindrome:

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Friday also means its time for Photoshop Phridays. Yay!