Marnetmar Posted August 8, 2013 You can post ones you've found or you can come up with your own. Examples: There was a young girl from Dallas Who used a dynamite stick for a phallus They found her vagina In North Carolina And her asshole at Buckingham Palace! There was a man from Ghent Who had a penis so long it bent It was so much trouble That he kept it double And instead of coming he went. There once was a man from Madrass Who's balls were constructed of brass When jangled together They played stormy weather And lightning shot out of his ass! Etc. etc. etc. Songs: 0 Share this post Link to post
mrthejoshmon Posted August 8, 2013 There was a man in Leeds Who ate a bag of seeds within an hour his dick was a flower and his arse covered in weeds. That is an old one. 0 Share this post Link to post
andrewj Posted August 9, 2013 This one was on QI the other night, iirc it goes: There once was a man from Australia Who painted his arse like a dahlia A tuppence a sniff Was quite a success But thrupence a lick was a failure 0 Share this post Link to post
SavageCorona Posted August 9, 2013 I know this isn't a limerick but I thought this was a humorous thing to share and it almost technically is (except it still isn't). With the magic of the enter key it shall become a limerick(s). This is 3 variants on the "An English Country Garden" song's chorus: What do you do, if you want a poo In an English country garden? Take down your pants, and suffocate the ants In an English country garden. What do you do, if you want a poo In an English country garden? Do it on a log and blame it on the dog In an English country garden. What do you do when you've done a little poo In an English country garden? Pick up a leaf and wipe your underneath In an English country garden. The original song is here so you get an idea on the melody and tune: 0 Share this post Link to post
Tristan Posted August 9, 2013 I'm sure plenty of people have heard this one before There once was an old man from China Who wasn't a very good climber He slipped on a rock Fell on his cock And now he's got a vagina. 0 Share this post Link to post
SavageCorona Posted August 9, 2013 There was one a lady from Eeling Who had a peculiar feeling She laid on her back And opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling 0 Share this post Link to post
Necromancer-AMV Posted August 9, 2013 There once was a man from Nantucket Whose dick was so long he could suck it He said with a grin As he wiped off his chin "If my ear were a cunt I would fuck it!" 0 Share this post Link to post
Necromancer-AMV Posted August 13, 2013 One I came up with a couple days ago There once was a lady from South Carolina Born with a cock instead of a vagina So the night of her weddin' The hubby she's beddin' Runs screaming all the way to Rhode Island 0 Share this post Link to post
Kontra Kommando Posted August 13, 2013 There once was a man from Kentucky, Who thought vagina was yucky, Went to prison by choice, And with no bass in his voice, Announced he’ll give out a free sucky A yellow bird with a yellow bill Was sitting on me windowsill I lured him in with a piece of bread And then I bashed his fucking head 0 Share this post Link to post
darknation Posted August 13, 2013 My sister sells boxes of condoms, She punctures the ends with a pin. My brother does backstreet abortions; My God! How the money rolls in. 0 Share this post Link to post
Kontra Kommando Posted August 14, 2013 There once was a woman from Kansas City Who made rent by showing her titty When down on her luck Half-price for an ass fuck And no charge if you get your dick shitty 0 Share this post Link to post
Marnetmar Posted August 24, 2013 Two different version of of Kirriemuir: 0 Share this post Link to post
Krispy Posted August 27, 2013 All right, so I had a long train ride to Nürnberg, and I thought I'd try my hand at writing naughty limericks. It made me realize how creative I can be. Prepare the rotten tomatoes. *************************************************************** #1: There once was a man from Spain Whose dick was so sharp it caused pain. His wife gave him head, But, alas, now she's dead, For his prick went right through her brain. #2: There once was a young lass named Lucy With a full set of teeth in her pussy. She preferred Caucasians, But also found Asians Had willies both tender and juicy. #3: Nearby there lives an old chump Who erases mistakes with his rump. But try as he might, He can no longer write For his dick is worn down to the stump. **************************************************************** Eh, eh? What do you think? Publishing material? 0 Share this post Link to post
baronofheck82 Posted August 28, 2013 Out in the barnyard, shovelin' shit My old cow has six tits 0 Share this post Link to post
Marnetmar Posted August 28, 2013 Krispy said:All right, so I had a long train ride to Nürnberg, and I thought I'd try my hand at writing naughty limericks. It made me realize how creative I can be. Prepare the rotten tomatoes. *************************************************************** #1: There once was a man from Spain Whose dick was so sharp it caused pain. His wife gave him head, But, alas, now she's dead, For his prick went right through her brain. #2: There once was a young lass named Lucy With a full set of teeth in her pussy. She preferred Caucasians, But also found Asians Had willies both tender and juicy. #3: Nearby there lives an old chump Who erases mistakes with his rump. But try as he might, He can no longer write For his dick is worn down to the stump. **************************************************************** Eh, eh? What do you think? Publishing material? You are now my favorite person on Doomworld. Also: 0 Share this post Link to post
Anarkavre Posted August 29, 2013 There once was a man from Nantucket Who woke up one morn and said fuck it He pulled down his pants Did a little dance And covered his cock in shit Change shit to spit if that is too distasteful for you. :P 0 Share this post Link to post
scalliano Posted August 29, 2013 There was a young man from Florence To whom all art was abhorrence So he got slightly tipsy Went to the Ufizzi And pissed on the paintings in torrents. 0 Share this post Link to post
DeathevokatioN Posted August 30, 2013 Really cool song if you're into metal of death: Bitch you will get fucked and paid for that A job and nothing more but take care you fucking whore Shrunken - You would be very nice Mummified - Then I would pay your price Bitches is what he hates, sluts is what he rapes Ripper is his name, killing is his sick game Shrunken - You will get Mummified - You won't be upset Fear is what he spreads, lunatic - He's collecting heads Psycho - He's chopping sluts, maniac - The tits he cuts The hands around your neck he strangles you down Pulls out your eyes and cuts your tongue He rips your chest and drills inside your cunt He slices your fingers and minces your feet Shrunken - Now you are - And groom Mummified - You're not very far Butcher - He loves to shrink you Slasher - And mummify you too Bastard - Doing an inhuman action Madman - Gives him pleasure and satisfaction Shrunken - And not very big Mummified - That's fucking sick Flesh he loves to carve, hunger doesn't want to starve Collecting your hair and nails, bitch your skin he sales 0 Share this post Link to post