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hardcore_gamer

Jurassic World to Hit Theaters June 12, 2015

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http://www.ign.com/articles/2013/09/11/jurassic-world-to-hit-theaters-june-12-2015

“It’s important to make a movie for the fans, but I also have to remember that there’s a lot of people who couldn’t care less"

Who here is willing to bet that this will be some terrible CGI spectable film where the dinosours from the original movies have taken over the world somehow?

Well, at least might end up being better then this original abomination: http://www.ign.com/articles/2012/10/10/failed-jurassic-park-4s-almost-human-dinosaurs

Thoughts?

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hardcore_gamer said:

Well, at least might end up being better then this original abomination: http://www.ign.com/articles/2012/10/10/failed-jurassic-park-4s-almost-human-dinosaurs

Now we know how Temple of the Lizard Men characters really look like. Nice concepts, by the way. But not for a Jurassic Park movie. The idea itself is a little too over the top for this particular franchise.

As is the idea of world infestation.

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I want them to do a dinosaur movie that uses all the new stuff discovered/predicted by paleontologists in the 20 years since Jurassic Park came out. Feathered dinosaurs are neat.

As for this movie, I stand in agreement with most: it'll be shit. Meh. Maybe it'll at least be fun shit. Was the third one any fun? I never saw it because I really hated the second one.

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Aliotroph? said:

I want them to do a dinosaur movie that uses all the new stuff discovered/predicted by paleontologists in the 20 years since Jurassic Park came out. Feathered dinosaurs are neat.

Velociraptors were known tiny feathered dinosaurs well before the original was made. I wouldn't hold your breath for anything amazing there.

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hardcore_gamer said:

http://www.ign.com/articles/2013/09/11/jurassic-world-to-hit-theaters-june-12-2015

“It’s important to make a movie for the fans, but I also have to remember that there’s a lot of people who couldn’t care less"


Why don't you include the whole quote there? It was a one-sentence quote, so what was the point in excising the rest of what he said?

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Aliotroph? said:

Was the third one any fun? I never saw it because I really hated the second one.


If you didn't like the second one, stay as far away from the third as you can.

I for one didn't mind Lost World. Sure it wasn't as good as the first, but I still enjoyed it.

Third was terrible.

I think I might be a bit more optimistic than you guys. It's hard to judge it when the only released thing is the logo. And I say that for the very reason they made the third one. You can't just put 90 minutes of people getting chased by dinosaurs. I think they learned that lesson the hard way and will try to inject some humanity back into the thing.

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I like the people knocking the probable use of CGI in the film. You do realize that the first film (and T2) is pretty much responsible for the initial push of CGI in the film industry, right?

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hardcore_gamer said:

Who here is willing to bet that this will be some terrible CGI spectable film where the dinosours from the original movies have taken over the world somehow?


actually, I suspect Jurassic World is the name of the new bigger, better, less kill-the-tourists theme park.

Y'know. Like Disney World.

Or the Third World.

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I'm reminded of when someone from /tv/ posted a fake JP4 synopsis on IMDB, which had something to do with Samuel L. Jackson surviving the first movie and returning to the island with his dino-killing cyborg arm, seeking his revenge.

Honestly, that idea couldn't be any worse than the inevitable soulless garbage that this movie is going to be, with too much reliance on CGI and is made purely for the purposes of making a shitload of money for Spielberg et al.

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Ugh... Seriously? Jurassic Park 3 was a goddamn CGI shitfest. Can't wait to see how they intend to lower the bar from there. I'm trying to imagine what it could even be - what, we go back to the island for the 20th time? Someone tries to create a new tourist attraction? I could possibly see a "the dinosaurs are spreading" kind of movie, and heck, that was even hinted at in the first book, but it'd have to be very well done in order to pull that off and be even remotely interesting. I mean, you could maybe look at the ecological impact of the arrival of the dinosaurs, or how the dinosaurs themselves adapt to their new environment, and of course how humans react, but it can't be any of that Godzilla bullshit like they had in Jurassic Park 2. Not saying you don't have people getting eaten and whatnot, but you can't just have a t-rex rampaging through the city or whatever.

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Technician said:

I predict a CGI shit-fest that will make trillions on name recognition alone.


It's pretty sad that most billion-budget (I might be slightly exaggerating) action movies these days are CGI shit-fests.

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Jurassic World?! Sounds like a generic shitty low budget movie that SciFi channel would come up with(I refuse to call it "SyFy"). Really just call it Jurassic Park 4 like ya'll did with the previous movie.

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Fairly shitty title aside, I'll be optimisitc. I enjoyed the first film immensely and the second film, as well as both novels. I didn't mind JP3 either, though it wasn't very good overall. Also, I'd rather not see feathered raptors if the story is on the island again, because it wouldn't make sense when in relation to the other films.

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tried to watch the original JP the other day. the film is a complete shitfeast. Story structure is pretty much non-existent. the kids are godfuck annoying as hell. the t-rex develops stealth technology at the end (establish giant dinosaur that shakes the very earth when it moves. except when it wants to eat raptors, then it must mince across the visitor center on its fucking tip-toes.)

it's not the great movie people seem to remember, so speilberg can cash in as much as he wants. as long as he's shitting out Jurassic park sequels he's not directing another indiana jones movie. because none of us want that.

