stalling people

Sometimes on TV shows and movies when a character is trying to hide a secret or buy some time, the character will ask his or her companion to "stall him" or "stall them". Usually these characters are put under an unwanted spotlight and have to pull a stunt or improvise some small talk.

I've never needed to ask anyone to stall someone and I've never been asked before either. I suck at making small talk so I don't really know what I would do, but it happens often enough on tv and movies that I thought it might be handy to be useful in case a situation arises where having that skill would really help.

If someone told you to stall someone, what would you do?

40oz said:

If someone told you to stall someone, what would you do?

Fellate them.

I'd throw a Bill Clinton mask on and mug the people that need to be stalled. And try not to get shot doing it. But hey, who the hell would shoot good ol' Billy C?

In a more serious tone, like say, something business related and you gotta stall for someone else to set something up, I suppose just make up a bunch of senseless techno-babble and act like everything I'm saying is legit and real, just to make them think something real complicated is going on and that they should hold back a bit.

40oz said:

If someone told you to stall someone, what would you do?

I'll tell you tomorrow.

I was once decorating someone at work's desk for their birthday when it was noticed they'd pulled up early so I asked someone to go and stall him. The poor guy who was sent to stall was not very quick at thinking on his feet and the best he could come up with was "I can't get the hand dryer in the gents working, can you help me?" Hilariously, the hand dryer in the nearest toilet was a proximity sensor type so the birthday guy just put his hand underneath, it worked as normal and he must have thought the stall guy was a complete idiot.

I once stalled my Chemistry teacher before a test by asking him to tell our class about the history of the Atom.

^ definitely the best way. If you can figure out what your interlocutor is passionate about, get them started and play the audience part. Failing that, go on at lengths about something you're passionate about; something positive, non-controversial and esoteric, so people would feel sorry for raining on your parade and will quietly suffer your enthusiasm.

40oz said:
If someone told you to stall someone, what would you do?

I'd pelt the target with my pistol to allow my buddy to attack with the BFG safely while the pain threshold lasts.

But yeah, I've been watching a soap opera (what?!) and stalling has occurred more than once already.

I would just stare person in his eyes to his/her soul so he/she couln't move a muscle because of intense and gut gripping fear

I think it comes down to the ability of quickly asking a question VERY specific to a given person. You have to instantly recall everything you know about them to form the said inquiry.

Yeah I've been asked to stall people. Just ask questions. if they answer with one word answers, you need to dominate the conversation and don't shut up. In fact usually if I don't want to talk with someone I will hit them with so many words they want to end the conversation.

Hey 40oz! You Facebook page looks like it's been defaced!

That should distract him for a few minutes.

Just be like me- "I'm sorry sir, could you repeat yourself? I couldn't understand what you said, it has fallen on deaf ears. My deaf ears to be exact." Rinse and repeat. Guaranteed stalling method but you're bound to alienate a few people in the process. At least hilarious results can ensue.

Way too common tactic in sales/aggressive marketing/beggary and even politics/tv panels. I've even seen a politician claiming "technical difficulties hearing the question" for 10 minutes with a straight face even though he was both on the telephone and televised at the same time, with his and everybody else's voice being clearly heard through the TV.

Useless if your "opponent" lacks subtlety/intelligence and just pushes you aside/gives you a punch in the face.

scrunch up your face and ask them if they farted. Insist that they did. Suggest that they pick up a bowel cancer screening kit from the hospital as you walk away.

Pretend to be reading a book while you're following them wearing nightvision goggles and writing their every move into your log book, which is small book inside the book you pretend to be reading.

And if anyone asks you any questions, deny everything.

I once stalled a test until lunch by reading "Quoth the Raven" out loud in front of a class. In elementary school. Like a boss.

Doominator2 said:

I once stalled my Chemistry teacher before a test

Thus ensuring the students had less time to do the test. Genius!

Gez said:

Thus ensuring the students had less time to do the test. Genius!

The next day our teacher thought we actually took the test until the guy in the front shouted "What about the test are we gonna write it today?"