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hardcore_gamer said:

...but I also have to remember that there’s a lot of people who couldn’t care less"

That's me all day long. Couldn't really care less.

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darknation The World's Greatest Novelist said:
Story structure is pretty much non-existent.

Watching a movie like this for the plot is kind of like going to McDonald's and expecting gourmet food. But I'm sure your books are going to be read by unprecedentedly bored people on long distance flights, so what do I know about storytelling?*

*Though I DID enjoy that chapter about the Jobcentre. No bullshit.

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Clonehunter said:

Fairly shitty title aside, I'll be optimisitc. I enjoyed the first film immensely and the second film, as well as both novels. I didn't mind JP3 either, though it wasn't very good overall. Also, I'd rather not see feathered raptors if the story is on the island again, because it wouldn't make sense when in relation to the other films.


The first film was actually awesome. The second film was pretty meh though. And the third film was just lame.

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DoomUK said:

Watching a movie like this for the plot is kind of like going to McDonald's and expecting gourmet food. But I'm sure your books are going to be read by unprecedentedly bored people on long distance flights, so what do I know about storytelling?*

Michael Critchon isn't actually a bad author, per se; he made a decent career out of combining the popular science of the week with Bad Military Men or Lol Themepark once a year, and there are a couple of really good books in his oeuvre.

That said, the first half of JP is a pretty good movie. It's the second half of the film that descends into a series of set-piece FX showreels that advance the plot not one iota. You could actually take half those scenes and play them in pretty much any order and the movie wouldn't make any less (or any more) sense. Each scene exists separately in it's own little world, there is no thematic cohesion, no sense of rising stakes or rising peril. It is an exercise in filling out the run-time of the movie with ultimately pointless spectacle.

And no, Grant's character arc doesn't redeem the second half of the movie at all. Man hates kids. Kid pisses pants in car up tree. Grant now likes kids. Car falls down tree in a stupid fashion.

And how the FUCK did that car get up the tree in the first place? I saw the rex come over the concrete barrier and fence, now the dip on the other side of the fence is two hundred feet deep? Or is it another fence on the other side of the road that falls into a previously undeclared ravine on account of offensively incompetent direction?

Jurassic Park, as well as being the father of the CG spectacle tentpole movie, is also the father of lazy, anti-story bullshit blockbuster that now dominates hollywood. It annoys the ever-loving shit out of me - movies get stupider every year, the people that go to see them don't seem to care, good movies that don't feature abseiling dinosaur sequels never stand a chance at the box office and the movie industry drowns in its own piss, to the rapturous applause of the fucking peanut gallery.

DoomUK said:

*Though I DID enjoy that chapter about the Jobcentre. No bullshit.

Ironically, had to delete that chapter. For (some) of the above reasons.

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darknation said:

Jurassic Park, as well as being the father of the CG spectacle tentpole movie, is also the father of lazy, anti-story bullshit blockbuster that now dominates hollywood. It annoys the ever-loving shit out of me - movies get stupider every year, the people that go to see them don't seem to care, good movies that don't feature abseiling dinosaur sequels never stand a chance at the box office and the movie industry drowns in its own piss, to the rapturous applause of the fucking peanut gallery.

I won't deny that modern 'popcorn movies' really have become nothing but a series of colourful images on a screen, with absolutely zero artistic merit from a filmmaking perspective. I've gone from watching them out of boredom and/or from running out of better movies to watch, to avoiding watching them altogether. I just have better things to do than watch that new Superman movie or Wolverine's First Class or whatever it's called.

But I just think you're being way too hard on JP. It's infamous for its conspicuous goofs (the car-in-the-tree thing is the worst, but there's probably something glaringly wrong in every other scene), but those are part of its charm. And a coherent story IS told, it's just an incredibly simple one. Every movie has so-called "filler scenes" if you want to be anal about it. You could make the same case against Alien or RoboCop or The Terminator, but I'll have words with anyone who speaks ill of those.*

*EDIT: or Raiders of the Lost Ark, Back to the Future, Star Wars, Toy Story, The Thing, Titanic... or basically every movie which wasn't made by David Lynch or any other director with a more cerebral approach to making movies.

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Back last December I read how it would be in theaters in August 2014.

Coincidentally, I kid you not I'm wearing a Jurassic Park T-shirt right now.

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Other news sources state that this is part of a Franchise reboot that also includes a video game.

geo said:

Back last December I read how it would be in theaters in August 2014.

Coincidentally, I kid you not I'm wearing a Jurassic Park T-shirt right now.


How many you got? I have two, monkeyshit.

darknation said:

Michael Critchon isn't actually a bad author, per se; he made a decent career out of combining the popular science of the week with Bad Military Men or Lol Themepark once a year, and there are a couple of really good books in his oeuvre.


Really, only his last books were anywhere from decent to below-par. Mainly looking at Next (There's your non-coherent plot) and Pirate Latitudes. Really, a lot of his stuff was pretty gold.

Also he only did Themepark once really and bad military men? I thought it was exploitative destructive scientists. I think he only had two books that featured any military characters at all (Sphere and Timeline). I suppose you could count Eaters of the Dead as military too, granted vikings and arabs. /anal

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